Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[LeeLoo]

Indeed, they likely have very little to do with him at this point beyond checking in on his social media from time to time to make sure he isn't saying something he shouldn't be about the family or is acting like he is about to go postal and harm someone. They clearly want nothing to do with him

I definitely understand not engaging with him. I suppose too they’re used to just hearing all sorts of shit from him. I’d just be tempted to tell the fat useless fuck that he can STFU about his “inheritance” because there isn’t any in his future.

 

[Da Dude123]

Can you imagine the mooing and reeing Lucas would be doing if his parents told them that an inheritance was not in the cards! He would be tard raging all week about it. It would be a melt down to end all melt downs.

I definitely understand not engaging with him. I suppose too they’re used to just hearing all sorts of shit from him. Is just be tempted to tell the fat useless fuck that he can STFU about his “inheritance” because there isn’t any in his future.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Pukas looks like Dr Giggles with his new health-conscious fashion accessory.


Hey Lucas! If you're going to play with your mask and cover up your eyes, why don't you just tie a plastic trash bag around your head. You'd get better coverage that way, and it might have the added benefit of some consciousness-expanding results.

( I second the opinion that he's only wearing his mask now because someone mentioned how hypocritical it was for him not to wear it, when he's criticizing everyone else for spreading the virus. Course that still doesn't explain how he was sharing joints with strangers, but baby steps for Big Baby bitch Boy I suppose.)

 

[wenttobermuda]

Do we know if any Wernologists have ever made contact with his family? I’m a big believer in not crossing that boundary, but fuck if I wouldn’t love to let his parents know he has been gleefully talking about their deaths for days. It’s beyond creepy that he uses the inevitable death of his parents as a tool to score poonaner, and something to look forward to.

Certain pioneers of Wernology established contact with Lucas's mother, under unhappy circumstances. Some of Lucas's more menacing behavior was brought up. At that point, Queen Myrna was still attempting to protect her beautiful baby boy from trolls, catfish and himself. Nothing of value was gained, though Myrna was revealed to be unpleasant and gross.

Even Grendel had a mom, I guess.

I am much more interested in what Lucas's brothers have to say about him. Distant observation and leaked Facebook posts have revealed intense hostility between the heirs of King Roy. Given the bitter rivalry with Seth that Lucas alludes to in his 2010 Personal Reflection, there must be a wealth of valuable information.

In particular, I wonder what they would be able to add about Lucas's relationship with his niece, and his subsequent exclusion from the family.

 

[Da Dude123]

He has his hobo sack in this pic. Since Tubby is homeless he has to carry his belongings, such as his Nintendo DS Lite that Goldork gave him. True royalty here, folks.

Also, he will be carrying all sorts of shit around with him when he goes back to the community college.

View attachment 1425898
Pukas looks like Dr Giggles with his new health-conscious fashion accessory.
View attachment 1425900

Hey Lucas! If you're going to play with your mask and cover up your eyes, why don't you just tie a plastic trash bag around your head. You'd get better coverage that way, and it might have the added benefit of some consciousness-expanding results.

( I second the opinion that he's only wearing his mask now because someone mentioned how hypocritical it was for him not to wear it, when he's criticizing everyone else for spreading the virus. Course that still doesn't explain how he was sharing joints with strangers, but baby steps for Big Baby bitch Boy I suppose.)

 

[LeeLoo]

Can fatty actually run for office in WA with a criminal record and a history of forcible commitment in a mental hospital?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Pukas shares another one of his interests: defecation.

He's a teenage girl's dream.

 

[Garfieldchu]

His new angle is: "I'm Nobility."

Does he realise literally nobody would find, "Yeah, I'm a German Lord" remotely attractive?
View attachment 1425617

Homeless Noble Daddy

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

Homeless Noble Daddy

He's between landed properties right now...

 

[wenttobermuda]

Baron Lucas is a riot.

Dear colleagues,

Please humor my curiosity, and perhaps satisfy your own. What are some specific topics you wish Lucas would address? What areas of Wernology would benefit most from elaboration? What are the nagging questions facing Wernologists?

Are there forgotten gems buried in this thread that ought to be reconsidered? Things you're tired of hearing about?

What would you most like to know about Jason Perva's penis?

I appreciate your input and contributions to Wernology.

 

[WonderWino]

Homeless Noble Daddy

He's not homeless. When you're a noble waiting for your inheritance you're living in exile from the royal court

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

Baron Lucas is a riot.

Dear colleagues,

Please humor my curiosity, and perhaps satisfy your own. What are some specific topics you wish Lucas would address? What areas of Wernology would benefit most from elaboration? What are the nagging questions facing Wernologists?

Are there forgotten gems buried in this thread that ought to be reconsidered? Things you're tired of hearing about?

What would you most like to know about Jason Perva's penis?

I appreciate your input and contributions to Wernology.

I'd genuinely like to know why Lucas thinks hectoring and castigating the very demographic of women he wants to bone will have any positive results. It's worked incredibly poorly so far, why hasn't he tried more... traditional... methods, like regular bathing, and having more personality than a half-empty can of prunes, for example?

 

[wenttobermuda]

He's not homeless. When you're a noble waiting for your inheritance you're living in exile from the royal court

Like a knight errant, he's an itinerant noble until he inherits King Roy's estate of Fart Acre. Or whatever it's called.

He must be wary of Prince Seth, who no doubt has designs on his rightful inheritance.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Baron Lucas is a riot.

Dear colleagues,

Please humor my curiosity, and perhaps satisfy your own. What are some specific topics you wish Lucas would address? What areas of Wernology would benefit most from elaboration? What are the nagging questions facing Wernologists?

Are there forgotten gems buried in this thread that ought to be reconsidered? Things you're tired of hearing about?

What would you most like to know about Jason Perva's penis?

I appreciate your input and contributions to Wernology.

Id like to know more about how often, and for how long, the Baron Wernchausen has been wetting himself.

Also was Jason Perva his solitary experience with swallowing telomeres, or has his consumption of such contributed to his Hulk-like state of gamma-enlightenment?

Also, how can he steal any man's gf or wife if he cant even give a girl he smokes with his digits? Has it occurred to him that all this talk of Cockblocking comes off as an excuse for his total lack of game?

Where did he get this moronic idea that guys "hook up" other guys by gifting them available women?

 

[Da Dude123]

I guess Lucas lost his sunglasses or broke them? We haven't seen those in a bit.

 

[Gracie's Ghost]

I'd like to know if he actually understands that women are people and not property. (Just kidding, I know the answer is no.)

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Baron Lucas is a riot.

Dear colleagues,

Please humor my curiosity, and perhaps satisfy your own. What are some specific topics you wish Lucas would address? What areas of Wernology would benefit most from elaboration? What are the nagging questions facing Wernologists?

Are there forgotten gems buried in this thread that ought to be reconsidered? Things you're tired of hearing about?

What would you most like to know about Jason Perva's penis?

I appreciate your input and contributions to Wernology.

How does one define "strong DNA"

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

How does one define "strong DNA"

With (from what I've seen from Prof. Wern) a lot of babble, partially understood scientific-sounding words and spittle-flecked ranting.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

Pukas shares another one of his interests: defecation.

He's a teenage girl's dream.

Funny thing is that he is too damn fat to get his body in this position. His stomach wouldn't allow for it.

On another note, I am throughly enjoying his bragging about his "millionaire" parents while living in a homeless shelter. He's basically advertising that he's disowned and unwanted. That shouldn't send out any red flags to the ladies or anything.

Edit: typos

 

[wenttobermuda]

Thanks for your input thus far.

In case I haven't been suitably explicit, this is an opportunity for Wernologists
to have some say over the kinds of content and question that will be featured in Episode 3 of Goldaor's The Golden USB Show.