Introducing the New 'New Warriors' - The classic team reunites to mentor a new generation of heroes!

[Francis York Morgan]

It's pretty easy to kill the new warriors:

Just misgender them. They are going to 41% themselves.

Or just have them go against even a semi-competent villain. Since it's already been brought up, what would this group do if they went up against Nitro like the New Warriors that instigated the Civil War?

Then again, all these teen heroes Marvel has shoved out over the last ten years have that same believability problem. You don't buy that Kamala Khan has the mental or emotional fortitude to stand up against, say, Norman Osborne. These kids are never challenged or put through the ringer like Peter Parker was at their age and so nothing they do carries any weight.

 

[Skin and Bones]

I'd feel sorry for any supervillain that faces them. You'd either have to beat up a bunch of annoying teenagers or they somehow manage to win against you. Either way none of your villain buddies in prison are going to be impressed.

 

[XYZpdq]

just letting you know this is so gay and last week that Seb Gorka is talking about it

 

[Marissa Moira]

Fuck you Marvel, Children of the Atom is a great game released by Capcom in the 90s.

...

Capcom was fuego in the 90s: Marvel Super Heroes, Marvel vs Capcom, Children of the Atom...

I got the Japanese saturn ports which are arcade accurate(stuff like X-Men vs Streetfighter needs the Memory cart though, but an Action Replay device will do), between those and the two Saturn Darkstalker games it's worth investing in a Japanese sega saturn.

I have MVC 1 and 2 on Dreamcast and the PS2 port of MVC2 just because.

 

[UptownRuckus]

AM I the only one who wants to buy this just so I can get my laughs in after all other forms of media are sensored and the only way to get laughs is through laughing at shit like this?

 

[Analog Devolved]

AM I the only one who wants to buy this just so I can get my laughs in after all other forms of media are sensored and the only way to get laughs is through laughing at shit like this?

Good luck buying a copy, diamond is shut down and most LCS's are closed due to the wu-flu. Either way it's a waste of 4 bucks and you won't get any laughs.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

“Only we decide who gets to live again!”

Also characters dying and coming back to life is apparently a major plotline now.

 

[UptownRuckus]

Good luck buying a copy, diamond is shut down and most LCS's are closed due to the wu-flu. Either way it's a waste of 4 bucks and you won't get any laughs.

That's too bad. I wanted to keep a relic of the thing that shit down the comic book stores.

 

[A Grey Cat]

The writer, Daniel Kibblesmith, looks like this. That's all you really need to see to know everything about this comic.

View attachment 1194343

EDIT:

He's also the author behind this affront to God.
View attachment 1194345

Santa is the black one, btw...

Daniel kibbles and bits was the kid in the 90s who wasn't allowed to watch Nickelodeon, Batman tas, the X-Men cartoon, play Mk or resident evil or eat sugar cereal. His over protective mom made him eat kix and watch PBS kids and packed fruit and rice cakes in his lunchbox. Oh and the other kids wedgied and wet willied him to no end in the playground.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

View attachment 1196764

WHO DREW THIS?!

View attachment 1196767

WHO GOT THIS PUT IN A MARVEL COMIC?!

HE LOOKS LIKE A CARICATURE OF MULTIPLE ETHNICITIES AT THE SAME TIME

A FRIGGIN COMBO CARICATURE

HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?!

This wouldn't look out of place in one of those Looney Tunes cartoons from the 40's.

AM I the only one who wants to buy this just so I can get my laughs in after all other forms of media are sensored and the only way to get laughs is through laughing at shit like this?

No need to buy. Some kind soul will upload the scans.

 

[Parthenos]

Daniel kibbles and bits was the kid in the 90s who wasn't allowed to watch Nickelodeon, Batman tas, the X-Men cartoon, play Mk or resident evil or eat sugar cereal. His over protective mom made him eat kix and watch PBS kids and packed fruit and rice cakes in his lunchbox. Oh and the other kids wedgied and wet willied him to no end in the playground.

I take exception to shitting on 90s PBS. Our family didn't have cable but Arthur was still good back then.
The rest is accurate, though, especially since Kix is kosher.

Spoiler: You should know by now...

Every time. I friggin' swear.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I take exception to shitting on 90s PBS. I was poor but Arthur was still good back then.
The rest is accurate, though, especially since Kix is kosher.

Spoiler: You should know by now...

View attachment 1200595
Every time. I friggin' swear.

Eh fair enough but for every afternoon I spent with Arthur the gross out of ren and stimpy or the kick ass action of the Spiderman animated series (as kick ass as it could be back then at least) was just a click of the remote away. Still people who only had PBS for reasons like yours have my condolences.

The thing is I'm fairly certain that's all Little kibbles and bits got to watch on TV even though his jevv parents probably could have sprung for a VCR and those orange tapes if they didn't wanna pay cable bills. They were one of those parents you saw on shows back then who protested cartoons saying they rot kid's brains, think early Marge Simpson or Shelia broflowski

 

[Neurotic Loser]

To be honest screentime has potential to be a rather interesting character. All they have to do is: make his power automatic, i.e. he has no control what he searches; make the power have no off switch (aka even when he is trying to sleep he sees the internet); make it so he sees extreme shit constantly (like mutilation, porn, guro, propaganda etc) and; write him as a character who has PTSD because of it.
However, I doubt the writers would do that as they seem to be out of touch hacks who probably think sites like this one are extreme right-wing "propaganda". Also giving such a complex story to a acharacter who seems to be an after thought would remove attention from the two token inclusive incest twins. At besr he'll say some "alt-right" things for the brave and stunning NB (or the sassy black lesbian) to shut down.

 

[Borax Bozo]

Also characters dying and coming back to life is apparently a major plotline now.

If this is the one I saw the preview pages of, it actually seemed kinda interesting. All the ex-mutants depowered by Scarlet Witch have the possibility of getting their powers back - but they have to die and get resurrected in a questionable process first. That, and they have to swear themselves to mutant-first ethnonationalism ... led by Apocalypse IIRC.
That, and the process can theoretically change existing powers to remove downsides, or even swap power sets and appearances, and there's a fundamental question of whether what's coming back is really the 'same' as who died...

There's a lot there that can make for interesting storytelling.
Then you have this bizarro Tumblr nonsense coming from the same company.

To be honest screentime has potential to be a rather interesting character. All they have to do is: make his power automatic, i.e. he has no control what he searches; make the power have no off switch (aka even when he is trying to sleep he sees the internet); make it so he sees extreme shit constantly (like mutilation, porn, guro, propaganda etc) and; write him as a character who has PTSD because of it.

That'd actually be an interesting take on the "telepath who can't turn it off" idea.
Ex Machina had a similar scenario with its technopath main character, who had to have a bare basement in his office so he had a place to think.

 

[RandallBoggs]

Holy shit this has to be the most laughable NB representation I've ever seen.
First of all, there's 0 ambiguity about what gender Snowflake is, it's obviously a woman. How can you design a character that's obviously a specific sex and expect people to understand it's supposed to be NB.
Second, Safespace is pink and Snowflake is blue because "defying gendered colors", implying Snowflake IS in fact a woman since she is the one wearing blue instead. That literally goes against what NB is.
Third, HER NAME IS FUCKING SNOWFLAKE, MAN.
How did they expect this shit would fly among the NB community? Oh wait, that's right, they couldn't have known better since they're all white straight boomers with no self awareness. I never thought I'd step on the SJW line but you fucking broke me Marvel.

 

[Anti pedo]

Yknow what after all this marvel nonsense im going back reading spawn and hell boy comics and stick with those til i die

and holy shit can these people in marvel and dc just hire people from artstation hell even people on deviantart draws better than these people shit out, the problem with marvel and dc they hired people on social media instead of people on an actual art site where their portfolio is i swear these people who work on "new" new wariors does not have portfolio at all

yknow what we need a comic book equivalent of gorrillaz instead of make fun of music industries they make fun of comics industries imagine the shitstorm it would make

 

[Monolith]

[oh god how do i delete doubleposts]

Click the delete button.

 

[Brutalist]

Did you think it was done? Because it’s fucking not!

It's funny, the "kid version of an old beloved character" concept has been tried so many times, and overwhelmingly results in a botched mess the writers disown after a month. The last one I can recall in recent memory was the Kombat Kids, and it wasn't much of a success.

My personal take on why it fails so often is that novelty is a nearly indispensable component in the making of a good character. If the niche your up-and-comer occupies is already filled by an established, well liked icon, you're setting him up for obscurity. Not to say that it's impossible, Supergirl is still around, but it takes some serious writing chops to make robin #1, #2 and #3 distinct and interesting enough to make people know their names offhand. That level of talent clearly isn't present here.

From what we've seen so far, the new kid's powers are identical to their assigned superhero's, and their costumes are similar. Nothing about them stands out. Now I'm sure they have lovingly written backstories about dabbing and #flippingtheswitch, but somehow I doubt that'll make up for the complete lack of visual distinctiveness.
I just don't understand, you could throw a rock and hit a talented comic artist in this era. Hell, you can find webcomic authors that would write circles around this drivel. How did Marvel allow themselves to fall this low?

 

[Antipathy]

I'd feel sorry for any supervillain that faces them. You'd either have to beat up a bunch of annoying teenagers or they somehow manage to win against you. Either way none of your villain buddies in prison are going to be impressed.

Listen, this is SJWs writing. It's gonna be another Rey from Soy Wars.
SJWs write Mary Sues, even worse than Chris Chan does. At least Chris made his characters lose something temporarily every now and then, but with this sort of mouthbreathing Tumblr-tier 'author' at the helm, the protagonists will never fail at a single task, ever, and the only personality traits they will display will be selfishness, stupidity, and shortsightedness that only nets them praise and success.

If some dangerhair picks up a pen, nothing good ever comes of it. Ever.

 

[I'm Mrs. Mustachios!]

To be honest screentime has potential to be a rather interesting character. All they have to do is: make his power automatic, i.e. he has no control what he searches; make the power have no off switch (aka even when he is trying to sleep he sees the internet); make it so he sees extreme shit constantly (like mutilation, porn, guro, propaganda etc) and; write him as a character who has PTSD because of it.

If anyone finds this sort of idea interesting, Parahumans is fantastic and full of horrible "superpowers" and PTSD. Strong woman protag. Plenty of characters that check the social justice boxes too, but actually written with the personalities of real human beings instead of cardboard cutout political tokens. It kind of drives me bonkers that a writer this good works for Patreon donations while corporate writers crap out...this shit. OTOH, maybe working alone is where the freedom to not write dreck comes from.