Snowflake Chloe Wilkinson / DissociaDID and Nanette Zuniga / Nan / TeamPinata

[Justine_alvarez08]

Here we've got a pedo who's been accused of crazy histrionic behavior and a girl that's apparently made several suicide attempts and manipulates her audience with that information. Seems pretty insane to me.

But now that I think about it, maybe Nan thinks DID is a good cover for being a pedo degenerate.

Where is this art

 

[comrade666]

I've updated the timeline with a few additional posts. Last chance to send new information my way.

Decided to do a little bit of research myself to see what I could dig up (I've read the whole thread so I'm hopefully not going to be repeating anything that wasn't already talked about)

Decided to do some digging starting with Tumblr. Big surprise- she's a shipper. Gives me really strong "I'm quirky and different" tumblr vibes. I think this definitely reinforces the idea that Chloe having gay male alters is just an excuse to get to be gay herself (for some reason a lot of straight women are very into gay relationships which I cannot begin to understand but whatever) I've archived the posts here and here


I found her Deviantart from her failed attempt at being an artist two years ago which I also archived here

Definitely the most interesting is this WIP where she asks for advice on drawing "Afro-hair" probably nothing but the wording just screams "I'm white and I'm trying to be inclusive"

So unfortunately nothing damning like Nan's account but I will keep digging.

Found her Art Tumblr Account with basically the same content as her deviantart but for posterity I've archived it here

I'll keep digging but I figured this would be somewhat helpful, hopefully people can find more leads from this.

EDIT: Seems while I was archiving the Tumblr is now gone.. shame. I was really hoping to dig into her weird shipper past. Did no one archive it before it went down?

Some of the relevant posts were archived and can be found in thread. She didn't post a great deal but we've shared what looked interesting.

I’ll be honest, guys, I don’t feel too great about this. I don’t think it was wrong to expose a potentially dangerous person who clearly has a sexual interest in children, acted on or not. But she really did lose her entire world in a matter of days and completely in a matter of hours.

I only hope someone is on the phone with her family right now and getting her checked in somewhere ASAP. There may not be an effusive level of conscience for some, but if I know I sat around involved with or actively watched someone get destroyed to the point they take their own life before someone stepped in to get them real help, I’m going to carry that. And I don’t want to carry that.

What were you expecting to happen? Did you want us to give her asspats and tell her it's just fine to lust after 12 year old boys?

For all our new users and lurkers, here's a tip for you! Check out the rest of the site, if you think this shit is wacky you ain't seen nothing yet. I like this thread and it has provided much amusement, but if you think this is anywhere near the bottom of the degeneracy hole you've got another think coming. Trust me, there's enough content here to keep you laughing/crying/retching/raging for months if not years. Make good use of the next highlight feature if you're too lazy to skim, but you'll probably miss out on some juicy stuff if you only do that.

As for Nan, I think there's a fair likelihood that we see some sort of epic chimpout in the near-future. As has been stated ad nauseam, Chloe was her net and seemed to keep her mostly on track. Unless her presence disappears from the 'net we could be in for something quite fun. Rate me optimistic if you like, I can be a bit hopeful at times. Still think Chloe is Queen Cow of the thread though, can't wait for things to progress.

I agree. Chloe has far more m!lk to offer. Nan's big sperg out is a one and done event if you ask me. Interesting whilst it lasted, but Chloe is our real slow burner.

 

[incorrigible shit goblin]

Not asking anyone to give a fuck, just trying to give my statements some credibility.

We're merely onlookers. We don't need credentials. We come here with the belief that everyone's opinion is equal and everyone should have a voice. It's your input that needs to be of substance. Also, I know that's a really cushy way to describe this site, but it's the overall vibe.

There's no faster way to get yourself pushed around here than acting like you have a leg up on everybody. Just focus on what you say and not what you are.

Found a gem on the way back machine from Chloe's tumblr. It's a reblog of a post from Gaud (another pedo) it might take me a bit to detail the context of why it's bad and get the receipts about Gaud but I'm working on it. Aren't you glad I'm a tumblr cuck?

Don't really think association is something that will really matter, especially if it was from before Gaud was outed or whatever. It also depends on the true severity of the allegations because tumblr is known for cancelling people who simply liked an innocent post from some problematic person at some point. I'll still wait to see what you're bringing to the table but still.

 

[AmbiTron]

Where is this art

Didn't you already ask this? Read the thread. You won't have your hand held here.

 

[comrade666]

Not asking anyone to give a fuck, just trying to give my statements some credibility.

You're not applying for a job here rctard. No one cares about your credibility.

 

[Gramh]

You may not care about my personal experiences but if you're going to call someone out for being a liar it may help to have some real-world information to back it up.

Obviously you haven't read much of the thread. Hi Welcome.

 

[Pontiac Dumpsterfire]

Spoiler: The meaning of this word has changed for me in so many ways I wish it hadn't

 

[truscummy]

Just as I thought.. there's more shipping shit.. yikes



She also seems to not like The Beatles very much but I don't know what that's about

Here are a few snowflakey posts I found too just for something to cleanse the fetishizing of gay people outta my eyes

I'm sure by the time I press submit the entire story will have developed but heres this I guess

 

[randomtranny]

Not asking anyone to give a fuck, just trying to give my statements some credibility.

Again, been there, done that. If anything, you justifying why you think something with your own personal experiences means your input will more than likely be glossed over.

Anyway, back to discussing the cow at hand.

 

[AmbiTron]

Spoiler: The meaning of this word has changed for me in so many ways I wish it hadn't

View attachment 1231083

I'd like to say the same but I've come to the point where I just expect everything to be a fetish. Everything. If it exists, there's some mongoloid out there jacking off to it. Guaranteed.

 

[Carlos the Scientist]

Archive: Instagram Live 04/11/20 for @jeremeerplus (TeamPinata / Nan)
View attachment 1224299
This is the entire stream start to finish, courtesy of @notpasta45

Transcript of this video! I must absolutely hate myself. Hope I haven't buggered up the formatting; I've tried to paragraph it out but it's very much a stream of consciousness. I've bolded some particularly interesting phrases, and I've added in points where Chloe comments (have almost certainly missed some, but note the points where she comments and then Nan changes track).

The end paragraph is particularly amusing, where she mentions KF by name. Also amusing is the amount of times she mentions that she never wanted this to be made public.

Spoiler: full transcript with timestamps: really fucking long

[0:00] This is the first time I've ever done a livestream on Instagram, so I'm not really sure exactly how it goes. I guess... Before I get into the icky stuff that is being thrown at not only my system, but also this is affecting a lot of people in the community, not just us, and... yeah, a family member of mine was threatened, and though I do believe that they're safe, um... it was a shock, because nothing like this has ever happened since we started social media, and so it is important... it is important that I address the rumors that are being said about us, that I address the video that twisted information and I... I've always... I've always been afraid of this kind of thing happening, but... it... I never expected it to be like this, ever.

[2:14] First of all, I want to say that these accusations are being made at me, Nan. They have nothing to do with Jeremy, Riven, or anyone else in the system. I understand system responsibility, and so everyone, everyone who is a part of this system is gonna... is gonna have to deal with this life, the way it happens. But I'm really sad that the channel that Jeremy worked so hard to create (Dissociadid comment: 'Explain the facts babe') and that we all have worked so hard to maintain and to help people and to help bring a community together, to help spread awareness around this disorder, to help give people a place... where they feel understood, and accepted...

[3:38] Okay. So I'm... I'm just going to get right at it. I'm aware that there's a certain hate website out there that's gonna try to record this livestream. They have this hobby of stalking not only me and my fiancee and partner system, but also a lot of other DID systems. Um, so this website will most likely be recording this. And so, hi guys! I understand that you might twist this shit, and that's... there's nothing that we can do about this. All I can do... all I can do is say the truth.

[4:30] I'm very dissociated, so I'm going to try and be as eloquent as possible. So... I'm not sure, um, how long the website has been around. I've only recently... (Dissociadid comments: 'Just tell the truth hon') okay, anyway.

[4:52] So, recently, on YouTube somebody made a series of videos accusing me and my partner system of 'fetishising the disorder' [fingerquotes], because our systems have separate relationships between us, like Kyle and Jeremy are in a relationship, me and Nin are in a relationship, Riven and Nin are... in a ... thing... and so, he made this video, and it got views. And I think that he thought, oh okay, if I do some more digging, maybe I can make some more videos with more views. And so, he searched through the internet, and he found old drawings that I did. I was ignorant in the way I presented those drawings.

[6:12] I don't want to go public about this private aspect of me, Nan. But I have a sexual fetish... trigger warning, I'm going to be talking about fetishes. My sexual fetish is for sneezing. I have never, in all of my years up to this point, I have never been accused of that being harmful. And... I was at first very, very confused why people were upset.

[7:07] On this old - I used to draw fetish pictures, now for folks that have fetishes, you might understand that a fetish isn't always sexual. A fetish is more of an affinity; especially for me, I'm an asexual person. My affinity towards sneezing has pretty much been there since I was a child, and it's not something I can control. Um... my fetish is the only thing that can cause any sort of sexual response at all in me, and I hate having to come out on the internet and talk about my goddamn sexual interests. It's... It sucks. And I hate saying that. However, I was an idiot in the past. I would draw these pictures of video game characters sneezing, of people's fursonas sneezing, I would make money. And this helped me, (Dissociadid comments: So it's not always sexual. You're doing great)

[8:32] I've been disabled, on federal government assistance since 2012, and... it really helped me through some rough times to have a niche fetish community that I could draw stuff for, and... I have drawn people's fursonas, I have drawn video game characters...

No, sneezing is not always sexual. Just like if somebody has a fetish for... catgirls, or a fetish for male presenting chests, if they see - some catgirls are gonna be sexy, some male chests are gonna be sexy, sometimes they're not.

[9:41] People have the right to feel hurt because of these rumors. But... okay, I'm really dissociating. Okay. So... I would draw these pictures of characters sneezing, and... So basically, a sexual fetish, the difference between a sexual fetish and a kink is that a sexual fetish is something that you have since early childhood, it's something that just is - I don't know why it happens, there's various reasons, various theories as to why people have fetishes - but, um, I am...

[10:45] I don't know, i've always been interested in sneezing. I thought it was cute. And yes, sometimes sneezing is sexy. Sometimes. It is the only way I can experience anything sexual. I am asexual, and I don't understand sexuality very well. In the past, when I was drawing these fetish pictures, I have never once been accused of anything like - trigger warning - pedophilia, or child endangerment, or CP.

[11:50] I have drawn video game characters before, whose 'canon age' [fingerquotes] is underage. Those pictures I drew were not meant to be sexy; they were [homage?] to the character, because I appreciated the character, and I thought it was cute. It was my mistake to put pictures like that, as well as pictures that were actually sexual to me, in the same blog, and label that blog a porn blog. That was my mistake. That was wrong, and I am very, very - honestly -

[12:55] - oh, I lost my train of thought, I'm sorry. Um... So... I don't know what I was saying. I think the characters he specifically mentioned in his video were Tails the fox - I don't know how people could have seen that picture as even remotely sexual, and it was not meant to be sexual - like I said, it was my bad on including that picture on a blog that I had carelessly labeled as porn. I did not understand the implications of that word, and now I know, and I'm really glad this came to awareness, actually, so I could take down the blog, so no one has to be hurt by my stupid mistake. I am kicking myself.

[13:59] Let me see, let me see. I drew Tails the fox, and that was meant to be cute, I dont' know how anybody could interpret that as sexy. I drew Rainbow Brite, because I wanted to draw her outfit, but I definitely made sure she had boobs in the picture to show that she was not a child. He put up a picture... he put up a comic I did as a comission for somebody, they wanted - they were part of the furry community, they wanted [macro micro?] to be a part of it -

[14:46] [reading chat? reading script?] oh, um, okay, so - Steven Universe, Jeremy when he was young, okay. So I explained Tails, I explained Rainbow Brite, so the comic of the wolf sneezing onto the smaller wolf. That smaller wolf was not supposed to be a baby wolf. You're entitled to think it's nasty. It's not a fetish I think everyone is going to have, I think a lot of people are going to think this fetish is disgusting, and... this is kind of why I didn't want it to be fucking public, because this is my personal thing, it's hard to - as an asexual person - to explain that semblance of sexuality I have. I don't like it.

[15:41] Um... I drew Rainbow Brite's outfit, I did not draw Rainbow Brite as a child, I drew her outfit on an adult body. Um... anyway. The [macro/micro?], it was a larger wolf sneezing onto a smaller wolf. It was not a child wolf, it was a 'micro', that was the, um, what was it called? - that was what they comissioned me to do.

[16:28] The Steven Universe pictures, um... all of those were of the gems. The gems aren't children, and yet again, because I like the show Steven Universe, um... [long pause] I'm tired. I'm trying to, um... I'm trying to stay present, I'm sorry, I'm dissociating. (Dissociadid comments: 'You're doing good hun')

[17:24] Steven was not included, I think I drew Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, and... then, the pictures that I've drawn, um... the pictures that I've drawn of Jeremy in the past, and that Seth drew of Jeremy, it was suggested that this somehow implies that Nan is a danger - I don't actually know how it implies that I'm a danger, honestly.

[18:07?] - I know that there was that video that I suggested that all of my alters sneeze and compare, um, that idea was meant to be cute, and not sexual, I do not sexualize my alters, but I understand why people would be concerned. It was an innocent idea. Maybe I came up with that idea because I have a fetish, but it wasn't meant to [mocking] sway children into the ways of the sneeze fetish.

[18:49] Now, the pictures that I have drawn of Jeremy in the past - I used to draw pictures of Old Jeremy, before he could age slide, when he was a consistent age of 26 and then 27. I meant, I drew those pictures to be cute, because I used to think it was cute. I used to think it was cute that he would whine and complain when the body got sick. I understand that it wasn't fair of me to take something that made him uncomfortable, and... I don't know... think it was cute. I feel bad.

[20:00] [incoherent?] [reading out] Did you intentionally [intend? attempt?] to endanger and sexualize the audience? No. I do not see that narrative, but it's what's being suggested. Did I intentionally intend to endanger and sexualize the audience? What audience? No, no, never.

[20:23] Um... Jeremy would put up with those pictures, and be like, okay, whatever, you guys can make fun of me if you want, you guys can think it's cute when I'm upset - and then the winter of 2018 and 2019 happened, and being sick became something that wasn't just his job to take care of when the body was sick.

As far as I know, my brother is okay, as of now. I hope so. Um... - I'm dissociating.

[21:27] It was dumb of me, (Dissociadid comment: I think you addressed everything honey. You can stop anytime.)
it was dumb of me to use the word porn in that blog, but that is the only thing that I can acknowledge as a mistake. I don't want to kinkshame myself or anybody else who has a sneeze fetish, or any other fetish in general. I don't think... I don't think that this... I'm very sad that this is the Internet's business at all. I had honestly forgotten that that blog existed, and I'm... I understand why people are upset. I never meant to hurt anybody, or endanger anybody, or bring anybody to this... [incoherent - 22:26] sneeze fetishists, because that's dumb. This is a very very very obscure, unusual, uncommon fetish, and it's honestly my business. It's not the Internet's business, but hey, it's the Internet, and... unfortunately, beacuse of the amount of subscribers we have... we are gonna get hated on for anything, right now.

[23:06] I am so sorry for anybody that was hurt by these rumors and these accusations. Honestly, my system is fucking hurt by these rumors and these accusations. I just found out, today actually, that one of the abusers that I had in the past... cause my system does have a long history of child sexual abuse... is getting reported, after years and years. And... it's really fucking with me (Dissociadid comment: I love you) and I see other people on the Internet, within the DID community, being attacked, and... (Dissociadid comment: It's okay it's okay) I don't know what else to do.

[24:15] So... I've said my piece, I've said my truth, I admit that I was careless and negligent (Dissociadid comment: Honey you can stop) and stupid for using a word I didn't understand. I love you too, Dissociadid. I love you too. I don't want anybody to be hurt, and, um...

[24:41] One last thing before I stop, I'm also aware that this guy says I have a majority of a younger audience. Actually 93% of the viewers on our channel are 18 years or older, most of them are older than 18. So... that's a mistake. The drawings of Jeremy were drawn before he could age-slide. I don't... I don't know what else to do.

[25:20] Hi to everybody on KiwiFarms! I hope... I hope you guys have a great time with more fodder to make fun of me and the rest of this community that has already been so traumatized. (Dissociadid comment: Log off babee) Really, you guys could be doing so much better with your life than picking on a marginalized group of people.

[25:49] Alright. I don't know what else to say, so I'm gonna go. Bye.

For reference, transcriptions I've done of the two Insta apologies are here and here. I was going to proof read this, some of the timestamps may be a bit off, but fuck it, I'm going to bed.

 

[AmbiTron]

Transcript of this video! I must absolutely hate myself. Hope I haven't buggered up the formatting; I've tried to paragraph it out but it's very much a stream of consciousness. I've bolded some particularly interesting phrases, and I've added in points where Chloe comments (have almost certainly missed some, but note the points where she comments and then Nan changes track).

The end paragraph is particularly amusing, where she mentions KF by name. Also amusing is the amount of times she mentions that she never wanted this to be made public.

Spoiler: full transcript with timestamps: really fucking long

[0:00] This is the first time I've ever done a livestream on Instagram, so I'm not really sure exactly how it goes. I guess... Before I get into the icky stuff that is being thrown at not only my system, but also this is affecting a lot of people in the community, not just us, and... yeah, a family member of mine was threatened, and though I do believe that they're safe, um... it was a shock, because nothing like this has ever happened since we started social media, and so it is important... it is important that I address the rumors that are being said about us, that I address the video that twisted information and I... I've always... I've always been afraid of this kind of thing happening, but... it... I never expected it to be like this, ever.

[2:14] First of all, I want to say that these accusations are being made at me, Nan. They have nothing to do with Jeremy, Riven, or anyone else in the system. I understand system responsibility, and so everyone, everyone who is a part of this system is gonna... is gonna have to deal with this life, the way it happens. But I'm really sad that the channel that Jeremy worked so hard to create (Dissociadid comment: 'Explain the facts babe') and that we all have worked so hard to maintain and to help people and to help bring a community together, to help spread awareness around this disorder, to help give people a place... where they feel understood, and accepted...

[3:38] Okay. So I'm... I'm just going to get right at it. I'm aware that there's a certain hate website out there that's gonna try to record this livestream. They have this hobby of stalking not only me and my fiancee and partner system, but also a lot of other DID systems. Um, so this website will most likely be recording this. And so, hi guys! I understand that you might twist this shit, and that's... there's nothing that we can do about this. All I can do... all I can do is say the truth.

[4:30] I'm very dissociated, so I'm going to try and be as eloquent as possible. So... I'm not sure, um, how long the website has been around. I've only recently... (Dissociadid comments: 'Just tell the truth hon') okay, anyway.

[4:52] So, recently, on YouTube somebody made a series of videos accusing me and my partner system of 'fetishising the disorder' [fingerquotes], because our systems have separate relationships between us, like Kyle and Jeremy are in a relationship, me and Nin are in a relationship, Riven and Nin are... in a ... thing... and so, he made this video, and it got views. And I think that he thought, oh okay, if I do some more digging, maybe I can make some more videos with more views. And so, he searched through the internet, and he found old drawings that I did. I was ignorant in the way I presented those drawings.

[6:12] I don't want to go public about this private aspect of me, Nan. But I have a sexual fetish... trigger warning, I'm going to be talking about fetishes. My sexual fetish is for sneezing. I have never, in all of my years up to this point, I have never been accused of that being harmful. And... I was at first very, very confused why people were upset.

[7:07] On this old - I used to draw fetish pictures, now for folks that have fetishes, you might understand that a fetish isn't always sexual. A fetish is more of an affinity; especially for me, I'm an asexual person. My affinity towards sneezing has pretty much been there since I was a child, and it's not something I can control. Um... my fetish is the only thing that can cause any sort of sexual response at all in me, and I hate having to come out on the internet and talk about my goddamn sexual interests. It's... It sucks. And I hate saying that. However, I was an idiot in the past. I would draw these pictures of video game characters sneezing, of people's fursonas sneezing, I would make money. And this helped me, (Dissociadid comments: So it's not always sexual. You're doing great)

[8:32] I've been disabled, on federal government assistance since 2012, and... it really helped me through some rough times to have a niche fetish community that I could draw stuff for, and... I have drawn people's fursonas, I have drawn video game characters...

No, sneezing is not always sexual. Just like if somebody has a fetish for... catgirls, or a fetish for male presenting chests, if they see - some catgirls are gonna be sexy, some male chests are gonna be sexy, sometimes they're not.

[9:41] People have the right to feel hurt because of these rumors. But... okay, I'm really dissociating. Okay. So... I would draw these pictures of characters sneezing, and... So basically, a sexual fetish, the difference between a sexual fetish and a kink is that a sexual fetish is something that you have since early childhood, it's something that just is - I don't know why it happens, there's various reasons, various theories as to why people have fetishes - but, um, I am...

[10:45] I don't know, i've always been interested in sneezing. I thought it was cute. And yes, sometimes sneezing is sexy. Sometimes. It is the only way I can experience anything sexual. I am asexual, and I don't understand sexuality very well. In the past, when I was drawing these fetish pictures, I have never once been accused of anything like - trigger warning - pedophilia, or child endangerment, or CP.

[11:50] I have drawn video game characters before, whose 'canon age' [fingerquotes] is underage. Those pictures I drew were not meant to be sexy; they were [homage?] to the character, because I appreciated the character, and I thought it was cute. It was my mistake to put pictures like that, as well as pictures that were actually sexual to me, in the same blog, and label that blog a porn blog. That was my mistake. That was wrong, and I am very, very - honestly -

[12:55] - oh, I lost my train of thought, I'm sorry. Um... So... I don't know what I was saying. I think the characters he specifically mentioned in his video were Tails the fox - I don't know how people could have seen that picture as even remotely sexual, and it was not meant to be sexual - like I said, it was my bad on including that picture on a blog that I had carelessly labeled as porn. I did not understand the implications of that word, and now I know, and I'm really glad this came to awareness, actually, so I could take down the blog, so no one has to be hurt by my stupid mistake. I am kicking myself.

[13:59] Let me see, let me see. I drew Tails the fox, and that was meant to be cute, I dont' know how anybody could interpret that as sexy. I drew Rainbow Brite, because I wanted to draw her outfit, but I definitely made sure she had boobs in the picture to show that she was not a child. He put up a picture... he put up a comic I did as a comission for somebody, they wanted - they were part of the furry community, they wanted [macro micro?] to be a part of it -

[14:46] [reading chat? reading script?] oh, um, okay, so - Steven Universe, Jeremy when he was young, okay. So I explained Tails, I explained Rainbow Brite, so the comic of the wolf sneezing onto the smaller wolf. That smaller wolf was not supposed to be a baby wolf. You're entitled to think it's nasty. It's not a fetish I think everyone is going to have, I think a lot of people are going to think this fetish is disgusting, and... this is kind of why I didn't want it to be fucking public, because this is my personal thing, it's hard to - as an asexual person - to explain that semblance of sexuality I have. I don't like it.

[15:41] Um... I drew Rainbow Brite's outfit, I did not draw Rainbow Brite as a child, I drew her outfit on an adult body. Um... anyway. The [macro/micro?], it was a larger wolf sneezing onto a smaller wolf. It was not a child wolf, it was a 'micro', that was the, um, what was it called? - that was what they comissioned me to do.

[16:28] The Steven Universe pictures, um... all of those were of the gems. The gems aren't children, and yet again, because I like the show Steven Universe, um... [long pause] I'm tired. I'm trying to, um... I'm trying to stay present, I'm sorry, I'm dissociating. (Dissociadid comments: 'You're doing good hun')

[17:24] Steven was not included, I think I drew Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, and... then, the pictures that I've drawn, um... the pictures that I've drawn of Jeremy in the past, and that Seth drew of Jeremy, it was suggested that this somehow implies that Nan is a danger - I don't actually know how it implies that I'm a danger, honestly.

[18:07?] - I know that there was that video that I suggested that all of my alters sneeze and compare, um, that idea was meant to be cute, and not sexual, I do not sexualize my alters, but I understand why people would be concerned. It was an innocent idea. Maybe I came up with that idea because I have a fetish, but it wasn't meant to [mocking] sway children into the ways of the sneeze fetish.

[18:49] Now, the pictures that I have drawn of Jeremy in the past - I used to draw pictures of Old Jeremy, before he could age slide, when he was a consistent age of 26 and then 27. I meant, I drew those pictures to be cute, because I used to think it was cute. I used to think it was cute that he would whine and complain when the body got sick. I understand that it wasn't fair of me to take something that made him uncomfortable, and... I don't know... think it was cute. I feel bad.

[20:00] [incoherent?] [reading out] Did you intentionally [intend? attempt?] to endanger and sexualize the audience? No. I do not see that narrative, but it's what's being suggested. Did I intentionally intend to endanger and sexualize the audience? What audience? No, no, never.

[20:23] Um... Jeremy would put up with those pictures, and be like, okay, whatever, you guys can make fun of me if you want, you guys can think it's cute when I'm upset - and then the winter of 2018 and 2019 happened, and being sick became something that wasn't just his job to take care of when the body was sick.

As far as I know, my brother is okay, as of now. I hope so. Um... - I'm dissociating.

[21:27] It was dumb of me, (Dissociadid comment: I think you addressed everything honey. You can stop anytime.)
it was dumb of me to use the word porn in that blog, but that is the only thing that I can acknowledge as a mistake. I don't want to kinkshame myself or anybody else who has a sneeze fetish, or any other fetish in general. I don't think... I don't think that this... I'm very sad that this is the Internet's business at all. I had honestly forgotten that that blog existed, and I'm... I understand why people are upset. I never meant to hurt anybody, or endanger anybody, or bring anybody to this... [incoherent - 22:26] sneeze fetishists, because that's dumb. This is a very very very obscure, unusual, uncommon fetish, and it's honestly my business. It's not the Internet's business, but hey, it's the Internet, and... unfortunately, beacuse of the amount of subscribers we have... we are gonna get hated on for anything, right now.

[23:06] I am so sorry for anybody that was hurt by these rumors and these accusations. Honestly, my system is fucking hurt by these rumors and these accusations. I just found out, today actually, that one of the abusers that I had in the past... cause my system does have a long history of child sexual abuse... is getting reported, after years and years. And... it's really fucking with me (Dissociadid comment: I love you) and I see other people on the Internet, within the DID community, being attacked, and... (Dissociadid comment: It's okay it's okay) I don't know what else to do.

[24:15] So... I've said my piece, I've said my truth, I admit that I was careless and negligent (Dissociadid comment: Honey you can stop) and stupid for using a word I didn't understand. I love you too, Dissociadid. I love you too. I don't want anybody to be hurt, and, um...

[24:41] One last thing before I stop, I'm also aware that this guy says I have a majority of a younger audience. Actually 93% of the viewers on our channel are 18 years or older, most of them are older than 18. So... that's a mistake. The drawings of Jeremy were drawn before he could age-slide. I don't... I don't know what else to do.

[25:20] Hi to everybody on KiwiFarms! I hope... I hope you guys have a great time with more fodder to make fun of me and the rest of this community that has already been so traumatized. (Dissociadid comment: Log off babee) Really, you guys could be doing so much better with your life than picking on a marginalized group of people.

[25:49] Alright. I don't know what else to say, so I'm gonna go. Bye.

For reference, transcriptions I've done of the two Insta apologies are here and here. I was going to proof read this, some of the timestamps may be a bit off, but fuck it, I'm going to bed.

You may hate yourself but the transcribers of the farms are my fuckin' heroes. I ain't got time to watch cow videos, easier to just read the video. Thank you for your service.

 

[i forgot my password]

whoa chloe tumbler just went down I think

It's gone
If you find an account from Chloe, don't announce it in the thread because she's lurking. Post it once everything relevant has been archived and screenshotted. I'll give Chloe this, she was smart enough not to tie her real name to her fetish accounts, unlike Nan (at least that we know of for now).

I’ll be honest, guys, I don’t feel too great about this. I don’t think it was wrong to expose a potentially dangerous person who clearly has a sexual interest in children, acted on or not. But she really did lose her entire world in a matter of days and completely in a matter of hours.

I only hope someone is on the phone with her family right now and getting her checked in somewhere ASAP. There may not be an effusive level of conscience for some, but if I know I sat around involved with or actively watched someone get destroyed to the point they take their own life before someone stepped in to get them real help, I’m going to carry that. And I don’t want to carry that.

I hope she doesn't try anything stupid either but ultimately, I hope that this serves as a wake up call. For the past two years, Nan has been getting validated and enabled by the mental health / DID community and her malinger GF. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I can't imagine this being a good space for someone who is as mentally ill as Nan. She made a career out of glamorizing her trauma. Why should she improve? That goes for the sneezing community she was involved in too. When her therapist told her that drawing kink shit wasn't healthy, she didn't stop because she was making money and receiving support from the community. It's best if Nan stays off the internet. Her family is accepting (even if they don't approve of her more deviant behavior, as they should). She can ask them for help.

Unfortunately, there was no way that Nan could have avoided this. Her fanbase is made up of tumblr refugees and teenagers, they're unforgiving and they've seen her excuses before ("I aged them up", "I don't remember drawing it, "I was in a dark place", "it was commissioned art").

 

[comrade666]

Transcript of this video! I must absolutely hate myself. Hope I haven't buggered up the formatting; I've tried to paragraph it out but it's very much a stream of consciousness. I've bolded some particularly interesting phrases, and I've added in points where Chloe comments (have almost certainly missed some, but note the points where she comments and then Nan changes track).

The end paragraph is particularly amusing, where she mentions KF by name. Also amusing is the amount of times she mentions that she never wanted this to be made public.

Spoiler: full transcript with timestamps: really fucking long

[0:00] This is the first time I've ever done a livestream on Instagram, so I'm not really sure exactly how it goes. I guess... Before I get into the icky stuff that is being thrown at not only my system, but also this is affecting a lot of people in the community, not just us, and... yeah, a family member of mine was threatened, and though I do believe that they're safe, um... it was a shock, because nothing like this has ever happened since we started social media, and so it is important... it is important that I address the rumors that are being said about us, that I address the video that twisted information and I... I've always... I've always been afraid of this kind of thing happening, but... it... I never expected it to be like this, ever.

[2:14] First of all, I want to say that these accusations are being made at me, Nan. They have nothing to do with Jeremy, Riven, or anyone else in the system. I understand system responsibility, and so everyone, everyone who is a part of this system is gonna... is gonna have to deal with this life, the way it happens. But I'm really sad that the channel that Jeremy worked so hard to create (Dissociadid comment: 'Explain the facts babe') and that we all have worked so hard to maintain and to help people and to help bring a community together, to help spread awareness around this disorder, to help give people a place... where they feel understood, and accepted...

[3:38] Okay. So I'm... I'm just going to get right at it. I'm aware that there's a certain hate website out there that's gonna try to record this livestream. They have this hobby of stalking not only me and my fiancee and partner system, but also a lot of other DID systems. Um, so this website will most likely be recording this. And so, hi guys! I understand that you might twist this shit, and that's... there's nothing that we can do about this. All I can do... all I can do is say the truth.

[4:30] I'm very dissociated, so I'm going to try and be as eloquent as possible. So... I'm not sure, um, how long the website has been around. I've only recently... (Dissociadid comments: 'Just tell the truth hon') okay, anyway.

[4:52] So, recently, on YouTube somebody made a series of videos accusing me and my partner system of 'fetishising the disorder' [fingerquotes], because our systems have separate relationships between us, like Kyle and Jeremy are in a relationship, me and Nin are in a relationship, Riven and Nin are... in a ... thing... and so, he made this video, and it got views. And I think that he thought, oh okay, if I do some more digging, maybe I can make some more videos with more views. And so, he searched through the internet, and he found old drawings that I did. I was ignorant in the way I presented those drawings.

[6:12] I don't want to go public about this private aspect of me, Nan. But I have a sexual fetish... trigger warning, I'm going to be talking about fetishes. My sexual fetish is for sneezing. I have never, in all of my years up to this point, I have never been accused of that being harmful. And... I was at first very, very confused why people were upset.

[7:07] On this old - I used to draw fetish pictures, now for folks that have fetishes, you might understand that a fetish isn't always sexual. A fetish is more of an affinity; especially for me, I'm an asexual person. My affinity towards sneezing has pretty much been there since I was a child, and it's not something I can control. Um... my fetish is the only thing that can cause any sort of sexual response at all in me, and I hate having to come out on the internet and talk about my goddamn sexual interests. It's... It sucks. And I hate saying that. However, I was an idiot in the past. I would draw these pictures of video game characters sneezing, of people's fursonas sneezing, I would make money. And this helped me, (Dissociadid comments: So it's not always sexual. You're doing great)

[8:32] I've been disabled, on federal government assistance since 2012, and... it really helped me through some rough times to have a niche fetish community that I could draw stuff for, and... I have drawn people's fursonas, I have drawn video game characters...

No, sneezing is not always sexual. Just like if somebody has a fetish for... catgirls, or a fetish for male presenting chests, if they see - some catgirls are gonna be sexy, some male chests are gonna be sexy, sometimes they're not.

[9:41] People have the right to feel hurt because of these rumors. But... okay, I'm really dissociating. Okay. So... I would draw these pictures of characters sneezing, and... So basically, a sexual fetish, the difference between a sexual fetish and a kink is that a sexual fetish is something that you have since early childhood, it's something that just is - I don't know why it happens, there's various reasons, various theories as to why people have fetishes - but, um, I am...

[10:45] I don't know, i've always been interested in sneezing. I thought it was cute. And yes, sometimes sneezing is sexy. Sometimes. It is the only way I can experience anything sexual. I am asexual, and I don't understand sexuality very well. In the past, when I was drawing these fetish pictures, I have never once been accused of anything like - trigger warning - pedophilia, or child endangerment, or CP.

[11:50] I have drawn video game characters before, whose 'canon age' [fingerquotes] is underage. Those pictures I drew were not meant to be sexy; they were [homage?] to the character, because I appreciated the character, and I thought it was cute. It was my mistake to put pictures like that, as well as pictures that were actually sexual to me, in the same blog, and label that blog a porn blog. That was my mistake. That was wrong, and I am very, very - honestly -

[12:55] - oh, I lost my train of thought, I'm sorry. Um... So... I don't know what I was saying. I think the characters he specifically mentioned in his video were Tails the fox - I don't know how people could have seen that picture as even remotely sexual, and it was not meant to be sexual - like I said, it was my bad on including that picture on a blog that I had carelessly labeled as porn. I did not understand the implications of that word, and now I know, and I'm really glad this came to awareness, actually, so I could take down the blog, so no one has to be hurt by my stupid mistake. I am kicking myself.

[13:59] Let me see, let me see. I drew Tails the fox, and that was meant to be cute, I dont' know how anybody could interpret that as sexy. I drew Rainbow Brite, because I wanted to draw her outfit, but I definitely made sure she had boobs in the picture to show that she was not a child. He put up a picture... he put up a comic I did as a comission for somebody, they wanted - they were part of the furry community, they wanted [macro micro?] to be a part of it -

[14:46] [reading chat? reading script?] oh, um, okay, so - Steven Universe, Jeremy when he was young, okay. So I explained Tails, I explained Rainbow Brite, so the comic of the wolf sneezing onto the smaller wolf. That smaller wolf was not supposed to be a baby wolf. You're entitled to think it's nasty. It's not a fetish I think everyone is going to have, I think a lot of people are going to think this fetish is disgusting, and... this is kind of why I didn't want it to be fucking public, because this is my personal thing, it's hard to - as an asexual person - to explain that semblance of sexuality I have. I don't like it.

[15:41] Um... I drew Rainbow Brite's outfit, I did not draw Rainbow Brite as a child, I drew her outfit on an adult body. Um... anyway. The [macro/micro?], it was a larger wolf sneezing onto a smaller wolf. It was not a child wolf, it was a 'micro', that was the, um, what was it called? - that was what they comissioned me to do.

[16:28] The Steven Universe pictures, um... all of those were of the gems. The gems aren't children, and yet again, because I like the show Steven Universe, um... [long pause] I'm tired. I'm trying to, um... I'm trying to stay present, I'm sorry, I'm dissociating. (Dissociadid comments: 'You're doing good hun')

[17:24] Steven was not included, I think I drew Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, and... then, the pictures that I've drawn, um... the pictures that I've drawn of Jeremy in the past, and that Seth drew of Jeremy, it was suggested that this somehow implies that Nan is a danger - I don't actually know how it implies that I'm a danger, honestly.

[18:07?] - I know that there was that video that I suggested that all of my alters sneeze and compare, um, that idea was meant to be cute, and not sexual, I do not sexualize my alters, but I understand why people would be concerned. It was an innocent idea. Maybe I came up with that idea because I have a fetish, but it wasn't meant to [mocking] sway children into the ways of the sneeze fetish.

[18:49] Now, the pictures that I have drawn of Jeremy in the past - I used to draw pictures of Old Jeremy, before he could age slide, when he was a consistent age of 26 and then 27. I meant, I drew those pictures to be cute, because I used to think it was cute. I used to think it was cute that he would whine and complain when the body got sick. I understand that it wasn't fair of me to take something that made him uncomfortable, and... I don't know... think it was cute. I feel bad.

[20:00] [incoherent?] [reading out] Did you intentionally [intend? attempt?] to endanger and sexualize the audience? No. I do not see that narrative, but it's what's being suggested. Did I intentionally intend to endanger and sexualize the audience? What audience? No, no, never.

[20:23] Um... Jeremy would put up with those pictures, and be like, okay, whatever, you guys can make fun of me if you want, you guys can think it's cute when I'm upset - and then the winter of 2018 and 2019 happened, and being sick became something that wasn't just his job to take care of when the body was sick.

As far as I know, my brother is okay, as of now. I hope so. Um... - I'm dissociating.

[21:27] It was dumb of me, (Dissociadid comment: I think you addressed everything honey. You can stop anytime.)
it was dumb of me to use the word porn in that blog, but that is the only thing that I can acknowledge as a mistake. I don't want to kinkshame myself or anybody else who has a sneeze fetish, or any other fetish in general. I don't think... I don't think that this... I'm very sad that this is the Internet's business at all. I had honestly forgotten that that blog existed, and I'm... I understand why people are upset. I never meant to hurt anybody, or endanger anybody, or bring anybody to this... [incoherent - 22:26] sneeze fetishists, because that's dumb. This is a very very very obscure, unusual, uncommon fetish, and it's honestly my business. It's not the Internet's business, but hey, it's the Internet, and... unfortunately, beacuse of the amount of subscribers we have... we are gonna get hated on for anything, right now.

[23:06] I am so sorry for anybody that was hurt by these rumors and these accusations. Honestly, my system is fucking hurt by these rumors and these accusations. I just found out, today actually, that one of the abusers that I had in the past... cause my system does have a long history of child sexual abuse... is getting reported, after years and years. And... it's really fucking with me (Dissociadid comment: I love you) and I see other people on the Internet, within the DID community, being attacked, and... (Dissociadid comment: It's okay it's okay) I don't know what else to do.

[24:15] So... I've said my piece, I've said my truth, I admit that I was careless and negligent (Dissociadid comment: Honey you can stop) and stupid for using a word I didn't understand. I love you too, Dissociadid. I love you too. I don't want anybody to be hurt, and, um...

[24:41] One last thing before I stop, I'm also aware that this guy says I have a majority of a younger audience. Actually 93% of the viewers on our channel are 18 years or older, most of them are older than 18. So... that's a mistake. The drawings of Jeremy were drawn before he could age-slide. I don't... I don't know what else to do.

[25:20] Hi to everybody on KiwiFarms! I hope... I hope you guys have a great time with more fodder to make fun of me and the rest of this community that has already been so traumatized. (Dissociadid comment: Log off babee) Really, you guys could be doing so much better with your life than picking on a marginalized group of people.

[25:49] Alright. I don't know what else to say, so I'm gonna go. Bye.

For reference, transcriptions I've done of the two Insta apologies are here and here. I was going to proof read this, some of the timestamps may be a bit off, but fuck it, I'm going to bed.

God... it feels like being in court. Nice job.

If you find an account from Chloe, don't announce it in the thread because she's lurking. Post it once everything relevant has been archived and screenshotted. I'll give Chloe this, she was smart enough not to tie her real name to her fetish accounts, unlike Nan (at least that we know of for now).

I had a source in one of the DID discord severs before it was shut down and they are all more than aware of this thread. Anything said here will get back to them without a shadow of a doubt.

 

[heterotic]

I'd like to say the same but I've come to the point where I just expect everything to be a fetish. Everything. If it exists, there's some mongoloid out there jacking off to it. Guaranteed.

Do you think someone, somewhere is pulling the emergency brake to this thread?

 

[clowns and rapid rats]

I’ve been lurking this since finding out about what’s going on and I just really wish Nan wasn’t being addressed as ‘her’. All the points in here are valid and I respect all the work being put into it. Why can’t we address Nan as ‘they’ I’m getting stupid confused

 

[AmbiTron]

Do you think someone, somewhere is pulling the emergency brake to this thread?

Honestly? Yeah, probably. Or if not this thread, I'm quite sure people have got off on threads on this forum in general. Maybe not all of them specifically but you get what I mean. Shit, I'm less disturbed by that thought than the idea of someone SNEEZING BLOOD ONTO A COCK AND SUCKING IT OFF like Nan seems to enjoy.

 

[truscummy]

I’ve been lurking this since finding out about what’s going on and I just really wish Nan wasn’t being addressed as ‘her’. All the points in here are valid and I respect all the work being put into it. Why can’t we address Nan as ‘they’ I’m getting stupid confused

This is the farms.. if you can't handle misgendering this aint the site for you. leave.

 

[AmbiTron]

I’ve been lurking this since finding out about what’s going on and I just really wish Nan wasn’t being addressed as ‘her’. All the points in here are valid and I respect all the work being put into it. Why can’t we address Nan as ‘they’ I’m getting stupid confused

Because we're not small children and recognize reality here. Perhaps some of us choose to follow along with the delusions of troons and trenders, but I doubt most do. If that's what you're looking for, you're in the wrong place friendo.

 

[incorrigible shit goblin]

Honestly? Yeah, probably. Or if not this thread, I'm quite sure people have got off on threads on this forum in general. Maybe not all of them specifically but you get what I mean. Shit, I'm less disturbed by that thought than the idea of someone SNEEZING BLOOD ONTO A COCK AND SUCKING IT OFF like Nan seems to enjoy.

This kind of community that pulls up people who make this kind of degenerate shit are probably the perfect place for freaks to find their porn. All they have to do is search it up and they'll find someone who's been making it probably.