I actually just got around to listening to this and wow, holy shit, I think this might actually be worse than even Digibros stuff, and I can't believe i'm saying that.
Okay, holy shit i'm really going to have to get into this for you May, because I know you read this.
If you want to post music again you need to spend at least 2 years practicing before you put anything out again. Don't show it to anybody other than a professional who knows how to help you.
This means you're actually going to have to put real work into it, I know you're not going to like that.
First, before you write lyrics ever again; learn what a Perfect Rhyme is, and then learn why it's different from a Family Rhyme, Additive Rhyme, Subtractive Rhyme, and Assonance Rhyme. Understand why you need to avoid Perfect Rhymes, why it sounds trite if you do use them, and then additionally feel very embarrassed that you rhymed Fight with Right, Ear with Hear, and many other HORRIFICALLY overused rhymes throughout your entire song. It doesn't matter the person, they are going to cringe HARD when you use Perfect Rhymes like that.
Second you need to use a Click. If you can't "rap" to a Click, DO NOT POST YOUR MUSIC. Bare minimum you need to be able to keep a rhythm. ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM. If you can't even manage to do that, learn what Quantization is, and how to properly apply it to fix your god awful vocals.
Third, learn what a Scale is. Practice your Scales every day. This is going to be hard work, I know you do not like hard work. But considering the sheer sophistication of modern Pitch Correction software, and its absolutely amazing ability to be able to make even the shitest person sound decent, it's absolutely ridiculous that EVERYONE can hear it artifacting that badly. At the very least you vocals should be good enough that bare minimum a trained engineer will be able to notice the artifacting, but your average listener will not. And don't try to pass it off as intentional, NOBODY EVER BUYS THAT. If you can't handle this, resort to Mumblecore next time and know your place.
Fourth, learn what a Compressor is. Learn what the Threshold, Attack and Release, and Knee setting is, spend AT LEAST A YEAR practicing making vocals, experimenting with Compressor settings, and actually understanding WHAT IT'S EVEN DOING. Your entire Track is brickwalled to hell and back, and yet your vocals are beyond weak in Ratio settings. Your vocals should be your most compressed element in Rap, not the fucking backing track you obviously had no part in producing.
Fifth, if you're going to attempt a scream in that manner, you need to be able to stack multiple ones together, and properly tie them together under a Glue Compressor (again, you're going to have to learn what that is, and spend months experimenting and comparing and contrasting with other tracks that are actually good, incrementally learning what you're doing wrong and what you're doing right, lot of work you'll hate). This means you're going to have to be able to "rap" to a Click track so they line up properly (again, more practice I know you won't like), fix them via Quantization, and learn how to properly implement Saturation so that additional Harmonics add the attractive agression you were attempting to go for.
I couldn't listen to the rest past the first half because it was just too awful top to bottom.
You should be extremely embarrassed that you released this. It should have been very clear to yourself at multiple points throughout the creative process that this was a bad idea and that you don't have even the slightest bit of talent for music, and that moving forward should you produce more it will require a herculean level of effort and practice. The fact that it didn't should signal something very serious to yourself: your self-conception is seriously misaligned, and you need to do some very real and very honest soul searching about who you are and what your abilities are.
May god have mercy on your soul.
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