The Mysterious Mr. Enter / Jonathan Rozanski's "Growing Around" - IndieGoGo Campaign Failed, John going off the deep end, "Turning Red" is ignorant about 9/11 (later retracted)

[José Mourinho]

First time I watched any Enter content in a while, and it's just me being curious about the Family Guy part, and boy oh boy...

Spoiler: Time for ranting, I'm gonna keep it as brief as possible

1. When was Meg Griffin ever a daddy's girl? Enter likely only remembered a few episodes in which there were some heartwarming scenes here and there and thought it was like The Simpsons. Meg Griffin was always the laughing stock of the whole series ever since from the start, difference being that current seasons take it to a generic stereotyped exeggerated level.

2. "Scenes they pull out from a hat" (Scene shows Peter Griffin throwing a boomerang by himself). That's the main fucking point of Family Guy in regards to cutaways for fuck's sake ever since from the beginning.

3. "Seth Macfarlane thinks you're a moron" (about the Brian Griffin being dead) Well if you genuinely think Brian actually died without actually thinking of the possibility they are doing it for ratings, I think Seth is right on this one. The funniest part is that Enter even acknowledges that it's a marketing stunt but still rants about why Seth thinks he's an idiot.

4. "Ever since Brian Griffin died, and brought to life, he was an asshole etc. such as how he gave Stewie herpes" Forgetting that Brian was always an asshole and modern episodes even take that to an exeggerated stereotype level (cue the scene where Quagmire rants why he hates Brian, and funnily enough Enter even puts it in the video)

5. I have my gripes about any shows repeating the same joke in every episode to try and make it funny (South Park, Simpsons, Family Guy too) but seeing how Enter ranting as if how Family Guy never once repeated the same joke in every episode is just stupid. (Petercopter, Chicken Fight to name a few) I like how he brings up Peter tripping as an example even though the gag is actually not even repeated that much.

6. Quagmire being a rapist or having sex with someone underaged.. at this point I'm convinced he doesn't even watch that much of Family Guy and thus he doesn't deserve to rant about a show he doesn't even know much about, oh wait he rants about two episodes back to back for the most part just confirms it.

Then there's the obligatory parts about Seth not even working on Family Guy anymore which is already posted here. But I find it funny how he implied Simpsons isn't on the list because they had the tendency to stay quiet unlike Family Guy even though Simpsons already was on controversy for the Trump skits (not as episodes but rather the ones on YouTube)

To his credit, he did rant alright about what was wrong about modern Family Guy like the cutaways or bad attempts at humor, but the rest of the video is just pure wince. I would like to see what happens if Enter gets shown a modern South Park episode or any episode from Pop Team Epic (which would fit the same gripes he has with modern Family Guy) and see how much he rants about them.

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

Sorry for not having the next draft of the op ready on friday as promised. The weekend was pretty hectic with dealing with family stuff thanks to the corona virus and getting all set up for that. I'll work on it over this week and try not to make repeatedly missing deadlines a habbit even if they are self imposed ones

 

[scathefire]

These ones in particular are really good... it's shocking how much better they can look when illustrated by an artist who's competent and under no personal direction by Enter

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Behold! The not very sacred texts!

The back cover is formatted kinda badly.

"Where the people are Growing Around" What does that even mean? I always thought the title was a play on 'Kidding around', but I guess not. Also, the sentence doesn't end with a period. Bad sign when you're not using punctuation correctly even on the cover.

In a few of the streams and reviews I've seen of this, people have wondered about the fact there's credit given to an "illustrator" on the cover, yet the Kindle version has no illustrations. A lot of folks assumed that the illustrations must just be in the print version. I can confirm now that they are not. The only illustration is the one on the front cover. Even the title page is just plain text. He didn't use the logo or anything:

All text within the book is double spaced, I guess in order to artificially increase the page count in a manner similar to Gloria Tesch's Maradonia series.

Here's the first two chapters. I'll make a PDF once all chapters have been scanned. (Aside: Can PDFs be uploaded directly to the Farms or will I need to make a Scribd or MegaUpload account?)

Spoiler

 

[Sussy Baka Desu?]

All they had to do was look up "book cover back" on Google and find examples. Generally, there is an image on the back of the author and a short blurb about them with possible quotes from the book and a premise summary. In their case, a children's book would normally have an illustration with appropriately sized text like this.

EDIT: What the fuck was wrong with them? There was no love or care put into this shit.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

Behold! The not very sacred texts!
View attachment 1199717
The back cover is formatted kinda badly.
View attachment 1199721
"Where the people are Growing Around" What does that even mean? I always thought the title was a play on 'Kidding around', but I guess not. Also, the sentence doesn't end with a period. Bad sign when you're not using punctuation correctly even on the cover.

In a few of the streams and reviews I've seen of this, people have wondered about the fact there's credit given to an "illustrator" on the cover, yet the Kindle version has no illustrations. A lot of folks assumed that the illustrations must just be in the print version. I can confirm now that they are not. The only illustration is the one on the front cover. Even the title page is just plain text. He didn't use the logo or anything:
View attachment 1199722
All text within the book is double spaced, I guess in order to artificially increase the page count in a manner similar to Gloria Tesch's Maradonia series.

Here's the first two chapters. I'll make a PDF once all chapters have been scanned. (Aside: Can PDFs be uploaded directly to the Farms or will I need to make a Scribd or MegaUpload account?)

Spoiler

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Hey, nice work! I’m hoping that these scans should be good enough to get a proper OCR conversion done once the final PDF is ready, so we can finally have this abomination in proper text form rather than a series of images.

Also, shoutout to that awkward missing period at the end of the back cover description making the whole thing look all the worse.

Edit: “makes sure respects”

He actually tried to sell this for money and couldn’t even bother to proofread the back cover.

 

[LiquidKid]

Behold! The not very sacred texts!
View attachment 1199717
The back cover is formatted kinda badly.
View attachment 1199721
"Where the people are Growing Around" What does that even mean? I always thought the title was a play on 'Kidding around', but I guess not. Also, the sentence doesn't end with a period. Bad sign when you're not using punctuation correctly even on the cover.

In a few of the streams and reviews I've seen of this, people have wondered about the fact there's credit given to an "illustrator" on the cover, yet the Kindle version has no illustrations. A lot of folks assumed that the illustrations must just be in the print version. I can confirm now that they are not. The only illustration is the one on the front cover. Even the title page is just plain text. He didn't use the logo or anything:
View attachment 1199722
All text within the book is double spaced, I guess in order to artificially increase the page count in a manner similar to Gloria Tesch's Maradonia series.

Here's the first two chapters. I'll make a PDF once all chapters have been scanned. (Aside: Can PDFs be uploaded directly to the Farms or will I need to make a Scribd or MegaUpload account?)

Spoiler

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God damn, the book is significantly uglier than I imagined it would be. Still, major GG for getting it. I’ll work with you to format it into a proper PDF when I have some free time.

All they had to do was look up "book cover back" on Google and find examples. Generally, there is an image on the back of the author and a short blurb about them with possible quotes from the book and a premise summary. In their case, a children's book would normally have an illustration with appropriately sized text like this.

View attachment 1199790

EDIT: What the fuck was wrong with them? There was no love or care put into this shit.

Let’s be real, a photo of John in the back of the book would only serve to terrify children, even he’s smart enough to know that.
The biggest issue I have with the cover, as I mentioned like 100 pages ago or something, is that it doesn’t tell us anything. Sally is in front of a blanket background under a spot light. Is she a ballerina? Is she lost in purgatory? The Harry Potter cover is literally a scene from the book, Harry boarding the train. It also happens to be among the most iconic moments of the first book, to the point that tourists crowd the actual train stop irl.

 

[The Last Stand]

Did Enter ever want to pursue an animation degree for college? I feel his gripes towards cartoons and his half effort attempt of a GOOD cartoon series is an adult trying to pursue his dreams but he's too stubborn to face facts.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Did Enter ever want to pursue an animation degree for college?

He refused to go to college due to 1) the idea of getting a degree for one thing only to end up in a completely different career field disturbs him and 2) he is intensely afraid of getting raped at college.

 

[The Last Stand]

2) he is intensely afraid of getting raped at college.

That explains the crossdressing shtick.

 

[Brit Crust]

He refused to go to college due to 1) the idea of getting a degree for one thing only to end up in a completely different career field disturbs him and 2) he is intensely afraid of getting raped at college.

Like anyone would ever want to rape a nearly-30-year-old slovenly manlet with nasty dental hygiene on college campus.

(That part about his fear of getting raped is news to me. I must've missed that bit.)

 

[LiquidKid]

Like anyone would ever want to rape a nearly-30-year-old slovenly manlet with nasty dental hygiene on college campus.

(That part about his fear of getting raped is news to me. I must've missed that bit.)

If you’re on crack, easy ass is easy ass. He looks like a fellow crack head, and he ain’t putting up a fight

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Also, shoutout to that awkward missing period at the end of the back cover description making the whole thing look all the worse.

Edit: “makes sure respects”

He actually tried to sell this for money and couldn’t even bother to proofread the back cover.

I'm generally willing to let typos slide in self-published books. It's just expected when you don't have a team of editors combing through the text to weed them all out. But, multiple right on the cover itself is inexcusable in any context. If there's one thing you should be making sure is perfect, it's the thing you use to sell the book.

Also, I like how his Pokemon stand-in is called "Snatchemon" which sounds vaguely perverted. And he couldn't come up with anything more creative than "Magiderp" to replace Magikarp.

Chapter three should be up some time tomorrow.

 

[Corsola]

I'm late as usual, but I just listened to his Top 10 Worst of the 2010s video, and what really stands out to me is the Butch Hartman/Seth McFarlane rage. I know there was a discusion about this a few pages back, but just wanted to add my 2 cents. I like how defensive he gets about Hartman in particular saying that thing along the lines of "if you just sit at home not doing anything, you shouldnt criticize people who actually make stuff". On one hand, yeah Butch does come off as cocky and saying you're above criticism is pretty shitty, but I kind of see what he means. But most importantly, that fits Enter like a fucking glove and its easy to see how deeply that gets under Entard's skin. Even Butch's worst show will at least make it to air and finish a season. GA will never achieve that, ever. The absolute best case scenario for GA is to become a low budget Youtube series, and even that is highly unlikely. I doubt we will ever see a finished 22 mimute episode of Growing Around. Even a short doesnt seem likely. And on some level I think Enter knows that. Even if Butch is making shit, he's making something. People will remember Butch and Fairly Oddparents, or McFarlane and Family Guy. Enter will be known for being a NEET who screeches over cartoons, and nothing more. Not defending Hartman cause he seems like a bit of a tard himself sometimes and arrogance is never a good look, but he's a cocky over making 2 widely remembered and cherished network cartoons. Enter is cocky because... he makes Youtube videos saying he has good taste and is unemployed.

I keep editing this because I keep having new thoughts to add, but my area of autism is mostly video games, and Hideki Kamiya kind of reminds me of Butch. He's cocky and I think he's fucking annoying, but I know I couldn't make a better game than him sitting in bedroom financed by NEETbux and Kickstarter. Even with a full budget and equipment there's a 99.999999999% chance I couldnt do it. That would be stupid, even if he's a dickhead he has experience, money, and talent. This is what Enter coming at Hartman and McFarlane feels like to me.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Chapter Three:

Spoiler

 

[Chilson]

Chapter Three:

Spoiler

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his third chapter is only 18 double spaced pages (that also looks like a larger font than normal books with larger border page layout, but i can't really tell). Jesus Christ did no one actually give a shit when making this garbage.

 

[LiquidKid]

his third chapter is only 18 double spaced pages (that also looks like a larger font than normal books with larger border page layout, but i can't really tell). Jesus Christ did no one actually give a shit when making this garbage.

Let’s not forget all dialog is center aligned for literally no reason other than John can’t read a normally formatted book.
Why was this first person again? The audience he’s aiming for would have preferred third person

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Let’s not forget all dialog is center aligned for literally no reason other than John can’t read a normally formatted book.
Why was this first person again? The audience he’s aiming for would have preferred third person

His reasoning for writing it in Sally’s first person POV was literally because he thinks it gives him an excuse to not explain anything because Sally wouldn’t question why the world is how it is since she’s a child.

This is, of course, total horseshit because children are constantly asking questions about how the world works IRL If he actually did do "a lot of research on child psychology" for this, he would know that. And he would also be able to make Sally's narration sound like a child's voice in the book. Because it really just doesn't. Her internal monologue sounds much, much older than seven, which is how old she's supposed to be. And yet her behavior is like that of a pre-schooler, making what little exists for her character very inconsistent.

I'd suggest Enter read some books from the perspective of elementary school aged girls. The Junie B Jones and Ramona Quimby series are two that I have fond memories of, and the protagonists actually behave and speak like kids. Junie B books are literally written as if a little kid is telling you about what she did that day, which is what Enter is trying to accomplish here.

 

[LiquidKid]

His reasoning for writing it in Sally’s first person POV was literally because he thinks it gives him an excuse to not explain anything because Sally wouldn’t question why the world is how it is since she’s a child.
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This is, of course, total horseshit because children are constantly asking questions about how the world works IRL If he actually did do "a lot of research on child psychology" for this, he would know that. And he would also be able to make Sally's narration sound like a child's voice in the book. Because it really just doesn't. Her internal monologue sounds much, much older than seven, which is how old she's supposed to be. And yet her behavior is like that of a pre-schooler, making what little exists for her character very inconsistent.

I'd suggest Enter read some books from the perspective of elementary school aged girls. The Junie B Jones and Ramona Quimby series are two that I have fond memories of, and the protagonists actually behave and speak like kids. Junie B books are literally written as if a little kid is telling you about what she did that day, which is what Enter is trying to accomplish here.

Hell, all he works have to do was read catcher in the rye and dumb Holden’s dialog down if he wanted to be “young but smart”

 

[SpergPatrol]

Chapter Three:

Spoiler

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My god they didn't proofread this for shit
"I pulled a string hanging next to the window and two large fern leaves curtained it," sounds like someone having a mild stroke trying to speak.
It genuinely took my a minute to figure out what that sentence was trying to describe due to how confusing the language is.
I thought due to how it was worded it he actually meant like leaves fell down from the window, not that they were fern window curtains covering the window.

Here a quick fix to the sentence to make it flow better "I pulled on the string and two fern leave window covers swiftly removed the sun from view."
Like your trying to engage someone with the scene and give description of the setting especially for a story like this, you need to trim the fatty language because it makes the scene boring and less vivid to the reader. He needs to cut a lot of this down and put snapper language in it especially if it is a scene describing a kid.
Kids like to get to the point and this story just slogs on in a way that even adults would find boring to read and sit through.

From this chapter alone he has already made basic writing mistakes they would have taught people in literal elementary school how to fix the problem he is having with past and present tense language.
How it is currently written is describing all actions until that point as past tense,but then it is suddenly present tense in some parts ruining the flow an tone of the scene.
It really doesn't help there are sentence fragments everywhere causing the story to stop and start so often it gives tonal whiplash to the scene by causing it to come to a grinding halt.
There is no consistent pacing with this story so it is hard to get a proper grasp on what tone he is even going for in a scene.

I commend him for writing a book, but all he did was prove that literally anyone can get a book published because is what you would see from a college essay trying to pad out the essay to hit the word limit on a project. It does not try to be engaging, it feels like genuinely he was just trying to fill out a page because he didn't know how to write for the rest of the scene.