Vid 1: Lost Consciousness + Worst Pain in a Life Time
(please remember that a few months ago Sarah-Jean claimed that her cluster migraines that weren't really cluster migraines are so painful she can do nothing but hyperventilate and scream until they're over)
-Video opens on a Blair Witch style shot of SJ in bed in the dark. She's making a video about a horrible incident she suffered, for her doctors but also her loyal viewers.
-She was having a dream about shopping, she felt like she got punched in the face in her dream.
-In her dream she had to go to the bathroom immediately and then she woke up realizing she was going to shit herself.
-The pain was worse than anything she has ever ever had. More painful than her hysterectomy or knee surgeries (presumably she got pain meds for these) or any IBS attack or period cramps she's ever had.
-felt like the worst period pain but she can't get a period anymore, cried, was
scared for her life but that was not the least of it. She went to the bathroom and thought she was "losing her life" as her "whole world flipped upside down". Over a cramp. She farted and it hurt so bad she screamed.
-After that she had a cramping pain "just barely inside the vagina-hole"
-Vagina pain faded, so did butthole pain, then her eye-vision was fading (as opposed to her ear vision) and everything went dark
-Then admits she cannot actually remember where the pain was because the memory of this awful event is fading away as if it was a dream. But it definitely wasn't a dream. It was REAL! She just can't remember what actually happened or where she hurt.
-Dripping sweat, she passed out, 100% lost consciousness and fell forward onto the bathroom floor
-
And then she pooped herself on the floor.
-Pain was a 25/10, there was no such thing as the 1-10 pain scale anymore.
-Had a panic attack while sitting in a puddle of her own shit
-Felt cold, knew it was almost over, but kept crying because she was scared her dad wouldn't find her in time. She is still operating under the belief that this poopy-cramp was almost the death of her.
-Got up and realized she wasn't done, more pain and cramps, another panic attack
-Got out of the bathroom with a wet cloth, got to the hallway and fell down again, no way she could walk, so she laid in the hallway for 10 minutes
-most terrifying moment she's ever had in or out of the bathroom (yes she specified location)
-Don't worry, she cleaned herself. That she has to specify this, too, is a little alarming.
-can't get back to sleep, hope she never experiences this ever again
-Not sure if she should see the doctor or go to the ER. Acknowledges the Covid-19 virus is more important than her poopy emergency.
-Wishes she had recorded her poopy accident so you could see the terror and pain on her face; she almost made herself get her phone to record for posterity
-I'm pretty sure she just said it was August. Just in case you thought she couldn't get stupider.
she specifies that this video's thumbnail is a recreation of what happened, so scroll back up and laugh at her face down ass up munchie tumble.
VID 2: Hospital Visit + Gastroenterology
-Same day as the last video.
-Despite acknowledging her poopy issue was not an emergency on par with Covid-19, video starts with her driving into the hospital parking lot
-VogMask hanging from her ear.
-Says her home care nurse has been telling her she needs to be seen at the ER for weeks. Uhm. If she's been saying it for weeks it's not an emergency. I'm gonna guess SJ kept bombarding the nurse with claims of extreme pain and extreme ____ problems and the nurse said "if it's that bad go to the ER"
-Other than to have her IV replaced she has not been to the ER in a year, she hates being here. (This would be why even a vog mask cannot conceal the smug smile she has on in her ER selfie) Hates being here because they always tell her she's not as sick as she thinks.
-Acknowledges the ER cannot do anything for her because her chronic problems are not an emergency, but she goes because they are faster than seeing a specialist
-films herself walking into the ER, waiting room is empty so at least she's not filming sick people without their knowledge this time. Obvious from angles she's trying to hide that she's recording with her phone.
-Conversation with nurse while being wheeled to an exam room about how she fainted and pooped herself
-Tells people not to come to the ER unless it's an emergency because of the outbreak. Insists that pulse ox and BP cuff indicate this is indeed an emergency
-Didn't realize how weak she was until she got up to walk, she's still very shaky.
-Doctor tells her to fuck off, nothing's wrong. Probs a vasovagal syncope episode Doc knows she has neurocardiogenic syncope which is "very similar." No, dipshit,
it's literally the same thing.
-Mean doctor cannot tell her why she had a cramp and then had diarrhea. Running bloodwork.
-Films heart monitor beeping, phlebotomist taking blood. Complains about her bad veins. Gunning for a port still, I see.
-Slow pan on ER bed for no reason other than medical fetishizing.
-Headed home, feels better but tired and weak.
-Headed to an appointment for a gastroenterologist. Because she already had a fucking gastro appointment booked for two weeks from now. The hospital called and got her appointment moved up to now.
-Vlogs while driving, as per usual
-The standard munchie ER excuse: her test results are all skyrocketed off the charts but she's too complex for them
-Ate a salad. Exactly what someone having awful GI issues should eat.
-Cut to MNGI Digestive Health lobby. Their website is encouraging people to cancel procedures and do phone appointments because of Covid-19 but fuck everyone else's safety, Disease Vector SJ is going from the ER to this clinic in exactly the same outfit.
-slow pan down an anatomical poster of the digestive system
-Many many hours later, she is home. It's now 5 pm which is technically still the same day. No it's
actually the same day.
-Talked about how she didn't want to expose herself or go to the hospital during the pandemic because 'hospitals make you feel good but they also make you sick because sick people go there." Didn't want to bother anyone during Covid-19. Got a comment about how she shouldn't go into the hospital.
(comments are off but lol of course I took a screenshot before then)
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-she appreciated the comment and it made her take a step back, since she thinks it's a huge emergency but the hospital might not. Calls hospital to explain and ask if she should come in, whoever she talked to told her to come in.
-Describes the Covid-19 prevention protocols at the hospital, including huge signs that say do not enter if you have or have been exposed to Covid-19.
-The medics stationed in the lobby to prevent covid-19 test-seekers from entering let her in so obviously it was a real emergency
-Did some kind of reflex test that she specifies you cannot fake.
-Bloodwork is fine (what happened to tests skyrocketed?), referred to a gastro. Fainting was because of the pain.
-Gastro says it's IBS, which she's already diagnosed with. Increases whatever medication she takes for IBS. Gastro believes her colon was stretching? Or contracting? And because she has IBS it's worse for her because her whole intestine stretches out, not just her colon, when she has to poop. ...Sure. If meds don't work she will get referred to FMDC clinic which is apparently motility but she keeps calling it mobility and doesn't know what the other letters stand for. (Everyone knows she's going to complain about poopy problems for the next few weeks because she wants that referral right?)
-Got hate comments on her instagram because someone on IFGW
caught her lying about whether or not she had her phone in the bathroom. Explains how she went to the bathroom several times. Sick of the hate, she's too grown for us and we should be ashamed of ourselves hiding behind our screens.
