I dunno what kind of TERFs you're talking to. I'm not intimately involved in that scene but many I know who would call themselves as such are lesbians and have sexual feelings and thoughts, and aren't scared of them or trying to repress them. I agree there are some feminists who seem to believe women are inherently asexual and get sex foisted upon them, but the majority of women I know would argue instead that they have things they don't sexually like foisted upon them by (almost always) men. The most common examples I've personally seen are a boyfriend (or even fwb) pressuring the girl into anal or a threesome, with both of these being typically male fantasies. The distinction being women are sexual (duh), but they aren't always sexual in the way men (and by extension, MUH PATRIARCHY) want them to be. You see this all the time - guys being grossed out by actual lesbians because they're not the porn stars they thought they would be, or having rude awakenings about anal being poopy (hah) or threesomes being awkward.
I truly don't believe most women would get aroused from a picture of themselves, which is a pretty bold claim to make (I don't have insight on this, but do guys get off to pics of themselves? Even gay guys?). Masturbating while watching yourself, especially in a workshop
about masturbating your genitals to me doesn't scream "vagina fetish" either (which doesn't exist), because you aren't necessarily masturbating to your genitals, just watching a process you don't get to see very often. Most women don't know what their junk looks like intimately, and watching themselves be touched can be arousing in the same way that watching someone go down on you is arousing without you having an oral fetish. If the whole point is to masturbate your genitals while becoming familiar with a part of your body you don't get to ruddy see 99% of the time, with the end goal of knowing what feels good and where...you're kind of doing it wrong if you're not watching yourself masturbate. Especially if you've paid for the workshop.
Being aroused from wearing lingerie isn't (usually, I maintain that a small amount of women could be aroused literally only from the lingerie, but I've never ever seen or heard it) about the lingerie itself but what it signifies - your partner getting hot and bothered, being about to do a sex, being seen as hot and sexy by another person. Looking in a mirror wearing lingerie and masturbating is pretty squarely in "things a dude would do if he had a woman's body for a day", because even lesbian women aren't getting off to themselves, or getting aroused from seeing a bra on the floor, or from thinking of their boobs. That literally doesn't happen, and basically only men and troons (so, men) are under the firm impression that it must.
I dunno if it makes me a big bad feminazi to say that women aren't taught how to pleasure themselves, and for a long time, nobody cared if they were. The female orgasm being a myth, the lack of sex education, and the general awkwardness of talking about masturbation along with weird Puritan beliefs lead to a LOT of women never learning to masturbate or even orgasm into their 20s, despite many being sexually active before then. Porn doesn't really help because it's a fantasy, and jackhammering a girl for 15 minutes isn't going to make a girl (usually) scream in a good way, but nobody teaches young people how sex should work: always mind your partner, and even just talk about what you like beforehand with a new partner and set boundaries ("don't stick it in my poop chute, and wear a condom"). But the problem with the latter, looping back to the masturbation workshop thing, is that most
women don't masturbate regularly period (don't blast me for HuffPost), and the vast majority do it once a week or less. One might infer that most women this have a low sex drive but IMO the problem is most women have tried masturbating unsuccessfully, likely without even orgasming, and never tried again. Or, put shortly, many women don't know what they like sexually. Not NO woman knows what she likes sexually - I'm sure Mr. Chad Thundercock's wife gets 10 billion orgasms a day - but many don't.
Less than half of women orgasm during straight sex, and only 6% orgasm regularly from it. Those rates are abysmal. I find the workshop kind of cringe, but I get where they're coming from.
I'm sure there are women who take racy pics of themselves in lingerie and get turned on, or are turned on by wearing lingerie under their clothes at work, or have a favorite pair of lingerie that they feel particularly sexy in. But none of these amount to a lingerie fetish, because it's never about the lingerie in isolation like it is with men, who get aroused from
wearing the lingerie. It's almost always about outside perception - my hubby thinks my butt looks cute in this babydoll, nobody knows I'm wearing lacy thongs to work and this is taboo (and, the most common continuation of this fantasy IME is "someone will catch me and be very aroused by it, and we will sex"), taking nudes of myself and posting them online or sending them to someone is risky and erotic and they will find it sexy. And it's normal (not necessarily common) for women to feel they look attractive in lingerie, but again this isn't indicative of a fetish. Wearing a one-piece and then looking in the mirror and going "damn girl you got it" isn't about being like "would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard" but rather "wow my body looks attractive in this thing and other people (be it a partner or their onlyfans) would think so too".
This legitimately retarded belief that women are aroused by themselves, thus AGP is debunked, is annoying as fuck because it really shows how troons are incapable of understanding women's perspectives (note how the women on this thread are saying "lol wtf no women don't have lingerie fetishes" and the token troons are saying "what no they totally do
") and how little people know about women's sexuality. Most women WANT to be sexy and desirable (most people in general do, but for women this is a particular point of importance as women are more valued for their appearances than men - not even being a scawy feminist here, just a fact) and for most women this precludes being physically and conventionally attractive.
This became a huge derail but this pants on head argument is aggravating to read.
