Anal sex is in. To be fair, it has been for quite some time (and for queer men , its always been in). In fact, Marie Claire went as far to call 2014 the Year of the Booty , and in December of that year, Mic wrote a feature called: .
Six years later, anal is still going strong. As a sex writer, Im constantly asked to write pieces about how to have healthier and more pleasurable anal sex .
By why is everyone talking about anal sex now? In large part, it's because a sex-positive revolution is happening, and were more open to exploring our sexuality and vocalizing our desires. (For the record, people were always having anal sex before it was inthe mainstream media simply wasnt talking about it the same way.) Also, anal sex feels really fucking good . Plain and simple. It feels good to do things to someone elses butt, and have someone else do things to your butt. Really, the more butts involved during sex, the better.
Don't just take my word for it. I reached out to 12 sex-positive men, asking them to describe, in detail, what anal sex feels like. Their answers make it clear that anal sex isnt just inits here to stay.
What anal sex feels like for the insertive partner (a.k.a. the "top"):
Neil, 28: I love anal because it feels like my dick is being crushed into pure heaven in every direction, if that makes sense.
Joey, 29: In my experience, buttholes feel tighter than vaginas 99% of the time. That additional pressure of an asss tight grip around your dick feels like nothing else youve ever experienced. Its a completely different experience from vaginal sex.
Brad, 30: "What I like most about anal is the unleashing of sexual energy. Leaving a handprint on their ass. Having scratch marks down my back. Getting sweaty. Just the sheer primal physicality of it all.
Stephen, 31: "I found the best thing about sticking my dick into someones ass is dominance. Taking control and going as hard or soft as you want is a huge aspect to me. However, this always means taking your partner into great consideration. For example, starting slow and easy, adding in lots of foreplay , maybe dirty talk to make them feel desirable and more 'ready' to take it."
Gregory, 29: "The feeling of someones ass slapping against my thighs, or their hole tightening around my dick is incredibly empowering. Watching them react when I know I'm stimulating them in a way they're enjoying is a huge ego boost because, in a sense, theres a kind of ownership over this other persons orgasm."
What anal sex feels like for the receptive partner (a.k.a. the " bottom "):
Edwin, 35: My favorite part of anal sex is definitely the foreplay. The sensation of a tongue hitting those spots takes the experience to a different level. It just builds onto the anticipation for receiving, and for me, that time in between is the most erotic. Once inside, it feels like every nerve ending in my body is being touched. Its the perfect balance of pain and pleasure.
Guillermo, 22: After getting into recovery, sex was something that was sort of new to me again. I felt like a born again virgin but I still knew what to do. Bottoming feels great without any inhalants, and its a lot more intimate.
Bruno, 26: Anal sex has always felt like a giant stress relief to me. Ive often said I need to get this hangover fucked out of me, because thats how good anal sex feels. With the right partner, its a euphoric experience that can both mellow you out and put you to fucking work.
Barret, 30: To me, receiving anal sex feels like total vulnerability. Its like having all your secrets laid bare in front of someone. But its also euphoric, and fabulous. Receiving anal sex feels like realizing the power of your queerness. It takes every unkind feeling or thought youve ever had about yourself, every slur anyone has ever called you, and puts a certain amount of pleasure behind the shame of sex. And in that moment, when youre getting your guts rearranged, you feel sexy, and powerful and queer."
Eliot, 24: First of all, I'm a masochist. Not that all bottoming is painful, but generally, there is some discomfort, especially at first, and especially with larger penises. But the discomfort usually goes away quickly (with enough lube ) and is replaced with this subtle feeling of being stretched or filled. And that is what I lovethat pressure. It makes me hard and builds the longer and harder I bottom. The feeling eventually takes over, until it's all I can think about is that pressure against my prostate and in my penis until I orgasm."
Kiel 27: Anal feels like both heaven and hell. Its hard to explain why the sometimes painful stretch or depth is intoxicating, but the feeling of a well-lubed bare penis moving back and forth is amazing. I can feel my prostate being hit and massaged. Anal sex feels like that first glass of unsweetened iced tea on a hot summer day. It feels like the hot shower after a weekend camping trip. Its titillating, orgasmic, and perfect.
Kevin, 30: Good anal sex is like eating a delicious meal that is too hot. Those first moments are filled with a slightly uncomfortable sensation mixed with bits of euphoria. During this time, you are bordering between regret, eagerness, anxiety, and pleasure. After a deep breath out and an inhale of determination, time passes and the meal cools. You then enter a state of delicious consumption, as your booty devours their penis.
