Which lolcow would you unironically sex?

[Jester69]

Narcissa Wright. His Cosmo-hole will be ruined and glazed with my Jester-juice. Yes, I said it. There's something about how broken he is that makes me wanna empty my creamy milkie tank in his mentally ill tranny flank.

 

[nekrataal]

Narcissa Wright. His Cosmo-hole will be ruined and glazed with my Jester-juice. Yes, I said it. There's something about how broken he is that makes me wanna empty my creamy milkie tank in his mentally ill tranny flank.

This, I want to gag Cosmo with my dick.

 

[Pineapple Fox]

Emily Rose Nauert

Spoiler: lewd

 

[DatSpicyBoi]

shoe0nhead.

To be honest...yeah. I would. The problem is that she's short and weird as fuck.

Don't think Shoe really qualifies as a lolcow. If I'm being 100 percent honest, probably Natalie Portman. I know she's too famous but her outbursts would more than qualify her. Either that or pre-Chris Ray Gun Laci Green.

 

[Captain Manning]

Does hatefucking count?

I mean, I could maybe think of two or three. All based solely on looks.

 

[Elysian]

If I had to pick one it'd probably be Katie Charm circa 2013 when he was a buff chad bitcoin millionaire named James instead of a crazy tranny LARPing as a 20-something sassy lesbian with a shitty fake black people accent.

 

[mr.moon1488]

Unironically? Shoe on head.

 

[Dimetrodon]

sh0eonhead or maybe Lindsay Ellis. For the latter, though, I'd have to spend about an hour with a douche washing out all the black semen from her fuckhole.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Moviebob. I’ll become his superior wife in the superior future. He says it’s okay so long as I let him use Twitter and bring homemade tendies to bed. He plans to eat the tendies with BBQ sauce off my body.

 

[NoFeline]

LaineyBot, never taken a dick bigger than a baby carrot.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

If I can pick the year? Probably Lindsay Ellis when she was first starting out as the Nostalgia Chick.

 

[Stranger Neighbors]

I take my previous response back. Only one @DocHoliday1977 and only if I get to bring friends

 

[Drive-by punster]

Anita Sarkisian. Mostly because she looks like my mom, but also because I'd love to have the opportunity to refer to her as "Anita Dickinme" as I penetrate her.

 

[Inferior Little Shit]

Jazz Jenning's Mother in about 6-7 years after her possible divorce

 

[Drive-by punster]

View attachment 922820

That lifeless "smile" just makes me want to hatefuck him to death. I'm not even into dudes, but I would GLAZE this motherfucker.

 

[randoarmy]

r0ttingd0ll's/Jessica Soares ex boyfriend tristan.
and before any one asks. yes. i do have terrible taste.

 

[Mr. Ghoul]

I’d have mutual angry animalistic hate sex with Anita. Also I think Blair White is hot as fuck. Not gonna lie.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

PandaLee. She seems like fun, she sassed DSP all the time, and compared to him, anyone would be a step up for her so she'd be up for it. And she's always making soap, so I figure she must bathe more than most lolcows.

As for blokes, Alex Jones and his Super Male Vitality. If he's that wild on his show, he must go fucking mental in the sack

 

[Turd Burglar]

In the looks department for female lolcows, Sh0eonhead for sure. I wasn't sure about male lolcows until @Hongourable Madisha mentioned Alex Jones. I bet he'd be a decent lay because he probably screams weird shit when he comes. I'd do it for the sheer experience.

 

[awoo]

Does Boxxy still count? rawr xd