Towards the end of the lifetime of a star, when it starts running out of fuel, it expands in size in to a red giant, bigger in size than it was ever before. If a star is big enough, it may explode in a supernova explosion but often they just get to a point where the outer layers gradually drift away. What is left is a small core called a white dwarf, kept at a certain size because of something called degeneracy pressure. This will persist for a while but the star will grow no bigger than this and gradually burn up and lose whats left.
Now replace "star" with e-celeb, "fuel" with ideas, "red giant" with largest possible fanbase, "a supernova explosion" with widespread success among schoolchildren, "outer layers" with non-paying listeners, "white dwarf" with paypig hugbox and "degeneracy pressure" with... actually that one still works.
You forget the best part. When that fraction of what is left of the star cools, it gradually gets dimmer and dimmer until there is no longer enough heat to provide any kind of luminesce at all. It becomes a black dwarf. It fades into the background of empty space, invisible to both the naked eye and any kind of conventional telescope, almost like they have been erased from the history of space-time due to irrelevance, like all the ones that came before. There, it will sit and deteriorate due to hawking radiation until either the last atoms phase-shift out of existence or the heat death of the universe.
Meanwhile, other stars will continue to burn. Brightly. Brilliantly. Some will come and go, while others will forever change the canvas of the universe with their power and presence. But some stars are destined to become a black dwarf, no matter how brightly they shine for a short period of time.
Ralph, however, is not a G, K, or even M class star. No, he never shined bright enough, nor long enough. Ralph is, at best, a Y class star. Otherwise known as a brown dwarf. These technically aren't even stars, more commonly referred to as proto-stars, or in the case of L and Y class stars, failed stars. These did not start out as stars and die off quickly. No, they failed the very process to become stars, even though all the necessary requirements and ingredients were met and fulfilled. Somehow, despite having every opportunity to shine, instead they emit a sickly glow barely enough to register if you were to look at it directly from twenty feet away, and they are by far the most common types of stars in our galaxy, and likely the universe as a whole. Yet, these, too, shall become black dwarves in the end.
That is what Ralph is. Common. Failed at attaining greatness, even when he was handed the opportunity to shine brightly. He will warm no bodies surrounding him. He will generate no energy beyond his own body heat. He will make no spectacular contribution to the night sky. He came from nothing, was given everything, and failed. He will return to nothing, and nobody will ever remember he was even there in the first place.
TL;DR: Ralph is a nigger dwarf.
