Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,662
Tess ain’t never going to “finish remodeling house shopping“ ( aka move the fuck out of Jolene’s apt) now. Online ad and “influencer” money has fallen off a fucking cliff and Tess was already on the lowest rung with no rainy day fund.

I bet her $1700 from Trump virus bucks are already owed to Jolene in back rent at this point.
 
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Tess's mega-fupa has gotten so big that not even poses like this and the bush-humping one can obscure how massive it has become. Her piss-poor 'shooping skills are just the icing on the sheet cakes.
 
Tess ain’t never going to “finish remodeling house shopping“ ( aka move the fuck out of Jolene’s apt) now. Online ad and “influencer” money has fallen off a fucking cliff and Tess was already on the lowest rung with no rainy day fund.

I bet her $1700 from Trump virus bucks are already owed to Jolene in back rent at this point.
lol if you think she's actually paying Jolene a single red cent
 
That. Fucking. Hanging. GUT! Holy shit it's rivalling Big Amy's.

Edit: so with all three stomachs strapped in, they still hang to mid thigh. She's likely wearing a full body shape beneath the spandex / lycra workout outfit two sizes too small
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There is no way she can wipe herself clean after using the bathroom. None.

Oh gross, I thought that was her thigh, but then I realized its all FUPA
 
Nope, no it can't. And that gut is begging to be released from its lycra prison so it can spring out into it's normal size.
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I just love the fact that she can’t even enjoy a few moments of a sunny day at the beach because she had to get squeezed into spanx. I can’t imagine getting squeezed into layers of sausage casing and sitting outside in the sun.

The photo is a great symbol for her entire life. She spends hours doing make-up, hair, and spanx just to spend a few moments doing careful poses with a stupid fake smile, that she then spends time carefully editing to make it presentable. All that time, effort and expense for a few minutes of totally faked reality.

The facade of Tess’s entire life is amazing and a testament to her vanity and narcissism. She’s broke, living in her nanny’s small apartment, can’t care for her son, weighs 500 lbs and can’t wipe her own ass or shave her legs. Her entire life is devoted to convincing strangers that being a massive fat ass isnt gross as fuck - and failing miserably at it.
 
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It's for a podcast called "Scissoring Isn't a Thing" talking about her "queer experience".

Tess: "So, like, I was at a bar, y'all, and like, I wanted the guys to give me attention and free drinks. So, like, I gave another girl a peck on the lips, y'all! I am like, so queer, y'all!"

There. Saved you the effort.
 
I'm surprised Fabletics still fits her.
Does it, really?
What surprises me is that they let her squeeeeze into a 3X when 4X is available. I'm sure that's what she insists upon, so they let her have it. But to what advantage? To try to prove how stretchy and generous the material is? Is it like when Chinese companies put two models in one fatass American pair of pants to demonstrate how roomy they are? "These will stretch across even Tess's fupa!"
 
Does it, really?
What surprises me is that they let her squeeeeze into a 3X when 4X is available.

It's possible that they did give her the 4x and she's lying and saying it's 3x because we all know Tess is never, ever honest about her true size. She's done it to companies before, Eloqui for example, saying she wore one size and the company saying she wore a much larger one in a photo, or saying she's 'sized up' because a dress 'runs small' when it is actually true to size. misleading potential customers. Part of why she doesn't get asked back, I imagine. Fabletics is run via some scammy subscription system so I suspect their standards of behavior and honesty are lower. Hell, they employ Tess as a model - they have no standards at all.
 
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She tells an anecdote on this podcast about Rylee not wanting to be on her instagram because he gets made fun of for his mom being naked on the internet. Which is funny because we have been speculating on this for years Of course most of the story is fabricated because she makes Rylee sound like he’s a 32 year old sjw. Even the podcast hosts were like “wow your son said that”. I’m embarrassed I listened to Tess smell her own farts for an hour but the podcast definitely revealed more about how insane this woman is.
 
She tells an anecdote on this podcast about Rylee not wanting to be on her instagram because he gets made fun of for his mom being naked on the internet. Which is funny because we have been speculating on this for years Of course most of the story is fabricated because she makes Rylee sound like he’s a 32 year old sjw. Even the podcast hosts were like “wow your son said that”. I’m embarrassed I listened to Tess smell her own farts for an hour but the podcast definitely revealed more about how insane this woman is.
Any other tidbits from the podcast to share?
 
I'm surprised Fabletics still fits her. Who will she "model" for when she ultimately can't wear them anymore? Also, I guess Tess did a podcast. I might listen if I get bored enough today. It's for a podcast called "Scissoring Isn't a Thing" talking about her "queer experience". Should be eyeroll-inducing: found here.

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Fabletics doesn't fit her; the leggings are always stretched to their absolute maximum, and thus are practically sheer on her (which they're not intended to be). The top she was wearing supposedly had a peplum, but who could even tell? At best, it flared out slightly to accommodate her massive gut.

Tess has always gone by the rule, "If I can get into it (or if I can get it on my bulk well enough to get a photo from the front), it fits."
It's possible that they did give her the 4x and she's lying and saying it's 3x because we all know Tess is never, ever honest about her true size. She's done it to companies before, Eloqui for example, saying she wore one size and the company saying she wore a much larger one in a photo, or saying she's 'sized up' because a dress 'runs small' when it is actually true to size. misleading potential customers. Part of why she doesn't get asked back, I imagine. Fabletics is run via some scammy subscription system so I suspect their standards of behavior and honesty are lower. Hell, they employ Tess as a model - they have no standards at all.
Yeah, she could very well be lying about the actual size she's wearing, given how often she's done that before.

I tried looking on Fabletics' site to see what her outfit was meant to look like, but you can't just browse their clothing selection; you have to sign up (unless I'm missing something, but I got so annoyed with their site right away, I didn't dig deeper). I think it's a subscription service of some sort.

One thing I can say, though--and I've already said it on the Corissa/fatgirlflow thread--is that the sponsored posts and affiliate links Insta "influencers" rely on are going to become a thing of the past for a lot of people who depend upon them for at least part of their income.

The fashion industry is facing a major crisis, not just because most clothing stores are closed and so many people are now out of work, and no longer have money to spend on clothes (even if they shop online), but also because their supply chains (be it for textiles, trims/fastenings, as well as manufacturing) from China have been massively disrupted, and don't appear to be bouncing back any time soon.

So cash-strapped clothing companies are already doing a lot of belt-tightening, including suspending affiliate programs. Giving free merch and maybe some cash to SM influencers to promote their products is pretty much the cheapest, most easily targeted advertising out there, but as things get worse, only the influencers with the widest reach and most profitable following are going to be worth partnering with. And while Tess is far more influential than the likes of Corissa, and will probably hang on a little longer, plus-size lines are always going to be less profitable than straight sizes, and will be the first lines cut when a company starts making hard decisions in order to stay afloat.

So Tess had better enjoy the few remaining things Flabletics and Pretty Little Thot are going to send her, because I predict that by June those days will be over.
 
She tells an anecdote on this podcast about Rylee not wanting to be on her instagram because he gets made fun of for his mom being naked on the internet. Which is funny because we have been speculating on this for years Of course most of the story is fabricated because she makes Rylee sound like he’s a 32 year old sjw. Even the podcast hosts were like “wow your son said that”. I’m embarrassed I listened to Tess smell her own farts for an hour but the podcast definitely revealed more about how insane this woman is.
I think Rylee is just a good-natured chubby kid though and mostly just wants mom to leave him off social media, but still clearly wants her attention and maybe approval, so Tess feels like she can brush his feelings off because she knows he’ll still love her. I think Bowie is going to be much more vicious when he gets older, based on Nick’s anecdotes on how even at a young age he gives her a lot of sass, says he doesn’t love her, makes her feel rejected etc. Bowie is going to hardcore reject her bullshit the older he gets and it’s going to be rough for her. I actually wonder if part of the reason she finally kicked Nick was because she couldn’t handle not being the favorite parent. For sure Nick is a piece of shit also but Tess probably still dumped him for some dumb narc reason.
 
I think Bowie is going to be much more vicious when he gets older, based on Nick’s anecdotes on how even at a young age he gives her a lot of sass, says he doesn’t love her, makes her feel rejected etc. Bowie is going to hardcore reject her bullshit the older he gets and it’s going to be rough for her.

>tfw the queer kid you were hoping for will be a bigger catty diva queen than you will ever be and destroy you with his receipts and hot takes
Now that would be a monkey's paw wish on Tess's part if Bowie turns out like she wants him to.
 
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