Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[Bees]

Still falling.

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

Mangosteen is a pretty yummy fruit fresh, but kind of expensive. I also failed to gain the benefits that Lowtax promised when I've eaten it.

He shilled mangosteen shit for the same reason that he shilled Goldbelly -- as a lazy cash grab and nothing more.

A recurring pattern I've noticed with Richard is that he is extremely averse to exerting any effort on literally anything. He likes multi-level marketing schemes like Amazon Affiliates and Goldbelly commissions because he can just make a post on an internet forum and the cash comes tumbling in. He tried to become a Let's Play superstar because he heard that you could make big money by simply playing video games on a stream, but when he didn't like some of the comments in chat he melted down and decided to just watch old videos on his stream and talk over them instead of, y'know, going to the effort of pressing buttons on a video game controller. When relaunching the front page he did almost nothing whatsoever except yell at people who asked for better pay; from what I've heard all of the actual legwork of getting new writers and editors was handled by Logan. The forums themselves are staffed entirely by volunteers who work themselves into the ground for absolutely nothing while Richard does fuckall except rake in the cash.

The plan that Logan Day pitched was a wet dream to someone like Richard, because it revolved around making a return on the Something Awful brand through absolutely no effort on Richard's part whatsoever. The plan was to fill the front page with articles that were written by third parties who were paid almost nothing (because getting to work for the brand was compensation enough) and edited by third parties who were also paid as little as possible (because, once again, getting to work for the brand was compensation enough). Earning a return on the increased front page traffic was going to be automatic through a third-party ad system that required no maintenance or oversight, and as a bonus it would revitalize the forums, which function as basically a vending machine that provides intangible services in exchange for electronic payments and is administered by volunteers who are willing to dedicate all their time to the forum because they're working for the brand rather than for any compensation.

Whether this scheme would have worked had it been successfully implemented, we do not know. What we do know is that the implementation required a lot of hard work on Richard's part, so he didn't bother; he simply delegated every task to Logan except the centrally important 24/7 duty of laying around the house emitting flatus. He was so dedicated to holding down the sofa that he ignored Logan's declining mental state until she had a full-on meltdown, at which point he threw her out of the house and went back to sleep. His entire life is now burning to ash around him, and he barely seems to have noticed.

Richard is a remarkably lazy man; I remember him "ironically" complaining on his twitter that he'd bought a hundred or so Hearthstone card packs and it was a lot of effort to click on every card in every pack. Richard lucked into a bunch of money, squandered all of it, made a lot of friends, turned all of them into enemies, had some kids, had all of them taken away from him, became famous, and pissed away every bit of goodwill anybody ever felt toward him. Almost every failure that has occurred in Richard's life was a consequence of his laziness. There exist slime molds that exert more effort to improve their lives than Richard did.

 

[Manah]

Also totally normal for your daughter to have your name in her phone as "birth giver"

Why is her father listed as 'birth giver'

 

[Pumpkin Girl IRL]

Because his responsibilities ended when he cum dumped.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Because his responsibilities ended when he cum dumped.

This makes him a sperm donor. Birth giver is a stupid name meant to degrade the mother.

I think there’s confusion on the screenshots. I think Megan is listed as “birth giver” in Lowtax contacts, seems just like something he would do.

 

[northstar747]

This makes him a sperm donor. Birth giver is a stupid name meant to degrade the mother.

I think there’s confusion on the screenshots. I think Megan is listed as “birth giver” in Lowtax contacts, seems just like something he would do.

I noticed that too but were talking mid west christian family values and a tween ager.

So I am inclined to say give it a pass.

 

[Pumpkin Girl IRL]

Look man I just wanted to dunk on Lowtax don't bring that accuracy shit in here.

 

[Long Tongue Silver]

Without the money, e-fame or his parents support (because let's face it -- he's gonna spend the rest of his life mooching off of mommy when shit finally hits the fan), Lowtax would likely be just another methed-out trailer dweller floating from low-wage job to low-wage job when he's not either in jail or on a manic booze-and-meth-fueled binder that gets him put in jail. Basically, your standard-issue Midwestern white trash failure.

Can't help but think about the bible parable of the talents. Lowtax was blessed with easy money and instead of putting that shit to work to make a Notch-tier fortune, he flushed it all down the drain.

View attachment 1435564

Always amazes me to see just how poorly Lowtax aged over the years. Young Tax and Old Tax don't even look like the same person. Booze, pills and Goldbelly pies, man...

 

[Trip Chesterton III]

This makes him a sperm donor. Birth giver is a stupid name meant to degrade the mother.

I think there’s confusion on the screenshots. I think Megan is listed as “birth giver” in Lowtax contacts, seems just like something he would do.

Why would Lowtax leak the text though?

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Always amazes me to see just how poorly Lowtax aged over the years. Young Tax and Old Tax don't even look like the same person. Booze, pills and Goldbelly pies, man...

The last four years have actually been the worst. He looked fine in his wedding photos with Ashli. His adventure meeting and marrying Ashli seems like the last hurrah before he climbed into bed, started eating pies, pills by the fistful, got fat and stopped grooming.

I know he will blame his back pain but I think he just checked out once Sloan was born. His aching back was an excuse to hide away in his bedroom and be a fat, depressed, drug addict and not have to change diapers or have his sleep time destroyed.

I don’t think Lowtax had any immediate desire for a third child and Ashli getting pregnant so soon set the stage for a real shitshow of extreme resentment from both sides.

Why would Lowtax leak the text though?

My guess was it was a screenshot Ashli took from Lowtax’s phone, and his daughter was using a mobile number he had listed under Megan’s name to text him. (Given his daughter’s ages I think it’s safe to assume they use mom’s phone or one under her account)

It’s a really weird photo - literally someone taking a photo of a hand holding the phone with the text screen up, not an actual screen shot. Maybe they did that to make it more authentic since that would be harder to fake or edit than your average screenshot of a text msg screen

 

[Something Awful]

Why would Lowtax leak the text though?

Because it shows him dishing out a sick burn on his dumb daughter.

Unlikely? Yes, but it's fucking Lowtax, the guy who leaked that recording of him coaching Logan to say she fell down the stairs or something, because he thought that made him look good. Vindication!

 

[Shield Breaker]

Why would Lowtax leak the text though?

Because he's a dumbass druggie.

 

[Brad Gray]

here is something to remember about addicts who are in active addiction: EVERYTHING IS A LIE

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

I'm beginning to think that "Cliff Yablonski: Freedom Fighter" is never going to get released.

 

[AnOminous]

Because he's a dumbass druggie.

He's repeatedly leaked shit that makes him look terrible and that he had no rational reason to think would make him look good. It's like when Shmorky leaked that shit with Mandy in it. Sure it was funny and made her look crazy, but then the second thought was hey, isn't this scumbag mocking some crazy woman having a breakdown? And then it was "oh and he even got her off her meds to do this too."

It wasn't really long from that to Shmorks being utterly destroyed and now LowT is doing the same to himself.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Why would Lowtax leak the text though?

here is something to remember about addicts who are in active addiction: EVERYTHING IS A LIE

while i do not personally know if richard is a drug addict, he seems to be exhibiting the classic traits of some pretty serious mental illness. if you have questions about addiction or feel your life is in danger please contact me offline. i speak with some authority on the matter. thank you for your time.

He’s followed such a textbook case of prescription drug addiction that I’m shocked mods and goons haven’t staged some weird forum intervention.

Well, no I’m not,they are cowardly and half of them use the same type of excuses for why they must stay home all day and take drugs. Usually, goons claim anxiety and PTSD, but plenty have mysterious chronic pain conditions which the only treatment is more pills, more often.

However, goons throwing gobs of money at Lowtax led us to watch this epic bender unfold plus enough extra cash to fund epic stupidity like leasing a sports car and having an affair with a 26 year old bunny boiler in Utah.

Logan might have inadvertently saved his life because if he was living alone and getting $14k a month he probably would have been dead in a year via an OD.

 

[Pepper Jack]

Logan might have inadvertently saved his life because if he was living alone and getting $14k a month he probably would have been dead in a year via an OD.

You are correct. This is a major crossroads for Rich. I am 100% confident he is buying opiods off the street due to changes in refill schedules for Schedule 2 drugs. His income is way down and in addition to no longer affording Goldbelly, he likely won't be able to afford his expensive pill habit either.

He either uses this as a wakeup call to get help or he will eventually turn to heroin like other pillheads that can no longer afford the habit.

 

[Sanshain]

Richard is a remarkably lazy man; I remember him "ironically" complaining on his twitter that he'd bought a hundred or so Hearthstone card packs and it was a lot of effort to click on every card in every pack. Richard lucked into a bunch of money, squandered all of it, made a lot of friends, turned all of them into enemies, had some kids, had all of them taken away from him, became famous, and pissed away every bit of goodwill anybody ever felt toward him. Almost every failure that has occurred in Richard's life was a consequence of his laziness. There exist slime molds that exert more effort to improve their lives than Richard did.

This is pretty textbook behavior for someone on strong painkillers with depressive tendencies. I've known a few people who've been on them, and they've all said that after a while, everything else just stops mattering. It's the same with weed, and really any other euphoric drug. You can't make things matter to this kind of person. All that will happen is they'll fake progress for a little so you'll stop bothering them and then immediately relapse. It's a remarkably powerful psychological drive. In a way, they are still extremely well-motivated individuals, willing to endure extreme harm and hardship. It's just completely focused on getting back to that nice, mindless state of not-caring where nothing matters and life, no matter how bad, just drifts by in the background. Some people on painkillers even deliberately break their own bones because they're willing to endure the agony of significant physical trauma in the short tern to get back to that state of mindlessness.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

This is pretty textbook behavior for someone on strong painkillers with depressive tendencies. I've known a few people who've been on them, and they've all said that after a while, everything else just stops mattering. It's the same with weed, and really any other euphoric drug. You can't make things matter to this kind of person. All that will happen is they'll fake progress for a little so you'll stop bothering them and then immediately relapse. It's a remarkably powerful psychological drive. In a way, they are still extremely well-motivated individuals, willing to endure extreme harm and hardship. It's just completely focused on getting back to that nice, mindless state of not-caring where nothing matters and life, no matter how bad, just drifts by in the background. Some people on painkillers even deliberately break their own bones because they're willing to endure the agony of significant physical trauma in the short tern to get back to that state of mindlessness.

Rich is already doing something similar via needless back procedures. Notice he had a flair up of back pain right as the shit was hitting the fan with Logan. (Seemed to follow a similar timeline when he was having fights with Ashli too.)

He obviously hit up his doctor for more pills because the “back pain” was so bad, i.e. ran to try and get more drugs to cope with the latest meltdown in his personal life. Lowtax goes to the doctor and pleads sheer agony, needs more/stronger pills, but the doctor insists on trying other things before green lighting more or stronger drugs. So Lowtax gets an epidural, which surprising totally does nothing! Doctor then says well if it's that bad we need to do more surgery. Doctor might have whipped out the old Rx pad at that point to "get him through till surgery" or whatnot. Then he will get some extra goodies to recovery from surgery too. If Lowtax doesn't agree to surgery then it looks the pain isn't really that bad if he's not willing to go through the hoops the doctor says will help treat the cause of the pain. It's a very common scenario. The amount of unneeded medical procedures done just so addicts can keep the spice flowing is unreal.

Pill mill croakers will just keep writing the scripts but most half-way legit doctors won't keep enabling obvious opiate addiction without trying other treatment interventions, it also makes it economic sense to their practice. Lowtax will go along with whatever to keep the scripts going and to make it appear like a very serious physical problem and certainly not addiction to pills, which he is certainly allergic to anyway.

 

[northstar747]

Speaking of Clif B which is what brought me to forums. I wish he would just do more Clif with the troon crew.