DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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It's stuff like this that definitively proves the "I did nothing wrong, I did everything correct" is more than just a meme and not a character.
To Phil, as long as he's putting down "bad guys", he's already in the right, so he doesn't need to worry about any details. Just go as far as possible. It's why calling someone autistic is a "reasonable observation" but call Phil gross for his snorts and you get banned.
 
Mr. Gouty Olympia 2020.


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I haven't watched his streams the past few days, but from what I've seen his mood doesn't appear to have improved much since his debts were discharged. You'd think he'd be a little more upbeat considering he narrowly avoided financial ruin.
He would be more upbeat if he wasn't trapped in a job he hates, but he knows as well as we do that he's going to be sitting on his semen-soaked sofa begging for tips until the day he dies. He is completely unemployable, bankrupt morally and financially, and has no assets besides a condo he can't sell without destroying the last horcrux of piggy pride keeping his gin-soaked heart beating. He's going to sit there, getting older and fatter and weaker while Khet and Jasper get less and less satisfying to be around. The intervals between the stream and the Tanqueray will get shorter and shorter, and that elusive feeling of escape further and further away. His trolls will come and go, taking in the spectacle when they feel like it, but Phil is going to live this 8-12 hours a day forever. Someday an older, fatter, grayer Phil is going to be sitting on his couch and when the tip comes in from ShibbledyPibbles to troll him about when he jerked off 50 years ago Phil will be too weak to lean in for the manual ban and all his mods will have left him. He'll sit there, rocking more autistically than normal, but the strength won't come and he'll be forced to sit there as he slowly slips off the mortal coil, the last thing crossing his vision being a blurry superchat saying "HOW'S THE GOUT, PHIL?". And then, blackness. Not just from death, but because Tevin uses the streaming proceeds from his coverage of the Piggy Deathstream to finance one last hurrah in the form of blacking a desperate Khet right there on the couch of destiny.

And I think, in a way, Phil knows all of this.
 
I haven't watched his streams the past few days, but from what I've seen his mood doesn't appear to have improved much since his debts were discharged. You'd think he'd be a little more upbeat considering he narrowly avoided financial ruin.
There's always the consolation in that no matter how lucky Phil is, he'll never be happy. I don't think he would even if a paypig contributed a million dollars.
 
when "Phil's nut" tips phil he doesn't even write out the whole name "PN" but he sure will add it to the vest streak
 
I count at least $36 of apparently troll tips--Philsnut, PhilsNWord,snowkarl, and probably unbansnowkarl. If I include that unbansnowkarl one, it's $51, more than half.
Just remember: every day many, many children across the world turn thirteen years old.

Phil remembers. He's built a living on it, after all.
 
He would be more upbeat if he wasn't trapped in a job he hates, but he knows as well as we do that he's going to be sitting on his semen-soaked sofa begging for tips until the day he dies. He is completely unemployable, bankrupt morally and financially, and has no assets besides a condo he can't sell without destroying the last horcrux of piggy pride keeping his gin-soaked heart beating. He's going to sit there, getting older and fatter and weaker while Khet and Jasper get less and less satisfying to be around. The intervals between the stream and the Tanqueray will get shorter and shorter, and that elusive feeling of escape further and further away. His trolls will come and go, taking in the spectacle when they feel like it, but Phil is going to live this 8-12 hours a day forever. Someday an older, fatter, grayer Phil is going to be sitting on his couch and when the tip comes in from ShibbledyPibbles to troll him about when he jerked off 50 years ago Phil will be too weak to lean in for the manual ban and all his mods will have left him. He'll sit there, rocking more autistically than normal, but the strength won't come and he'll be forced to sit there as he slowly slips off the mortal coil, the last thing crossing his vision being a blurry superchat saying "HOW'S THE GOUT, PHIL?". And then, blackness. Not just from death, but because Tevin uses the streaming proceeds from his coverage of the Piggy Deathstream to finance one last hurrah in the form of blacking a desperate Khet right there on the couch of destiny.

And I think, in a way, Phil knows all of this.
And he'll be dead on stream, with his head cocked back for hours on end, because khet is at work, and zoomers will flood the channel with "eww dead old man"
 
And he'll be dead on stream, with his head cocked back for hours on end, because khet is at work, and zoomers will flood the channel with "eww dead old man"
And then poor old Khet would be harassed by detractors sending her emails containing the audio clip "YOUR PARTNER DIED AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" for the rest of her life, and it would be Phil's only legacy
 
Barely even started paying off his BMW either
Yup. Phil has a BMW. He has a collection of sports cars to make Jay Leno jealous.

Or wait, Phil hasn't had a BMW in years. And it was leased. Phil has a Toyota Corolla.

His car ownership was thoroughly discussed during the Subaruman arc.
 
And he'll be dead on stream, with his head cocked back for hours on end, because khet is at work, and zoomers will flood the channel with "eww dead old man"
He would get reported as dead when he left the 2nd stream live because there is no difference to his normal stream.
Just kidding. Report after 5 minutes because he hasn't insulted anyone for a couple seconds.

Speaking of insults, I mostly try to STAY BACK from Phil and every related khantent but I happened to click into Theo for a couple minutes and got instantly motivated to undo my click.
Phil is toxic as fuck! Leave him alone for a day and he chimps out. Not only the before mentioned flailing when he got informed about his mathematical mistake (Waaaauuuw) but also his never ending blaming of detractors, combined with the retelling of his successful history whenever he gets the chance to (usually I barely pay attention to that but his defence mechanisms are off the charts lately).

He was the guy who told you every detail of his life, but then he matured and stopped. Because of those stupid detractors!

He can't tell you about his finances.
Because detractors!
(but he can beg)

He can't give any information on anything to the internet.
Because detractors!

He's limited because of us sick fucks and dickheads who use his informations to spin it negatively and screw him over.


While I don't necessarily disagree with the basic message here, STOP. Every child learns you don't put too much information on the internet, it can be used against you, by one party or another. YOU decided to be an online personality and give out those informations, YOU decided to be a negative asshole for the shock value, people like drama (just going with YOUR story, Phil) and you decided to attack people and went into victim complex when the monster went too strong. And instead of dealing with it like a grown up man, you continued your "shtick" (aka your real toxic man-child personality) and nourished your hater base. And this went on to this day, nothing changed. All you did was to hide under a rock and cry victim because you're too afraid to face criticizm and responsibilities.

Phil, you pussy of a swine, right this moment you put your head under a guillotine and yell "Only sick fucks would pull the lever. Ah mah gahd, all of you are idiots and complete morons. Ack ack ack. PS don't pull the lever". Then someone who has enough of you pulls it and your flying head yells "Waaauw, nothing I could do". Yes you could, for example not building the guillotine YOURSELF. You get mad and crazy about the most mundane questions, you chimp out when someone even hints at making fun of you. Your fragile personality couldn't even deal with a harmless question about the color of your socks. You can't even apologize after an unnecessary rant because your general attitude is garbage, you don't think of what you've done, you just pat your shoulder and sniff your own farts. You are so head deep in your own ass you can't see reality anymore.

I would've refrained from insults if my intention was to help Phil. He can't be helped, ever. There is no "unless".
 
My bad, he has a Corolla that he's barely started to pay off
He's paid about half of it off. He got a 72 month (6 year) loan on it in 2017. He'll have it paid off by like June/July 2023 :lol:
Edit: That's if he doesn't miss any payments.
 
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One of the more annoying aspects of Phil, for me, is how he will jump at any chance to whine about how much he busts his ass. That streaming is a "real job" , etc. But when someone asks him to do a special challenge in a game, or to play something besides Minecraft and Animal Crossing, it's always: I JUST WANT PLAY GAMES AND RELAX DOOD! WHY WOULD I PLAY A GAME TO DO WORK?
 
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