I see my wife is in a twitter fight today. I'd like to say a few words in her defense (go read
@ZJemptv for the full fight). It is perfectly possible to learn to rely on your intellect rather than hard work without being in gifted programs. I was in and out of advanced programs+ my whole life (we moved a LOT) and here's what happened in high school: I tested into advanced math but, in the words of the teacher, I "wasn't mature enough" to handle the extra work.
I also tested into advanced English and I guess they weren't concerned about my maturity. I did very well in there. In my math classes, there was one other girl who had gotten the scores for advanced placement but "lacked maturity." We both handled this the same way. We did our homework in the first ten minutes of class and then promptly put our heads down and slept, loudly and droolingly through the rest. We both got perfect scores on most or all of the tests. The math teachers all, very angrily, lectured the class about how studying was the only way you were going to pass this class and then, while the other girl and I were settling in for our naps, said "do NOT be like them!!!" or various iterations of the same. For four years.
Advanced and gifted programs were made for this reason. If you don't need the same amount of time and effort to learn stuff, you become a class disruption. The teacher is then burdened with having to find something to occupy your lazy ass or else explain you to the other students. Without being told that you're smart or whatever, you do not magically learn life skills like note taking. You might learn that you can nap all day, like I did, but you don't suddenly and magically get the message that you need to work harder to succeed.
In fact in my experience, it was the opposite. I actually had to take notes and work in my English and history classes because they gave me more challenging stuff that I couldn't just sleep through. You can't blame every shortcoming you have on your childhood. You gotta grow out of that. And you can call me a "boomer" or whatever for saying so, but them's the facts. Teachers, administrators, parents, etc. are just human. They have no way of divining what your specific neurological development requires for maximum development. They're just doing their best. Not everything is going to work for you and that doesn't mean the thing is wrong. Sometimes it means YOU need to fill in those blanks.