Which lolcow would you unironically sex?

[Recoil]

I'd eat emily youcis' ass till it looks like a baby's mouth

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

Nathan Thompson I guess? Very few male lolcows who aren't hideous

 

[Troonos]

Can I make her wear sunglasses? If so, I'd go with Brittany Venti. Her eyes are so far apart that she can see behind her, but her body is nearly perfect. Plus, her edgy alt-right persona is super hot even if I don't agree with it.

Close runner-up is not a lolcow but is lolcow adjacent... Sheepover. The QT3.14 ginger that Mumkey left for a pedophile that looks like a teenage boy. She was super cute and wholesome.

Sex Brittany Venti. Marry Sheepover. Kill Jonathan Yaniv.

 

[JustFuckinaDude]

I’ve always thought Alison Rapp looked like the kind that wanted to be choked and slapped around during sex. Count me in.

 

[babaGAReeb]

your mom

 

[Baguette Child]

Very few male lolcows who aren't hideous

Milo Y isn't too terrible to look at. I'd be willing to bet he knows how to have a decently good time. So I guess that's my answer.

 

[Sun Shihong]

"Hotdogs in the face" girl.

 

[Rafal Gan Ganowicz]

Emily Nauert
Alison Rapp
Shoe
Zoe.

 

[Slimy Time]

I’ve always thought Alison Rapp looked like the kind that wanted to be choked and slapped around during sex. Count me in.

She's the type who will want to peg you in the ass and then get Tyrone around and force you to be fucked by him while she watches. You would be Jake Rapp 2.0.

Would one of Projared's orbiters like his ex wife count? Cute and thinks her ex husband's penis is "huge", so she's probably a tight fit.

 

[Overcast]

Well that one e-girl who got bit by her cat is pretty cute. Probably would bone her, but the fact she abuses said cat is a turn off.

 

[off meds / online]

Well that one e-girl who got bit by her cat is pretty cute. Probably would bone her, but the fact she abuses said cat is a turn off.

you've got no chance unless you're her dog

 

[Overcast]

you've got no chance unless you're her dog

Right, forgot about that. Maybe it's a good thing I don't have a chance.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

I'd probably fuck any twitch e-whore we've written about, blast jizz on their face and steal something expensive while they're asleep from the nuclear fartbox destruction I gave them.
Then I'd unsub and unfollow.

Preferably one of the skinny bitches with real tits.

 

[drtoboggan]

Emily Youcis, preferably in the butt.
Zoe Quinn, definitely in the butt.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

@Mandarys Milan II

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Alinity Divine or Anisa Jomha

 

[Klaptrap]

Alright, I'll admit to putting too much thought into this game of future blackmail roulette. Here goes.

Aydin Paladin - I like her weird face, can't figure out why.
Momo - I just like her fat cow titties tbh.
Zoe - I wanna hatefuck her.
Contra - I wanna Nazi roleplay bdsm hatefuck "her."

Frankly I'm disgusted with myself.

 

[TV's Adam West]

@DocHoliday1977
Nice romantic dinner and love making?

 

[soft kitty]

shoe0nhead.

To be honest...yeah. I would. The problem is that she's short and weird as fuck.

This was the first one that came to mind. She's the only one even remotely smash-able. Actually, I take that back, I would smash Anisa, idubbbz's girlfriend; while Ian watches.

Maybe Alinity, too; she's not half bad looking tbh.

 

[Pinochet Was Right]

shoe0nhead, that waist is entrancing. Fight me.
Pre-crisis Tila Tequila, I did wank it to her pics back then.
Pre-crisis Lindsay Ellis, she had that cute thing back then
Pre-crisis Felicia Day, when she was a glorified booth babe
Pre-Chrisis Laci Green

honorary mention because she had to do (barely) with Channel Autism: Goggles. And I wouldn't stop.

And I'd hit Lupa, with a stick.