Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[The Last Stand]

Lol calm down. His time will come soon. For now, just sit

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I have no additional words that have not already been said.

He's anti decency as well.

Ok boomer.

 

[KiwiJoe]

Mr. Techtime doesn't know that Qi is pronounced like Chi.

Qi sounds too Chinese if he says it he may get the rona' faster and he's in denial of most of his tech gadgets being no-name Chineae knockoffs.

 

[captkrisma]

"That's the wet brisket you wanted right?" ~ WHY THE FUCK IS WET A GOOD FUCKING WORD FOR YOU JACK

Jack and Tammy have been married for quite some time...and she just NOW got Jack to cook a brisket somewhat properly. If it wasn't for all the black bull dick she gets, she'd have left Jack's morbidly obese ass years ago.

 

[Chamulum]

https://youtu.be/X2pbL4i0rJo

New brisket video where Jack pretends to be an expert even though TamTam did most of the work.

At the end of the video Jack pretends to be on the phone with a boomer friend wanting to come over for some of his brisket. He really wants to catch the ‘rona.

Please, one of the cooking autists here tell me. Did he season the brisket right? I don't make this shit but it looks like he didn't really do it right.

 

[realgone2]

Oh wow and hello! A whole forum on this dumb ass. I saw his "poor man's filet" video years ago. I remember how fucking awful it was and I was showing my friend the video earlier today. I started googling him and BAM! here I am. I'm almost thinking he is a Kaufman level comedian and we haven't caught on.

Also, did have a stroke or something? I noticed his arm doesn't work.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

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That's not very supportive of your son's music career, Jack!

 

[desudesu]

Qi sounds too Chinese if he says it he may get the rona' faster and he's in denial of most of his tech gadgets being no-name Chineae knockoffs.

No surprise, given his closest encounter to "real Chinese culture" are dodgy suburban Chinese restaurants that sell "sushi". Reminds me of this particular comic from The Oatmeal:

 

[realgone2]

No surprise, given his closest encounter to "real Chinese culture" are dodgy suburban Chinese restaurants that sell "sushi". Reminds me of this particular comic from The Oatmeal:

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Living in South Carolina I can attest to this.

 

[Childe]

Also, did have a stroke or something? I noticed his arm doesn't work.

The subtitle of this thread is “two strokes and counting,” so yeah, our Family Man Jack has a few strokes under his belt. Also, welcome to the farms! It would do you well to orient yourself with the way things work around here, so check out some of the other threads.

 

[realgone2]

The subtitle of this thread is “two strokes and counting,” so yeah, our Family Man Jack has a few strokes under his belt. Also, welcome to the farms! It would do you well to orient yourself with the way things work around here, so check out some of the other threads.

Ah thanks. I missed that subtitle.

 

[desudesu]

Ah thanks. I missed that subtitle.

The subtitle of this thread is “two strokes and counting,” so yeah, our Family Man Jack has a few strokes under his belt. Also, welcome to the farms! It would do you well to orient yourself with the way things work around here, so check out some of the other threads.

Also, don't forget the diabetes, high blood pressure and his recently torn Achilles tendon from simply walking. He's also having zero physiotherapy for his edematous dead arm. Oh and the best of all, he's currently on an eternal "keto diet" of fried food and meats for "losing weight". That's all to catch up for Fat Jack!

 

[realgone2]

The Weber Grill review was amazing. All the comments of "use the vent you dumb fuck". His channel is hundreds of hours of comedy gold.

 

[Aaway]

Also, don't forget the diabetes, high blood pressure and his recently torn Achilles tendon from simply walking. He's also having zero physiotherapy for his edematous dead arm. Oh and the best of all, he's currently on an eternal "keto diet" of fried food and meats for "losing weight". That's all to catch up for Fat Jack!

don't forget he was hospitalized for kidney stones and had surgery to remove them a few years ago

 

[Anal birth]

Does anyone have a running count of how many smokers (or grills) Jack has bought over the course of his channel? Also how many he currently has. I know he loves to return things after one use if he can't get it to work immediately out of the box (and without ever looking at the instructions).

 

[Adamska]

Does anyone have a running count of how many smokers (or grills) Jack has bought over the course of his channel? Also how many he currently has. I know he loves to return things after one use if he can't get it to work immediately out of the box (and without ever looking at the instructions).

He used to have a collection of grills and smokers that would just rust out in his yard, given I remember a video where he has the grill top of a grill fucking rusting and sitting half buried in dirt at one point.

I legit don't get why he hoards grills.

 

[KiwiJoe]

He used to have a collection of grills and smokers that would just rust out in his yard, given I remember a video where he has the grill top of a grill fucking rusting and sitting half buried in dirt at one point.

I legit don't get why he hoards grills.

Is 'grill and smoker collecting' even a thing? I can understand collecting stamps, pins, and fridge magnets because they tend to be collectables, and I can even understand collecting commodities and tools like guns, swiss army knives, lighters, etc. because they have a history to them and can always be tweaked with, but like, collecting grills and smokers?

What's the point and like why would you collect so many? A grill and smoker is like most kitchen appliances, you'll only ever need one or maybe two if you have a party. They don't have any history or resale value unless it's something like 'The Grill That Elvis Used In His Mansion's Backyard' but otherwise just random grills you buy in stores seems very pointless to me.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

Doing a runthrough, since he's going to ruin 15 pounds of some of the best meat to serve to those you love.

1. Fat Jack being a smug fake-christian with that shirt of his
1b. Remember, he goes to a church run by a murderer who refused to close down at first and it looks like a fucking strip joint.
2. Narcissistic Jack insists that his animal to mineral transubstantiation is good, but now is claiming it'll be "perfect".
3. Jack does a bullet point style outline of what he wants to do; talk about the cut, how to prepare it, and how to make it "perfect"... can't wait to see more cinnabar or coal.
4. "FAGGOT" ~ Jack's avatar on him ruining brisket
5. The brisket is a flat cut, and Fat Jack is just showing the fatty layer that covers it right now as he talks about buying it from Sam's Club.
6. Jack must have listened to the thread, since he mentions shaving off the fat from the flat cut.
7. He tries to explain that he wants a good marbled brisket, but fatboy doesn't turn his cut upside down to check the marbling
7b. Fun fact; you can still get bad marbling (and thus a lean cut) even if you get it flat cut... it's why you check the underside.
8. "If you go the other direction, then there will be no fat for me..." ~ Jack Scatolini on not understanding marbling and brisket cuts.
9. I'm suspecting that Jack's never had nor does he understand point cut brisket, since he seems to insist that the fat cap is needed for the brisket to be nice and juicy.
10. Jack is actually right; you want a consistent thickness for brisket for even cooking. *golf claps*
11. Jack is now shilling another product to pretend he's a big boy with a big bidness and not a fat leech sponging off of wifey.
11b. Asshole Jack forgets the maker of the Qwick Trim he was given back when he was more relevant; it's made by Grommet.
11c. And yes Grommet, you're welcome for the plug that the fat idiot you sent it to forgot to do.
12. Hahahaha, Narcissistic Jack doesn't want to show Tammy or Jr. shaving the meat off for him because his dead arm can't hold the meat from moving; good luck learning how to properly do it, since you ain't getting that THIS video.
13. Tammy didn't take off the full cap, but it does look like it got evened out.
14. Jack the dummy is wrong; you want to guarantee that your cut is even for cooking, even if it does intrude into meat.
14b. It also allows that side to get some flavoring from the seasoning you put on it.
14c. I reckon this means he'd leave meat be even if it does dry out due to being too thin since he's that terrified he won't be able to cram it in your mouth (the magic number for that by the way being an inch).
15. "Start with a little pepper" ~ Mushbrained Jack right before pouring what may be a third of a shaker on it
16. By the way the pepper's not evenly coating this side; it has big clumpy areas where there's too much and then areas there's not any. Sure, the fat will not allow that side to penetrate too well, but still.
17. Jack then dumps a buttload of salt and garlic randomly all over the cut, not even ensuring that it's even, while trying to claim he doesn't want to overpower the meat's flavor profile.
18. And I just noticed some thin zones of meat. We're getting some mummy brisket, yum.
19. Simple seasoning my ass; adding onion and garlic powder takes it well out of "simple".
20. Jack actually mentions he's seasoning the other side. Good; that actually means it will have flavor.
21. He also mentions leaving it in the fridge for a few hours; what he doesn't know is he's dry brining the brisket by doing this.
22. Jack has never let brisket cook for the full time needed (read: 14 hours).
23. Jack doesn't specify if he went fat side down or up when he cuts to the smoker, but he seems to prefer up based on other videos.
23b. Hint: It's better to do down because the fat cap protects that side from drying out.
24. I also just noticed he doesn't specify if he put water in the pan to keep the smoker's interior moist; that kinda helps in preventing drying out.
25. Looks like Jack did do it fatside up... oof.
26. And since he used butcher paper for the brisket, I can now tell you he probably used this guide. GG fatty.
27. Hungry Jack takes it out early; you're supposed to wait until the thickest part hits 200 idiot.
28. Also he mentions resting it an hour; that's the minimum, and the guide I know he's using for this recommends two actually.
29. Eurgh... hope you like the sound of styrofoam scratching against paper. That shit is unpleasant to me.
30. After I stopped cringing, no Jack. An hour is MINIMUM. Fucking wait for din-din fatty.
31. It only looks like leather this time, meaning that him ripping off that guide actually prevented the full mineralization from happening.
32. Still looks like fatty didn't let the smoker stay moist, since it looks more like jerky than brisket at a glance.
33. Resting my ass; it's still fucking cooking from the sound of it.
34. Jack actually acknowledges Tammy for the assist; I think he IS listening to Pink Chicken and the Lazy Man.
35. Nevermind, from that front angle it does look like iron ore. It's just not as bad as his usual shit.
36. "That's the wet brisket you wanted right?" ~ WHY THE FUCK IS WET A GOOD FUCKING WORD FOR YOU JACK
37. Hey, he did actually not steal a thumbnail. And he even did a skit for once... I'm actually surprised he has a bit of passion this time.
38. Jack didn't have to cut away to spit out his food this time.
39. He actually lets the padding have a more natural length too.

I'm actually shocked; besides Jacking it up a bit here and there, he did not completely fuck up that brisket like I thought he would.

Simple Jack has no business with brisket and should fucking kill himself

 

[realgone2]

He used to have a collection of grills and smokers that would just rust out in his yard, given I remember a video where he has the grill top of a grill fucking rusting and sitting half buried in dirt at one point.

I legit don't get why he hoards grills.

I'm surprised his kitchen always looks clean. Considering all the junk he hoards and acquires. I can image just off camera is a hoarder's mess of biblical proportions.

 

[Anal birth]

He used to have a collection of grills and smokers that would just rust out in his yard, given I remember a video where he has the grill top of a grill fucking rusting and sitting half buried in dirt at one point.

I legit don't get why he hoards grills.

Yeah I remembered that photo he posted at some point and there were about 7 BBQs and smokers arranged in a horseshoe and its what made me post

 

[realgone2]

Is 'grill and smoker collecting' even a thing? I can understand collecting stamps, pins, and fridge magnets because they tend to be collectables, and I can even understand collecting commodities and tools like guns, swiss army knives, lighters, etc. because they have a history to them and can always be tweaked with, but like, collecting grills and smokers?

What's the point and like why would you collect so many? A grill and smoker is like most kitchen appliances, you'll only ever need one or maybe two if you have a party. They don't have any history or resale value unless it's something like 'The Grill That Elvis Used In His Mansion's Backyard' but otherwise just random grills you buy in stores seems very pointless to me.

I've seen BBQ/grilling channels where the person has several different grills/smokers. Not entirely sure why, but I don't think they are collecting them like you would stamps or baseball cards.