Creationists - Jack Chick, Kent Hovind, etc.

[Splendid]

For some reason, now I want to play an RPG campaign set in Jack's crazy world. You must fight rock music, Dungeons and Dragons, and Vatican Swiss Guard Assassins to convert the heathens to the word of The Lord (King James Only).
A Call of Chutlulu sanity meter would be fun too, decreasing whenever you're exposed to anti-Christian things or further uncover the International Jesuit Plot.

Fucking run this on the forum or on IRC or something and I will be all over it.
This is fucking genius.

 

[Mrs Paul]

Has Chick ever said anything about the Orthodox church? I don't think I've ever read one on Eastern Orthodoxy, but I could be wrong.
I've never encountered a Chick tract "in the wild". Religious tracts around here are pretty rare, at least in my experience.

And my personal favorite Chick parody of all time: (I'm surprised no one else has posted it)

 

[Chipmunk With A Banana]

And my 3rd favorite Chick tract is the one with the "Satan Jugend" type little shitmonster. It's like Jack poured every single hate he had about kids into this horrid little caricature.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0094/0094_01.asp
(go ahead. Give Jack the click traffic. You know you want to)

 

[Hat]

Has Chick ever said anything about the Orthodox church? I don't think I've ever read one on Eastern Orthodoxy, but I could be wrong.
I've never encount

He seems to have a favorable opinion of it, or at the very least he views it as a preferable alternative to Roman Catholicism.

 

[Linako 2.0]

This thread is about one of the most repugnant human beings alive

you've probably come across one of these pieces of shit

The way you wrote this is just begging for an A-log rating

Question for our non-American Keewee's:

Is biblical literalism a big thing outside the U.S.?

I think it's more of an american thing because of Puritans.
I think we can see why Briatain had no problem sending them off to the new world. Can you believe there are sects of Christianity that claims that dancing is a sin?

 

[Splendid]

The way you wrote this is just begging for an A-log rating



I think it's more of an american thing because of Puritans.
I think we can see why Briatain had no problem sending them off to the new world. Can you believe there are sects of Christianity that claims that dancing is a sin?

The dude literally claims that all people of my religion will burn in hell, and he has a lot of people who listen to him. Sorry if I sound a little A-Loggy, but he really, really pisses me off.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

The dude literally claims that all people of my religion will burn in hell, and he has a lot of people who listen to him. Sorry if I sound a little A-Loggy, but he really, really pisses me off.

Woah, woah there, friend. Be at peace. One needn't heed the words of the lolcow. Yes, he says silly shit. Yes, a few stupid people may listen. But he is a silly, silly man. Point and laugh at the silly man. Then continue with your day, butt unhurt.

 

[Pinball Lizard]

The way you wrote this is just begging for an A-log rating

Yeah, Chick is absolutely small potatoes as far as crazy fundies go. Compared to Fred Phelps, who believed gays should be given the death penalty, Randall Terry, who openly called for the murder of abortion doctors and is rumored to have been accessory to at least one such murder, the Christian Identity movement, who believe that the different human races are different species... Chick ain't even a blip on the radar.

Which, naturally, makes him lulzier than them.

 

[Morbid Boredom]

Has Chick ever said anything about the Orthodox church? I don't think I've ever read one on Eastern Orthodoxy, but I could be wrong.
I've never encountered a Chick tract "in the wild". Religious tracts around here are pretty rare, at least in my experience.

And my personal favorite Chick parody of all time: (I'm surprised no one else has posted it)

I love that comic.

Here's a recent breakdown of religion in the US, as you can see, 1 out of every 5 Americans are Catholic, and one half of Americans are Protestant -Mostly Evangelicals, like the Southern Baptist Convention closely followed by Mainliners. Less than one percent are any sort of Orthodox, so they likely never showed up on Chick's Radar.

Historically, Protestants are in Western Europe and would have clashed with Catholics. I'm not aware of "Protestant" offshoots of the Orthodox faith.

Spoiler: An aside

I grew up believing that Jack Chick and his weirdo Evangelicals were SOP for Protestants. Ignorance was a sword that cut both ways.

 

[Hat]

Frankly, I see the people that Chick associates himself with as a lot worse than he is. Alberto Rivera, for example, was an anti-Catholic con who was the source of Chick's crazy conspiracy theories. Chick's very paranoid and gullible, but he isn't malevolent.

 

[Pinball Lizard]

Frankly, I see the people that Chick associates himself with as a lot worse than he is. Alberto Rivera, for example, was an anti-Catholic con who was the source of Chick's crazy conspiracy theories. Chick's very paranoid and gullible, but he isn't malevolent.

And again, John Todd. Convicted rapist. Did time for it. Died in the looney bin. Chick still believes him.

 

[Trombonista]

Part of me wonders if Chick died like a year ago and the people running his site are covering it up.

 

[Ca Ira]

And my 3rd favorite Chick tract is the one with the "Satan Jugend" type little shitmonster. It's like Jack poured every single hate he had about kids into this horrid little caricature.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0094/0094_01.asp
(go ahead. Give Jack the click traffic. You know you want to)

One of the things that makes "The Last Generation?" one of my absolute favorite Chick Tracts is that it showcases Chick's tendency to lump all of his enemies in together. Thus, we have a future regime that is simultaneously a politically correct nanny state, fascist, Satanic and Catholic, that preaches belief in reincarnation and worship of an "Earth Mother," performs animal sacrifices, freely distributes drugs, and is also somehow tied in to the United Nations.

 

[Pinball Lizard]

Another member of the Chick Corral is Fred Carter, who does most of the "black tracts" and can draw... slightly better than Chick. He's supposedly black himself, which makes me wonder if he's one of those people the lunatic rights trots out whenever they need to prove how not racist they are, like Michelle Malkin.

Apart from that, I don't know anything about the man.

 

[Splendid]

Another member of the Chick Corral is Fred Carter, who does most of the "black tracts" and can draw... slightly better than Chick. He's supposedly black himself, which makes me wonder if he's one of those people the lunatic rights trots out whenever they need to prove how not racist they are, like Michelle Malkin.

Apart from that, I don't know anything about the man.

Fred Carter has actually been the artist on the majority of the tracts for years now.

 

[Mrs Paul]

I think there was one tract about how there was always a protestant church, but it had to go underground when the Romans took over and the evil Catholics came into power.

 

[Pinball Lizard]

I think there was one tract about how there was always a protestant church, but it had to go underground when the Romans took over and the evil Catholics came into power.

Another tidbit Chick gleaned from the totally trustworthy Mr. Rivera, I believe.

 

[Ca Ira]

I found out about these just a couple years ago on Hallowe'en night. I was just surfing the internet and I found a link to his site and spent the rest of the night reading about how evil tabletop RPGs and Christian rock music is. I'm honestly pretty mixed about what I think about the tracts themselves. On one hand, a lot of them are just basic Christian theology, which is good in my book. On the other, you get conspiracy theories and crazy ideas like these:
View attachment 25768 View attachment 25769

Also, the crazy KJV-only theology that he and many other fundamentalists subscribe to really grinds my gears.

Stop me if you've already heard this one, but there's a Chick Tract depicting the Catholic Church as literally having been co-founded by the devil.

Spoiler: The Death Cookie

There's also one featuring an uncredited cameo by Father Damien Karras from "The Exorcist."

Spoiler: No, really.

There are a series of comics where Chick traces the origins of Catholicism variously to Ancient Egyptian sun-worship and the cult of Venus. I'm no great admirer of the Vatican, god knows, but, as with everything, Chick's views are bizarre in substance and ludicrously awkward in presentation.

Another member of the Chick Corral is Fred Carter, who does most of the "black tracts" and can draw... slightly better than Chick. He's supposedly black himself, which makes me wonder if he's one of those people the lunatic rights trots out whenever they need to prove how not racist they are, like Michelle Malkin.

Apart from that, I don't know anything about the man.

I refuse to believe that any non-white human being was involved in the writing of those tracts, though.

 

[Linako 2.0]

The dude literally claims that all people of my religion will burn in hell, and he has a lot of people who listen to him. Sorry if I sound a little A-Loggy, but he really, really pisses me off.

People want all the mexicans to be deported or be wiped off, comparing us to cockroaches.
People want all white people to be eliminated in hopes of creating a diverse utopia.
Catholics are not an exception

 

[A-№1]

I've always been partial to this parody. Because Space Moose.

Yeah, Chick is absolutely small potatoes as far as crazy fundies go. Compared to Fred Phelps, who believed gays should be given the death penalty, Randall Terry, who openly called for the murder of abortion doctors and is rumored to have been accessory to at least one such murder, the Christian Identity movement, who believe that the different human races are different species... Chick ain't even a blip on the radar.

True, but unlike ol' Phred and Randy, Batshit Jack Chick has at least some sense of style. It's a pretty lulzy, messed up, "what the fuck did I just read?" kind of style, but at least he has it. The best Phred ever came up with are lame three word slogans on colored cardboard like "God Hates Phags", which quite frankly could have been cribbed off a junior high locker room wall. Meanwhile Chick's work has a sort of anti-indie comic vibe to it. Kind of like Air Pirates or The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers only wrong. So very very wrong…

This is why you can laugh off Jack Chick, while those other assholes just make sane, sensible people feel tired.

Part of me wonders if Chick died like a year ago and the people running his site are covering it up.

Would it make a difference?

I kind of wonder where the money comes from to fund these things? Paper ain't free. They must be funded through donations, but if so, then what the fuck America?

I refuse to believe that any non-white human being was involved in the writing of those tracts, though.

Unfortunately crazy has no race.

People want all the mexicans to be deported or be wiped off, comparing us to cockroaches. People want all white people to be eliminated in hopes of creating a diverse utopia. Catholics are not an exception

Nor creed.

Crazy is an equal opportunity misemployer.