Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[Jan Ciągwa]

If Jesus came back to earth Richard would be more preoccupied trying to get Jesus to make him a swimming pool of barefoot wine instead of working on his job or relationships.

...and Jesus made a swimming pool of barefoot wine Richard can walk on but not dive in

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

Now that he's old and fat he looks like every white guy ever arrested in a trailer park on a 90s episode of COPS.

 

[Jan Ciągwa]

He looks like a fucking idiot.

 

[RapidUnplannedDisassembly]

All we should do is riff on his looks until there's more useful news about the divorce or the website's inevitable death from being crushed by its own weight like a beached whale.

Someone wished on a monkey's paw for a white trash version of Morgan Freeman.

His picture smells like sleep sweat, ear wax, and a Solo cup of Boone's Farm that was left on a patio table overnight.

His mouth might say he wants his toddler age daughter back, but his appearance says 'dear CPS, my daughter would be safer in the hands of Russian human traffickers than remanded back into my care.'

 

[Sir Wesley Tailpipe]

He looks like a fucking idiot.

It isn’t false advertising.

 

[mota]

Missed opportunities and all but holy hell this dude could have been a multimillionaire if he had taken a buyout that was offered in the mid-00s. Now he’s just a white-trash dude in an probably-unfurnished McMansion in Nowhere, Missouri.

Get it together, man!

Also what happened to the GT-R he was so proud of a few years ago? Given it’s a halfassed car by the Chrysler of Japan it’s an apt metaphor for where his life went.

 

[forums poster wow]

Also what happened to the GT-R he was so proud of a few years ago? Given it’s a halfassed car by the Chrysler of Japan it’s an apt metaphor for where his life went.

I think it was leased and he got rid of it for a van, quite possibly playing a role in his loathing of his last wife.

 

[Jan Ciągwa]

It isn’t false advertising.

He looks like something awful.

 

[Ghostse]

All we should do is riff on his looks until there's more useful news about the divorce or the website's inevitable death from being crushed by its own weight like a beached whale.

Someone wished on a monkey's paw for a white trash version of Morgan Freeman.

His picture smells like sleep sweat, ear wax, and a Solo cup of Boone's Farm that was left on a patio table overnight.

His mouth might say he wants his toddler age daughter back, but his appearance says 'dear CPS, my daughter would be safer in the hands of Russian human traffickers than remanded back into my care.'

Eraser head lookin' ass nigga
Home Alone lookin' ass nigga
Lost custody so actually home alone lookin' ass nigga
"A large cheese pizza all to myself" Lookin' ass nigga

"Hungry Man's too much work" lookin' ass nigga
Checkin' the mail in his robe lookin' ass nigga
Barber didn't even try lookin' ass nigga
Day 3 same undies lookin' ass nigga

Back in court for child support lookin' ass nigga
"You are the father" lookin' ass nigga
Judge Judy's final episode lookin' ass nigga
"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" lookin' ass nigga
Only could afford a single wide lookin' ass nigga
Shirtless in cuffs on COPS lookin' ass nigga
Momma at the station with bail lookin' ass nigga

Teen Wolf at 45 lookin' ass nigga
"I had much potential what happened? AROOOO" lookin' ass nigga
Can't even tell when its a full moon now lookin' ass nigga

Point 'im out, Point 'im out, Point 'im out

 

[repentance]

He looks like a fucking idiot.

Imagine any young woman finding THAT attractive.

 

[Begemot]

Imagine any young woman finding THAT attractive.

BPD is a hell of a drug

 

[Jan Ciągwa]

Many women find 'intentionally stupid' look attractive.

That said women like this stupid fucking thing called 'makeup' so don't bother too much with what they think.

 

[Pepper Jack]

By day he is Richard Lowtax Kyanka


By night he is The Freakazoid!

 

[break these cuffs]

By day he is Richard Lowtax Kyanka
View attachment 1185941

By night he is The Freakazoid!
View attachment 1185942

That is an insult to Freakazoid who was a funloving, good-natured scamp

 

[Ghostse]

That is an insult to Freakazoid who was a funloving, good-natured scamp

His homebase is in a strip mall
Patreon! Mangosteen!
Isn't self aware at all
Mormon Thot! BPD!

 

[proteus4994]

You don’t even need to write a song parody about Lowtax, Bad Religion already has you covered

 

[0 0]

By day he is Richard Lowtax Kyanka
View attachment 1185941

By night he is The Freakazoid!
View attachment 1185942

Spoiler

I had to see this nightmare image when editing this, and now you must, too.

 

[AnOminous]

Does he even realize how fucking ridiculous he looks in that Eraserhead/Freakazoid getup?

 

[Dan Abrams]

Missed opportunities and all but holy hell this dude could have been a multimillionaire if he had taken a buyout that was offered in the mid-00s. Now he’s just a white-trash dude in an probably-unfurnished McMansion in Nowhere, Missouri.

Get it together, man!

Also what happened to the GT-R he was so proud of a few years ago? Given it’s a halfassed car by the Chrysler of Japan it’s an apt metaphor for where his life went.

I imagine he's like Apple's third founder who sold his stake in the company in the 70s, which now would be worth billions and billions of dollars: He claims he doesn't care, but you know he totally does regret it.

 

[break these cuffs]

Does he even realize how fucking ridiculous he looks in that Eraserhead/Freakazoid getup?

Why would he care? The man is 100% zane! I'm sure the bill and booze addictions make it easy not to care most of the time, but I think the real money maker that makes it worth for him is not having to shower or groom himself regularly. He really is a lazy fuck.