Louis "Lou" Gagliardi / Ash Franzetti / Alex 'Ace' Maddox / Tegan Ainsley / Taryn Amita / Diana / gothickitteh / ashkat724 / Lynn Brooks / @acekatt - #T R A M S _ C R O W _ F U N D *buys 12 iPads* "Anyone got $600 they can spare?" *spits on cancer patient*

[Wooden Spoon]

Thinking about it, I really don't think you're wrong. Kinda odd for a "furry" to be a furry without having a suit. Not shockingly, he has no photos of him in a suit or ever claiming to have one. I think he just likes beating off to cartoon animals. Which leads into him faking trans too, as all "his fursona" art are women centric; it's just his masturbation material. That's why he needs new material every week. He doesn't go to furry cons to be part of the community, he like going to them because they're like a strip club for him and he jerks off in the corner watching everyone. All part of the grift.

Furry suits are fucking expensive. You expect him to go onna diet and save precious FOOD money to go towards a costume he would just throw away a few weeks later? Lou isn't that stupid.


Yet.

 

[Sgt. Pinback]

...Then he can have Ace the tiger and Diana the cougar and Artemis the lion and whothefuckever else, and he can LARP as one this week and another one next week...

Well, that's exactly what he's been doing for ages just without that extra spark of creativity as you say, and that he mopes about doing it. He should just embrace it, as you suggested.

Go full retard, Lou! Do it.

Again, Lou - 'professional editor and writer', my hairy ass.

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

Furry suits are fucking expensive. You expect him to go onna diet and save precious FOOD money to go towards a costume he would just throw away a few weeks later? Lou isn't that stupid.


Yet.

Even if he didn't change his fursona constantly the fursuit would no longer fit by the time of the next convention.

 

[Chicken Picnic]

Lou is sexually degenerate enough to be a furry, i buy it.

Are we forgetting the animal pregnancy transformation fiction he wrote just the other day? He's just the type of furry that does it primarily because he gets off to it, nothing uncommon there.

 

[The Dude]

Well, that's exactly what he's been doing for ages just without that extra spark of creativity as you say, and that he mopes about doing it. He should just embrace it, as you say.

Go full retard, Lou! Do it.

Again, Lou - 'professional editor and writer', my hairy ass.

The only thing close to "professional" that applies to Louie is professional victim.

 

[ThrowawayFurry]

Thinking about it, I really don't think you're wrong. Kinda odd for a "furry" to be a furry without having a suit. Not shockingly, he has no photos of him in a suit or ever claiming to have one. I think he just likes beating off to cartoon animals. Which leads into him faking trans too, as all "his fursona" art are women centric; it's just his masturbation material. That's why he needs new material every week. He doesn't go to furry cons to be part of the community, he like going to them because they're like a strip club for him and he jerks off in the corner watching everyone. All part of the grift.

That's probably how they're seen in popular media but most furries don't have one. Shit's $2k for a cheap one. I make decent money and I still am not about to buy one for a few years, especially at this point. They're a glorified toy. Although I would believe that Lou would put money towards that before even considering buying a cheap reliable car. We know that can't happen though. Lou can't hold on to a dollar to save his life.

Something I forgot to point out a few pages ago: Every time Lou takes a picture of his Paypal to grift, it's sitting at exactly $0.00. Compare this to Tygerwulfe where each of his grifts has an up to date picture of his Paypal which is sitting somewhere under $10 but isn't exactly zero dollars. This points to Lou transferring his money out of his account to somewhere else, otherwise he has really good planning skills to spend the EXACT amount of money he gets every time.

 

[Damien Thorne]

That's probably how they're seen in popular media but most furries don't have one. Shit's $2k for a cheap one. I make decent money and I still am not about to buy one for a few years, especially at this point. They're a glorified toy. Although I would believe that Lou would put money towards that before even considering buying a cheap reliable car. We know that can't happen though. Lou can't hold on to a dollar to save his life.

Something I forgot to point out a few pages ago: Every time Lou takes a picture of his Paypal to grift, it's sitting at exactly $0.00. Compare this to Tygerwulfe where each of his grifts has an up to date picture of his Paypal which is sitting somewhere under $10 but isn't exactly zero dollars. This points to Lou transferring his money out of his account to somewhere else, otherwise he has really good planning skills to spend the EXACT amount of money he gets every time.

If PayPal could be overdrafted, he would always be in the red to get those extra pity points by showing how moronic he can be with his money. It shouldn’t make any sense. But nothing about Lou makes any sense, so that is consistent at least.

 

[Turael]

RESTART THE TIMER! I guess Lou realized that nobody wants to give money to a blatant bigot.

 

[ArtisanOnion]

View attachment 1478720

RESTART THE TIMER! I guess Lou realized that nobody wants to give money to a blatant bigot.

I wasn’t able to archive it, but apparently getting into arguments about AOC wanting to cut fed funding to military recruitment in schools, and arguments about both football and hockey contributed to this meltdown.

Apparently they were also contemplating going with a lioness fursona called Lynn, but felt like that part of their soul was ripped away lmfao.

 

[capsaicin]

Having read other cow threads, the answer is obvious: declare he's a plural system where each identity has its own fursona. Ten times the identities = ten times the grift.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Having read other cow threads, the answer is obvious: declare he's a plural system where each identity has its own fursona. Ten times the identities = ten times the grift.

He doesn't have the mental capacity to do that.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Thinking about it, I really don't think you're wrong. Kinda odd for a "furry" to be a furry without having a suit. Not shockingly, he has no photos of him in a suit or ever claiming to have one.

Even if he didn't change his fursona constantly the fursuit would no longer fit by the time of the next convention.

I don't know anything about fursuit manufacturing, so maybe someone familiar with it can help me out: do they even make 8XL ones that would fit this absolute unit of a lardy lad?

 

[Wooden Spoon]

I don't know anything about fursuit manufacturing, so maybe someone familiar with it can help me out: do they even make 8XL ones that would fit this absolute unit of a lardy lad?

If he pays the money, it will be custom fit just for him. A good suit is tailored to every user, and it also just depends on the fur color/fur pattern/fursona. It's gonna be like a few grand extra if Lou has an insanely complicated fursona. That being said, If I were a legit suit maker whowas popular in the fandom, I wouldn't dare work for him. A fur suit just doesn't take a few hours. Weeks. Maybe, even months. Especially if you know what you are doing and you are using great fur, LED light eyes, etc.

That being said, every year around halloween Walmart has these giant animal heads that they put out. All he has to do is grab the tiger head variety, head on over to the children costume section and grab a WW wig and Tiara and with a little bit of hot glue and placement...instant fursona mask. I'm sure he already has the smell down, since Tiger spray legit smells like a putrid skunk. As far as his body goes...I dunno. Maybe some body paint will do. That way Lou can work on his coloring too. Some tiger bedroom slippers and he has a complete look!

 

[Pinball 2000]

I don't know anything about fursuit manufacturing, so maybe someone familiar with it can help me out: do they even make 8XL ones that would fit this absolute unit of a lardy lad?

I'm gonna powerlevel a bit and admit I have some familiarity with fursuiting and we'll leave it at that. If Lou wanted to have a fursuit made, it's technically feasible but very unlikely for multiple reasons:

-Price: Every suit is custom-made, and even the cheapest makers are still going to run a minimum of $1500-2000 for a very basic "partial" suit (which is usually just the head, arms/hands, and a tail). The head is usually the most expensive part of most suits. Most fursuit makers generally ask you to pay for most of the suit upfront, though some makers will agree to payment plans. Lou would have to grift a lot of fucking money right off the back to pay for it, followed by Lou grifting more money to cover his monthly payments. Plus, there's no way in hell Lou's grifting would be as effective if people knew he had the money to afford a fucking fursuit.

-Time: fursuits are usually made by hand, and the majority of makers are hobbyists who aren't trained professionals and do these in their free time, thus some makers have a tendency to build up huge backlogs. Most suits will take a few weeks (but more realistically a few months at the bare minimum). Considering Lou lacks any sort of patience and bitches at Grubhub because his McDonalds was a whopping 5 minutes late, I feel like his head would explode if he found out his suit got delayed in any capacity.

-Dimensions: Lou's fucking fat, so it goes without saying that his suit would have to be specially-measured to fit him. Head measurements generally don't vary too wildly from person to person; what some makers do is intentionally make the head too small, have the person try on the head, then trim and file down the inside as needed until it's a good fit. But that would require Lou having to get off his ass and travel. Or even worse, imagine the poor soul who would have to visit Lou to get his fitting done.
Hell, if Lou had the money, he could even have a bodysuit made (provided he's willing to pay extra to have it fit his XXXXL ass). Most suit makers get your measurements by having you make a "duct-tape dummy", where you buy and wear a coverall suit, then have a friend or two cover every inch of you with duct tape, then ship it to the fursuit maker so they can make sure the suit will fit your body properly. I've seen some pretty fat fursuiters wearing full suits, so surprisingly it's actually possible to be done. Lou would have to convince someone (that's not his mom) help cover him in duct tape though.

-Heat: Fursuits are really fucking hot (temperature-wise), most heads are made out of foam wrapped in fur and don't have good ventilation, and for the inexperienced, even wearing just a fursuit head in the middle of winter can be pretty rough after a few minutes. This is why most furry conventions have water coolers set up every 30 feet, because they don't want to have to deal with dumbasses who can't remember to drink water and roast to death. Anyways, considering Lou frequently complains it's too hot to make food and then orders more hot food for himself, I can't imagine him taking the proper precautions to stay cool (or at the very least, hydrate himself with anything other than soda).

-Maintenance: most fursuiters ideally clean their suit after every big convention and/or orgy, and most suits require specialized cleaning to remove sweat/cum stains. Since you can't throw the suit in a washing machine, this usually requires very delicate hand-cleaning. To give a reference point, a suiter I'm familiar with usually spends about 2 hours hand-cleaning their suit with a carpet shampooer designed for pet stains. It's very time-consuming, but their suit is impressively clean and bright in spite of its age. There's no fucking way I'd see Lou taking the necessary time to clean his. Best case, his suit would constantly smell like pizza grease. Worst case, it'd look like Growly's nasty-ass fursuit in only a few months.

-Hygiene: if you've read the thread on Gabriel Sickel/KhordKitty, he would regularly get tons of complaints about his odor. He'd spend a good chunk of conventions worrying about how to not smell when the answer was because he didn't shower. No matter how clean your suit is, your own personal body odor doesn't vanish without cleaning yourself. Anyways, Lou is fat, most likely perpetually hot and sweaty. I'll let you form your own conclusions on how he'd probably smell.

In summary, Lou is very fat and I would not have sex with him. And if he hypothetically spent the money on a fursuit, I'm 99% sure it would become a biohazard in less than a week.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

<snip>

Thank you kindly for the detailed answer. All this really proves is Lou'd be the worst kind of furry both to order and to wear a fursuit. While he could be forced to pay by demanding the whole sum upfront, there's no way he wouldn't turn into a Customer from Hell, demanding extras and immediate changes without notifying the craftsperson first.

And I suspect the fursuit business is the same as any other in the "news of an asshat get around fast" regard.

 

[Lurk]

Maybe Lou could save money and make the carpet sample fursuit?

Spoiler: it is just as ugly as he is on the inside

 

[Pinball 2000]

I suspect the fursuit business is the same as any other in the "news of an asshat get around fast" regard.

Reputation is especially important to fursuit makers (at least by furry standards) because if the person who wears one of their suits is a shitty person, it can spill over to the maker's reputation due to association. This is precisely why Growly continues to wear his old, nasty suit instead of getting a new one; no fursuit maker wants to deal with the backlash with accepting commissions from a sex offender. Growly constantly advertising his suit maker doesn't help either (for the record, they've since tried their best to dissociate from him).

Anyways, by the same logic, there's absolutely no way any fursuit maker would want to be associated with someone so universally disliked like Lou, the reputation hit would not be worth it, even if Lou offered triple the fursuit maker's prices.

Maybe Lou could save money and make the carpet sample fursuit?

Spoiler: it is just as ugly as he is on the inside

View attachment 1479326

Not to get too off-topic, but there's some legitimately horrifying trivia about that suit (and I want to stress that I am not making any of this up):
-Those aren't carpet samples. The guy who wears this suit made it by stitching together the jizz-encrusted remains of stuffed animals he fucked (without cleaning the cum off)
-He apparently smelled like death and could be smelled from as far as 50 feet away (and didn't shower which only made it worse)
-The suit has a "fake vagina" in it so he can pee without taking it off. No idea how that works
-He would stop random people at conventions and go into very graphic detail about how he stole a neighbor's dog and fucked it.
-He's been banned from nearly every convention for a combination of his horrifying suit, poor hygiene, and the aforementioned unprovoked dogfucking stories.

 

[Lurk]

Not to get too off-topic, but there's some legitimately horrifying trivia about that suit (and I want to stress that I am not making any of this up):
-Those aren't carpet samples. The guy who wears this suit made it by stitching together the jizz-encrusted remains of stuffed animals he fucked (without cleaning the cum off)
-He apparently smelled like death and could be smelled from as far as 50 feet away (and didn't shower which only made it worse)
-The suit has a "fake vagina" in it so he can pee without taking it off. No idea how that works
-He would stop random people at conventions and go into very graphic detail about how he stole a neighbor's dog and fucked it.
-He's been banned from nearly every convention for a combination of his horrifying suit, poor hygiene, and the aforementioned unprovoked dogfucking stories.

Ho-lee-fuck. Why doesn't this guy have a thread?! Is there anywhere I can read more about him? He sounds grotesque, so I must know more.

 

[Chicken Picnic]

Ho-lee-fuck. Why doesn't this guy have a thread?! Is there anywhere I can read more about him? He sounds grotesque, so I must know more.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

I think you guys are all vastly overestimating the amount of effort Lou puts into anything, even if someone else would be making it. I have a simpler solution that I think is a bit more his speed.


(XXXXXL, of course)
+

+


And then if anyone asks he can pretend he's just one of those inflation fetishist blow-up suits.


Also, on a side note, our boy is in dfe mode again. 309 tweets when he locked last night down to 28 atm.