Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[Picklechu]

I'm planning to dig through the wall of the crematorium's furnace to grab the body before it's reduced to ash. I've thought it through pretty carefully and it seems like a good idea.

Yawning Sneasel will only pay half if she's ashes, so it's worth it.

 

[LargeChoonger]

Barb's death could be the 300 pound dumbell that crushes the emaciated camel. I wonder if he'd try to kidnap some frail old woman as a replacement

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Barb will live for at least 15 more years.

 

[ScrappyLobsterchu]

Barb's death could be the 300 pound dumbell that crushes the emaciated camel. I wonder if he'd try to kidnap some frail old woman as a replacement

Chris is going to pull some Pokemon 3 shit and kidnap some poor old southern hag to be his mom.

 

[Stormy Daniel's Lawyer]

He will render a full scale replica of Barb made completely of Legos and proudly display it in his bedroom. The actual Barb will be buried in the back yard. The stench from her rotting carcass will attract feral cats from all over Ruckersville, VA.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Barb's death could be the 300 pound dumbell that crushes the emaciated camel. I wonder if he'd try to kidnap some frail old woman as a replacement

Chris is going to pull some Pokemon 3 shit and kidnap some poor old southern hag to be his mom.

Barb did "steal" a neighbor's dog and kept it until the owner forcibly confronted her about it (and Chris being naive thought it was okay).

So it would be within the realm of possibility for him to do that.

 

[Law-Talking Guy]

Barb did "steal" a neighbor's dog and kept it until the owner forcibly confronted her about it (and Chris being naive thought it was okay).

So it would be within the realm of possibility for him to do that.

Let's be real here, folks: Kidnapping people requires work. He's have to get out in the hot, hot, sun.

Realistically, he'd just tell Magi-Chan to open up a portal to the sister dimension and bring over Barb's reincarnated Sonichu form.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Let's be real here, folks: Kidnapping people requires work. He's have to get out in the hot, hot, sun.

Realistically, he'd just tell Magi-Chan to open up a portal to the sister dimension and bring over Barb's reincarnated Sonichu form.

At least he has someone to talk to while he's resting beside a oil drum fire underneath an overpass.

 

[troon patrol]

They say art imitates life. I say autism imitates bates.

 

[Chad Nasty]

At least he has someone to talk to while he's resting beside a oil drum fire underneath an overpass.

The thought of Chris homeless and in dire straits doesn't bring me any joy.

 

[Jeff Gazetti]

Wow 233 pages since 2015.

Barb is a woman and women usually live longer than men. I think it’s more possible barb will slip into senile dementia before just kicking the bucket.

 

[The Fool]

Wow 233 pages since 2015.

Barb is a woman and women usually live longer than men. I think it’s more possible barb will slip into senile dementia before just kicking the bucket.

This isn't medically accurate, by the way. It's a statistic born from the fact that men simply do more dangerous things, working construction, golfing in thunderstorms, that sort of dumb shit.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

The thought of Chris homeless and in dire straits doesn't bring me any joy.

Where do you think you are?

... actually I agree. But still though.

 

[Law-Talking Guy]

We all know that when Barb dies, Chris will end up homeless within a year.
The real question is what happens to the house. The bank will own it, but will obviously want to sell it. However, whenever you google "14 Branchland Court", the first result is the Cwcki. Potential home buyers are likely to google the address at some point, and they'll tumble into our den of autism.
Maybe some rich troll will buy the house and turn it into a Chris-chan living museum, with Chris himself as the main exhibit.
Okay, that almost certainly won't happen. But imagine it for a second. That would be a pretty good deal for Chris. He could even give tours.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

We all know that when Barb dies, Chris will end up homeless within a year.
The real question is what happens to the house. The bank will own it, but will obviously want to sell it. However, whenever you google "14 Branchland Court", the first result is the Cwcki. Potential home buyers are likely to google the address at some point, and they'll tumble into our den of autism.
Maybe some rich troll will buy the house and turn it into a Chris-chan living museum, with Chris himself as the main exhibit.
Okay, that almost certainly won't happen. But imagine it for a second. That would be a pretty good deal for Chris. He could even give tours.

That can happen. Chris does have supporters (unfortunately) who have been keeping him affloat after the fire/and during the Financhu crisis. I mean there could be the obligatory gofundme just because Chris was bullied online (the enablers/sjw's will eat that up). But how long would that last? There'd be enablers chomping at the bit to be Chris' roomie, contribute to pay off the house. The downside is Chris will continue doing what he's been doing since 2007: leech of others, shit himself and do nothing.

 

[AnOminous]

This isn't medically accurate, by the way. It's a statistic born from the fact that men simply do more dangerous things, working construction, golfing in thunderstorms, that sort of dumb shit.

That's only part of it. The other part is women had to be able to survive the repeated trauma of childbirth and once the deaths from that were more or less eliminated they just tend to live longer as a result. Men have a number of medical conditions they're more susceptible to that lead to an earlier death.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

This isn't medically accurate, by the way. It's a statistic born from the fact that men simply do more dangerous things, working construction, golfing in thunderstorms, that sort of dumb shit.

I am not sure. There used to be a 7 year gap; women lived 7 years longer but it's closing as women take on more stressful occupations. The other prevailing theory (which may now be old and busted, IDK, medspergs needed here) is that the testosterone that gives men their strength also wears out their cardiovascular system faster whereas women's estrogen keeps their arteries from hardening. But there's a lot of other ways to die, and women are catching up in the heart attack department.

I could be wrong but Barb doesn't look all that sick to me. Chris complains of loads of physical symptoms but apparently there's no point in addressing them with a doctor because he's going to live for thousands of years and the headaches and tingling are from his electric powers or some shit.

 

[Jeff Gazetti]

This isn't medically accurate, by the way. It's a statistic born from the fact that men simply do more dangerous things, working construction, golfing in thunderstorms, that sort of dumb shit.

It’s an average. A statistic.

Life expectancy in North America 2019 | Statista

This statistic shows the average life expectancy in North America for those born in 2019, by gender and region.

www.statista.com

All around the world in almost all countries, women outlive men. Im sure the roles each gender plays definitely figures into the equation.

 

[Syaoran Li]

This isn't medically accurate, by the way. It's a statistic born from the fact that men simply do more dangerous things, working construction, golfing in thunderstorms, that sort of dumb shit.

As @AnOminous already pointed out, that's a two-fold reason. Part of it is due to men tending to be in more risky occupations and scenarios, and part of it is due to the averages being drastically altered in the industrialized world thanks to modern medicine largely eliminating death by childbirth.

In a lot of third world countries, while women tend to outlive men on average, the gap is a lot more narrow due to childbirth deaths being an actual factor and because the average health of both genders in these countries tends to be worse overall.

Barb is an elderly woman in the First World, and she's proven to be very stubborn and tough even in her current weakened state. These predictions have been going on since Bob died, and this thread in particular is half a decade old at this point. Barb's death is probably going to take us by surprise because she's held out for so long. I don't think she'll die at home and be consumed by the Hoard, even in his deluded state, Chris will call an ambulance and get her to a hospital if her life is in danger and if she dies in her sleep and Chris finds out the next morning, he'll freak out and call somebody.

I do think she'll finally bite the dust in the 2020's, but I would not be surprised if she survives all of 2020 or even 2021.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I do think she'll finally bite the dust in the 2020's

Not unless Chris dies first - which he may. She's got plenty of miserable, spiteful years left in her as long as she's got someone to tend to her holey buttocks.