Lolcows in Fiction (Books, TV, Movies, etc.)

[DavidFerrie]

Over the past few years, more than a few of us have noted the resemblance between OPL and Ignatius J. Reilly, antihero of A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES and a fictional lolcow par excellence.

Here are a couple of literary lolcows worth mentioning:

Don Quixote -- in many ways, the granddaddy of the type.
Horse Badorties, in William Kotzwinkle's novel THE FAN MAN -- Sort of a hippie Ignatius Reilly, but with a twisted character all his own (for one thing, he's a bit of a pedo).

What are some other examples of fictional lolcows you can name, from books, TV, or movies?

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Ignatius J. Reilly, antihero of A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES

Oh damn, you took my entry! I tried reading that book 10+ years ago and that guy just really depressed me :/

George Costanza was pretty lolcow worthy.

 

[Abethedemon]

Krusty the Klown hands down. He's a hypocrite, he can't read, he's offensive and yet everyone loves him.

 

[HypeBeast]

Cersei Lannister, she's always drunk and fucking things up when she believes she's being clever as fuck. Also all those weird inner monologues...

"Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, Your Grace. Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all pale sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs."

Bitch is crazy.

 

[Picklechu]

Meg Griffin.

 

[TheProdigalStunna]

Over the past few years, more than a few of us have noted the resemblance between OPL and Ignatius J. Reilly, antihero of A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES and a fictional lolcow par excellence.

Dammit, you beat me to it! A Confederacy of Dunces is one of my favorite books of all time, although it's a little saddening how much Reilly's life parallels the author's. I could tell there was a lot of projection in Ignatius on Toole's part, and I myself couldn't help but see myself in some of his long-winded monologues, which I think gives the work an emotional depth that the author probably never intended.

Some other great fictional lolcows:
Mark Corrigan from Peep Show (although he certainly has many redeeming values)
Thenardiers from Les Miserables
The Underground Man from Notes from Underground (arguably the prototype for Ignatius J. Reilly)
Nanami from Revolutionary Girl Utena (coincidentally, turns into a cow in one episode)

 

[XYZpdq]

Best fictional lolcow, that's easy, it's [REDACTED CLASSIFIED INTEL OF THE BATTLEFIELD]

 

[John Titor]

I feel Tatsuhiro Sato from Welcome to the NHK fits the bill:
- Believes that there is a grand conspiracy against him
- A NEET who locks himself up in his apartment living off the tugboat given to him by his parents
- Tried to be Internet famous
- Would fit right in with Wizardchan
- The show had an example of internet users A-logging each other to show how pathetic some people can be

The only thing that might disqualify him as a lolcow is the fact that he feels remorse.

 

[A Random]

Why are the Thénardiers lolcows?

 

[Jomadre]

Why not Zoidberg? (\/) ;,,; (\/)

 

[Dr. Meme]

Spoiler: Blue Pill

Jace

 

[Amo Bishop Roden]

A lot of the characters in Infinite Jest

Clipperton, Lenz, Poor Tony, maybe President Gentle
and then there's the whole Inner Infants thing

 

[John Titor]

I'm beginning to suspect Amelia Bedelia has undiagnosed autism.

Hm...

 

[Randall Fragg]

Eric Cartman. Fat, racist, stupid, sociopathic, and often gets trolled by the others.

 

[Ruin]

Harold in The Stand

1- Fat
2- Has neckbeard
3- Failed/pretentious writer
4- has rape murder fantasies about other characters
5- delusions of grandeur

 

[Randall Fragg]

Harold in The Stand

1- Fat
2- Has neckbeard
3- Failed/pretentious writer
4- has rape murder fantasies about other characters
5- delusions of grandeur

He's pretty much a post-apocalyptic version of @Connor

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Holden Caulfield - Catcher in the Rye (definitely autistic whiny faggot)
Quentin Compson - various Faulkner works, most famously the Sound and Fury and Absalom Absalom (bat shit crazy)
Forrest Gump - In the book he's not actully retarded but an idiot savant who goes on wacky adventures
Nick Twisp - Youth In Revolt (does a lot of wacky shit, pathological liar)

 

[Paladin]

Holden Caulfield - Catcher in the Rye (definitely autistic whiny faggot)

Holden Caulfield has PTSD, not autism.

 

[Overcast]

Kuroki Tomoko from Watamote. Or, It's Not My Fault I'm Not Popular!
As much as I can relate to her and her problems and feel bad for her. She exhibits so many traits of a lolcow.

In addition to being an otaku, her views on reality are warped, she does several weird things in order to become popular, she WANTED to be molested at one point, she uses a vacuum cleaner to give herself "hickies" in order to impress her cousin, she cheats at a children's card game to prove her superiority amongst middle schoolers, and she thinks really nasty things about pretty much everyone. Even her best friend who she deems a "slut" because she became bustier and got a boyfriend.

She also keeps making weird passes at her brother.

Spoiler

In context, she simply wants to prove that she has indeed, seen a man's penis for the sake of being popular. Still creepy though.

 

[Cynical]

Kuroki Tomoko from Watamote. Or, It's Not My Fault I'm Not Popular!
As much as I can relate to her and her problems and feel bad for her. She exhibits so many traits of a lolcow.

In addition to being an otaku, her views on reality are warped, she does several weird things in order to become popular, she WANTED to be molested at one point, she uses a vacuum cleaner to give herself "hickies" in order to impress her cousin, she cheats at a children's card game to prove her superiority amongst middle schoolers, and she thinks really nasty things about pretty much everyone. Even her best friend who she deems a "slut" because she became bustier and got a boyfriend.

She also keeps making weird passes at her brother.

Spoiler

In context, she simply wants to prove that she has indeed, seen a man's penis for the sake of being popular. Still creepy though.

Having seen this, I can't help but agree she's a lolcow, but not in the usual sense.

Most IRL lolcows tend to make public spectacles of themselves then cry and bitch about being laughed at. Tomoko has a severely crippling case of social anxiety disorder, so she's not exactly inclined to make an ass out of herself for fear of embarrassment/rejection/shame, but otherwise is so socially stunted OPL comes off normal by comparison, though they share a lot of overlap regarding whoring for attention, delusions of grandeur, relying on popular media for social instruction, and a lack of knowing proper social norms.

Her most lolcow trait would be her inability to realize this nor the disgust, horror, and confusion she causes others (like her brother) to regard her with as a result.