Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 198 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,395
Wings are the easiest food to replicate at home. Knowing Jack he must have 10+ OEM "influencer-promoted" chinese air fryers that can easily cook the wings, and we all know he has them Sam's Club/Costco sized jugs of ranch/blue cheese to guzzle with the wings.
wings are one of those things where even frozen grocery store wings usually taste decent enough if you’re too much of a fat shit to make them yourself. Not worth it at all to get curb side pickup during a pandemic. Fat Jack really wants to die.
 
you know jack and tammy will be the first ones through the door when TN restaurants open back up for dine-in

Good. GOOD!

Jack needs to be out and about as much as possible around as many people as possible. Hopefully he does lots and lots of Jack On The Go Shows. We all know how lucky this time of year is for dear old Jack...
 
I want someone to design me a cooking with Jack shirt. Jack's fat head in the middle. Pentagram surrounding. Demonic eyes. Evil text "Cook with Jack. Hail Satan"
Provided that a drawing of Jack's likeness isn't an obvious tracing of a pre-existing photograph he zero grounds to sue so would just have to live with some shirts like that existing
 
Fuck...Pink Chicken is doing JotG reviews now...not that it'll stop me from doing mine.
Eh, you can review the same things and still make it work. It's one of the blessings when it comes to just reviewing videos, since you usually will look at and observe different things.

Plus holy shit Jack fucks up so bad at all things you can usually focus on different fuck ups and still not cross paths.
 
What kind of fucking fool risks his life for mediocre pickup junk food when he's supposedly a professional cook anyway? He'd rather eat cold shitty Wild Wings trash than his own shitty food abortions, even if it means dying of the coof.
The best cook he knows would start a prison riot if he tried to make Nutraloaf. I don't blame him for wanting something better.
 
What kind of fucking fool risks his life for mediocre pickup junk food when he's supposedly a professional cook anyway? He'd rather eat cold shitty Wild Wings trash than his own shitty food abortions, even if it means dying of the coof.
Like I get sometimes not being fucked to cook or you just crave eating something; I love cooking and yet I still eat shit like Arby's or Wendy's since I want some roast beef or the lard. Sometimes I can't be fucked to deal with the mess either; messes like how good southern frying food makes. But in this environment?

I learned how to bake simple breads due to this since I can use it for things like chilis or curries. Fat Jack? He's being late on the "rip off recipe" trend, forcing wifey to get shit for him while claiming it's "quarantined" food or the rip-offs, and whining at places for not giving him a jug of ranch for free.

He is the ultimate loser.
 
Sauce for the Sauce God
Cheese- Szechuan- Buffalo
For the Ranch throne
Rabid dipping
The honour of noshing
Forward for your container, slurp
I will rip apart
I will drink your sauce
There is no honour without sauce
Eating in masses
As the slaughter progresses
Wings, Ribs, Raw brisket
Forward the nob, turn on high
I will rip apart
I will drink your sauce
There is no honour without sauce
Killing, killing, killing
With the knife and with the fork
Sauce for the Sauce God
 
I don't think Jack could even win a court case against Bake with Jack if Jack were to ever somehow find conflict with him due to similar names.

From a glance Bake with Jack seems to have a much higher budget than Jack overall and that implies he probably has a bit more money over him. Plus at the end of the day, all of this is at the expense of Tammy's wallet. Tammy would have to be on board with this otherwise she'll probably just snap and not let him waste money on a lawyer on a case that has a 90% chance to fail on him and make him look like an even greater idiot than before.
 
With that belly and purple shirt he looks exactly like a talking Sicilian eggplant

IMG_0462.JPG


Also,giving away "As seen on TV" shit as gift is something only a cheap fuck would do but hey,the Wendigo must eat
 
Imagine getting a meat thermometer for a present.
To be fair, I got one as a birthday present last year. Though I specifically asked for one because it was something I always wanted (because I do a fair bit of pork for the family, and pork chops are generally better when they reach safe temps, rather than when they look fully done) but never really felt like buying. One of those 'neat but survivable without' presents, rather than in Jack's case where it's like "well uhhh I guess get mommy a meat thermometer!! I'm a chef!!!"

Let's be honest, if you're turning to Jack for Mother's Day present ideas you're probably already gonna get the belt no matter what you do.

One of my favorite Jack tips, by the by, was "DON'T EVER STORE LEFTOVER PASTA/NOODLE SOUP WITH THE SAUCE!", completely ignoring the point of leaving pasta/noodle soup for a day. It always objectively improves the flavor, especially in smaller-quantity larger-surface pastas like penne. Come on mate.
 
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