Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

[Kosher Dill]

Someone needs to tell Jenna about a nice town in the Pacific Northwest where they're abolishing that pesky police department.

 

[Iron Father]

Some prisons do. But they're EXTREMELY locked down and regulated. There's no way that one would be able to access twitter, let alone post from it, unless they were some cyber-security/super-hacker genius. And clearly, she's not.

Prison? I doubt she did anything that serious.

 

[hundredthousand]

I feel like I need to take a shower just after reading her tweets.

 

[Schmeckel]

Prison? I doubt she did anything that serious.

That's the point. If she's ACTUALLY in jail (and based on her post history, it would have to be something very recently), she's not going to have access to much more than a telephone and MAYBE a book from a library. No tin-foil, no plush doll, no phone/tablet.... She'd be awaiting arraignment/trial and be stuck doing absolutely nothing all day. Post-sentence (if sentenced to jail as opposed to prison), she COULD have access to some stuff, but there's no way that she's made it that far along.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

She's absolutely crazy and untrustworthy, I hope she doesn't lose sight of Phil when she scores the next meth baggie.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

That’s funny. From where I’m from, they usually hit the pole pregnant. As soon as they get enough abortion money, they’ll disappear for weeks. And then, sadly, hit the pole again until pregnant.

I recall meeting the sister of one of the more topshelf nudie bar girls, she had only given birth two days before and was already back on stage. She was pretty much feverish and off her bipolar meds and the way she acted in the club was a glorious trainwreck that ended up with her getting sent home for the night.

 

[Full Race Replay]

Based LyghtSydeBill by the way

 

[Brett DeLawyer]

The Eastpointe Police dept is on 9 & Gratiot. Not really a jail but maybe they picked her up for something and held her for a bit?

 

[MoonRocker]

Surprised this hasn’t been posted yet. Looks like she’s in jail lmao (on mobile will update w archive when/if I can) https://twitter.com/brazymamo/status/1270176774928904193?s=21
View attachment 1362854

http://archive.md/NdLsL

edit:View attachment 1362859

https://twitter.com/brazymamo/status/1270177453428875264?s=21

http://archive.md/O8Qdq

Her hair is fucking repulsive. Actually, everything about this little girl is repulsive.

Leave it to Phil to marry into a family that's absolutely bonkers and broken without any semblance of ever having a normal relationship with his wife's side of the family.

But that's what Piggy gets for marrying white trash and banging a bitch who by all rights would be most likely living in a trailer park if the Gout Lord didn't swoop her off her feet with his Big Boi Adult Mansion and successful on-demand and live streaming video services.

That's why a lot of the "Khet is gonna leave him" talk is nonsense to me: if you look at her background, where she came from, and what she has done up until the point where she met Philliam, marrying Phil was a huge fucking win for her. The fact that marrying someone like Phil would be a win for any individual on this planet tells us all we need to know about Khet's values and her prospects in life: nonexistent and utterly devoid of any hope or aspirations.

These two miserable fucks deserve each other anyways.

 

[DSP_Fat_Man]

She could have tweeted that right after being granted bail and handed her stuff back

 

[HalfMillPhil]

Her hair is fucking repulsive. Actually, everything about this little girl is repulsive.

Oh thank God, I thought I was the only person left here not drooling over her.

I guess it just shows how boring Khet is that her thread turned into a Jenna thread.

 

[LiquidCancer]

Do they sell fake eyelashes at the stupid grocery store that Kat works at? If Jenna moves to Renton she can just get Kat to steam them for her

 

[Kermit the Frog]

Her hair is fucking repulsive. Actually, everything about this little girl is repulsive.

Leave it to Phil to marry into a family that's absolutely bonkers and broken without any semblance of ever having a normal relationship with his wife's side of the family.

But that's what Piggy gets for marrying white trash and banging a bitch who by all rights would be most likely living in a trailer park if the Gout Lord didn't swoop her off her feet with his Big Boi Adult Mansion and successful on-demand and live streaming video services.

That's why a lot of the "Khet is gonna leave him" talk is nonsense to me: if you look at her background, where she came from, and what she has done up until the point where she met Philliam, marrying Phil was a huge fucking win for her. The fact that marrying someone like Phil would be a win for any individual on this planet tells us all we need to know about Khet's values and her prospects in life: nonexistent and utterly devoid of any hope or aspirations.

These two miserable fucks deserve each other anyways.

Phil never wanted a normal relationship with the wife's side of the family. He met Leanna's family maybe 3 times at the most in the 5 years they were together (and zero times in the 3 years they were together in Washington). It was a bonus that Kat didn't have a functional family since it's fewer people for Phil to interact with or worry about. No reasonable father could meet a slimy piece of shit like Phil and feel good about him dating his daughter, especially in Leanna's case with the big difference in age. Phil has never gone out of his way to invite his parents over to his place (without the condition they do work around the house) or go back home to visit until they (well, Mama Burnell) agreed to pay for the entire trip out there and give him some extra cash for his tax problems. He thinks a quick phone call once a week where he bitches about detractors is enough of a relationship to have with them. Phil doesn't value family at all and neither does Kat, though in her case it was more out of necessity. Just the two of them in the gout mansion awkwardly listening to African tribal music with their adopted son Jasper, now that's a real family, dood.

 

[Full Race Replay]

That's why a lot of the "Khet is gonna leave him" talk is nonsense to me: if you look at her background, where she came from, and what she has done up until the point where she met Philliam, marrying Phil was a huge fucking win for her.

It’s more funny to speculate that Kat and Phil’s sex life is completely dead, but in reality I bet

Spoiler: NSFW

Kat let’s Phil nut in her mouth every night, and probably fakes orgasms to his four incher. Power leveling, I remember how awkward the first time I had sex was and I bet Phil is worse than that every time

I used to think Kat was “monkeybarring “ Phil like she did to Subaru man but she probably knows this is the best she is gonna get in life.
It would be really funny however if she would still make him wear a condom even after they’ve been married for this long. She probably knows having a child would be impossible in their situation

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Of course, Phil wants to estrange his beloved soulmaids as far as possible from their family. They are one Philip Burnell Google search from realizing the grave error their beautiful daughter is making being with this sleazebag. Even before that, it's bad enough that Phil would have to seriously explain what he does for a living to them. The Hangens were likely the first to hear the online content creator and providing streaming services pigsplaining.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

It’s more funny to speculate that Kat and Phil’s sex life is completely dead,

Considering they were sleeping in separate beds within a year of their marriage and it's clear that Kat doesn't even like Phil putting one stringy arm around her, I doubt their sex life has been anything more than two ten-minute sessions of snorting and disappointment followed by a year of chastity for Phil.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Why do people think Phil would even want to have sex with Kat? She doesn't resemble a big sweaty muscley man, and that's the only place Phil's passion lies.

 

[Pandalee’s Tits]

To be honest judging by Phil’s skinnyfat physique paired with his tits I’m not sure he has much testosterone left in his body.

 

[Funko Pops NFT collector]

Of course, Phil wants to estrange his beloved soulmaids as far as possible from their family. They are one Philip Burnell Google search from realizing the grave error their beautiful daughter is making being with this sleazebag. Even before that, it's bad enough that Phil would have to seriously explain what he does for a living to them. The Hangens were likely the first to hear the online content creator and providing streaming services pigsplaining.

He explained to them that he provides on demand video services to which people donate using the digital currency system called paypal.

 

[Pepper Jack]

Panda consistently complained about a lack of sex after moving to WA. I don't think Phil cares much for sex. It is too much effort when he can just sit on the loveseat and fap on an 8 year old laptop.

My personal Theo theory is that there were initial sparks between Katherine and Phil hence why she flew out several times. Phil got Kat on the rebound and Kat gets out of MI, initial win-win. While the sparks were still flying, Kat moved in with him. They spent less than 14 total days together before she moved in.

After some time, they realized that the expectations they set for one another were not reality. Phil wanted a soul maid who can cook and clean and wait on him hand and foot. Instead, he got a partial fuctioning retard who cooks either pasta or potatoes every day and does not subscribe to feeding Phil grapes on the sofa and treating him like a King. Phil also did zero research on Kat and did not find out about her severe mental illnesses until many months into the relationship. Big whoops.

Kat for her part thought she was moving in with DSP not Philip Paul Burnell. DSP is a projection of the kind of person Phil wishes he was IRL and Kat fell for the marketing scheme. I am sure that Phil admitting he is an alcholic and needing help was done to reel Kat in with the classic "awww I know I can change him" response. Kat only interacted with Phil over 3 weekends before moving in. Phil was on his best behavior. He showered, didn't clear his throat/snort, shaved, didn't rock while talking, and he wined and dined her on his 14 credit cards. Basically, he did the opposite of how he actually lives on a daily basis. Oh and I bet he minimized his debt to her as well.

Kat arrived at Casa Gout and shortly after settling in, Phil reverted back to his old ways and dropped the bombshell that he was $500k in debt. Oh and it is obvious that Phil had no intention of quitting drinking so Kat gave up trying and joined him down the road to alchoholism.

The marriage was a convenience to save on taxes and to please Phil's parents. The whole marriage is a sham but as long as Phil's parents believe it is true and honest, that is all that matters. They are roommates with separate rooms living under the pretense of being married. Jasper is Kat's cat, that is why DSP left him off the bankruptcy forms.

It is all smoke and mirrors.

Last thing - the sham marriage also allows DSP to gloat in front of his wheelchairs that he is a real adult man with his adult house and his adult horse