Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,661
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For comparison.
She edited as much as she could around her tats.
 
I'm trying to picture Tesstanic's bikini bottoms here. They're tie offs. Can you imagine how MASSIVE that suit has to be if she has to tie it to make way for her uber-ample everything? Tess, the horror that keeps on giving.

Also what a depressing way to spend any birthday let alone one in your mid 30's. I can see her whining and fit throwing in a group chat to all her 'super gay gal/non binary besties' that no one 'Has bought me a cake for my birthday yet.....YES I'VE CHECKED! I know every Bakery and patisserie in California!!! It's because I'm a hyper qweer moddle!"
 
100% voting for Trump now.
Plus, it's likely plus size women who aren't bopo exhibitionists would like more coverage in their swimwear. Not everyone wants their arsecheeks hanging out for close inspection. Or their lower stomach. Maybe also they'd like swimwear that is suitable for actual swimming, not sitting sedentary poolside or just slumped and sharing ass germs in a hot tub with other fatties.
If you check Lane Bryant or Torrid, the bikinis on there are actually very modest. The tops cover everything very well and some almost touch the bottoms because they cover so much of the stomach. It'd be a lot more practical for swimming and most other summer activities, but we all know she was thirstposting and doesn't actually care.
Or you could just laugh. Saying this will get YOU laughed at.
If Tess came at me with that shit, I'd start lecturing the hell out of her on the systems of oppression (including ones that are effectively slavery) that go into keeping her grossly overfed on the delicacies of her choice, and also able to choose from (and, formerly, make a living moddleing) a variety of inexpensive, impractical, and practically disposable clothing made to please her ridiculous tastes and size. I could even get into the virtual slavery and actual oppression that go into making the smartphone she can't live without, but food and fashion really hit her where she lives.

(I don't normally give lectures like that, but given the madness of these times I'm totally prepared to do so; the best defense is a good offense, and all.)
Hasn't there been speculation about how suspiciously cheap Fabletics is? Do you think if she found out the brand she's been repping has child slaves making her clothes that she'd put her money where her mouth is and shun them?
 
If Tess came at me with that shit, I'd start lecturing the hell out of her on the systems of oppression (including ones that are effectively slavery) that go into keeping her grossly overfed on the delicacies of her choice, and also able to choose from (and, formerly, make a living moddleing) a variety of inexpensive, impractical, and practically disposable clothing made to please her ridiculous tastes and size. I could even get into the virtual slavery and actual oppression that go into making the smartphone she can't live without, but food and fashion really hit her where she lives.

(I don't normally give lectures like that, but given the madness of these times I'm totally prepared to do so; the best defense is a good offense, and all.)

Honestly I doubt Tess is that quick on her feet (in many ways lol). Realistically I just see her huffing and puffing and blurting out a word salad of various phrases, jumbled together and poorly constructed as her piggy face gets redder and redder as she gets angrier that she’s being called out at all. I’ve seen enough of these people who pretend to have all the right quips to say online but aren’t actually that clever IRL.
 
If Tess came at me with that shit, I'd start lecturing the hell out of her on the systems of oppression (including ones that are effectively slavery) that go into keeping her grossly overfed on the delicacies of her choice, and also able to choose from (and, formerly, make a living moddleing) a variety of inexpensive, impractical, and practically disposable clothing made to please her ridiculous tastes and size. I could even get into the virtual slavery and actual oppression that go into making the smartphone she can't live without, but food and fashion really hit her where she lives.

(I don't normally give lectures like that, but given the madness of these times I'm totally prepared to do so; the best defense is a good offense, and all.)

Yup. We can start with asking her, "Where are Fabletics, your ultra-cheap, tissue-thin, disposable synthetic leggings that you probably wear holes in within two wears, but heap praise upon for making the things in bigger sizes, manufactured?"

Answer: According to the company itself, "Most of out factories are in Asia." 'Asia' ... a continent. What they really mean is the likes of 'Asia' is probably embarrassing facts like, 'Factories in Bangladesh similar to the Rana Plaza clothing factory that collapsed on top on its workforce" and 'Factories in China that use forced labour' amongst other non-feelgood facts.

I personally think much of this stuff is beyond the reach of an individual to change - you need wholescale reform to push manufacturing back to the west and prohibitative tariffs on foriegn imports etc to deal with this - or you can wait decades for improvements within each country as their economy develops - but if you're going to be a screechy, hectoring SJW better-than-thou, greedy fat fuck like Tess, you deserve to have your every gross hypocrisy thrown in your face.
 
Well well well, while Tess and Jolene are pretending to be wealthy moddle and PA in Palm Springs, Facebook gives us the real scoop!

I do this with Misty Henry all the time; I have NO idea why it never occurred to me to search out Ryann and Jolene's public posts before.

So as of just two weeks ago, Jolene was commanded to beg for money to take Tess's cat to the vet. We learn that no one in the house actually has a job right now (no surprise there); "their" savings is completely drained; and Jolene was planning to start selling her belongings to cover expenses.
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So let's make this timeline:
May 1st - Tess's last monthly sponsored Fabletics post [she'd had a monthly contract from them since late 2019 and it seems like this one check is what she'd been using to pay her bills; it was always done at the beginning of the month]

June 21 - Jolene posts that the entire household is without income or savings of any kind, and begs for cash

June 23 - Tess gets a one-off #spon post from Fabletics, for their BLM fundraiser shirt

June 25 - Tess's obvious sex work photos from the hotel are posted

July 1 thru 5 - no Fabletics sponsored post; confirms that the monthly check is no more.

July 7 - time to go on vacation! Temporarily flush from the one-off and the feeder session, Tess and Jolene jet off to Palm Springs with a handful of friends.


This is why no one should ever give white trash money, kids. Within two weeks of being completely, absolutely out of money and with no future jobs on the horizon, they decided to blow cash on a birthday vacation rather than putting it by for necessities. They're like children who have no sense that they're still going to have basic expenses and zero income in another two weeks.

And where is Bowie while they're both fucking off to Palm Springs? Did Tess dump both her kids on her ex boyfriend and expect him to support them for free?

Edit: Tess's personal Facebook account is under her first and middle names, just FYI. She used to make tons of hilarious and lulzy public posts before the agency cleaned her public image up and shut down all her old, very public drama.
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Well well well, while Tess and Jolene are pretending to be wealthy moddle and PA in Palm Springs, Facebook gives us the real scoop!

I do this with Misty Henry all the time; I have NO idea why it never occurred to me to search out Ryann and Jolene's public posts before.

So as of just two weeks ago, Jolene was commanded to beg for money to take Tess's cat to the vet. We learn that no one in the house actually has a job right now (no surprise there); "their" savings is completely drained; and Jolene was planning to start selling her belongings to cover expenses.
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So let's make this timeline:
May 1st - Tess's last monthly sponsored Fabletics post [she'd had a monthly contract from them since late 2019 and it seems like this one check is what she'd been using to pay her bills; it was always done at the beginning of the month]

June 21 - Jolene posts that the entire household is without income or savings of any kind, and begs for cash

June 23 - Tess gets a one-off #spon post from Fabletics, for their BLM fundraiser shirt

June 25 - Tess's obvious sex work photos from the hotel are posted

July 1 thru 5 - no Fabletics sponsored post; confirms that the monthly check is no more.

July 7 - time to go on vacation! Temporarily flush from the one-off and the feeder session, Tess and Jolene jet off to Palm Springs with a handful of friends.


This is why no one should ever give white trash money, kids. Within two weeks of being completely, absolutely out of money and with no future jobs on the horizon, they decided to blow cash on a birthday vacation rather than putting it by for necessities. They're like children who have no sense that they're still going to have basic expenses and zero income in another two weeks.

And where is Bowie while they're both fucking off to Palm Springs? Did Tess dump both her kids on her ex boyfriend and expect him to support them for free?

Edit: Tess's personal Facebook account is under her first and middle names, just FYI. She used to make tons of hilarious and lulzy public posts before the agency cleaned her public image up and shut down all her old, very public drama.
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Nice finds! This confirms that all of this woke crap is done out of sheer desperation to get any kind of bookings whatsoever. Except Tess is so anti-white that she more than anyone must understand why no agency should book her, as giving a fat white woman model any money is white supremacy.
 
So instead of taking proper care of her cat (hint Tess - don't let your ex-stray wander outside and they won't get into fights and sustain constant injuries), her kids, or her general immediate future, Tess blows whatever cash she got from hooking on a stupid party with some fat fuck friends in another town, in an attempt to pretend she's still living the glam life of a supahmoddle.

You can bet that much of the new hooking/Fabletics cash went on a series of expensive takeouts too, as well as booze.

I look forward to the posts from the homeless shelter from both of them.

The only one I feel sorry for is the cat, having fallen into the hands of such useless humans.

ETA: Oh, and I love how she tries to gain oppression points by saying she's judged for being fat, tatted and 'queer'. The first two are entirely under your control, Tess, in fact the second is evidence of having enough cash to throw at frivolities; and the third is nothing anyone would ever think you were by looking at you, or by knowing your actual relationship history. Your average passer-by probably only judges her briefly for being a greedy fat fuck, tats are common enough these days that nobody in an urban area would even blink an eye at them.

Oh, and this total lack of cash flow puts paid to the idea that they were tested for La Coof before their party. They can't afford basic bills, no way can they afford to skip queues and pay for a COVID-19 test.
 
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We’ve been saying now that this over the top woke persona is going to backlash against her. Looks like this is well underway. Here we see her argue against minorities for having the wrong opinions. This isn’t going unnoticed by others and is going to bite her in her enormous ass.
As usual, the people that claim to be anti-racist usually end up being more racist. Tess only likes minorities if they share her opinions.
 
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