Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Creep3r]

So Marvel decided to start a whole new comic run based entirely around an old EU character from the 80s comics, Beilert Valance, the cyborg bounty hunter who escaped the Empire's ranks. This is the first Disney media to focus entirely around an old character that's not a donut steal version of them, which is odd, and they obviously take more creatively liberties to make it sequel friendly, like throwing in a lot of references to sequel shit like TLJ and Solo and sequel aliens like the Aboneedo things, also Aphra because why not I guess (gotta make sure to remind the readers that they're BBQ friendly despite that Aphra is an obnoxious reddit-meme spewing cunt). Its called Bounty Hunters. It also forces in Boba and Bossk to try and raise interest because the writers didn't think this character wasn't enough to sell by himself, and they're right since he's better known as a villain. And they probably want Aphra's chucklefucks to buy this shit too.

It doesn't seem to be attracting a lot of attention from Disney drones due to being based on an old IP, and old-only fans aren't talking about it much due to being mixed with new shit and Aphra. The only Disney drones attracted to it right now are Aphra waifufags due to her being part of this shit. Corona isn't helping it much either.

Its un-engaging from what I understand. Only positive thing I can say about it is that the art is nice, but the artist doesn't seem to put much though into why things look the way they do. Look at this shit.

The character is doing a generic "super speed" anime slash pose, you know the one where a character swings their sword and then all of a sudden they teleport behind their targets and get slashed up, but here she's shooting them with her gun and then just does a superspeed anime slash despite already gunning them down, and how she even does this makes no sense without using anime logic. She's not even a jedi. And she cuts all of them at once with her tiny bayonet blade somehow. The art ranges from decent to "sloppy sketches that barely form shapes". Like they just draw a bunch of black lines and then pour ink over it. Its fast and cheap, as expected from Marvel.

Also the preview for the third issue of this comic implies they'll kill off Bossk possibly as a cheap sales gimmick attempt at boosting sales, but he won't actually die here because according to Disney shit, Bossk is already dead, having died on Jabba's barge in ROTJ because fuck it. Also Aphra might as well be as omnipresent as that Hondo pirate considering that she pops up in everything too. Honestly the presence of Aphra and the Abo thing alone is cringe enducing.

 

[Safir]

The Vong is Islamic? How?

Disparate effect and semantic sleight of hand. There are no Christian theocracies (not counting the Vatican because you don't have to live there), so any modern criticism of theocracy in general is criticism of the theocracies which actually exist. Second, "anti-Islamic" as a conflation of "this has a negative effect on Islam" and "this is an illegal and deplorable infringement of Muslims' human rights".

 

[Flexo]

Or they could of just lifted the Thrawn trilogy wholesale and not do what they did with the ST.
Besides it was kinda to late to introduce him into the ST since TFA came out in 2015 and Thrawn wasn't re canonized until the 3rd season of rebels in 2016. If they really wanted to add him it would of been in TLJ but then there you would of risked the probably of Johnson using him as another form to subvert our expectations.

I mean ideally sure, but part of the problem is that it had been WAY too long in real life for a straight adaptation of Thrawn. Unless you want them to do that horrible Tarkin youth-a-izing to Mark Hanill for the entire trilogy and we have the problem of Carrie dying before it was finished.

No, we have to admit that there was no way Disney even with the best of intentions was going to be able to give us a Thrawn trilogy and that liberties would have to be taken to make it fit with the options we had in reality.

 

[Notgoodwithusernames]

In more positive news Jedi Academy is apparently coming out on switch today and episode 1 racer is also getting a rerelease. Hopefully this means we’ll see other titles like the KOTOR games, the first 2 dark forces games, the rogue squadron trilogy, the x wing/tie fighter games, classic battlefront, and republic commando get modern console releases

 

[Flexo]

In more positive news Jedi Academy is apparently coming out on switch today and episode 1 racer is also getting a rerelease. Hopefully this means we’ll see other titles like the KOTOR games, the first 2 dark forces games, the rogue squadron trilogy, the x wing/tie fighter games, classic battlefront, and republic commando get modern console releases

Thanks to GoG and Steam we've always had those.

 

[Imperial Citizen]

That’s gotta be some good things about the Disney trilogy guys like, right?

Finn being a renegade stormtrooper, the riot armor of TR-8R, the concept of a casino planet like Canto Bight, that weird squid alien Han and Chewie were smuggling, and the bomber from Last Jedi (even though it was impractical, it’s a nice nod to WW2 with the bombers needing to be escorted)

Disney has a lot of concepts that would be interesting to explore like the Knights of Ren, the Cold War stalemate between the New Republic and the Empire, or Luke being disillusioned about being a Jedi, but they failed because they don’t care enough about the franchise. The executives looked at what they were being told would sell (JJ being attached to “nerdy” reboots, attracting a diverse audience, and big epic fights) and went with that because when you’ve spent $4 billion on an IP, you need to show your investors that you’ll make their money back.

 

[Exceptionally Exceptional]

That’s gotta be some good things about the Disney trilogy guys like, right?

Only good thing I can think of is that it made a lot of people soften on the prequels because for the first time since the Holiday Special we got to see what a REALLY bad Star Wars film looked like.

 

[Übertroon]

Been seeing a lot of videos pop up about Rise of Skywalker recently. Is this because the movie became available for streaming or something?
Personally don't like the ones that try and "fix" the sequel trilogy, seems a bit creatively banktrupt to just copy characters from the disney trilogy and put them in more logical situations. If this shit gets rebooted I better not hear the names Rey or Kylo Ren uttered ever again

 

[XYZpdq]

That’s gotta be some good things about the Disney trilogy guys like, right?

I like that part in Rogue One when Jason kills all the camp counselors

 

[King Dead]

Only good thing I can think of is that it made a lot of people soften on the prequels because for the first time since the Holiday Special we got to see what a REALLY bad Star Wars film looked like.

I said it before, I'll say it again: the sequels as a whole make even the Holiday Special look good. I would rather strap in for an hour and a half of weird late-70's cheese with a vague dusting of Star Wars sprinkled on top than rewatch any of Disney's movies.

I'm trying to think about things I actually enjoyed in Disney Wars, but it's telling that most of what I can think of is things that I enjoy the concept and not the execution. Finn being a runaway stormtrooper: lot of neat things that could have been done, but instead he's sidelined for Marey Sue. Luke having a crisis of faith and becoming a hermit: could have had interesting ramifications on his character, but all it was used for was edgy "sUbvErTeD exPeCtaTiOnS" about how everything you (the audience member) like is shit. Even the twist of Kylo killing Snoke could have been great if Rey had actually decided to go along with him and they led the First Order together. That would have been a real subversion that could have led to some new and unexplored territory in the third movie. But of course our perfect bestest Jedi ever Marey Sue would never do a bad thing ever, so that went nowhere.

The only other thing I genuinely enjoyed is TR8-T0R, and only because it was the only meme-worthy aspect of Disney Wars. Five years of movies, and only one good meme. Embarrassing.

 

[Notgoodwithusernames]

Thanks to GoG and Steam we've always had those.

View attachment 1203851

Thanks to GoG and Steam we've always had those.

View attachment 1203851

I said it before, I'll say it again: the sequels as a whole make even the Holiday Special look good. I would rather strap in for an hour and a half of weird late-70's cheese with a vague dusting of Star Wars sprinkled on top than rewatch any of Disney's movies.

I'm trying to think about things I actually enjoyed in Disney Wars, but it's telling that most of what I can think of is things that I enjoy the concept and not the execution. Finn being a runaway stormtrooper: lot of neat things that could have been done, but instead he's sidelined for Marey Sue. Luke having a crisis of faith and becoming a hermit: could have had interesting ramifications on his character, but all it was used for was edgy "sUbvErTeD exPeCtaTiOnS" about how everything you (the audience member) like is shit. Even the twist of Kylo killing Snoke could have been great if Rey had actually decided to go along with him and they led the First Order together. That would have been a real subversion that could have led to some new and unexplored territory in the third movie. But of course our perfect bestest Jedi ever Marey Sue would never do a bad thing ever, so that went nowhere.

The only other thing I genuinely enjoyed is TR8-T0R, and only because it was the only meme-worthy aspect of Disney Wars. Five years of movies, and only one good meme. Embarrassing.

OK you're so fucking wrong. The ST has plenty of great memes... The same way that The Room, Hunt down the Freeman, and Onision do.

 

[The Fresh Maker]

"Don't think about the product, just consume it."

 

[Gallofag]

View attachment 1204073

"Don't think about the product, just consume it."

He comes off as, "I know more than you so fuck your criticism."

 

[Adamska]

View attachment 1204073

"Don't think about the product, just consume it."

And that Betamax player? Was owned by Albert Einstein. Oh, and the Kenner toys clapped as this drone read wiki articles to pretend to be a fan.

I'm certain he was never a fan if he is spite liking TLJ.

 

[ZMOT]

the concept of a casino planet like Canto Bight
the bomber from Last Jedi (even though it was impractical, it’s a nice nod to WW2 with the bombers needing to be escorted)

except nar shadaa and y-wings exist. even in isolation the first thing was brought down by the hamfisted MUH CAPITALISM message and the latter defies all logic just for effect. there's no point in having a good idea if you don't build on it. like if ruin really wanted to do jerk it to ww2 bombers (which, considering what a fucking soiboi he is is an incredible weird thing to do in the first place), just have the plot require them on a planet instead of breaking the laws of frigging gravity. not to mention y-wings had to be escorted too and star wars spacefights were heavily inspired by ww2 airfights already (as was a lot in the OT in general), so ruin didn't even come up with a novel concept but again tried to rip shit off like the hack he is.
rest is debatable and I'm getting "stop liking what I don't like" ranty already, but iirc renegade stormtrooper is an old pre-jarjar concept, so it's not even really disney.
EDIT because I'm a fucking retard and completely forgot something even predating that - who is kyle katarn?

nuwars is an expensive cake with shit smeared all over it. sure there's something tasty and edible somewhere but who'd really want to?

 

[Übertroon]

View attachment 1204073

"Don't think about the product, just consume it."

People not questioning poor products is what led us into this mess

 

[Imperial Citizen]

except nar shadaa and y-wings exist. even in isolation the first thing was brought down by the hamfisted MUH CAPITALISM message and the latter defies all logic just for effect. there's no point in having a good idea if you don't build on it. like if ruin really wanted to do jerk it to ww2 bombers (which, considering what a fucking soiboi he is is an incredible weird thing to do in the first place), just have the plot require them on a planet instead of breaking the laws of frigging gravity. not to mention y-wings had to be escorted too and star wars spacefights were heavily inspired by ww2 airfights already (as was a lot in the OT in general), so ruin didn't even come up with a novel concept but again tried to rip shit off like the hack he is.
rest is debatable and I'm getting "stop liking what I don't like" ranty already, but iirc renegade stormtrooper is an old pre-jarjar concept, so it's not even really disney.
EDIT because I'm a fucking exceptional individual and completely forgot something even predating that - who is kyle katarn?

nuwars is an expensive cake with shit smeared all over it. sure there's something tasty and edible somewhere but who'd really want to?

I thought Nar Shadaa was just an industrial crime planet and I don’t remember y-wings needing to be escorted. Then again I’m thinking from the video games here so other lore may contradict that.

And Canto Bight was a shitty metaphor for capitalism, but if you told me about a planet in Star Wars that was a resort/casino world with a lot of shady deals going around; I could think of a lot of interesting plots for that planet.

But that’s the problem; we all can think of ten different stories that could go on at Canto Bight, because we know Star Wars and the hacks at Disney don’t.

 

[Creep3r]

So apparently the sequel "cast" is now called Rey & Friends (despite that aside from maybe Finn none of them actually know Rey, also I find this funny since this is what I've been calling these assholes for months) as revealed in a new cartoon released on youtube which also reveals that right before Plan IX, Rey & Friends fought jetpack nutroopers and weren't the least bit surprised by them like in the movie. Its clear the animators are copying the scene from the film with the jet troopers, but did they watch it on mute or something and miss the part where the characters don't know what jet troopers are (which was a retarded scene to begin with)?

Lucasfilm really is more disconnected than ever if they can't even maintain the simplest shred of consistency, although we already know that after pages from Disney's Alien Archive were shared here.

Also a new comic reveals that Rey was taught how to pilot a ship "properly" by Poe which I guess is a retcon to try and show that she's not a skilled mary sue pilot and only piloted the Falcon out of luck I guess because fuck it.

Lastly Wookieepedia removed all the retcons and inconsistencies Plan 9 has from its Continuity section because they thought it was part of a troll campaign to point out the obvious. Even the most obvious ones like Luke's X-Wing suddenly being in working order despite being wrecked in TLJ. The Plan 9 novel goes further into this and "explains" that Rey fixed the wing by using the "door" to Luke's hut to patch it despite not being the case in the movie, and also there's the fact that the door's hut is the "door" to Luke's X-Wing.

So there's no fucking way any of this makes sense yet Wookieepedia removed all of these details and more despite keeping inconsistency notes for other articles, but the Disney shit gets a pass of course because whenever its faults are pointed out then its just the work of trolls apparently.

 

[HandsomeDan]

I thought Nar Shadaa was just an industrial crime planet and I don’t remember y-wings needing to be escorted. Then again I’m thinking from the video games here so other lore may contradict that.

And Canto Bight was a shitty metaphor for capitalism, but if you told me about a planet in Star Wars that was a resort/casino world with a lot of shady deals going around; I could think of a lot of interesting plots for that planet.

But that’s the problem; we all can think of ten different stories that could go on at Canto Bight, because we know Star Wars and the hacks at Disney don’t.

In ANH, the XWings were the escort for the YWings, that's why Gold squadron went into the trench first.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Y-Wings were slightly faster than X-Wings but also were less maneuverable in the OT. SW video games nerfed the Y-Wing by making them much slower while changing their class from strike fighter to strike bomber.

Two massive WWII bomber points Ruin completely missed, were light, medium and heavy bombers had to be fast. Otherwise bombers would be free kills no matter how well armed and/or armored they are against fighters. Interwar period and the Spanish Civil War bringing final confirmation to that.

Second point, when heavy bombers are used to attack shipping like the RAF sinking battleship Tirpitz or USAAF B-17s in the Pacific carried either a huge bomb like Tall Boy or torpedos. Not the same iron bombs use to landscape a city.