I started going to conventions as a kid to hang out with friends before Tumblr was a name anyone knew, let alone gender stuff. An older friend introduced me to a friend of hers, Aiden. This wasn't his name, but it was a similar kind of name. You know. I was barely a teenager and naive, so I didn't question it any further. Aiden was short, skinny, and wore large platform boots to compensate. Since we were all so young, I figured he was simply a manlet who hadn't hit a growth spurt yet.
Fast forward about two years, the friend who introduced us said she's dating Aiden. That's nice, I thought. I had only ever seen Aiden for a short time but I thought he was quite cute and fun to be around.
One of our teachers was openly judgemental about them to my face. She said it was wrong for my friend to be gay and she had higher hopes for her than that. Barring the fact I disagreed, I was incredibly confused what the hell she meant by that, so I didn't say anything and went to ask my friend instead. 'That's ridiculous,' she told me. 'I've helped him out of his cosplays and had sex with him, he has a penis.' That was what I thought.
A few more years later. My friend and Aiden eventually broke up, and she had found another long term partner awhile later. I brought it up to my mom and she asked 'wait, wasn't friend gay?'. I told her no, she dated Aiden for a long time. My mother said she was pretty sure Aiden had been a girl. I didn't trust my old teacher's judgement, but my mom is different, and it had been so long since I had seen Aiden I had started to put some of the pieces together. I figured what was going on, but I'd ask friend to be sure.
We were still in contact. I texted, 'Hey, remember Aiden?'. 'Sure, what about him?' 'He was a cis dude, wasn't he?'
And here's the crux of this story. I expected either 'No, he was ftm, actually.' or 'Yes, he was a cis man.' Even if that was an actual lie, it would have satsified me. But what was her answer?
'It's very rude to ask someone what their birth sex is for any reason, that's none of your business.'
I was under the clear impression this person was a passing cis dude (albeit due to a fuzzy, naive, years old memory), and her answer was to pretty much out Aiden instantly which I'm under the impression is supposed to be a big taboo. I dropped the subject and apologized because it wasn't worth it and I had an answer.
Though, I would have figured out the truth eventually. I saw Aiden about a year ago at another convention, my first time seeing him since that encounter as kids. He was the exact same height, but now obese, hairy, and pimply. I felt pretty bad.
to "lol I think I did a good job" to "LMAO get fucked," which, even though they're troons, they're still a surgical patient and should never get that type of treatment.
