Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[JoyQ]

Her hairline is looking worse than ever and she’s still wearing those high, tight pony tails. Shouldn’t a “model” know how to take care of her hair?

 

[Dorsia.Reservation]

Her hairline is looking worse than ever and she’s still wearing those high, tight pony tails. Shouldn’t a “model” know how to take care of her hair?

She is well on her way to a serious case of traction alopecia like that JoJo hair bows kid.
Except Jojo has millions of dollars to fall back on.
While two ton tessy has type 2 diabetes feet and her former nannys pullout couch.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Shut the fuck up Ryann. Maybe start actually parenting your kids and taking care of them and stop with this fake woke bullshit.

 

[Local Fed]

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Spoiler: Infographic

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Couple of things:

1. Who were they kidnapped by?
2. When are you not talking about reparations in America?

 

[cactus]

She commented the leggings she's advertising run small, I think she's growing into a 5X.

The reparations info graph is wrong: America wasn't a country before 1776, we were a colony of Britain. So those slaves around 1619-1775? They belong to British citizens.

 

[CobraPlissken]

Death fats & "sports" clothing - I don't get it. Many of them are happy to post selfies of themselves wearing fashionable sports gear & are constantly getting new stuff & making it sound as if women are constantly buying new fitness kit. Most people I know who work out, 'downcycle' older & faded clothing that's till comfy to wear when they're running or working out. Those who tend to buy nicer stuff? After it's been worn, sweated in & washed a few times, it LOOKS as though the wearer works our when obviously, the death fats don't.

Deathfats like sportswear because it's stretchy enough for them to squeeze their way into it, but it's also firm enough to provide a sturdy sausage casing for their flabby flesh.

 

[Angry New Ager]

Death fats & "sports" clothing - I don't get it.

One word: Spandex. Athletic and "athleisure" wear are made of stretchy fabrics that accommodate fatties' bulk. They don't have unforgiving structured waistbands or fasteners, so as long as a deathfat can keep squeezing herself into a pair of leggings, they "fit."

It's really all about comfort, first and foremost. Some do make a pretense at being "good fatties" who exercise and work out, but really ot's just because those clothes are the easiest to get on and wear, and are very forgiving of continued weight gain.

Most people I know who work out, 'downcycle' older & faded clothing that's till comfy to wear when they're running or working out. Those who tend to buy nicer stuff? After it's been worn, sweated in & washed a few times, it LOOKS as though the wearer works our when obviously, the death fats don't.

Deathfats' clothing has a very short lifespan, due to the stresses put upon it. Strained seams, and fabric pulled taut and often abraded (especially in the crotch area and under arms)--even if fatgirl clothes were made of quality fabrics to start with, they'd still be destroyed in no time.

So thin people get to have comfortably broken-in old clothes--the ones that have survived so many wearings and washings they're soft and faded, but still wearable. Deathfats wear a given clothing item until it suddenly self-destructs from the strain of being on their body, which doesn't take long.

Her hairline is looking worse than ever and she’s still wearing those high, tight pony tails. Shouldn’t a “model” know how to take care of her hair?

The high, tight ponytail is the only actual hairstyle (other than a messy bun) she can manage to do unassisted, given the weight of her massive arms. Anything that requires her to set her hair in rollers, use a curling iron, and take time to style it is literally too much effort for her; she'd be an exhausted, sweaty mess by the time she was done.

She commented the leggings she's advertising run small, I think she's growing into a 5X.

One of the core traits of a lolcow is that they keep making the same stupid mistakes over and over, and never learn from them. Tess got on Eloquii's shitlist by claiming their clothes ran small, and thus lost the most important client she could hope to get. And now she's doing the exact same shit with Flabletics--claiming their 3X runs small, when in truth Tess runs large and needs at least a 5X (which Flabletics doesn't even offer). Even if she started asking them to send 4X, their largest size, they would be too small, but less disastrously, comically too small than the 3X she keeps squeezing herself into.

 

[multiverse]

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All I noticed from her pictures is the horrific splayed toes, and Dolly looks like she's sneering at Tess.

What I noticed is that she's standing with her legs splayed into a sloppy second position, because she's too fat to both cross her legs, or even lift one behind and pretend to cross her legs. The legs crossed pose was her favorite way back when she was an actual size 22. She's lost a fuckton of basic mobility in the past ten years.

Here's a bunch of very old photos of her showing how she was once able to cross her legs, and the various contortions she's used to mimic leg crossing as the years have gone on.


She's now only able to mimic this shape by standing in a long, awkward stride. This heavily shooped photo from April demonstrates this well: if she was the size she shrunk herself down to in post, she would be able to cross her ankles at least. She's standing like this because her kegs are too gigantic to pose like she used to.

 

[Nectarine]

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lol, she reposted this "HAVE THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED" image and idk, it just seems rich coming from a "celebrity" who literally foams at the mouth and has to come up with a witty, grade-school comeback any time some random person leaves a remotely negative comment on one of her pictures.

 

[JoyQ]

What I noticed is that she's standing with her legs splayed into a sloppy second position, because she's too fat to both cross her legs, or even lift one behind and pretend to cross her legs. The legs crossed pose was her favorite way back when she was an actual size 22. She's lost a fuckton of basic mobility in the past ten years.

Here's a bunch of very old photos of her showing how she was once able to cross her legs, and the various contortions she's used to mimic leg crossing as the years have gone on.
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She's now only able to mimic this shape by standing in a long, awkward stride. This heavily shooped photo from April demonstrates this well: if she was the size she shrunk herself down to in post, she would be able to cross her ankles at least. She's standing like this because her kegs are too gigantic to pose like she used to.
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The blue socks, boots and tights really force her leg shape into perspective and show how massive they are. I think that’s the most unflattering photo of her knees-down I have seen.

 

[bloomingcactus]

This outfit is just unfortunate. I wonder if this was one of her occasions that she showed up larger than the clothes that were set out for her. Those tights are stretched to the max, they're turning white in the black details.

Spoiler: Reparations

Reparations are crap idea. What are you going to do? DNA test every black person to check if they are descended from slaves? Check every white person to see if their ancestors were there then? What if they didn't own slaves?

Also why should I pay? A: I'm so broke with my white privilege B: my family came over from another country after slavery was abolished. I don't owe anyone money except for the bills I can't pay with my white privilege.

 

[Local Fed]

America is fucked up, but if we are talking reparations for slavery, some countries in Europe and Asia are going to have to pay up...

Good luck with the "and Asia" part. None of these people care about anyone engaging in slavery if they're not white. And no one but white people, generally speaking, is stupid enough to burden themselves with guilt over it. If tomorrow Somalia announced that they were enslaving a million people and Denmark announced that they were enslaving five hundred people the whole world's response would be to demand that we stop these maniacal Danes.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[multiverse]

The blue socks, boots and tights really force her leg shape into perspective and show how massive they are. I think that’s the most unflattering photo of her knees-down I have seen.

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This outfit is just unfortunate. I wonder if this was one of her occasions that she showed up larger than the clothes that were set out for her. Those tights are stretched to the max, they're turning white in the black details.

Spoiler: Reparations

Reparations are crap idea. What are you going to do? DNA test every black person to check if they are descended from slaves? Check every white person to see if their ancestors were there then? What if they didn't own slaves?

Also why should I pay? A: I'm so broke with my white privilege B: my family came over from another country after slavery was abolished. I don't owe anyone money except for the bills I can't pay with my white privilege.

And this photo was taken seven years ago - she's cultivated at least an additional 200 pounds of mass since that time.

 

[Constellationzero]

Yeah about "reparations"...
Did you know that there are countries in Africa that "abolished" slavery only roughly ten years ago?? And the scare quotes are there because just cos it became codified in law doesn't mean anyone pays attention to it. And there are STILL countries like Mauritania that practice force feeding little girls to the point of sickness and risk of death just to make them look like an eat beast like Tess so they can be married off.

Can you say oppression?? Nah, you're too busy getting ANOTHER butt ugly tattoo to eye-rape the public with while Jolene wonders how she's going to pay for groceries to feed Bowie.

People can make bad choices. But if you're Ryann Hoven, you're still unworthy of love.
It's a choice to become a disgusting tattooed slam pig who refuses to parent. Sometimes good people make mistakes and become slam pigs, but they realize the horror of their bad decisions and turn that around.
Being a tattooed slam pig isn't good for our communities, RYANN.
It teaches nice young ladies to ruin their bodies and reputations for a few internet asspatz.
When RYANN HOVEN became a tattooed slam pig, her choice to shame the HOVEN family name hurts others in her family.

Oink Oink, REEEEEEE!

 

[JambledUpWords]

Comments:

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

"Policing is inherently rooted in white supremacy"

This just in, no nonwhite countries have a police force and literally all American cops are white.

 

[SnarkySperg]

I didn't see this posted. I found this because Yahoo did their typical "just blatantly steal an article from another partnered website" thing and went to the source.

http://archive.md/NphPZ

I got a Google Alert for this article for some reason, so I guess this bitch is following me now.

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Spoiler: Infographic

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K Tess, you gonna give up your money to pay black people? Oh wait, you don't have any. Of course you'd post this, it doesn't apply to you.

Also, sources please. Because I find it hard to believe that white people are making 14x more and nobody cares, unless there's more to it. I'm not the type to be all 'ciTe yoUr sOurCeS!' but I am skeptical at best of this.

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Uhh, if the way she speaks about black people online (including her son's black friends) is any indicator of how she talks to Bowie about them, he's probably going to be one of the kids seen as 'racist' because he probably acts really fucking weird around them.

I don't think it can be emphasized enough that Tess is either a fucking poser online who is maintaining an image that is total bullshit, or she acts really fucking odd around black people. Those are the only options. Either she treats them like normal people (thus her online posts are misleading) or she's acting how she does online and bowing at their feet and treating them with borderline reverence just for being black (which, IDK about you all, but I'd be very uncomfortable with if I were black).

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Why do woke white bitches think that speaking over black people makes them look BETTER than the 'racists' they reee against?

 

[America's Giggling Gigolo]

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LOL, the dull cow brain of Two-Ton Tugboat Tess is on full display in this comment. "98 percent of black men in prison never had a trial" What kind of absolute deluded moron believes something like this? Tess Holliday, that's who. Like was said earlier, she has not one independent thought in her head. And yes, Tess, you do have the time today to regurgitate someone else's BS woke lies to strangers. You have the time every other day as well. You're unemployed. No job, no money, no love, no HOPE! Also, whenever I see that gigantic gunt, I imagine a giant fanged maw opening up in it, like a Great unclean disciple of Nurgle which is what she truly is. Completely given over to her own pleasure, just a leech on everything and everyone.