DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[TeeDee1622]

I don't want him to fail exactly. I'm not sitting here waiting for the day Phil has to leave twitch and is gone forever. Lolcows are meant to be laughed at, but for the first time in a long time, there's really nothing funny here. That's my point. As for phil sitting here at 70 years old with a vest and gunnar glasses, after everything that's happened this year, you really gonna sit there and tell me you can't see that happening?

at this rate Null will be arrested for terrorism and Kiwifarms will be shut down before Phil even thinks about having to get a job. man truly is the king.

I’ve noticed since I’ve been checking out KiwiFarms that the amount of posts on this thread has hugely decreased since his bankruptcy went through. I’ve been feeling the same way, it’s just not that funny anymore. Yes he has a horrible life but he really has won lately. He’s deleted hundreds of thousands in debt and has been getting more money than ever. Let’s be real, the only thing that makes him happy is money. He still might fuck up but I’ve got the feeling that it’ll be a while until anything truly funny happens with him soon.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

Remember he had a tax funds raising thing, and more than likely used all of that to fly Kat to Washington multiple times, and then finally to move her out to Washington. Why would his fans care about him lying about his money troubles and using the funds on WWE Champions? They literally don't care.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

There's really no reason to envy Phil. You need to look at his micro wins in the broader scheme of things. For example, I have far more assets and frankly future prospects than Phil despite earning quite a bit less in the past. Where has that high income got him? on that couch with no transferable skills, with the health profile of someone 15-20 years older, an unemployable discharged bankrupt with the impulse control of a toddler.

Phil's life is a tragic tale, only made watchable because it's happening to someone who clearly deserves it.

You might have boring things like assets and future prospects, but how high do you rank in WWE Champion events?

In all seriousness, Phil being "successful" isn't exactly a new trend. I don't think it makes him any better/worse of a cow. Let's say things went south and Phil had to sell his condo and give up his mobile gaming. He'd still be on Twitch doing the exact same thing he's doing now, it would just be from a smaller apartment. I'm sure he'd be pretty salty and ramping up detractor complaints, but it's not like that would mark some special new era in DSP's life. He's a cow because he already does that, whether he is making money or not.

Switching gears to Phil being protected, I don't think he's given any special immunity status, I think he's "protected" more because he's just that boring/miserable of a person. Short of committing arson and burning down his condo, what can you really do? Harass him so he never leaves his house? Chase away his friends? Ruin his business prospects? Destroy his professional reputation? Phil's already done that all to himself.

That might also be why Phil feels stale or boring. I think Phil's cow content is about as dynamic as his streaming content, not at all. That's why when there is a new saga, it is a breath of fresh air and people get excited, but even when it goes poorly in his favor, like losing his partnership, it pretty quickly defaults back to the usual Phil stuff. It's natural to get bored of that. I think most cows are honestly like that. If you're bored, take a break, watch some other cows, and then come back when Phil's usual stuff feels fresh again. On the off chance something big happens, it'll probably make the front page again.

 

[Schrödinger's Kat]

AMAC just gave him $60 as usual despite him already having gotten around $550 today

Here's the thing. Let's not get angry over these whales throwing money at Phil. These idiots will find some exceptional way to part with their money whether or not Phil even existed.

Phil will eventually screw up again and we will get to watch it and laugh. And you know what? These whales are funding our entertainment, keeping Phil just above water and able to continue streaming himself being a complete loser, sitting on his greasy couch looking miserable playing video games for everyone to see, and we get to enjoy it all free-of-charge, because the paypigs are paying for it.

Also, Phil is a money black hole, so any money given to him just basically ceases to exist from the universe. It doesn't help him or benefit his stream in any way. You get the same result whether he gets $100 a day or $1000.

 

[Anonymous Dimwit]

He can't beg his way out of a heart attack.

I hope.

Money and my chest are tight right now...
Also thank you to Nige for yet another amazing dox.

 

[Gramh]

The problem I think with DSP, is that all he has left to fuck over is himself and his wife who might not even still be there, and maybe his fans but at this point I believe they enjoy it (wouldn't be the first or last time that simps/paypigs tossed money questionably at a stranger on the internet that they were fascinated by). He's fucked over his family, he's fucked over his friends, he's fucked over almost his entire previous fanbase, he's fucked over any good will to collaborate with other content creators, he's fucked over sponsors, and he's reaped what he's sown with all of it and there really isn't much left to the man himself. So it is suspenseful watching him dance with that last thread like the bankruptcy, but outside of that he's just making it through day to day now till the next dance.

 

[Muppetmode]

I expect this streaming trend will suddenly die one day in the next few years, similar to Youtube where everyone will instantly make like half the money they do now and Phil isn't successful enough to overcome that. Or Phil will just get banned one day due to something we never considered because he technically does break Twitch TOS numerous ways every day.

Who knows with Phil, though. He legit has a bugged luck stat that's carried him this far.

The difference between twitch and YouTube is that twitch isn’t just run off ad money, so bar some major drama with twitch/amazon itself I don’t think it’s in danger of dying any time soon

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

The difference between twitch and YouTube is that twitch isn’t just run off ad money, so bar some major drama with twitch/amazon itself I don’t think it’s in danger of dying any time soon

Twitch has other ways of doing this, though. They could ban tips being allowed on their streams whatsoever. Take bigger cuts out of cheers. Force some subscription method.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

This exact quote. We all have to understand that we are all here to point and laugh. If you think he's boring then walk away, take a break and live life. Phil ain't going anywhere cuz he can't go anywhere. He got what he wanted...so what; after everything that has happen he's actually been extra salty, extra spergy, extra stupid negative dumbass he's always been. We also must understand that at the end of day, Phil's most hated detractor is Phil himself; give it time he'll fuck up again....

Strongly agree with this post. Literally doesn't matter that he's raking in so much cash recently.
Makes $100 playing fucking Mario and all he's concerned with is how there are peepul in his chat making fun of his Corona hot takes.
The war was won a long time ago, where once you had to be concerned with Phil's opinion actually reaching a wide audience as a member of Machinima, now he's holed up in one of the furthest corners of the internet as a complete laughing stock. Now he can only survive by pretending to be a confused, harmless grandpa to a handful of viewers, with most of his only fans simply contrarians who get a hard-on from giving money to one of the most lambasted gamers on the internet.
This community can't grow, Phil's sense of humor is so bitter that he can't banter, and he lacks the creativity or enthusiasm to actually engage with his viewers beyond "what game will you pay me money to see?". Any question like "Phil, have you seen <Movie>?" is instantly shot down by NO. He might be making plenty of money but his community is stagnant, especially if the Vest Streak is the only example of an "organic gag" you can get (which is just another variation of giving Phil money). He's pissed his own reputation down the drain a long time ago, he'll always be stuck in his little corner. He'll blame the detractors but he simply no longer has the motivation to clearing the infamy from his name.
TL;DR: It doesn't matter what "victories" Phil has anymore, he'll always remain a resentful, bitter man who only survives by wringing pity from people, rather than truly building anything.

 

[DZoomer]

he's fucked over his friends

Now that you mentioned it, that's a pretty good one that I tend to gloss over whenever I'm feeling mad that he's not reaping what he has sown.

I've recently stopped to actually listen to that talk by John Rambo and Howard. I still didn't listen to all of it, but the things I heard were pretty eye-opening.

I honestly thought this whole "Phil is such a greedy pig" thing was just Kiwi Farms exaggerating things, but Jesus Christ, during that video Howard has so may meltdowns saying how much of a greedy bastard Phil is. And how people can't trust him and so on.

There's that famous study by Harvard about happiness, in which they concluded that the single most important thing that makes people happy are relationships. And Phil has none, except for his faux marriage, that anyone can see is loveless.

He's almost 40 and has literally no friends. He has to deal in his daily lives with many literal kids that he knows are problematic (we all know that he has probably read through that thread in which his fans' doxes are).

In the end, Phil may get to survive by being a beggar and a clown. But this is a man with a huge ego that deep inside knows he's a joke, and he doesn't even have friends to talk to and to make him feel better.

I'll still get away from following him closely, because we're getting to that usual hiatus betwenn arcs in which nothing interesting is happening, until Phil's next fuck-up. But at least I'll do it knowing that Phil will never be an actual "winner", since he hates his life and is alone.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

I’ve noticed since I’ve been checking out KiwiFarms that the amount of posts on this thread has hugely decreased since his bankruptcy went through.

Yeah I’ve noticed this as well, I couldn’t care less about his bankruptcy but I barely have anything to say here because he’s just super boring lately, and he’s been in such a perpetual bad mood I’ve lost the plot.

Would be nice if overall interest in him decreased to the point that his fans also moved on, I’m waiting for the day he only gets 100 viewers on stream and is clinging to like 3 whales to provide 90% of the income lol

 

[MoonRocker]

Another thing to take into account is the more boring Phil gets, the less will people want to look at a fading trainwreck and simply spend their time with other more active and entertaining shitshows. As his notoriety decreases, so does his ability to gain new viewers or people wanting to participate/ look into the shitshow that is his life.

Here's the deal with Phil and "winning:" everything this loser does must be looked at in context.

Do you consider getting a Chapter 7 bankruptcy granted as a win? You shouldn't because you should never have been in this position in the very first place if you were Phil. He's not running a complex business that involves paying payroll, managing employees, generating new business opportunities, and other business-related activities. He's literally sitting at home playing video games in a shitty little office and he still managed to bankrupt himself. That's fucking embarrassing. Because it demonstrates to the world that even though you're extremely lucky to be in the situation that you're in, you still couldn't manage it properly. He's failed all his life financially and it's not gonna stop now.

You think him owning a house that was originally worth $350,000 is a "win?" Phil lives in Washington, the median income is relatively high due to the tech jobs where Phil's assets just make him into another random middle-income Average Joe; Phil's house is an hour away from the only interesting place in that state, Seattle, and this lazy loser doesn't even take advantage of what city life can offer. He's basically become a disgusting recluse who lives in suburbia and only interacts with a wife who undoubtedly doesn't like him and a cat who's been mutilated. He's sheltered himself into the buttfuck of middle nowhere America because he's so scared to lose the meager gains that he's acquired throughout the years, he's forsaken any chance at a normal life. It's incredibly pathetic.

To me, Phil is a man who has given up on obtaining and managing every aspect of a well-balanced, sociable, enjoyable, and happy life in order to momentarily keep a profession that enables his laziness. And that's incredibly depressing. Life should never be about settling for what you have so you get to stay comfortable in your comfort zone while constantly avoiding any opportunity to challenge yourself. Phil has missed on so many opportunities and life events over the last 12 years, he'll never get them back. He has locked himself into a situation that's akin to a death sentence in slow motion.

DSP is a scared little boy stuck in a fat man's body and fear rules every aspect of his life; drives every decision that he makes; and prevents him from ever changing who he is. He's scared of his future; he's scared of his ability to generate money for the next 15-20 years; he's scared of losing his house; he's scared of losing his wife; he's scared of going outside; he's scared of meeting people; he's scared of changing his autistic routine; he's scared of taking risks; he's scared of being bad at games; he's scared of being thought of as a geek or a nerd; he's scared of other people's opinions of him; he's scared of doing anything that would require him to get out of his comfort zone. This level of complacency and unwillingness to change makes him into a bonafide loser who'll never achieve significant in his life. What you see with DSP is what you'll get in 30 years. The man has given up on life in general. Just be happy that you're not him nor are in his situation if you're still willing to try and take risks to improve your life.

I don't follow Phil because I want him to fail. I follow Phil because I have never had the opportunity to gain such an intimate insight into one of the most pathetic livelihoods I've ever witnessed in my entire life.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Phil will never be an actual "winner", since he hates his life and is alone.

What you fail to realize is that the feeling of cooming to a WWE Champions wrestler you paid $20000 for far eclipses any sensation you or I might know as "pleasure". Phil lives in a state of exaltation we can only dream of.

 

[Schrödinger's Kat]

Yeah. I'm quickly losing interest because Phil is just winning and winning and winning in 2020. Everything is going his way and it's not fun to follow anymore

Phil is having the best year of his life while the rest of the world is having their worst. Yet Phil throws a tantrum because he has to wear a mask while in public one hour per week so other people don't have to die of lung failure. Not to mention even Trump tipped him at least $1000 with the economic stimulus check. Don't remember seeing that on the leaderboard.

Who knows, maybe when the rest of the world goes back to normal, Phil will be left behind.

 

[Ted’s Lolcow Emporium]

I don’t know if anyone else saw, but during the MW 2 campaign tutorial he just decided to randomly go up to a black guy playing basketball and stabbed him. Another piece of evidence for the Phil fearing blacks idea?

 

[Freedom Fighter]

He's never gratefull, not matter how much tard cum speds throw his way.

He's low energy and boring when cash doesn't rain; he's low energy and boring when covered in autism cum.

The only thing he knows about grateful is when his finances are great and his wallet full.

 

[PutridElephant]

Being asked to wish his viewers a happy Ramadan is apparently absolutely disgusting

 

[ReentryPhantom]

Phil is having the best year of his life while the rest of the world is having their worst. Yet Phil throws a tantrum because he has to wear a mask while in public one hour per week so other people don't have to die of lung failure. Not to mention even Trump tipped him at least $1000 with the economic stimulus check. Don't remember seeing that on the leaderboard.

Who knows, maybe when the rest of the world goes back to normal, Phil will be left behind.

Where did Phil get his mask from I wonder?

 

[TeeDee1622]

I think there are still some occasions that provide good salt. In the past year or so I’m thinking of CTR, Sekiro, Doom Eternal, and RE 2 Remake come to mind as great moments. The problem lately is he is playing boring RPGs, chill games, and soulsbourne knock offs. The problem with soulsbourne clones is he can just claim they suck and can pretend he actually likes From Software games.

The next 2 upcoming games for good salt are the new From Software game which will drive him crazy between pretending he is a true good hardcore gamer who likes From Software games and bitching about dying hundreds of times. It will drive him crazy. The other one is Cyberpunk 2077 which you know he will be ranting about people being fanboy sheep who can’t thibk for themselves when he rages at the game.

This reminded me of a channel/clip that I came across today. It’s from From Software’s Bloodborne (I think). The editing is brilliant! If any of you haven’t watched TIHYDP of this game, check this clip out.
https://youtu.be/LAVrSh9SRLI

 

[Autism Spectroscopy]

There has been a large amount of posts of people professing their disinterest in this shitshow lately, so I'll throw in my two cents.

Bankrupcy saga has been hyped to hell, understandably, but also crashed as quickly. We all need to take a step back from the financial aspect of the shitshow since I feel, that people got too obsessed about it now. I know that the "end is near" feeling was great, but you have to be realistic, there was always the possibility, he would just continue as usual. I'm guilty of the above just as anyone.

Go watch some older TIHYDP's as a background, play through some games he did and get back the groove. We're in the eye of the shitstorm, so enjoy the silence, there is a lot of shit to get your daily dose of chuckles anyway.

And lastly, don't forget why we ever came here in the first place. Money doesn't matter, it never did. Stop expecting anything and surf the waves dood.