Artcow Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls / Mallorie Jessica Udischas-Trojan / Jesse William Trojan / Jessica Udischas / SweetBeans99 - Total Bitch Who Supports Shoplifting and Looting; Creator of New Guy, the First Meme of the 2020's

[Haramburger]

Yelling "do a kickflip!" at skaters from your car is just a goofy thing people do, there's a video of Tony Hawk doing it and it just kind of became a silly thing. It's not supposed to be an insult or anything, just playful, but I can see an insecure troon taking it as a dig. Some people have no sense of humor about anything.

I haven't heard this particular Tony Hawk story, but I know he is a weird celebrity in that despite being the most famous skateboarder ever, he is constantly misidentified or told he's lying about his identity, so he's permanently stuck in stealth mode by accident.

“Skateboarding is easy, you just need to do the math!” lol no skateboarder has ever done calculations, Jess, at least not consciously. It’s entirely a matter of attempting the trick hundreds of times until you get it right, then trying to repeat that exact motion hundreds of times more until it just becomes muscle memory.

I actually get this reference, it's regarding a recent squirrel/Ninja Warrior course some guy made in his backyard that was popular on social media:

at 16:10 in the video, the guy discusses a squirrel's natural reactions to being launched by surprise from a catapult and explains how the squirrel rotates his body and does "predictive math" & Coservation of Angular Momentum in his tiny squirrel brain to position his arms and the rest of his body to land feet first despite a safety net.

Also, laughing at the "CHUD bird" just being a red Mordecai from Regular Show with a unibrow.

 

[Smug Cat]

"Hold on this car is pulling up."
Pulling up to what? You're in a grassy void. Why would you stop what you're doing and assume that some stranger stopping by a park has anything to do with you?
And why is he upset, He asked for a trick and they did it?
And why did they do it if everyone is just being angry and insulting to each other for no reason?

I know it sounds like nitpicking but it's just the whole scenario doesn't make any sense.
Even if this was a badly written 90's underdog sports movie it would have at least been other skaters at the park who want the new kids to prove themselves before they can skate on their terf.

Isn't Jess an adult?
Kids and teens can be mean for no reason because they're in more controlled environments that force them to interact daily with a diverse cast of likewise socially developing and immature peers. At least in a job or university you're generally united by goals and interests, and have the option to transfer or start anew should people prove intolerable. As a kid you're stuck and people lash out, I get that.

Adults don't do this. If a guy slows down and yells something at a group of women it's usually a catcall unless they're highly mentally unstable in which case, you know, they could be yelling anything but probably wouldn't be capable of driving a car.

TLDR; this is just a furry r/thathappened and it completely stupid and pointless.

I thiiiiiiiink they're meant to have kickflipped into the side of the car, thus scratching the paint? That's what my brain pulled out to try and make sense of wtf was happening here, anyway.

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No, Mallorie. This is not a thing that happens to normal people. Also, what? How does really liking someone translate into "me too guys!" What is he saying "me too" to? Is he inviting himself to some event they're talking about or something?

 

[Yamma Damma]

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What gathering is she seeing these "people you really like" at? We're still in lockdown and she's got corona fears so she wouldn't be talking to them anyway. And based on her story, neither do they.

No, Mallorie. This is not a thing that happens to normal people. Also, what? How does really liking someone translate into "me too guys!" What is he saying "me too" to? Is he inviting himself to some event they're talking about or something?

It's what wannabes say when they thirst after popularity or someone out of their league, they forget who they are and look like retards. (between this and the skateboard comics, is Jesse having a midlife crisis?)

Oooooohh, it's that bully from a rival high school whose dad is a wealthy property developer! We HAVE to land this kickflip to save our skate park! Do we have time for a training montage??

How long until The PresidentTM's jetplane lands and gets here to present a trophy and a kiss from his hot single daughter? You got that long.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

(between this and the skateboard comics, is Jesse having a midlife crisis?)

Yup. The newer the generation, the sooner the midlife crisis happens. It's kind of what happens when you turn "adulting" into such a big deal, the more of it they do the more they start screaming the old Toys'R'Us theme song. It manifests with an obsession with stuff that teens or twenty-somethings stereotypically do, and yet also carries a palpable longing for intermingling it with things like seeking the meaningful longterm relationship that doesn't exist in their lives. It's this weird, emotionally immature/needy version of a balding guy in a convertible.

 

[cowisnow]

Yup. The newer the generation, the sooner the midlife crisis happens. It's kind of what happens when you turn "adulting" into such a big deal, the more of it they do the more they start screaming the old Toys'R'Us theme song.

Thank you for earworming me. Now I can't get that stupid jingle out of my head.

This infantilization of adults has been a thing since the boomers. You see it reflected in the food, the clothes, the manner of speaking, the attitudes, the entire culture. You have 30-60 year old ADULTS still carrying on like it was high-school.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Thank you for earworming me. Now I can't get that stupid jingle out of my head.

This infantilization of adults has been a thing since the boomers. You see it reflected in the food, the clothes, the manner of speaking, the attitudes, the entire culture. You have 30-60 year old ADULTS still carrying on like it was high-school.

It manifests in different ways though. For a lot of (actual) Boomers, midlife crisis manifests not necessarily as actual childlike behavior, but an attempt to get back to what about their childhood made them feel special (or what they wish made them feel special). For some men this results in the adoption of hypermasculine traits, the fast car, the macho clothes, trying to date hot young women to show off their virility, for Boomer women it often manifests as a desire to take control, be in charge, become a Strong And Confident Independent Woman (which is why for a lot of them their mid-life crisis involved going back to college or something). Gen X has a fair bit of all this stuff (often with motorcycles instead of sports cars and activism instead of college) and throw in a heaping helping of eighties nostalgia.

Millennials and Gen Z however seem to be hitting a more explicit "reversion to childhood/youth" thing where they basically fantasize that they're still 14-24 outright. They're not trying to act like they've got a youthful drive to go with their adult bodies, they just actually want to be their ideal younger self. They don't even dress "youthful" like when the balding boomer hauls on a leather jacket, they just straight-up dress like kids from the nineties. There's a sort of avoidance of the adult facets of life baked into it in that they explicitly avoid things like cars and motorcycles and dating and instead long for skateboards and pogs and two not-date dates that lead to a forever romance.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

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Congratulations, Jess, you dodge points like Neo dodges bullets.

 

[NoReturn]

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Congratulations, Jess, you dodge points like Neo dodges bullets.

Also, wrong about the "more like real life" thing. Turns out good childhoods make successful adults. Who knew!?

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Also, wrong about the "more like real life" thing. Turns out good childhoods make successful adults. Who knew!?

And bitter, envious people are pretty much never the good guys. They tend to be... well, bad guys that think they're good guys. Just like the villains Jess is identifying with. Which, y'know, again, is the whole point. She's the villain but just thinks she's being unfairly maligned, exactly like all the YA novel antagonists she's stanning.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

There are plento of heros and anti heros with crappy childhoods, it's no way unusual consept. Batman saw his parents get shot, Cinderella was abused by her stepmother and stepsisters and Naruto was rejected by majority of his village just name a few. It's so common that Mary Sues more often than not have angsty back stories of horrible childhoods.

 

[0 0]

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Evangelion is sort of the poster child of that very concept. I'm not sitting here eating pocky and ramen atop my throne of body pillows, that's just the first example that stuck out to me. This sort of complexity in writing can be found in countless movies, television shows, and video games. The incredibly basic storytelling Jesse is complaining about is the character depth you'll find in animation meant for kids, which I'm nearly certain is the primary media he consumes, and even then there's multiple exceptions which Jesse probably ignores because it doesn't use rounded designs and muted pastel color pallets.

I'm not big on movies and shows, but I at least have media literacy. Jesse is nearly 40 and can't even understand the subtext and themes within his own works. So it's baffling why he believes he has any capability to criticize media because he thinks that if he doesn't see or understand something, then it just doesn't exist.

 

[Iron Hamster]

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lol. Still trying to figure out a way to make New Guy the bad guy.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

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Most people can empathize with a villain without feeling like the movie is attacking them lol

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

There are plento of heros and anti heros with crappy childhoods, it's no way unusual consept. Batman saw his parents get shot, Cinderella was abused by her stepmother and stepsisters and Naruto was rejected by majority of his village just name a few. It's so common that Mary Sues more often than not have angsty back stories of horrible childhoods.

"Bitter" certainly fits Batman, but "envious"? That's definitely not a defining trait of his. I think that's the kicker here, Jess is demanding heroes that are greedy shits who want to destroy everyone that has more than they do, because that fits with the worldview Jess holds as well. "Eat the rich"... not because the rich are actually evil, but because the rich dared to have more.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

Adults should only discuss skateboarding in an unironic way if they're trying to patronize children.

 

[Wonathan Joss]

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Hang on, the shoplifting harpy that takes joy out of innocent people getting robbed sympathises with villains? That's funny.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

I’m not sure what show she’s talking about but I think she’s talking about the Umbrella Academy. That’s the only show I can think of. But Vanya was smart and talented, so I’m not sure how Jess can relate.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

I’m not sure what show she’s talking about but I think she’s talking about the Umbrella Academy. That’s the only show I can think of. But Vanya was smart and talented, so I’m not sure how Jess can relate.

Vanya's bitterness and envy also 1) destroyed what little positive relationship she had with her family and 2) almost destroyed the world, because she couldn't get the fuck over not being special enough or having an asshole dad. I suppose in Jess's ideal version, she would have slaughtered her siblings in vengeance for daring to show her up and been crowned Queen Vanya of Earth.

 

[CWCissey]

Vanya's bitterness and envy also 1) destroyed what little positive relationship she had with her family and 2) almost destroyed the world, because she couldn't get the fuck over not being special enough or having an asshole dad. I suppose in Jess's ideal version, she would have slaughtered her siblings in vengeance for daring to show her up and been crowned Queen Vanya of Earth.

Jess' ideal version is basically Season 2 Vanya.