Tamar, you do realize Marshall probably doesn't really think you're beautiful, right? I mean, you're a rapidly aging poor single mother with a huge forehead and a half-dozen kids. That doesn't scream "attractive" as much as it screams "easy victim". You're an easy lay who doesn't even demand he live with you and help with your kids, or even his own.
Firstly, my name is Ruth now. My husband re-named me in honor of a renewal of our Covenant. Take note.
Out of the blue, whilst he was browsing Kiwi Farms, he just told me last night my forehead is in portion to my face and he then commented on his higher forehead. He doesn't see your POV about the forehead.
Secondly, I'm far from
rapidly aging. Many people mistake me for younger than I am and am surprised to hear that I am having my 6th child, because, as I've heard more than once "you don't even look old enough to have 6 children". My aging gracefully is a blessing of following The Torah. Plus I eat my fruits and veggies, eat organic, use Essential Oils and use organic creams/toners.etc. Marshall has never shown any indication that he thinks I'm less valuable because I'm aging, just as he is aging too! Fortunately, he isn't a hypocritical sexist like that. You know, the men who think it's OK for them to age but then dehumanize women for aging.
Next, I'll show just how different a pagan's thinking is from an Israelite....
Thirdly, telling me I'm "aging" doesn't register as "bad" at all. Marshall isn't a Goy. He doesn't idolize youth, and neither do I. In The Torah, older people get more respect and stature. My brain thinks the same way.
Also, don't forget, you are talking to a woman whose religious beliefs preclude using birth control and abortion. I'm about 6 (at minimum) to 13 (at maximum) years away from menopause. You do realize that telling an Isrealite woman she is "aging" is one more year closer AWAY from the demands and work of pregnancy and childbirth?? That's like telling someone they are a few years closer to paying off their mortgage. That's the TRADE OFF. In a culture that doesn't use birth control or abortion, aging has its place and season too. Right now I'm enjoying the prime of my youth and when it comes time to be menopausal and 45...50...55, I'll be happy in the knowledge that I used my child bearing years to love my babies, enjoy raising a family and live out my full potential as a child bearing woman. Then I'll smile as an older woman because I can sleep in more easily (older/grown children) and enjoy sex in a different way (without getting pregnant).
Fourthly, neither Marshall or I care that I'm poor. It's the trade off of living set apart. Sure, I could throw my children into the system (public school), consequently betraying The Torah, or I could homeschool and take the pay cut. Marshall SEES this too.
I'm only $800 away from paying off my publisher and my book will go to market (Walmart, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc). Hopefully my commitment to trying to earn from small business and not betraying my values to homeschool will pay off. Even if the book is a total flop and I make nothing, than I may still be poor BUT happy in the knowledge that I didn't betray my morals in order to "get ahead".
Not to mention, my life isn't over yet. I have other decades to earn wealth. I've always known this. I prioritized having children in my 20s and 30s and postponing my career potential
intentionally. In the future, older children means less childcare demand and I can go get traditional employment if my book or patent are total flops.
Doesn't look like your public schools are working in the US here anyhow huh? Everyone relying on them is now on the verge of financial collapse.
You called me a "single mother" but I'm guessing what you meant is that he married me
as a single mother. In Goy culture men try to demean, harass, discriminate against, and belittle single mothers in order to preserve their patriarchal worldview. Marshall -- fortunately -- does not share this thinking. For one, he's shown me great respect
in treating me as an equal as a woman, because he too had children before he married me. For two, in Israelite culture, a woman who had more children was in a higher stature, because children are blessings, NOT baggage.
Why do Israelites think like this, you ask? Because in Israelite culture a domestic woman was a competent woman. She was experienced in cooking, running a house, managing children, etc. An experienced woman who knows how to run a home is an asset to a man. "
As the sun when it ariseth in the high heaven; so is the beauty of a good wife in the ordering of her house" (Eccl. 26:16). Notice that Proverbs 31 is focused on an industrious homemaker. It's not glorifying a barren childless woman.
Is it more ideal that two people begin life as virgins and life happily ever after in Monogamy? SURE. But Marshall and I were not raised by Torah parents and had to learn our way through relationships and then found each other. I'm glad he has enough intelligence and respect to give me the same
equality as a woman in accepting my past as I accepted his.
In the ancient world (and Marshall has an "ancient paths" mentality) children were seen as
assets. The more children, the better, because they provided domestic labor. Children were not a burden. If we finally get our farm one day, the children I brought into our marriage double as assets.
In modern Goy culture, men idolize barren, childless women. They don't have farms so they don't see children as assets. They often see women only through their sexuality and body image. They claim to be "pro-life" but they shame women who have given birth outside of their patriarchal structures. They will give preference to marrying a woman who has had abortions and used birth control instead of a woman who did the more righteous thing and didn't abort her children. They have all these myths about women's vaginas being loose from multiple children. "Hot dog down a hallway", "hot dog in a mailbox", blah blah blah. A total myth.
Marshall just isn't that type of guy that falls prey to that type of idiocracy and misogyny. He can see past the bullshit of Goy culture.
PRAISE YHWH
So if you are asking me what I
really think of Marshall's view of me, and if I agree with your assessment, the answer is a resounding "NO!"
