Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Constellationzero]

That shit sounds like honey made by bees that came from Krypton or some shit.

Most of the meal descriptions sound like they came from a kid who had a paper assignment that's now three weeks overdue. He still hasn't attempted to work on it, and is now coming up with a salad of 5,000 dollar words to make it look like he really worked on it.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Tess for better or worse the Bible verse regarding "when I was a child I behaved like a child, but when I was a man I put away childish things" (paraphrase I know) was written for a reason.

Past 21 birthdays are just another day. They should be celebrated with family but tastefully. You are no longer entitled to the whole world stopping for you on your special day and you are for fucking sure not entitled to 3 cakes across different times.

Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

At this rate your oldest son will be a fully actualized adult before you.

This sounds just like Kailyn Wilcher.

 

[tasty humane burger]

The most whack thing about this meal plan is that you can literally make most of that food relatively inexpensively. Salads and vegan dinners without fake meat are really cheap especially if you buy veg locally and the other ingredients in bulk. I'm no great chef but when my money is low and I've not resorted to crappy freezer food I tend to prep leafy vegan recipes and veggie stews curries and basically easier versions of that woo food.

 

[Constellationzero]

Even more whack is the fact that all the ingredients to make these ready meals probably came from Sysco or Gordon food Service. So generic and "grocery store house brand" stuff with packaging that looks like Pinterest vomited all over it.

 

[bloomingcactus]

Ingredients: Cherries, Maple Syrup, Coconut Oil, Unsweetened Applesauce, Almond Flour, Lemon Juice, Golden Flaxmeal, Filtered Water, Potato Flour, Coconut Yogurt, Wildflower Honey, Arrowroot Powder, Poppy Seeds, Himalayan Sea Salt, Baking Powder, Macqui Berry Powder, Xantham Gum, Vanilla Extract, Baking Soda

YUM YUM!

Edit: Tess' lunch and dinner...

View attachment 1471153
WATERMELON-ROSE SALAD W/ STRAWBERRY CHEVRE
Monty's NYC x Sakara Strawberry "Chevre" + pepita pate spread on seed bread topped with watermelon radish

Ingredients: Watermelon, Mixed Greens, Avocado Oil, Filtered Water, Strawberries, Lime Juice, Montys NYC: Cultured Cashew Rose Wheel, Wildflower Honey, Pumpkin Seeds, Avocado, Watermelon Radish, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, GF Rolled Oats, Brown Rice Flour, Apple Cider Vinegar, Buckwheat Flour, Jalepeno Peppers, Sunflower Seeds, Himalayan Sea Salt, Cilantro, Nutritional Yeast, Shallots, Pea Tendrils, Chia Seeds, Flaxseed, Sliced Almonds, White Sesame Seeds, Arugula, Rosewater, Psyllium Husk Powder, Basil, Maple Syrup, Chlorophyll, Dry Active Yeast, Parsley, Cumin

View attachment 1471156
WILDCRAFTED SALAD W/ BIOACTIVE HONEY VINAIGRETTE
Topped with almond-crusted cannellini cakes, lavender almond "ricotta," and fresh peaches

Ingredients: Cannellini Beans, Mixed Greens, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Peaches, English Cucumbers, Lemon Juice, Pansy, Spinach, Cassava Flour, Slivered Almonds, Filtered Water, Almond Flour, Wildflower Honey, Garlic, Sliced Almonds, Tahini, Himalayan Sea Salt, White Chia Seeds, Bee Pollen, Marri Honey, Purple Sweet Potato Powder, Black Ground Pepper, Cumin, Lavender

Ohhhh no thank you. I'll be fasting tonight. I don't eat food that requires quotation marks.

If she's honestly eating like this and JUST this the weight should be pouring off. Doesn't seem to be the case.
But of course it'll end up just vanishing from her feed once the promotion (aka cash money) dries up.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Brittnay Matthews]

I’d be crying for how expensive those doughnuts are. For $420 a week, it’s $84 a day (considering that a week in this meal plan is five days). If there are three meals a day without snacks included, those doughnuts are worth $28 (84/3). You could buy a dozen doughnuts at a local doughnut shop for the price of those two doughnuts. I get that Tess might not be paying for this, but the finances of it make me cry a little.

Oh yeah, a year of this plan costs $21,840 (based on $420 weekly).

I don't recall Tess donating to BLM, at least not as much as the cost of that meal. she's just loud and obnoxious but she isn't about to sacrifice her precious donuts to help out a poor black family smh.

 

[NiggoPls]

Himalayan Sea Salt

Lol...the Himalayas are landlocked. The closest shores are in Bangladesh or West Bengal.

 

[multiverse]

View attachment 1472080View attachment 1472082View attachment 1472078View attachment 1472079

Another day, yet another bathtub that doesn't belong to Jolene. Girl is working hard.

 

[Water-T]

Another day, yet another bathtub that doesn't belong to Jolene. Girl is working hard.

Tess' johns prefer her to scrub the yeast out of her folds before they fuck them.

 

[lamp shade]

View attachment 1472078

I know we’ve seen this exact view 20 times, but jfc her legs look like they’re being viewed through a funhouse mirror.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

Interesting mixture of content: "Buy/Review my book", "Dead black people", "look at mah laygs", "care about Black people"... Also I can't repress the notion that Tess leg photo with her stiff stretched out legs looks like a crime scene photo. Maybe I watch too much True Crime, but with different contrasts and the market it would be fitting for the case of "the super morbidly obese hooker, that had to be hacked out of the bath tub."

 

[Local Fed]

I grabbed a screenshot of the video:
View attachment 1470625
It’s amazing how big she truly looks when standing next to other people (that are overweight as well). Also, that is one ugly dress that Tess is wearing.

Spoiler

While making this, at one point I misclicked and made her big stupid head my desktop background lmao

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[IBrokeBob]

Oh so Ms Messy Manatee is looking for book reviews. Well, nothing beats the review her brother posted. It has been posted here before, probably a few times. But it is always a great read and still rings true today, in fact even moreso. Some people may have missed this or may enjoy reading it again. I know I do because it is always spot on about her.

FROM THE BROTHER OF THE AUTHOR:
I am all for people finding happiness and peace in their life. There is too much hate and selfish behavior in the world around us; we shouldn't add to it. Peace, love and forgiveness should be much more prevalent in our civilization. I don't deny that, nor am I ignorant to that the world around us is hateful.

With that being said: almost nothing in this book is true. The events that did happen either happened to someone else, or didn't happen the way that she said it did. She told the life stories of other people that didn't want them told. The tragedies mentioned were stolen from others. Ryann Hoven is a narcissist and hateful human being with no regard for her family or loved ones. She has always been like that. Ask anyone that has known her. In High School she was the bully. Victims were left in her wake. Ask anyone, West Jones High School, Class of 2004.

The flow of this book is extremely erratic and never connects the points it is trying to make. It bounces all over the place like a messed up terminator time travel story line. The advice has nothing to do with the 'life-story' being told, and it's terrible advice. Ryann (Tess) depicts the south and the education provided in a completely inaccurate light. She created this fairy tale in her mind about this anti-science pedagogy and ran with it. Again, full of untruths.

Don't read this book. Save your money and time and do something more meaningful. Find peace and happiness elsewhere. ""

I would love if somebody posted that review under her lil post looking for gold stars for her book.

 

[Nectarine]

View attachment 1464879

Not to derail from the riveting conversation re: Tess' newest "diet," but I noticed something funny in her latest TikTok. She's reading from a fucking Jordan Peterson book, lmfao. Left is from the video, right is a photo of the book from Barnes & Noble. You can see it's clearly the same spine.

Not very #woke of you, Tess!

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Miss Misery]

Not to derail from the riveting conversation re: Tess' newest "diet," but I noticed something funny in her latest TikTok. She's reading from a fucking Jordan Peterson book, lmfao. Left is from the video, right is a photo of the book from Barnes & Noble. You can see it's clearly the same spine.
View attachment 1473201 View attachment 1473204
Not very #woke of you, Tess!

Good eye, especially since the cap from her video is reversed.

 

[Local Fed]

View attachment 1473253View attachment 1473254

I wonder if Tess even knows that CP24 is Canadian and that this is from Toronto... and the police chief is the first black person to hold that position lol. She's actually right with the second picture, though. Black guys, stop beating the shit out of black women so much.

 

[IBrokeBob]

Not to derail from the riveting conversation re: Tess' newest "diet," but I noticed something funny in her latest TikTok. She's reading from a fucking Jordan Peterson book, lmfao. Left is from the video, right is a photo of the book from Barnes & Noble. You can see it's clearly the same spine.
View attachment 1473201 View attachment 1473204
Not very #woke of you, Tess!

Oh I am sure she is looking at it to find ways to be offended. That's all. Or maybe it is just a prop to make us think she is a deep thinking, intellectual kinda modull.