Inactive Nick Bate / Nickalaus B. Stoutzenberger (Thread 2: THE RECKONING)

[Dr. Meme]

EDIT: And yes, I think Nick has admitted to not wiping. Something about how he prefers to "air-dry." Puke buckets are off to the left, you're welcome.

Good idea, that should ward off potential prison rapists.

 

[Ambien Walrus]

This is Nick. He may have had a sober-up moment a bit ago, but that dumb bastard is not only going to tell someone exactly what he did, he's going to boast about it. That is how fucking dumb he is.

He may end up the only person beaten to death in protective custody by the other people in protective custody.

Depending on the facility, there are PC units that are more or less like the mainline, save for the type of offender housed there. A some PC units house offenders that are otherwise "solid", except for things like leaving a gang or getting into a lot of "drama" with other offenders (read: fights). The detention centre here houses the rats, rape hounds and goofs in a PC unit that's separate from the other PC units. Federal pens will put these scumbags in "Special Needs" units.

It's quite possible that he gets the living shit kicked out of him while in PC, depending on who else is housed in the unit. Throw in his hygiene habits and other atrocities and he's going to have a rough go. Another poster said that he'd likely go into the joint nervous and making a lot of random-humour comments,, which is an accurate assessment. Offenders can easily home in on someone being nervous and capitalize on this and they absolutely hate new people on their units that won't stfu, especially if they're saying stupid shit. It usually results in a beating and the person being bounced from the unit. If it's a more violent facility, it could be much worse than this.

As I said in an earlier post, the only place for him is Ad Seg, where he'll be in a cell 23 hours a day.

Good idea, that should ward off potential prison rapists.

It'll most likely make him an even bigger target. Offenders really don't like filthy people on their units.

 

[AnchuentProphecy]

Found this lovely art on the top of Nick's Encyclopedia Dramatica page today.

Spoiler

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

 

[4Macie]

I thought the confetti on the top of the kiwi was due to something about Chris and his trial... Glad it's about Nick

I'm so proud of Amber. It took so much for that little girl to do what she's done. And her dad too. I'm so happy someone believed her and looked into it.

I, personally, don't want anyone to touch or harm Nick in prison.... I don't want anyone to have ANY interaction with him. He'd be all alone, to his own thoughts, as he slowly went insane from a lack of all his comfy things.

And then.... On the day before his release, years down the road, when he's thinking about all the internet stuff he's gonna do.... I want something to end him....

 

[Chipmunk With A Banana]

So, no anus porn this Christmas for Nick, I'm guessing?

 

[Atlas 95]

EDIT: And yes, I think Nick has admitted to not wiping. Something about how he prefers to "air-dry." Puke buckets are off to the left, you're welcome.

Now, I'm not saying I'm ungrateful for the puke buckets, but all the same I'm going to need a 12 gauge to the head to evacuate that particular factoid. Just when you think he can't sink any lower....

And then.... On the day before his release, years down the road, when he's thinking about all the internet stuff he's gonna do.... I want something to end him....

If there is anything resembling justice in this universe, he will walk out of prison sometime in the 2060's and get completely wiped out by a crashing hover truck

So, no anus porn this Christmas for Nick, I'm guessing?

Oh there will be

Spoiler

He'll be staring in it. I'd make a joke about Saint Nick's Christmas Cave but 'saint' and 'Nick Bate' simply don't belong in the same sentence

 

[pickleparty]

Hope he doesn't last a day in prison.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

I wish jail/prisons offered cell phones to let prisoners to tweet from.
5m Nick Bate
"I'm aboot to talk to this man with a shaved head aboot pookemon lol"
1m Lancaster News
"Lancaster PD reports an inmate has been stabbed to death"

 

[DC 740]

I have to admit that I'm here 99% for Chris antics so I'm a little bit noob when it comes to Nick lore. Is he really someone who refuses to even wipe the shit out of his own asscrack? Aside from the absolutely hideous smell he'd reek of everywhere he goes, that should also lead to some major life-threatening conditions that would make Chris' taint piercing look mild in comparison.

Listen, I'm going to say right now - you know that experience you had when you first heard of Chris? A manchild and his antics? Some of the disgusting shit he did?

It's not the same with Nick. When I first read into Nick my gut started wrenching and I wanted to find this person and destroy every fiber of their being. All I'm going to say is that you better be fuckin' ready for what you are getting into. This guy going to jail is almost a mercy killing for what he has done.

 

[LordCustos3]

See Nick's hair in this mugshot? Notice how long it is? Another fun fact about prison that I read about from Ozzy Osbourne's autobiography was that he shaved off all his hair the minute he had possession of a blade because he was under constant threat of being raped at the showers.

Nick?
Shower?

We are talking about a guy who never drops the soap because he would never pick it up.

Also, he wouldn't want Solitary. They clean with a firehose in Solitary.

 

[Ambien Walrus]

If only they could send him to one of the maximum security pens here just so he could try talking "Canadian" with Canadian inmates.

They'd slit his throot.

 

[AnchuentProphecy]

I'm suprised no one's posted this video yet

Spoiler: Bubba

 

[Peter Capaldi]

If somebody really wants to see the infamous video of the Nickalaus Stoutzenberger rubbing feces against his genitals, here is a link to the streaming version in the old thread:

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOT GONNA CLICK THAT.

 

[Shadow]

Nick?
Shower?

We are talking about a guy who never drops the soap because he would never pick it up.

You're assuming soap is part of the equation at all...

EDIT: Wait, I think I parsed "never pick it up" wrong.

 

[LordCustos3]

Mods, is it OK for us to make rape jokes in this thread? Please? I know it's a bit much for it to happen to Chris but THIS guy really has it comin'.

Welllll, actually, it'll be Bubba and Jethro that'll be doin' the cummin'.
(B'dum'TUSH!)

 

[Lunachu]

I'm thinking back years here and could be completely wrong, but wasn't there a guy trying to shield Nick from consequences once? Advising him what comments about his sister to remove etc so he wouldn't get caught.

If I'm remembering this correctly I wonder what he thinks of all this. And I wonder if he could get in trouble for trying to cover up a crime.

 

[Reshiram]

Where does it say that Amber went to the police? Was it Amber who kickstarted this whole thing?

 

[Frank Rizzo]

I'm thinking back years here and could be completely wrong, but wasn't there a guy trying to shield Nick from consequences once? Advising him what comments about his sister to remove etc so he wouldn't get caught.

If I'm remembering this correctly I wonder what he thinks of all this. And I wonder if he could get in trouble for trying to cover up a crime.

Would that count as obstruction of justice?

 

[Ancani]

I'm thinking back years here and could be completely wrong, but wasn't there a guy trying to shield Nick from consequences once? Advising him what comments about his sister to remove etc so he wouldn't get caught.

If I'm remembering this correctly I wonder what he thinks of all this. And I wonder if he could get in trouble for trying to cover up a crime.

Was it Jessa, by any chance? She was always a bit weirdly defensive of Nick in general, and I do seem to recall her essentially telling him not to post about it.