Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[Armitage]

He's flapping his hands against the keys like they're a couple of rotten starfish.

Any piano teacher would have a fit if they saw this video. CURVE the fingers! CURVE!

It might be that he can't play as a normal person, as one of the (more uncommon) effects of Möbius syndrome is having defects in your hands

 

[The Dude]

It might be that he can't play as a normal person, as one of the (more uncommon) effects of Möbius syndrome is having defects in your hands

I'd say that Russ' Möbius Syndrome fucked up more than just his hands. He's defective from head to toe, inside and out, especially his brain. Russ is about as defective as you can get (mentally defective especially) and still be able to live an independent life without some kind of tard wrangler or other adult supervision.

 

[Constellationzero]

Oh absolutely. On the extremely unlikely event that Russ were to have a sexual partner that he didn't have to pay, you know that their pleasure would never cross his mind. Their part of the act is to be an accommodating, welcoming receptacle for Russhole's tard knob, and to act excited and satisfied while Russ flops around on top of them like a beached fish for two or three minutes until he's done.



If Russ breaks his 90 second record, I'd be very surprised. He seems incapable of rubbing the few functional brain cells he has together long enough to write anything longer. Little man, small brain, tiny penis, short songs.

If memory serves, the hooker bounced on top of gourdtard (probably to avoid the onslaught of spit and the creepy corpse gaze).

 

[Rabid Weasels]

If the place that records his music has tiered prices based on the length of finished product, that will help you guess the length of his new song. But maybe he has $$$$ instead of $$$ because of the quarantine so who knows.

Also, a few months ago he showed a pic of his home studio (or a portion of it) and tried to play it off as being in an actual studio.

 

[Agoraphobic Bullshit]

I Don't Get You clocks in at 3:21.

It's hard for us to remember that it was that long. Most of us turned it off before the 90 second mark to preserve our sanity.

 

[The Dude]

If the place that records his music has tiered prices based on the length of finished product, that will help you guess the length of his new song. But maybe he has $$$$ instead of $$$ because of the quarantine so who knows.

Also, a few months ago he showed a pic of his home studio (or a portion of it) and tried to play it off as being in an actual studio.

God forbid that he put his CoronaBux towards something actually important, like his defense for his upcoming harassment trial.

 

[badboy2000]

What I love about that video is that he is bashing only two C# keys an octave apart, in known Russell fashion. The moment he takes his eyes of his left hand, he fucks it up and starts hitting D# and C. Not only once, but at least three times. Add to that the complete lack of rhythm and attempt to save it with a glissando. Some talent, that.

 

[Drool Fool]

I heard a saying once. “People will practice until they get it right. A musician will practice until they can’t get it wrong.”

Russell thinks his first attempt is perfect and deserving of worldwide fame and pussy.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

God forbid that he put his CoronaBux towards something actually important, like his defense for his upcoming harassment trial.

There's something profoundly disturbing watching someone as young as Russ fuck up their future through their own delusions, stupidity, and sheer pig-headed pride.
And then I remember who he is as a person- how shitty he is in general- and I suddenly don't feel so bad for him. This is a rod he's making for his own back.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

I didn't really recognize this as Russ' apartment at first, since he's been so adverse to furniture in the past. He showed off a photo of his keyboard balancing atop his minifridge, his computer (laptop?) on the floor, and only bothered to buy a (gross secondhand) loveseat because he thought a hooker was going to visit him.

Even seeing the cheap table didn't convince me it was really Russ' place until I saw the "Let's Eat" decor he presumably got for Christmas. Looks like hookers aren't the only thing he sacrifices $$$ and $$$$ to, unless his parents really sacrificed their own money to buy him a new desktop he can make music with. And I'm pretty doubtful of that considering their sick of this shit in general.

Maybe Russ really did buy a keytar after all.


Considering he's missing bones in some of his fingers he probably can't curve his fingers. It's very likely hard to do when some your fingers have the normal length and two joints and the rest are missing an entire bone and only have a single joint as a result. I suspect it's also the reason for his terrible handwriting, moreso than his paralyzed eyes.

I don't think that's his gear. The goofus would have no idea how to configure it if it was

 

[MysticMisty]

It might be that he can't play as a normal person, as one of the (more uncommon) effects of Möbius syndrome is having defects in your hands

He does, he's outright missing bones in some of his fingers. I don't know why his parent got Russ into playing an instrument at all, seeing as how even if they don't require you to blow into it to make the initial sound, they still require full range of the human hand to create the notes properly.

Actually now that I sit here and think about it, maybe he was taught the piano basics so he could learn about music in general in the hopes that Russ would one day write music instead of perform? If that was the case it backfired horribly since not only does Russ suck at it, but he shames the family with the subject matter of his "songs".

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

He does, he's outright missing bones in some of his fingers. I don't know why his parent got Russ into playing an instrument at all, seeing as how even if they don't require you to blow into it to make the initial sound, they still require full range of the human hand to create the notes properly.

Actually now that I sit here and think about it, maybe he was taught the piano basics so he could learn about music in general in the hopes that Russ would one day write music instead of perform? If that was the case it backfired horribly since not only does Russ suck at it, but he shames the family with the subject matter of his "songs".

Having kids learn the piano seems to be a Mormon thing, I knew a ton of Mormon piano players (and no Mormons that played any other instrument).

 

[wateryketchup]

He does, he's outright missing bones in some of his fingers. I don't know why his parent got Russ into playing an instrument at all, seeing as how even if they don't require you to blow into it to make the initial sound, they still require full range of the human hand to create the notes properly.

Personally, I believe that anyone can learn music if they have a true passion for it and (more importantly) work hard at it. If Russell did manage to learn how to play even with fucked up hands then that would be impressive. Once again it all comes down to his laziness and stupidity being worse than any physical defect he could have

 

[Kosher Salt]

Personally, I believe that anyone can learn music if they have a true passion for it and (more importantly) work hard at it. If Russell did manage to learn how to play even with fucked up hands then that would be impressive. Once again it all comes down to his laziness and stupidity being worse than any physical defect he could have

I'm pretty sure that Russ was given participation gold stars for everything he did. Nobody ever tried to encourage him to work harder or improve, because he's a tard, and they were just amazed at whatever shitty thing he did manage to produce.

If Russ was into art instead of music, he'd still be drawing at a preschooler's level, and we'd be comparing him to the mouth and foot painters. No matter what it was that he ended up doing, he'd suck at it; he doesn't try. He does the bare minimum and thinks it's the most amazing thing anyone's ever done.

 

[Cilleystring]

He's flapping his hands against the keys like they're a couple of rotten starfish.

Any piano teacher would have a fit if they saw this video. CURVE the fingers! CURVE!

Not exaggerating, that is probably the worst technique I've ever seen.

What I love about that video is that he is bashing only two C# keys an octave apart, in known Russell fashion. The moment he takes his eyes of his left hand, he fucks it up and starts hitting D# and C. Not only once, but at least three times. Add to that the complete lack of rhythm and attempt to save it with a glissando. Some talent, that.

Yeah those D#s killed me. Not that the interval sounds bad, but more that Russ doesn't even realize or care that he's all over the place, as he's too concerned with "look at how awesome I look"

I think the hand deformities caused by moebius would make it more difficult for him to play properly. That being said, he has enough dexterity in his hands to be able to play basic chords to poor timely rhythms. What hinders his ability to improve isnt the deformity, but his unwillingness to practice due to the perception that he is already amazing.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

I think the hand deformities caused by moebius would make it more difficult for him to play properly. That being said, he has enough dexterity in his hands to be able to play basic chords to poor timely rhythms. What hinders his ability to improve isnt the deformity, but his unwillingness to practice due to the perception that he is already amazing.

Maybe he could get one of those touchpad things and make really rockin' awesome Dubstep. It's a decade or so out of fashion, just like Russell. Of course, the only stuff he'd sample would be bullshit pop/adult alternative, so it would just sound like a homogenous slush pile.

 

[Toasty]

Where the magic happens.

View attachment 1250525

This clip is the keyboard equivalent of how rusty has sex with a prostitute. A few seconds of banging on one chord, and a disappointing climax.

 

[DrJonesHat]

This clip is the keyboard equivalent of how rusty has sex with a prostitute. A few seconds of banging on one chord, and a disappointing climax.

And now I visualized Rusty having sex. Give me your address, I'm sending you my therapy bill.

 

[AnOminous]

“How short to you think his latest "girls won't fuck pathetic lovers like me" jingle will be? Will this be Russ' first tune to break the 90 second mark?
-if he understood songwriting at all, his songs could have the same amount of content, more originality, be longer, catchier, more relatable, but no he just wants to pump out garbage.

He probably doesn't even know what the structure of a pop song is supposed to be. None of his shit has a middle eight or any recognizable song structure to it. It's just dumb, fucked up noodling.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

Maybe he could get one of those touchpad things and make really rockin' awesome Dubstep. It's a decade or so out of fashion, just like Russell. Of course, the only stuff he'd sample would be bullshit pop/adult alternative, so it would just sound like a homogenous slush pile.

He could get a chord organ too.