Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dave Meltzer]

One of the more odd videos Jack posted back in the day.

What would you do if some jerk parked too close to you? If you're Jack you dry hump your vehicle.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

One of the more odd videos Jack posted back in the day.

What would you do if some jerk parked too close to you? If you're Jack you dry hump your vehicle.

Tammy's not giving Jack any coochie so he has to resort to fucking his car. A tale as old as time itself.

 

[The Cum Consumer]

One of the more odd videos Jack posted back in the day.

What would you do if some jerk parked too close to you? If you're Jack you dry hump your vehicle.
View attachment 1299968

The dumbass was the one who parked crooked in the first place. Also, how fucking tacky are those decals? "Not of this world: Jesus", "THE BEST BARBECUE SAUCE YOU'LL EVER TASTE!"

 

[Aaway]

How does it keep happening to a tech genius?!

can't wait for "cooking with girl" to make a comeback!

 

[Kosher Salt]

someone asked him why his bbq sauce has a jelly consistency. he says its because he doesn't add any water, vinegar, or lemon juice to it. "its more of a gourmet sauce than a bbq sauce...no one wants to buy the world's best gourmet sauce, they want bbq sauce."

Why the fuck does Jack need to lie about something so trivial? This is from his Amazon listing page, it lists the ingredients and it contains both water and vinegar. And I'm not even counting the ingredients in the ketchup and mustard.

Tammy's not giving Jack any coochie so he has to resort to fucking his car. A tale as old as time itself.

Maybe @Half-dude could give him some pointers.

 

[KiwiJoe]

lol this one was full of gold

someone asked him why his bbq sauce has a jelly consistency. he says its because he doesn't add any water, vinegar, or lemon juice to it. "its more of a gourmet sauce than a bbq sauce...no one wants to buy the world's best gourmet sauce, they want bbq sauce."

jack says these hackers are from kosovo. "i've had many different countries try to attack me." he claims he has no idea how he was hacked and now he can't get rid of them. jack doesn't want to admit he tried buying followers and likes again

jack gets triggered because someone asks how a guy who runs a tech channel could get hacked twice. "explain to me how i can sit here and breathe and get hacked." he continues to blame the hacking on facebook security flaws

jack says he's realized that facebook was a big waste of his time. interesting thing to say considering that's literally all he does

he calls out facebook's new fact checking system for removing freedom of speech and being the work of leftists

someone comments about the new PC&LM podcast episode and jack, clearly knowing about the podcast, starts talking about his new social media marketing video before qucikly changing the subject

jack says he's got a "gaming sponsor" and is doing a video on the best food for gamers with jack jr

"i've had food addictions." you still do fatty

someone asks why he calls sugar poison when he still eats carbs and sugar. "do you want to come to my house and see my stuff?"

jack again gets triggered because someone asks how a guy with a tech channel could get hacked. "i'm not a tech guy. i don't claim to know anything about tech." thank you captain obvious

someone asks if there's anywhere jack wants to travel to. "i want to go to italy and i want to go to israel." el o fucking el. jack in israel: "so where can i sign up to napalm the palestinians?"

Ironically Kosovo is one of the few Muslim majority countries in Europe (EU jokes aside) but I bet that fact would fly over his head and he wouldn't know and thinks its a completely Christian country because they're white.

Also, Italy and Israel? My fucking sides.

First thing he'd do in Italy is to try claim his Italian heritage to get free shit, complain that not every food is overloaded with smoked half-cooked meat and butter, complain about Euros being too small for his fat fingers to use (each Euro bill varies in size IIRC) touch everything and end up having to leave the country early after pissing off too many Italians. Also he'd probably spend more time eating at global chains in Italy like McDonald's instead of famous local owned restaurants.

Nah, we all know Jack is too lazy and cowardly to actually fight and kill Palestinians himself, even if it's as easy as holding an Xbox 360 Drone Controller and pressing X. More likely he'll try work for the IDF as a cook and get kicked off when he kept insisting on cooking smoked pork ribs (that are raw anyways) to the Jewish soldiers.

Then ending up getting actually killed by a Palestinian boy throwing rocks at him because his body is already so weakened.

 

[Adamska]

someone asked him why his bbq sauce has a jelly consistency. he says its because he doesn't add any water, vinegar, or lemon juice to it. "its more of a gourmet sauce than a bbq sauce...no one wants to buy the world's best gourmet sauce, they want bbq sauce."

Since @Kosher Salt covered how Fat Jack had to lie about why his sauce is jelly like, allow me to reveal the 3 or so minutes I spent researching on reasons why his sauce is so thick.

He either is refusing to add in that he uses corn starch or pectin as a thickening agent, or he has too much dry ingredients (onion powder is especially known to be a thickener by comparison to most dries). In the case of the former, it's just him being a goon wanting it to just be a thick lacquer for ribs. It's fine to use thickeners if that's the consistency you want, but his is stupidly chunky. Fixing this is dirt simple btw; reduce or remove the thickeners.

In the case of the latter, it's a sign he either isn't putting in enough liquids into the mix, or he reduces the sauce too much or has the heat up too high on his batch cooking, since that type of thickening mainly happens when the room is cooler or its chilled, while when warm it should still be a thick sauce. It's a sign it's not hydrated enough.

 

[captkrisma]

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Ironically Kosovo is one of the few Muslim majority countries in Europe (EU jokes aside) but I bet that fact would fly over his head and he wouldn't know and thinks its a completely Christian country because they're white.

Also, Italy and Israel? My fucking sides.

First thing he'd do in Italy is to try claim his Italian heritage to get free shit, complain that not every food is overloaded with smoked half-cooked meat and butter, complain about Euros being too small for his fat fingers to use (each Euro bill varies in size IIRC) touch everything and end up having to leave the country early after pissing off too many Italians. Also he'd probably spend more time eating at global chains in Italy like McDonald's instead of famous local owned restaurants.

I also feel like Jack would annoy the locals by speaking nothing but English, then complain about portion size in Europe, and how there isn't a true all-you-can eat buffet. Big T, on the other hand, would be getting her fill of Italian sausage...if ya know what I'm sayin'

 

[KiwiJoe]

I also feel like Jack would annoy the locals by speaking nothing but English, then complain about portion size in Europe, and how there isn't a true all-you-can eat buffet. Big T, on the other hand, would be getting her fill of Italian sausage...if ya know what I'm sayin'

Most major EU countries like Italy, Germany, and France that receive a lot of visitor travel don't mind English that much if I recall. You can pretty much get by in those countries with minimal native language there as long you're in the most visited areas which is what Jack would do. Those areas have the best tourist infrascture and it would keep him satisfied linguistically. Thankfully I don't think he's rich enough to hire a translator to follow him around on this proposed journey.

What Jack will do to piss off Italians is trying to consider himself to be on equally as Italian as the people who live there. He'll bring up his 40% Italian blood and when he reviews food that isn't from the McDonalds he'll complain to the restaurants and claim he knows everything about Italian food, then bringing up how much of a 'food authority' he is. Then he'll bring up Olive Garden and shit they don't know about before they start to have problems with him. I can't even imagine what would happen if Jack pisses off a migrant gang by insulting their kebab shops either.

I do think its likely that if Jack was in Italy and did his usual routine he would be more likely to get kicked out of a restaurant than in the US. After all that's a country with a strong food culture and you don't fuck with that shit. Jack is lucky he doesn't have French blood in him because he'd be more likely to get stabbed in the gut by a pissed off Frenchman wielding an Opinel knife after witnessing his recipes.

 

[Officer Eradicate]

10$ says Jack dies before Christmas 2020

 

[Slimy Time]

Most major EU countries like Italy, Germany, and France that receive a lot of visitor travel don't mind English that much if I recall. You can pretty much get by in those countries with minimal native language there as long you're in the most visited areas which is what Jack would do. Those areas have the best tourist infrascture and it would keep him satisfied linguistically. Thankfully I don't think he's rich enough to hire a translator to follow him around on this proposed journey.

What Jack will do to piss off Italians is trying to consider himself to be on equally as Italian as the people who live there. He'll bring up his 40% Italian blood and when he reviews food that isn't from the McDonalds he'll complain to the restaurants and claim he knows everything about Italian food, then bringing up how much of a 'food authority' he is. Then he'll bring up Olive Garden and shit they don't know about before they start to have problems with him. I can't even imagine what would happen if Jack pisses off a migrant gang by insulting their kebab shops either.

I do think its likely that if Jack was in Italy and did his usual routine he would be more likely to get kicked out of a restaurant than in the US. After all that's a country with a strong food culture and you don't fuck with that shit. Jack is lucky he doesn't have French blood in him because he'd be more likely to get stabbed in the gut by a pissed off Frenchman wielding an Opinel knife after witnessing his recipes.

The restaurants in Italy put up "no Chinese allowed" when coronavirus kicked off. If restaurants are willing to bar a whole race of people from eating at their establishment, then kicking out a fat, stroke ridden asshole of an American will be no problem for them.

The claiming of his Italian heritage to get free shit and complaining about portion sizes will piss them off to no end. He's as Italian as he is black. Italian meals serve courses, antipasti, primi, segundi and desserts and alcohol. If you go for the full experience, you will be more than full.

 

[salmonellajack]

Gourmet sauce hahahahaha.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

someone asks if there's anywhere jack wants to travel to. "i want to go to italy and i want to go to israel." el o fucking el. jack in israel: "so where can i sign up to napalm the palestinians?"

Obnoxiously cruising the streets of Florence and Jerusalem on a mobility scooter should be a deportable offence.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Gourmet sauce hahahahaha.

First ingredient: Ketchup

 

[LetterlandMafia]

In the case of the latter, it's a sign he either isn't putting in enough liquids into the mix, or he reduces the sauce too much or has the heat up too high on his batch cooking, since that type of thickening mainly happens when the room is cooler or its chilled, while when warm it should still be a thick sauce. It's a sign it's not hydrated enough.

I'll bet everything on it being he has the heat up too high. I'm not sure he's aware that ovens and stoves have settings between High and Off. Everything he cooks, especially meat, he ruins this way.

What Jack will do to piss off Italians is trying to consider himself to be on equally as Italian as the people who live there. He'll bring up his 40% Italian blood and when he reviews food that isn't from the McDonalds he'll complain to the restaurants and claim he knows everything about Italian food, then bringing up how much of a 'food authority' he is. Then he'll bring up Olive Garden and shit they don't know about before they start to have problems with him. I can't even imagine what would happen if Jack pisses off a migrant gang by insulting their kebab shops either.

Restaurants in Italy are also heavily regional, even ones located in more touristy areas. They tend to serve dishes specific to the region of Italy the restaurant is in, and Italian-American dishes like Spaghetti & Meatballs are especially rare. This catches a lot of people out and I expect Jack would be no exception.

On the topic of heritage, that reminds me of a trip I made to Italy last year. While sat in a cafe in Como there were some American students on the other table talking about their heritages. Was amusing to hear several of them talk about how Italian they were, yet needed the waiter to speak English for them.

Thankfully I don't think Jack will be able to leave the US anytime in the near future. Relying on tugboats from Tammy and Jack Jr and spunking it all away on takeout meals doesn't help towards the cost of something that is already expensive for a lot of Americans.

 

[a terminal posture]

Why the fuck does Jack need to lie about something so trivial? This is from his Amazon listing page, it lists the ingredients and it contains both water and vinegar. And I'm not even counting the ingredients in the ketchup and mustard.
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Maybe @Half-dude could give him some pointers.

Ingredients are listed in order by descending weight. If water is coming after 'spices', that's a trivial amount of water.

 

[Aaway]

only if someone's a clueless idiot like you are jack

 

[Kosher Salt]

Ingredients are listed in order by descending weight. If water is coming after 'spices', that's a trivial amount of water.

Have you seen the way Jack uses spices, though?

 

[Rod Dangerous]

The Cooking With Jack Facebook page has been removed.



I assume it will return once Facebook removes the Kosovar hackers and reinstates Jack as its admin.

Jaxtaposition at its finest.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Jaxtaposition at its finest.
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Jack is such a living meme