Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[Every Crook and Nanny]

Y'all know that he is not wearing a mask around his gaping maw.

A moot point since the mask will be drenched in drool in no time, rendering it utterly useless and disgusting, just like its wearer.

 

[strandedcastaway]

Yeah, nothing better when you're barricaded in your house in a pandemic than looking outside and seeing a drooling idiot slobbering all over your sidewalk as he lurches by.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Sorry, I was just imagining the horror of a drooling slack face mouth breather using public transportation during an airborne viral pandemic and this just came to mind.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Y'all know that he is not wearing a mask around his gaping maw.

Christ. The one time of his life in which he could pass at a distance by wearing a mask to hide the train wreck.

god has answered your prayers Russ, and you choose to make chocolate milk muffin mouth volcanoes.

 

[DarkAlien]

80's called they want their keytar back. There will be sweet sweet foot moves guys!

 

[CWCissey]

80's called they want their keytar back. There will be sweet sweet foot moves guys!
View attachment 1245772

Russy Goes To Jail.

 

[badboy2000]

PLEASE film this alleged audition and show it to the world, Russell!

ETA: this keytar seems to be only a midi controller and does not have any presets. Get ready to pay up even more for a DAW, Russ.

 

[moorhen]

80's called they want their keytar back. There will be sweet sweet foot moves guys!
View attachment 1245772

I can’t wait for a video of him slapping the keys so hard we can barely hear him mumble while he shuffles around like a recently unearthed zombie, shirt covered in spit.

 

[FernandoPooTragedy]

80's called they want their keytar back. There will be sweet sweet foot moves guys!
View attachment 1245772

Thanks for explaining the rough concept of an instrument that has been around for forty years, Russ. I mean, you're still wrong since that keytar clearly lacks the range of a real piano, but still.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

So he's gonna show a powerpoint, and spazz around banging on a keytar. Yeah, they're not gonna show him in whatever TV show he auditions for, because they'd get accused of mocking speds.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Russ the Revisionist returns to Quora to rescript an answer he provided to a question in June 2019. Russ now claims he wanted to “shove [a] mop up [a] guy’s rear” and that quitting Walmart was “no big deal” because he was also “working in a mortgage company.”

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

80's called they want their keytar back. There will be sweet sweet foot moves guys!
View attachment 1245772

The fact that he bought this in hopes of winning a slot on a reality show and NOT for the novelty of owning a keytar just shows how out of touch he is from the generation he was born into. Good luck Boomer Jr.

 

[Iron Hamster]

PLEASE film this alleged audition and show it to the world, Russell!

Spy footage of his practice:

 

[AbraCadaver]

80's called they want their keytar back. There will be sweet sweet foot moves guys!
View attachment 1245772

This timeline is hilarious

 

[StinkySnack]

80's called they want their keytar back. There will be sweet sweet foot moves guys!
View attachment 1245772

So I just looked this keytar up, and it sells for around $350. Seems a little steep for Russ, no? Also, notice the picture is oddly cropped to hide what surrounds it. I'll bet he took a photo of the box in a store, and is just lying about purchasing it in an attempt to build hype.

 

[Sheherplight]

Oh frick

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Oh wow, super rad, maaaaaan, a keytar! Russ is gonna be the coolest studliest stud stumbling around a stage in a dishevelled suit, greasy wild hair and dripping maw, desperately slapping his keytar to hide the stubby at being allowed to show off in public where females may be watching.

So cooooool, dude! Like, rock on.

How can anyone be so fucking behind the times? I know grandparents who are more aware of current music and fashion trends that Russ is. Is he just remarkably sheltered, or actually autistic and culturally unaware?

We're fucked if he ever gets to the end of the 80s and discovers Vanilla Ice.

 

[cogsworth]

Oh wow, super rad, maaaaaan, a keytar! Russ is gonna be the coolest studliest stud stumbling around a stage in a dishevelled suit, greasy wild hair and dripping maw, desperately slapping his keytar to hide the stubby at being allowed to show off in public where females may be watching.

So cooooool, dude! Like, rock on.

How can anyone be so fucking behind the times? I know grandparents who are more aware of current music and fashion trends that Russ is. Is he just remarkably sheltered, or actually autistic and culturally unaware?

We're fucked if he ever gets to the end of the 80s and discovers Vanilla Ice.

You know, now that you mention it, I think he may actually be going backwards through culture. He already did the Vanilla Ice thing (remember his infamous bunny ranch photo, in the cap, with the hand signs?) and now we're in the 80's, so next stop would actually be the 70's.

 

[The Dude]

View attachment 1245298

Pro tip: Just like his trips to the gym to work out, his jogging story is total bullshit. He isn't jogging or even taking walks around his neighborhood. It's all just bullshit and lies in a vain grasp for attention.

Sorry, I was just imagining the horror of a drooling slack face mouth breather using public transportation during an airborne viral pandemic and this just came to mind.
View attachment 1245722

Russhole is more like a Pain Elemental, since only obnoxious, stupid things come out of his gaping mouth.

80's called they want their keytar back. There will be sweet sweet foot moves guys!
View attachment 1245772

A keytar, Russ? Seriously? The most pointless, obsolete boomer instrument you could possibly find is your secret weapon for getting onto AGT? I actually lived through the 80s and love a lot of the music of that period, and even I know how stupid keytars are.

I know why Russ bought one, or is at least thinking about getting one. He thinks that since a keytar has fewer keys than a keyboard or actual piano that he will be better at playing it. The fact that keytars have fewer keys means that they have less tonal range and thus are less versatile than a normal keyboard, and it also means you need to be MORE skilled to get the most out of them. And they're pretty much only useful for music styles of the 80s. So unless Russ is planning on playing Flock of Seagulls or A-ha cover songs, this is about the most useless instrument he could get. Seriously, he'd be better off playing a Hurdy-Gurdy or Theremin or even a fucking Kazoo. Oh wait, he can't blow into a Kazoo. Hell, he should play a Pyrophone Organ. At least that would put on a wicked fire display for people.

Russy Goes To Jail.

Hopefully, one day.

The fact that he bought this in hopes of winning a slot on a reality show and NOT for the novelty of owning a keytar just shows how out of touch he is from the generation he was born into. Good luck Boomer Jr.

The fact that he thinks he has any chance of getting a slot on AGT, even as a gag contestant for people to laugh at, shows how out of touch with reality he is. That is, if he actually is going to try and this isn't all just another ploy for attention.

 

[FernandoPooTragedy]

You know, now that you mention it, I think he may actually be going backwards through culture. He already did the Vanilla Ice thing (remember his infamous bunny ranch photo, in the cap, with the hand signs?) and now we're in the 80's, so next stop would actually be the 70's.

Russ's next musical influence: