- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
She might be back before that. Remember, in her mind Insta stories don't count as social media.
Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2019
Did she get dropped for real?
- Joined
- May 17, 2017
Ooooo oooo I know the answer to this one.
You couldn't let natural nails get this long with that shape - even with really good, strong nails you can only get them long at all by retaining the strength in the side walls. All these crazy nail shapes came along with plastics and in the natural nail world it's still rare to find anything other than yer bog standard oval/square variations because these only need filing at the very tips whereas almond (which I think these are trying to be. And failing) coffin, stiletto et al need filing right down the free edge. Acrylics are crazy strong though, which is why it's so important they are balanced properly so the stress point will give before it rips your nail off. As I said, good job Ten-Ton never does anything because those aren't balanced at all.
Having said that, there is a whole subset of natural nails that go into obscenely long territory and they are absolutely
, not helped by the fact they're generally a revolting colour because they're usually always protected by polish to get that long in the first place.* But the weird shapes and over the top stones and other ornamentation is purely the reserve of a certain style of acrylics; natural nails just won't take the punishment.@Barbarella There. I'm here to collect my girly points.
*I've no idea how I came across it, but I recall a vid with women maintaining absolutely obscene long natural nails. Usually they'll curve and twist into strange shapes so these women would carefully cut the tip off at point where they either twisted or cracked, cut out the offending part then glue the tip part back on. Their nails were just a series of yellow, glued together chunks that were way beyond the grossest acrylics. Apart from pure insanity, it quite put me off my blue string pudding. I'll see if I can find it cos I like to share the joy.
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- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
Remember that time Nikki was legitimately employed for years in the music industry, thereby becoming an expect in all the best music marketing techniques?
Me neither. What a weird lie to flex on. If you have so much industry experience, why could you never find employment in LA beyond "buy my crap digital paintings of my more famous wife"? Why do you have "a crappy job" now?
Me neither. What a weird lie to flex on. If you have so much industry experience, why could you never find employment in LA beyond "buy my crap digital paintings of my more famous wife"? Why do you have "a crappy job" now?
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- Joined
- Nov 14, 2016
Most Vietnamese salons in LA have staff that regularly mock fat people, some times right in front of them, in Vietnamese. (power level—my regular manicurist taught me “con heo mập”)
- Joined
- May 17, 2017
Big gay Nick is, quite possibly, even more of a poser than his vacuous heifer of an ex.
He's that tosser who goes to parties with kids half his age, dressed like a complete cockwomble - and always with the worst shoes - to prove he's down with those kids and an elder figure to which they can aspire; yes you can be cool as you age, no kids don't constrain his life and Never Knew How To Love Until etc etc etc and yes, he's totally proof that life just gets better as you get older. Just look at me guys, I'm totes on your level, yah.
Hasn't learned a bloody thing but thinks he has gravitas, dribbles on about all the Cool Drugs he did because he was the world's biggest stoner but now he knows he can have a great time without it, high on life totes worth the struggle of giving up yah, it's how he Found Himself™ (moment of reverent silence for the miracle,) is utterly precious about defunct tech and often ends up left stuffed in a skip at the end of the night cos everyone's fed up with the mimsying wanker and his stupid trousers. He, of course, thinks this is a huge jape and the kids are just having fun with him because they think he's that cool. "Hey guys, hahaha, come back....yah, so funny, hahaha. Come back doooooods.....oh, we're having such a laugh. ... "
What a cunt. Good job he's a millionaire.
He's that tosser who goes to parties with kids half his age, dressed like a complete cockwomble - and always with the worst shoes - to prove he's down with those kids and an elder figure to which they can aspire; yes you can be cool as you age, no kids don't constrain his life and Never Knew How To Love Until etc etc etc and yes, he's totally proof that life just gets better as you get older. Just look at me guys, I'm totes on your level, yah.
Hasn't learned a bloody thing but thinks he has gravitas, dribbles on about all the Cool Drugs he did because he was the world's biggest stoner but now he knows he can have a great time without it, high on life totes worth the struggle of giving up yah, it's how he Found Himself™ (moment of reverent silence for the miracle,) is utterly precious about defunct tech and often ends up left stuffed in a skip at the end of the night cos everyone's fed up with the mimsying wanker and his stupid trousers. He, of course, thinks this is a huge jape and the kids are just having fun with him because they think he's that cool. "Hey guys, hahaha, come back....yah, so funny, hahaha. Come back doooooods.....oh, we're having such a laugh. ... "
What a cunt. Good job he's a millionaire.
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- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
What does that mean?
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2019
If he did have a job within the music industry then he was likely nothing more than the errand boy, hence why quit and lived on his heifer of a wife.
Beth
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2014
Fat pig.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
I'm not joking when I say I don't think she can fit in a nail salon chair anymore.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
I think you may be onto something.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
I hear stories of nail salons putting weight limits on the pedicure chairs. A decent one starts at about $2000 and go up from there.
You get some 600 pound heifer plopping herself down in one too many times, and you're going to have a busted pedi chair.
Of course the fatties get pissed and want to sue.
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- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
LMAO he sounds like a fucking hipster douche here.
Also, over the summer Tess went to Vegas and got her hair done, which makes me think she went to that salon for deathfats, as that's where it is.
yousoundlikeanasshole
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2020
No, I'm just wishful posting.
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2019
I finally managed to go through the entire thread (I may have written something a while ago with the original Whale Lake, but who the fuck has time to remember that?), but I still have a question: why in the world did she call her poor son "Bowie" instead of the normal, classic, always elegant "David"?
It's also absolutely hilarious how hard she tries to go for the teenage Lana del Rey (pre three nose surgeries, pre huge lips, pre botox in the cheeks) look: softly 50s and 60s vintage with lots of pastels and pink, finger waves, "West Coast" and celebrity lifestyle fetish. It's just like watching those young girls who go to Walmart and Target and try to get clothes that look expensive but end up buying cheap crap they will wear once because it itches, except sadder.
It's also absolutely hilarious how hard she tries to go for the teenage Lana del Rey (pre three nose surgeries, pre huge lips, pre botox in the cheeks) look: softly 50s and 60s vintage with lots of pastels and pink, finger waves, "West Coast" and celebrity lifestyle fetish. It's just like watching those young girls who go to Walmart and Target and try to get clothes that look expensive but end up buying cheap crap they will wear once because it itches, except sadder.
It's mind boggling to think that that dress, if worn by an actual model, would have looked stunning. On Tess it looks like the emptied intestines of pigs as they are being filled with the minced meat.
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2014
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
Would a joke about swine flu be too obvious?
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
To be special. Look at Rylee's name (though that was more narcissism). David is too common for someone as loud and obnoxious as her.
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2019
If she named her little boy David, nobody would know that she is cool enough to be a fan of an extremely well known and beloved rockstar who is unfortunately popular amongst kweer wannabes just like Tess. Not his music, mind, just the idea of him. Tess doesn’t spend any time with her Bowie, but if she did I doubt they’d be listening to “Let’s Dance” in the car.
LetThemEatCake
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2019
She think Bowie will make him - and her by asssociation - stand out and look glamorous, creative and unique. David Bowie was cool and beautiful and special, therefore if you give your son that name, it shows you are too. She's wrong, of course.
Trash on either side of the Atlantic always seems to be drawn to giving their children 'original' names, names made up from whole cloth or ganked from current trashy celebrities. There's also the trend of mispelling a normal name on purpose to stand out. It's actually a strong socioeconomic marker that can actually affect chances of getting a job to have a clearly 'trash' name on your CV. She called him Bowie instead of David because David is far too subtle to signal her intended association with glamourous rock stars. It's kind of a very weird form of aspiratonal weirdness in that it doesn't even work, if you are actually aspirational for your kids you give them a name that will help them, not hinder them or basically stink of the ghetto or the trailer park. It's like the way Tess dresses. in that she thinks wearing bright, fussy, sausage skin tight, 'sexy' ghetto clothes awith bits cut out and little straps and high hemlines, showing acres of skin and cleavage and tats and having these long, fussy, [aonted false nails makes her look hot as fuck and glamorous as fuck, when it does the opposite, it makes her look her very worst and emphasizes her very low class background and taste.
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