🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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It's not like he'd have far to go to pull out. When he says "just the tip" he's actually talking about what can actually make it in before the gunt gets in the way.

I forgot this detail. And haven't seen the evidence. Would people say that Ethan Ralph is the GG Allin of Bloodsports? In crotch profile, not entertainment obvs
 
Glad to see Shannon has fully committed to becoming Vee (well the old version, anyway)



Hopefully Null’s interest in this will pique Gunt’s interest enough to come sperg in the thread.
I’m looking forward to the shitshow when the inevitable break-up occurs. Maybe we’ll finally get the 4k gunt pictures!
Old version of Vee? Has he gotten better? I always had some small kernal of sympathy for the gypsy.
 
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Stop "crying" bro :lit:
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Ralph writing about himself in the third person because he is an "investigative journalist," never gets old.

Also @theralph, pretending you're Trump in the 2016 primaries doesn't work when you are an aged drunk who has to wait 20 minutes before his girlfriend can find his penis.
 
I will never understand why Ralph thinks everything that happens on the Farms is in reference to him. His thread isn't even that large and it doesn't move that fast. He is woefully unimportant.
He's reminding me a bit of Matt Myers in the way he harps about the Farms and his thread. The only difference is that Ralph is a drunk redneck with quadruple digit page numbers while Matt Myers is a sex pest with a thread that hasn't reached 50 pages.
 
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Stop "crying" bro :lit:
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The best part about this is I was checking the descriptions for other guests and checking out his website recently and a few months ago, this is the first substantial update in over 3 years now.
Ralph refused to touch his website until he could use it as a jab against Null, what a salty inept faggot.
 
The best part about this is I was checking the descriptions for other guests and checking out his website recently and a few months ago, this is the first substantial update in over 3 years now.
Ralph refused to touch his website until he could use it as a jab against Null, what a salty inept faggot.
Pretty pathetic but very much in line with his previous behavior.
 
I will never understand why Ralph thinks everything that happens on the Farms is in reference to him. His thread isn't even that large and it doesn't move that fast. He is woefully unimportant.

This thread is a personification of Josh. Ralph seethes because it is graciously hosted on Josh's website and Ethan really thought he and Null had a budding relationship before the Corn joke killed his homoerotic fantasy. He really thought was different to all of the rest of the Lolcows. :(

Also Ralph is a petty drunk who can't think straight with the light on.
 
Furthermore lets not forget that Ralph only started bragging about it when the internet found out his girl was just out of highschool jailbait, before that he was keeping it low key needs to no basis which IMO means deep down he knows what he is doing is not popular and generally looked down upon by the average person. I doubt male pornstars brag about banging 18 year olds, they probably tell people they are 22 or older because its bordering sketchy territory.
 
Ethan really thought he and Null had a budding relationship before the Corn joke killed his homoerotic fantasy
I have never hated Ralph and I still don't. I attribute his blustering to his dependency and find it hard to ascribe it to him directly. I think the only reason he's holding this much of a grudge is because, many dozens of pages ago, I predicted that this would be like his other tantrums. He takes offense to something I say, comes to post on the Kiwi Farms, gets told the crude truth, storms off, then realizes some time later I was right and pretends it didn't happen. If there's any chance of that happening this time, it will come after his current round of enablers have stopped laughing automatically at all his jokes and fucked off to do their own thing.
 
I have never hated Ralph and I still don't. I attribute his blustering to his dependency and find it hard to ascribe it to him directly. I think the only reason he's holding this much of a grudge is because, many dozens of pages ago, I predicted that this would be like his other tantrums. He takes offense to something I say, comes to post on the Kiwi Farms, gets told the crude truth, storms off, then realizes some time later I was right and pretends it didn't happen. If there's any chance of that happening this time, it will come after his current round of enablers have stopped laughing automatically at all his jokes and fucked off to do their own thing.

I been watching/hate watching ralph for years and what I can gather from him is he is very egocentric and petty. You will be best of buds with him if you praise him and speak positive of him. The second you make a joke at his expense or disrespect him he will turn on a dime. People like that are troublesome because you need to approach them with the "Yes Boss" mentality to keep them happy which is ridiculous for most people with a spine.
 
I have never hated Ralph and I still don't. I attribute his blustering to his dependency and find it hard to ascribe it to him directly. I think the only reason he's holding this much of a grudge is because, many dozens of pages ago, I predicted that this would be like his other tantrums. He takes offense to something I say, comes to post on the Kiwi Farms, gets told the crude truth, storms off, then realizes some time later I was right and pretends it didn't happen. If there's any chance of that happening this time, it will come after his current round of enablers have stopped laughing automatically at all his jokes and fucked off to do their own thing.
I don't think Ralph understands your nuance.
 
Stop "crying" bro :lit:
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Estranged from the show. As if The Ralph Retort is some kind of religious ministry and Null has "fallen away" for cross dressing or buttering his own toast on the Sabbath.

It all started when Ralph called all his acolytes to Mount Coomer, telling them that all the women under 18 had to be surrendered to him and no one aside from him was allowed to have sex because it was a spiritual burden that only he could bear. Not even married couples! Especially not married couples! Ralph was still particularly salty that such unions could exist even after his own wife had slipped his grasp, fleeing to another country under control of some of his worst enemies.

But Joshua Conner Moon had no underage women and had previously been caught talking about the potential necessity of sacrificing Ralph to the corn to ensure the harvest that year, and so Ralph cast him out that very day. Joshua Conner Moon was placed into a car with several other "Lost Boys" and "Paypigs" as they're known, driven to the edge of town and told to "go on" and "git".

Some say you can still see his disabled brother still on the edge of town, waiting for Ralph to "totally come get him once things are better". He continues to subsist on the charity of other castoffs and the state. All very sad.
 
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