Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[spinal gas chamber]

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This doesn’t sound like betting. Goons pay either way, right? And he will hold the money of course. Yep, great idea that I’m sure everyone will jump on!

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

People give Logan a lot of shit for various reasons, but you know what? At least she could recognize that SA needed something new and she at least had some ambition about doing it.

Lowtax, thanks to the patreon and SA forum revenue, was pulling in a sweet six figure income without even having to get out of bed for the last four years. He had a perfectly good thing going even after the glory days and any hope at cashing in big time were long gone.

Logan appealed his dick, ego and greed with her big brain ideas about making SA a big indie brand that corporations would shovel money to use as a marketing platform. Her dream was to turn SA into a corporate shill machine, so she could make money and have e-clout, not revitalize it and take it back to the gold old days.

Lowtax was doing great from a business standpoint, pulling in six figures for a minuscule amount of effort via a platform a decade past its prime. His window for cashing in was long gone, but he could just coast on the generosity of the community in the forum he built.

Logan wasn’t making jack shit, had no career, wasn’t e-famous. She wanted a piece of what Lowtax took for granted, thousands of dollars a month and e-fame. Fucking Lowtax and cleaning his house got her a chance to try.

She failed to make any money or rejuvenate SA, she imported lots drama and terrible front page writers. She did get to destroy Lowtax’s easy gig. If she couldn’t have it, neither could he.

Its typical BPD shit. They are incapable of new ideas or working long-term to build something. It’s much easier to find someone who has what you want and then latch onto like them like a hyper-emotional tick.

The minute Lowtax publicly acknowledged her on the forums as someone working with SA she gave herself the title of COO. (and was on his doorstep a few weeks later) As far as she was concerned SA belonged to her and she had more way more invested in it than that lazy boyfriend of hers. It’s not ambitious, it’s fucking crazy.

 

[All Cops Are Based]

make furries afraid again

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Lowtax, thanks to the patreon and SA forum revenue, was pulling in a sweet six figure income without even having to get out of bed for the last four years. He had a perfectly good thing going even after the glory days and any hope at cashing in big time were long gone.

Logan appealed his dick, ego and greed with her big brain ideas about making SA a big indie brand that corporations would shovel money to use as a marketing platform. Her dream was to turn SA into a corporate shill machine, so she could make money and have e-clout, not revitalize it and take it back to the gold old days.

Lowtax was doing great from a business standpoint, pulling in six figures for a minuscule amount of effort via a platform a decade past its prime. His window for cashing in was long gone, but he could just coast on the generosity of the community in the forum he built.

Logan wasn’t making jack shit, had no career, wasn’t e-famous. She wanted a piece of what Lowtax took for granted, thousands of dollars a month and e-fame. Fucking Lowtax and cleaning his house got her a chance to try.

She failed to make any money or rejuvenate SA, she imported lots drama and terrible front page writers. She did get to destroy Lowtax’s easy gig. If she couldn’t have it, neither could he.

Its typical BPD shit. They are incapable of new ideas or working long-term to build something. It’s much easier to find someone who has what you want and then latch onto like them like a hyper-emotional tick.

The minute Lowtax publicly acknowledged her on the forums as someone working with SA she gave herself the title of COO. As far as she was concerned SA belonged to her and she had more way more invested in it than that lazy boyfriend of hers. It’s not ambitious, it’s fucking crazy.

Let's not kid ourselves, the Lowtax money machine was always in a precarious place because Lowtax was too stupid to realize he was running a community that secretly hated him and opposed his nonradical politics. He thought as long as he was king he'd have reverence and worship. Power is never absolute.

SA was good for nothing and its glory days are ancient history. Nothing can revitalize it. What happened to Lowtax was bound to happen by his inaction sooner or later. The goons are just using this an an excuse to start running the community and have power. You're probably not wrong about Logan but whatever she wanted to do with the brand is probably smarter than Lowtax relying on rusted machine that was about to fall apart any moment... and it did. It doesn't matter if Logan wanted a soulless cash grab, that was still more teneable than the absolutely-nothing Lowtax did with it. And for those talking abut how Lowtax could've been a Zuckerberg or whatever, yeah, he could have--and he'd have to have turned SA into a soulless cash grab to do so, just like with what happened to Reddit.

The minute Lowtax publicly acknowledged her on the forums as someone working with SA she gave herself the title of COO. As far as she was concerned SA belonged to her and she had more way more invested in it than that lazy boyfriend of hers. It’s not ambitious, it’s fucking crazy.

SA was also a big part of her life and she idolized Lowtax BPD style. She genuinely wanted power but I felt she wanted to genuinely improve it because it was so apparently stagnant. Being a BPD woman that babytalks no changes she would have made I'd ever approve of, but what I'm saying is she had more sense and ambition over SA than even Lowtax did. In most circumstances I agree but it seemed pretty obvious to me Something Awful was slowly heading into the sun. Lowtax was a fool for thinking the gravy train would keep running and his community wouldn't pull this eventually. Basically the SA bubble finally popped and we're seeing the true worth of Lowtax and the SA community on the patreon now. Most of this shit is just goon opportunism. Ironically I feel it proves Logan's mentality right; SA needed to branch out somehow.

 

[RapidUnplannedDisassembly]

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Toxx threads aren't about petty wagers involving whether or not the court system labels him guilty or innocent.

This is some curse-of-the-mummy shit where he's threatening that if he's found innocent, he's going to muscle his way back into the forums and ban everyone that didn't sycophantically bandwagon his innocence. He thinks a vindication in a legal system that fails thousands daily, that routinely holds up as a pillar ideal that it isn't whether the truth is on your side so much as the best lawyer, is going to completely exonerate him in all possible contexts.

 

[White Devil]

Toxx threads aren't about petty wagers involving whether or not the court system labels him guilty or innocent.

This is some curse-of-the-mummy shit where he's threatening that if he's found innocent, he's going to muscle his way back into the forums and ban everyone that didn't sycophantically bandwagon his innocence. He thinks a vindication in a legal system that fails thousands daily, that routinely holds up as a pillar ideal that it isn't whether the truth is on your side so much as the best lawyer, is going to completely exonerate him in all possible contexts.

But I still hope he wins and goes on a massive troon ban spree because you know they'll chimp over it HARD when their precious posting resume is rendered moot.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

But I still hope he wins and goes on a massive troon ban spree because you know they'll chimp over it HARD when their precious posting resume is rendered moot.

I hope he loses, is convicted of domestic violence and then still bans all the troons destroying the last community still using Something Awful.
If I was Richard, I’d use this as an opportunity to do a full scale take over of the forums from the troons. All the mods and admins not supporting you? Removed. Any poster complains? Ban. They can pay to post again.
Go full iron fist. The Patreon is dead. The revenue is dead. Now is the time to rebrand.

 

[White Devil]

I hope he loses, is convicted of domestic violence and then still bans all the troons destroying the last community still using Something Awful.
If I was Richard, I’d use this as an opportunity to do a full scale take over of the forums from the troons. All the mods and admins not supporting you? Removed. Any poster complains? Ban. They can pay to post again.
Go full iron fist. The Patreon is dead. The revenue is dead. Now is the time to rebrand.

He's too lazy to do that though. It will take him winning or losing to push him over the edge to quit being a fat fucking Codeine Snorlax.

 

[nohull]

The actual word is "gibsmedat" and it refers to welfare. It's not an insult for blacks themselves.

Wrong, it especifically relates to blacks and welfare queens, and mocks the way they talk. AFAIK the one who started that is Murdoch Murdoch, a white identitarian.

 

[Mister Qwerty]

I hope he loses, is convicted of domestic violence and then still bans all the troons destroying the last community still using Something Awful.
If I was Richard, I’d use this as an opportunity to do a full scale take over of the forums from the troons. All the mods and admins not supporting you? Removed. Any poster complains? Ban. They can pay to post again.
Go full iron fist. The Patreon is dead. The revenue is dead. Now is the time to rebrand.

If he removed all the mods and admins who didn't support him who would he replace them with? These people work for the forums for free.

 

[White Devil]

If he removed all the mods and admins who didn't support him who would he replace them with? These people work for the forums for free.

Who said he has to replace them? Anarchy reigns.

 

[Mister Qwerty]

Who said he has to replace them? Anarchy reigns.

Anarchy reigns till cops, feds, or lawyers come knocking at Lowtax's door.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

If he removed all the mods and admins who didn't support him who would he replace them with? These people work for the forums for free.

According to troons SA is just filled with secret nazi chuds that would grab the mod brass ring with both hands. This is why they must be ever vigilant and not leave the door open a tiny crack to any wrong think, a right wing coup is always looming

In reality there are still plenty of non-politically insane goons that don’t buy into the last few years of woke Stalinist purges. They would eagerly sign up to have the petty power of a SA mod. As long as there isn’t a fear of being feasted upon by crazed transbians like some raw meat among starving hyenas, there would be a wait list 200 long.

Shit, it’s probably a lifelong dream of anyone with an account more than a decade old that still post frequently.

 

[xXRonPaul_42020Xx]

King Lear, staring Lowtax as King Lear, mod troons as his daughters and Shmorky as the fool.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

Wrong, it especifically relates to blacks and welfare queens, and mocks the way they talk. AFAIK the one who started that is Murdoch Murdoch, a white identitarian.

I've seen it used to refer to autistics on government assistance but that might have been on this site.

According to troons SA is just filled with secret nazi chuds that would grab the mod brass ring with both hands. This is why they must be ever vigilant and not leave the door open a tiny crack to any wrong think, a right wing coup is always looming

In reality there are still plenty of non-politically insane goons that don’t buy into the last few years of woke Stalinist purges. They would eagerly sign up to have the petty power of a SA mod. As long as there isn’t a fear of being feasted upon by crazed transbians like some raw meat among starving hyenas, there would be a wait list 200 long.

Shit, it’s probably a lifelong dream of anyone with an account more than a decade old that still post frequently.

So do normal people still use Something Awful then? I was under the impression it had completely fallen out of the mainstream internet and troons were all that was left.

 

[The Omni Cuckold]

 

[Vivacious]

Here's my revised complete timeline of Lowtax. Things in italics are hearsay or guesses for which I would like to see more documentation. Please let me know if there is anything wrong or if I could add anything

Early Life

• 1976 - Born to Richard Kyanka Sr and Carol Kyanka and starts life in Lee's Summit, MO
• 1994 - Graduates from Rockhurst Prepatory School, a private Catholic high school, and matriculates at Vanderbilt University to study engineering; almost gets a summer job working for Tennessee politician Brian "Low Tax" Looper
• 1997 - Drops out during his Junior year and does systems administration work for the university instead; later takes up a job at Radioshack in Nashville but is fired (though that may be a joke)

SA Years

• 1999 - Moves to Orange County to work as the content director of Planet Quake but is fired for "[making] fun of [his] boss's niece"; founds Something Awful after talking with Raidum and Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen while working at Gamestop
• 2000 - Is in a brief long distance relationship while living in CA with Angela Mason after Lowtax's mom introduces them; starts the SA forums
• 2002 - Creates the SA paywall, supposedly as a way to moderate user registration and not to profit (though it would come to be one of Lowtax's largest income streams)
• 2003 - Dates forum user Integral (Emily) with a bad breakup with a failed proposal in 2002 that causes him to write a front page article about his experience dating a "crazy woman"
• 2004 - Scams attendees out of money at the fifth GoonCon due to poor planning and refusal to communicate
• 2005 - Marries his first wife Megan, former girlfriend of a forum user and would have two daughters with her; gives a presentation at the University of Illinois and other universities about the importance of online communities (arguably the height of his credibility)
• 2006 - Fights Uwe Boll and tries to shill mangosteen items on the forums with disastrous results; begins to take a permanent backseat on the forums

Post SA

• 2010 - First known year of leasing a GTR; files for divorce with Megan but they do not go through with it
• 2013 - Is accused of domestic violence by Megan to the police; begins Gaming Garbage channel on Youtube, which is his first attempt at work since distancing himself from SA
• 2014 - Announces free merch giveaway at SA HQ with only one user showing up and finally closes the office around this time; divorces Megan; first (?) time claiming financial issues; visits Fuzhou, China for unknown reasons
• 2015 - Marries his second wife Ashli after a trip to Canada to meet a forum user, though immigration issues put Ashley's legal status under jeopardy and prevent her from being able to work; The state of Missouri orders a tax lien as he owes over $100k in taxes
• 2016 - Ashley gives birth to his third child
• 2017 - Reboots Gaming Garbage without Shmorky and starts a Patreon with limited success
• 2018 - First claims that he has severe spinal issues that supposedly warrants outside financial assistance; files a domestic violence claim against Ashli
• 2019 - Begins Patreon campaign to "save" the SA forum with over $15,000 in monthly donations at its peak; uses them to rent a second McMansion, lease a sportscar, and buy Goldbelly cookies; has legal and custody trouble with Ashley concerning domestic violence around Thanksgiving; starts being involved with Logan Day at the same time; files for divorce with Ashli in December
• 2020 - Logan openly accuses Lowtax of domestic violence on FB in May and the Patreon implodes, leaving his financial and legal future in jeopardy

Misc:

• Lowtax makes his youngest daughter to beg for money on stream

To make this list complete, I'd like to know:

• When Lowtax moved back to MO, the last time he moved in his life
• When he bought and sold his infamous original McMansion
• When he began to majorly step back from the forums
• When and why he decided to cancel GoonCon (as alluded to in this thread)
• When he got the strip mall office
• If Lowtax and Megan separated and reconciled before divorcing and when

Seeing the timeline puts into perspective how pathetic Rich's life is. He was a big deal, if that, for five years and then proceeded to do nothing with his life. According to Rich, SA only began to break even in 2002/2003 and he kept up with the forums for only a short time. (Though he kept the office for longer)

I'm guessing that Rich lied to Megan by omission by not telling her that he was hardly involved with the website anymore, because there would have been no way she was ok with him sitting in his "office" doing jack shit and getting drunk all the time. This is someone who chose not to have a job for the last ten years in exchange for downing pills and alcohol all day so he can fuck off.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

King Lear, staring Lowtax as King Lear, mod troons as his daughters and Shmorky as the fool.

I think the last eight months could be a reimagined “All About Eve” type story staring Lowtax and Logan.

If Logan had been a legit “believe women” feminist it could have been a remake of “9 to 5” and everyone would be happy except Lowtax. Imagine if Logan’s plan had been to over-throw Lowtax so SA could be run by a just troika of the exes he fucked over. Making the mod team 75% transbians and POC.

 

[haunted vagina]

So do normal people still use Something Awful then? I was under the impression it had completely fallen out of the mainstream internet and troons were all that was left.

In addition to the lack of need for another "communists chopping their dicks off" gathering on the Internet when that's already what everything else has become, nobody under 30 understands the purpose of a "web forum." SA's userbase has to be 95% people who are old enough to remember the pre-Facebook world. Once in a while you'll get someone younger who stumbles into it for whatever reason (politics, writing an article about the drama, etc) but the constant aging out of the contributors really drives a lot of the other problems. Most people by age 40 are too invested in careers and family to care about any of this shit, the exceptions are very distorted towards people with various political and mental diseases.

 

[Technics99]

Lowtax's only chance of redemption is going completely sober, admitting complete fault for everything and living a life helping others, as a living amends.