Sex Toy General - We all have them. Even you.

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Bloitzhole said:
I have two female acquaintances who own BD item(s). Not the realistic (or oversized) ones, that's probably for those people wishing a horse or whatever would rape 'em (I still wonder how that happens. Like fetishes are developed during childhood via trauma n stuff right? what the fuck human psyche). Gotta say, they're incredibly funny to look at and wave about. I dare say that a lot of people would just think it's a weird decorative sculpture if they didn't examine it. Apparently, in use, they have a lot of textures and unique shapes so they just feel different than most other dildos you can buy. They also sell a weird ass lube that made me gag when I touched it (which is, apparently, hilarious). It has a genuinely disconcerting, slimy af viscosity *shiver*
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I'm just going to ignore the slimy lube part, that's... Moving on, totally agree with the sculpture thing, some of them are like pretty cool looking, swirly colored, vaguely phallic pieces of art. It would make sense for the fantasy ones to be designed more for human use with just more imagination, but I really wonder if the realistic ones physically feel good, of if it's 100% fetish fantasy. I just don’t think anyone would buy a realistic one unless they have a fetish, so we'll never have an objective answer for that one. Maybe a sex toy blogger has reviewed one? IDK I feel like sex toy bloggers have every fetish possible, though, so they'd be into it anyway. I respect their knowledge when it comes to sex toys, but you've got to be a bit weird to write about using sex toys for a living. We should have a thread about sex bloggers and sex toy bloggers.
 
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Nobodys talking about bad dragons penetrables? I guess dog and demon dicks are more funny to talk about than shoving your meat in a dragon snatch or werewolf pussy, though I can imagine either being on somebody's list. Also to the person who linked that gallon of lube thank you now my amazon will be flooded with lube and condom recommendations for months
 
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Bloitzhole said:
I have two female acquaintances who own BD item(s). Not the realistic (or oversized) ones, that's probably for those people wishing a horse or whatever would rape 'em (I still wonder how that happens. Like fetishes are developed during childhood via trauma n stuff right? what the fuck human psyche). Gotta say, they're incredibly funny to look at and wave about. I dare say that a lot of people would just think it's a weird decorative sculpture if they didn't examine it. Apparently, in use, they have a lot of textures and unique shapes so they just feel different than most other dildos you can buy. They also sell a weird ass lube that made me gag when I touched it (which is, apparently, hilarious). It has a genuinely disconcerting, slimy af viscosity *shiver*
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This is a safe place Bloitzhole. You can tell us they’re your dildos, we won’t laugh at you that much.
 
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Jasonfan89 said:
Nobodys talking about bad dragons penetrables? I guess dog and demon dicks are more funny to talk about than shoving your meat in a dragon snatch or werewolf pussy, though I can imagine either being on somebody's list. Also to the person who linked that gallon of lube thank you now my amazon will be flooded with lube and condom recommendations for months
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Apparently it's because they're shit and not very stimulating. Plus, with the price you could get like 12 TENGAs, more if you're buying egg cups.
(And since we're on the topic of onaholes, I'm pretty sure even the overdesigned ones imported from japan cost less)
 
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Coolio55 said:
Apparently it's because they're shit and not very stimulating. Plus, with the price you could get like 12 TENGAs, more if you're buying egg cups.
(And since we're on the topic of onaholes, I'm pretty sure even the overdesigned ones imported from japan cost less)
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I wanna say I disagree with you on them not being stimulating but doing so would be admission to owning a few for more than novelty purposes only
 
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Gorlax said:
This is a safe place Bloitzhole. You can tell us they’re your dildos, we won’t laugh at you that much.
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You're right, I know I can trust the KiwiFarms not to ridicule me. They are actually the extra large dinosaur ones and I keep one in each nostril while I use the slimy lube to glide about my living room, jerking myself off to the tunes of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

But srsly, I can't even afford most of the camera equipment I buy, much less niche Dildos I'd have to import from across the pond :heart-empty:

Zeta Reticuli said:
DAE have a Satisfyer? I got one cause my wand massager broke but I dunno if I like it or not.
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I know one person that swears by it (but she's probably the most nympho and easily stimulated gal I've ever met) and two who were more on the "meh" side of the spectrum - also one broke after like the third use. Never heard of a wand massager breaking before, what did you do to it? Have you tried any of the we-vibes or lelo vibes?
 
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Bloitzhole said:
You're right, I know I can trust the KiwiFarms not to ridicule me. They are actually the extra large dinosaur ones and I keep one in each nostril while I use the slimy lube to glide about my living room, jerking myself off to the tunes of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

But srsly, I can't even afford most of the camera equipment I buy, much less niche Dildos I'd have to import from acrossI know one person that swears by it (but she's probably the most nympho and easily stimulated gal I've ever met) and two who were more on the "meh" side of the spectrum - also one broke after like the third use. Never heard of a wand massager breaking before, what did you do to it? Have you tried any of the we-vibes or lelo vibes?
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Bloitzhole said:
You're right, I know I can trust the KiwiFarms not to ridicule me. They are actually the extra large dinosaur ones and I keep one in each nostril while I use the slimy lube to glide about my living room, jerking myself off to the tunes of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

But srsly, I can't even afford most of the camera equipment I buy, much less niche Dildos I'd have to import from across the pond :heart-empty:



I know one person that swears by it (but she's probably the most nympho and easily stimulated gal I've ever met) and two who were more on the "meh" side of the spectrum - also one broke after like the third use. Never heard of a wand massager breaking before, what did you do to it? Have you tried any of the we-vibes or lelo vibes?
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No I haven’t but I would if I had a lot more disposable income. Lelo is too expensive for me. The wand was 15 years old, lol. It was a corded one and the cord cracked. I dunno how I feel about the Satisfyer cause there have been times that it’s been a 5 star experience and times when the battery has run out before anything happened. The reviews are almost all positive so I was wondering if anyone else is like me. The sensation is not my fave but sometimes it works.
 
Cable 7 said:
When I think sex toys, I think about either those ovipositor dildos some injun invented, or the terrifying shit you find on aliexpress.
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I followed a link within your link and found this horrifying toy. We all know where this poor little man's headed.

LittleSacrifice6@x300.png
 
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That aliexpress one sounds terrifying. I can imagine it malfunctioning and overheating in someone's puss or ass. But the animations of it working are hilarious (especially the clit flicker) . I hope someone makes it their avatar.

Maskull said:
I followed a link within your link and found this horrifying toy. We all know where this poor little man's headed.

View attachment 1426740
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This is the kind of dildo I'd legit buy for novelty/aesthetic purposes.
 
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Cable 7 said:
When I think sex toys, I think about either those ovipositor dildos some injun invented, or the terrifying shit you find on aliexpress.
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so thanks to you, I have this now.
ezgif.com-crop.gif

I don't know what to do with it, but I have it now.

Maskull said:
I followed a link within your link and found this horrifying toy. We all know where this poor little man's headed.

View attachment 1426740
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You can't just post this shit and not link
ETA: found it. Capture.PNG
1593899072988.png

fucking degenerate.
 
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Bloitzhole said:
Not the realistic (or oversized) ones, that's probably for those people wishing a horse or whatever would rape 'em (I still wonder how that happens. Like fetishes are developed during childhood via trauma n stuff right? what the fuck human psyche).
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The Horse rape fetish is developed by watching "My Little Pony"
 
Bloitzhole said:
I have two female acquaintances who own BD item(s). Not the realistic (or oversized) ones, that's probably for those people wishing a horse or whatever would rape 'em (I still wonder how that happens. Like fetishes are developed during childhood via trauma n stuff right? what the fuck human psyche). Gotta say, they're incredibly funny to look at and wave about. I dare say that a lot of people would just think it's a weird decorative sculpture if they didn't examine it. Apparently, in use, they have a lot of textures and unique shapes so they just feel different than most other dildos you can buy. They also sell a weird ass lube that made me gag when I touched it (which is, apparently, hilarious). It has a genuinely disconcerting, slimy af viscosity *shiver*
Click to expand...
I'd harrow a guess it was "cum lube", made to look and feel like semi realistic semen so you can shoot it inside you and have the sensation of being creampied without running the risk of getting pregnant or catching an std.
 
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