Careercow Adam White / Chibi / Chibinekodemyx / Aquana / ShinyAquana - Cringeworthy Speedrunner Extraordinaire, Online Predator, Sexual Deviant, Banned from magnet therapy, Has been to Japan and never shuts up about it, made an ass of himself on national Japanese television

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Probably mommy that shaved him...

I'm not going to post that video of him "shaving" again, so I'll just say "of course she did".

 

[AbyssStarer]

View attachment 1152246

After bitching to no end, he shaved that disgusting, misshapen thing off.

He's so backwards that basically everything that he does that feels wrong is actually a big step in the right direction. If he wants to escape being a lolcow, he should do everything that feels wrong to him.

If I randomly saw this pic I'd think it's a mid-puberty guy. He has a real baby face and the hair doesn't help, but hey, masculinity might not be his thing.

 

[SmugDruggler]

Aquana on Twitter

“I’m better off now than I’ve ever been. By the end of this year I could be making 25-28/hour as an assistant manager, have the opportunity to go to an event that celebrates its top sellers, might have another chance to run a game at GDQ, And I still have thoughts of suicide.”

twitter.com

Aquana on Twitter

“In case you were under the misconception that success cures depression, you are woefully wrong. You can be the most successful person on the planet and the depression will remain. It’s ok to NOT be ok.”

twitter.com

His suicidal depression was forgotten and he was back to tweeting about the new Animal Crossing within minutes of posting these.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Aquana on Twitter

“I’m better off now than I’ve ever been. By the end of this year I could be making 25-28/hour as an assistant manager, have the opportunity to go to an event that celebrates its top sellers, might have another chance to run a game at GDQ, And I still have thoughts of suicide.”

twitter.com

Aquana on Twitter

“In case you were under the misconception that success cures depression, you are woefully wrong. You can be the most successful person on the planet and the depression will remain. It’s ok to NOT be ok.”

twitter.com

His suicidal depression was forgotten and he was back to tweeting about the new Animal Crossing within minutes of posting these.

"In case you were under the misconception that success cures depression, you are woefully wrong"

Nigga, who are you to say? Nothing about you even suggests the word "success".

 

[Zhoban]

https://twitter.com/ShinyAquana/status/1230680481395609601

If this is true, then congratulations to him. But, I wasn't aware they kept track to such an extent. And, if it's true, wouldn't AT&T be looking at moving him over to corporate, rather than giving him the second-lowest position in their dead-end store?

Regardless, he should probably not be already planning for the video games and speedruns he plans on paying for, but rather moving out of his mom's house.

 

[Neon Tetra]

"In case you were under the misconception that success cures depression, you are woefully wrong"

Nigga, who are you to say? Nothing about you even suggests the word "success".

I agree that the word "success" isn't accurate. That being said, for Chibi a promotion like that would be a very huge step in the right direction to escaping his living situation, social situation and even his lol cow title. I hope he gets it and I hope he keeps that caveman beard off his face.

Chibi is one of the few lol cows I cheer for because he absolutely has the potential to be a better man and maybe this opportunity will make him see it too. God speed Chibi.

 

[SmugDruggler]

And, if it's true, wouldn't AT&T be looking at moving him over to corporate, rather than giving him the second-lowest position in their dead-end store?

TBF, probably not. I doubt a major corporation like AT&T would risk moving a bottom rung sales associate (who in this particular case has zero education or experience in actual business) straight to corporate just because he has good sales numbers. The next step would likely be to move him up one rung and see how he handles low-mid level management duties in addition to sales before promoting him further. Going by Google, the salary he mentions is also spot on for what that position pays. If this isn't true, it's a well researched lie.

 

[Tanner Glass]

TBF, probably not. I doubt a major corporation like AT&T would risk moving a bottom rung sales associate (who in this particular case has zero education or experience in actual business) straight to corporate just because he has good sales numbers. The next step would likely be to move him up one rung and see how he handles low-mid level management duties in addition to sales before promoting him further. Going by Google, the salary he mentions is also spot on for what that position pays. If this isn't true, it's a well researched lie.

Not just good sales numbers, but good sales numbers for a week. Realistically, he would need to be in the top 30% for more than a week to have an actually serious promotion talk.

 

[thebonesauce]

There ain’t no way this nigger is going to be moving up in that company making anywhere NEAR the amounts he’s referring to. There’s no way in hell he isn’t just a support technician in a call center, working alongside people from Trivago and HelloFresh.

He just posted this on his community tab on YouTube as well...

 

[SmugDruggler]

Not just good sales numbers, but good sales numbers for a week. Realistically, he would need to be in the top 30% for more than a week to have an actually serious promotion talk.

Exactly. AT&T can go to the career fair of any business school in this country to offer entry level corporate positions. If anything, this “event that celebrates its top sellers” would be his chance to shine and sell himself to the bigwigs. Best case scenario, and this is all a stretch, is that his sales are as good as he says, and he’s on someone at corporate’s radar; this promotion to assistant manager is coming from someone higher up than just his store manager. It’s a test, since he doesn’t actually have any demonstrable skills in accounting/marketing/business management/etc that would immediately warrant an internship.

Essentially, they wanna make sure the guy who asked Twitter for Algebra II help can count the cash drawer, close the safe, and lock the door at night before they offer him a desk job.

@thebonesauce It's only one step up from where he is now, and believe it or not

at&t assistant manager salary - Google Search

 

[CausticMinory]

IDK if anything I think a corporate manager might wanna look into the guy they MIGHT promote to an ASM position. And since AT&T are kinda a social media tool, they might look into Adam's social media to see if he can handle work off hours. Which might be bad since he literally just leaked his own fucking nudes.

 

[The Wichita Lion]

Wouldn't his sales numbers be somewhat inflated since this is arguably ATT's most profitable time? This is the time of year all the new Samsung phones are dropping so you have pre-orders for those in addition to people getting last year's phones for cheap as they are trying to get rid of them. Let's see his sales numbers in like March or April when he doesn't have that sort of rush coming into his store.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

And since AT&T are kinda a social media tool, they might look into Adam's social media to see if he can handle work off hours. Which might be bad since he literally just leaked his own fucking nudes.

What if they saw them and decided to promote him out of sheer pity? And not in a sense "oh, poor fella got his nudes leaked"

 

[Tanner Glass]

Wouldn't his sales numbers be somewhat inflated since this is arguably ATT's most profitable time? This is the time of year all the new Samsung phones are dropping so you have pre-orders for those in addition to people getting last year's phones for cheap as they are trying to get rid of them. Let's see his sales numbers in like March or April when he doesn't have that sort of rush coming into his store.

Yes, plus a million other factors. It's why people that are considered "top sales" don't just put up great numbers for a single week, they do it consistently for a much larger period of time. That's why his talk of "I'm in the top % for a week and now I'm being considered for ASM" is insane.

A large part of corporate sales is gamesmanship - they don't just look at sales numbers, there's a lot of other metrics attached. For AT&T it would be things like insurance attachments, NEXT plans, contracts, accessories, and so on. Chibi also could have gotten a lucky sale (ex - a small business owner goes to the store and replaces all of his employee's phones through NEXT, with insurance and few cases) that he didn't have much to do with.

 

[FrozenFlame]

All of this speculation can be boiled down to a simple thing: it's Chibi.

I guarantee his boss was just like 'good job on the sales this week' and he interpreted it as being one of the top sellers in the country.

It's like back when he worked at BK and told everyone he was going to be made a manager and then got fired because of downsizing(?). Or when he worked at Microcenter and told his Discord he was a top seller and then got fired because of a misentered email.

 

[blinkber385]

If you go back like 2 or 3 weeks on his twitter he posted pictures complaining about how his store is always empty every single day for hours. Something tells me that a low traffic Michigan AT&T score doesn't house the "second best" salesman in the country but hey, what do I know

 

[Tanner Glass]

If you go back like 2 or 3 weeks on his twitter he posted pictures complaining about how his store is always empty every single day for hours. Something tells me that a low traffic Michigan AT&T score doesn't house the "second best" salesman in the country but hey, what do I know

It could, though. If Chibi were to only get one sales ticket in a week but it was a good one (ex, someone buys a phone with all the extras) his average stats will be much, much higher than a "regular" salesperson who has to help several people over a week.

Sales metrics are typically averages, meaning that slower store is much more likely to be a "boom or bust" place.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

If you go back like 2 or 3 weeks on his twitter he posted pictures complaining about how his store is always empty every single day for hours. Something tells me that a low traffic Michigan AT&T score doesn't house the "second best" salesman in the country but hey, what do I know

Are you trying to say, that we can't trust a word of autistic attention whore who leaked his nudes twice?

 

[blinkber385]

It could, though. If Chibi were to only get one sales ticket in a week but it was a good one (ex, someone buys a phone with all the extras) his average stats will be much, much higher than a "regular" salesperson who has to help several people over a week.

Sales metrics are typically averages, meaning that slower store is much more likely to be a "boom or bust" place.

Occam's razor, stick with that when dealing with a habitually lying autistic person

Well the whole "#1 salesman" thing is becoming a whole lot clearer now that he's posted pictures of his actual "awards", which are pieces of paper with absolute nonsense platitudes and patronizing titles inkjetted onto them. His bosses are telling him things like he's the "#1 friendly expert" and rewarding him for "PREMIUM VIDEO POSTED" (???) and he takes that to mean he's #1 in Michigan. If only all employees were this easily manipulated.

Also, he did a great job broadcasting which store he works at to the internet, surely nothing bad has ever come from Chibi spilling personal info before

 

[Xolanite]

https://twitter.com/ShinyAquana/status/1230680481395609601

If this is true, then congratulations to him. But, I wasn't aware they kept track to such an extent. And, if it's true, wouldn't AT&T be looking at moving him over to corporate, rather than giving him the second-lowest position in their dead-end store?

Regardless, he should probably not be already planning for the video games and speedruns he plans on paying for, but rather moving out of his mom's house.

Aquana on Twitter: "I’m #2 in the nation right now at AT&T??? OUT OF …

archived 2 Mar 2020 00:55:04 UTC

archive.is