Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

[TotallyAChick]

Pretty sure that I thought something similar, that they were more of a subculture (like hippies) composed of fortune tellers and others, rather than an actual people group. Public school didn't help, of course...

I feel that. I guess (combined with school) it's why to this day I only see 3 races- white, black, asian. "Brown people" are just tanned whites.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

I used to think adults knew what the fuck they were talking about.

 

[Chan Fan]

Pretty sure that I thought something similar, that they were more of a subculture (like hippies) composed of fortune tellers and others, rather than an actual people group. Public school didn't help, of course...

This. I've still never met one but at least I believe they exist now lol

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

My smallass hometown had importance.

 

[FluffyTehFennekin]

I used to think parents would get their babies from “baby stores” (similar to how you get pets from a pet store) and that all babies were orphans who just looked like their parents.

 

[peachpit]

When in the car and driving, I’d always think everyone driving our direction was going to hell (because you’d see the red tail lights) and all the other cars were going to heaven (white headlights). Oddly I would only have this thought when driving at night.

 

[Hate]

I used to believe every birthday I grew an inch taller all of a sudden. I thought that's how growing up worked.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I thought mammals evolved from birds, and the kiwi and duck-billed platypus were evidence of that.

(maybe it's not stupid, but it seems false)

 

[BingBong]

I used to think that black people were human.

 

[Count groudon]

I thought my shadow was some kind of friendly spirit that followed me around, and if I tried hard enough I could train it to do stuff for me. I remember once when I was about 5 I was sitting at the dinner table eating snack and I accidentally dropped a bag of chips and my shadow happened to be over them, so I moved my arm so that my shadow’s hand was over it and I started to grab at the air with my hand to try and make my shadow grab them and hand them to me. Eventually my mom noticed and picked them up for me and I got depressed for the rest of the evening because I thought my shadow didn’t like me.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I thought mammals evolved from birds, and the kiwi and duck-billed platypus were evidence of that.

Also I thought evolution worked like pokemon: linear progress to better forms.

 

[Richard Harrow]

I used to think m.i.l.k came from white cows and chocolate m.i.l.k came from darker cows. With strawberry, I never had an answer.

 

[Count groudon]

Also I thought evolution worked like pokemon: linear progress to better forms.

If that’s the case, I evolved like Slaking but without the being super broken and strong part.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I recall using watercolors and being frustrated at my crappy kid painting being nowhere near a Renaissance master painting level.

 

[Preferred Penne]

I thought cartoon characters were real people wearing costumes. I remember hoping the actor playing Sylvester was okay after Tweety Bird smashed his head in with a hammer.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

In 4th grade, my class was reading the book "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", and we got to the part where it said the people on the boat were whizzing through the chocolate river. For some reason 10 year old me thought everyone on the boat was taking a piss in the chocolate river. Needless to say, my teacher almost blew a blood vessel, thats how pissed off she got.

 

[Big Nasty]

Also I thought evolution worked like pokemon: linear progress to better forms.

I remember reading a magazine opinion piece by some idiot journalist about how Pokemon should be promoted in schools because it would lead to student developing greater understanding and appreciation of evolution.

Btw, when my local newspaper first wrote about Pokemon, they called it "Poker Moon".

 

[LargeChoonger]

I thought people got pregnant by exchanging saliva while kissing

 

[Jason Wynn]

I had read Tom Sawyer when I was around 7 or so, and noticed they used the phrase "fagged out" a few times to mean being very tired. I had never heard that before and asked my dad what fagged out meant. He was kind of taken aback, but confirmed that yes it meant very tired but means something else nowadays and didn't elaborate further.

I had wanted to impress my English teacher by knowing old time slang and words, so I told her one day that I was feeling a bit fagged out after gym class that day.

I found out what it meant in current slang shortly after my mortified dad found out I said it.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

When I was 5 I used to think the only races where white and black and all other races where just different levels of mixed. I quickly learned better after calling my Italian dad black