Cultcow Brad Watson / Richard Bradshaw Watson / Brad Watson_Miami - Jesus & Albert Einstein reincarnated, discoverer of GOD=7_4 Theory

How do you grade Brad Watson? This is an official poll that reflects the will of GOD.

  • Excellent A - Freedom from corporeal shackles and permitted audience with THE LORD.

    Votes: 168 13.6%

  • Passing B - Freedom from corporeal shackles and free attendance of GOD's Kingdom.

    Votes: 22 1.8%

  • Fair C - Freedom from corporeal shackles. Given limited, general attendance of GOD's Kingdom.

    Votes: 22 1.8%

  • Poor D - Reincarnated as Man to be given a second chance at attempting to earn GOD's graces.

    Votes: 39 3.2%

  • Fail F - Reincarnated as a non-human for 326 years, 221 days, and 14 hours.

    Votes: 76 6.2%

  • Fail F - Sentenced to eternal tortures in HELL for crimes against THE LORD GOD.

    Votes: 106 8.6%

  • Fail F - Forced to post on the kiwifarms.net for 24 years, 30 days, and 2 hours.

    Votes: 802 64.9%
  • Total voters
    1,235
It just sort of struck me. We've all been basically given the same sentence right? 174 years non human, reincarnated hellish circumstances ect.

What kind of fucking wasteland are we going to be living in? I mean, let's look at it this way, Rain Man Jesus is offended and will basically damn you for not liking the same sports teams so I'm going to assume that the majority of the entire human population will all be given the same autistic sentence of 174 years of non human life before we are all born into "hellish" circumstances. What kind of nightmare world would that be? Again, assuming we're going with the actual definition of hellish meaning eternal torment and not say having the weather forecast being 5 degrees off. Would we be dealing with a nuclear fallout scenario or trapped in the endless void? Or would it literally be "tough shit, you were mean to a guy on the internet so now everything you ever wish to taste will taste of pork."

There's some lack of context here.

Brad Watson_Miami said:
Can someone organize all these Judgments and copy them to the correct thread on http://7seals.yuku.com ? It's important for GOD to keep GOOD records.
Click to expand...
Not your personal army bucko.

Edit: Speaking of. Wouldn't Jesus like... Know these things and not inquire people he just flipped off to do it for him? You don't kick a guy in the dick and ask him to say he's sorry.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: voiceguy
Brad Watson_Miami said:
hurrhurrhurr,

This is just a BIG joke to you, huh? Too bad.

By the power(77) vested in me by GOD as His/Her Christ(77=C3+H8+R19+I9+S19+T20), I hereby rule that 4/23/15 is your Judgment Day: you FAIL.

Sentence: Very bad luck, 174 years reincarnated as non-human, 17.4 years non-commutable. When you are born-again as human, it will be under very hellish circumstances.
Click to expand...

Forgive me if this has already been asked, but has anyone actually passed this test of GOD before?
 
  • Agree
  • Optimistic
Reactions: Dynamite Ninja, Picklechu, voiceguy and 1 other person
Ruin,

By the power(77) vested in me by GOD as His/Her Christ(77=C3+H8+R19+I9+S19+T20), I hereby rule that 4/23/15 23:04 is your latest Judgment Day: you FAIL.

Sentence: Really bad luck, 666 years reincarnated as non-human, 174 years non-commutable. Imagine what would be the worst possible scenario to be born-again as human and that will be how you return.
 
  • Mad at the Internet
  • Dumb
  • Disagree
Reactions: Dynamite Ninja, autism420, Roger Rabbit and 2 others
I'm vaguely insulted by the copypasta punishments. Good thing that I'm not a believer then, sold soul to Yahweh not included.

Ruin said:
Man I would not want to be this guy when he dies. I'm not an expert on the Bible but doesn't God have a thing about false idols?
Click to expand...

He does.
"Thou shalt have no other gods before me"
"Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image"

The latter in fact does include other humans by the way.

Wikipedia said:
Although no single biblical passage contains a complete definition of idolatry, the subject is addressed in numerous passages, so that idolatry may be summarized as the worship of idols (or images); the worship of polytheistic gods by use of idols (or images); the worship of created things (trees, rocks, animals, astronomical bodies, or another human being); and the use of idols in the worship of God (YHWH Elohim), the God of Israel.
Click to expand...
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Dynamite Ninja, voiceguy and Ruin
Brad Watson_Miami said:
hurrhurrhurr,

This is just a BIG joke to you, huh? Too bad.

By the power(77) vested in me by GOD as His/Her Christ(77=C3+H8+R19+I9+S19+T20), I hereby rule that 4/23/15 is your Judgment Day: you FAIL.

Sentence: Very bad luck, 174 years reincarnated as non-human, 17.4 years non-commutable. When you are born-again as human, it will be under very hellish circumstances.
Click to expand...

B-b-b-but I wasn't joking :'( if I get reincarnated as a non-human can it be something cool like a Honey Badger?
 
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: voiceguy, Meowthkip and Positron
Brad Watson_Miami said:
Franklin Roosevelt was reincarnated as Barack Obama.
Marilyn Monroe was reincarnated as Janet Jackson.*
Judy Garland was reincarnated as Beyoncé.
Bobby Jones was reincarnated as Tiger Woods.
Babe Ruth was reincarnated as Barry Bonds.
Click to expand...

I forgot about that pattern.

I'm not saying Brad is saying anything but.... Lots of talented and successful black people are just reincarnated white people.

Brad Watson_Miami said:
Zim,

If you really are leaving never to post here again, that will be proof that GOD exists! And if you do post again, that will be proof of you being a liar.
Click to expand...

Remember when you said you were never talking to me again?

Not only do you talk to me still, I'm often the primary person you are addressing.

Does that make you a liar, or just means you changed your mind?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Picklechu, voiceguy and Meowthkip
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: voiceguy
Brad Watson_Miami said:
Ruin,

There is One GOD and GOD's name and title is GOD.

Today is your Judgment Day: you FAIL.

Sentence: Bad luck, 74 years reincarnated as non-human, 7.4 years non-commutable. When you born-again as human it will be under hellish circumstances.
Click to expand...
Do you get upset in books or movies when there are other religions (even fantasy religions) featured prominently?

For that matter, what books and movies do you even enjoy? You seem to be way too serious over this God stuff, you should mellow out with Lord of the Rings or something.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Marionette and voiceguy
Brad Watson_Miami said:
Can someone organize all these Judgments and copy them to the correct thread on http://7seals.yuku.com ? It's important for GOD to keep GOOD records.
Click to expand...
For a man claiming to be a deity you certainly are lazy and impotent Bradley. I mean what kind of a loser, too lazy to even give a half-assed effort god needs random people to do what amounts to light clerical work for him?
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Marionette, Picklechu and voiceguy
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back