Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[FinnaBinna]

Side note: lol I can't believe someone else remembers all this as well as I do. The vintage/pinup scene was rampant with crazies, but one thing united everyone: Tess being a cunt.

Haha!! Yep. I remember how juicy it was. Lots of popcorn bags where microwaved.

 

[OttoWest]

lmfao @ "my family is choctaw." that's a new one for me. i'm guessing it's a 1/16th kind of situation, or else she would be constantly shilling this information and referring to herself as a woman of color.

Please. She’s not 1/116th much less 1/16th.

 

[Water-T]

How would DMs make this right? Tess was a bitch then, and no amount of blather is going to change that. If this wasn't a black woman, Tess wouldn't have given a fuck, and most likely would have just responded with dumb clown emojis.

My guess is that Tess is going to try to bribe her to recant or "accept" a half assed apology. I'm sure that girl will be super impressed with stretched out hand-me-downs crusted with cake crumbs and dried frosting.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

How would DMs make this right? Tess was a bitch then, and no amount of blather is going to change that. If this wasn't a black woman, Tess wouldn't have given a fuck, and most likely would have just responded with dumb clown emojis.

My guess is that Tess is going to try to bribe her to recant or "accept" a half assed apology. I'm sure that girl will be super impressed with stretched out hand-me-downs crusted with cake crumbs and dried frosting.

I assume she wanted to take it to DMs because Two Ton Tess was getting embarrassed that a black woman was publicly calling her out and wanted to take the conversation private so it wouldn’t keep embarrassing her and her newfound woke persona. It shouldn’t shock any of us of course that she has a history of treating service employees like garbage. We’re just scratching the surface so I hope they keep coming!

These last few days haven’t been so great for Ryann, how many champagne cakes has she inhaled out of stress?

 

[Constellationzero]

Yay!! I didn’t know Laura spoke up!
I’ll give y’all some backstory.

Michelline Pitt worked with Laura at Pinup Girl Clothing (PUG) and would help design clothes, photograph, recruit new models etc. So Michelline really wanted Tess to model for PUG because at that time they were starting to extend their plus size line. Michelline measured her and made a dress for her to model. And that was like her first big big break especially since at the time she was into the pinup look. Tess told/posted about it and there was excitement like hey our girl has hit the big time. For whatever reason and I can’t remember Laura didn’t immediately shoot Tess so Tess was in limbo. Meantime Tess’s hordes started harassing PUG on their Facebook page about “why haven’t y’all shot Tess yet?” It was such to a degree that PUG was getting that negative attention because of Tess that Laura made the call to not use her after all. Later Laura and Michelle shoot a video of Laura basically addressing Tess but not saying by name that LAURA made the call not to use her because out how she got her fans to bully her company into shooting her right away. Laura was PISSSSED. I wish I could find that video...

Anyway, Michelline then posted this long blog/note on fb about Tess. Not addressing her by name but, WE ALL KNEW that it was about Tess. And it was about if you want to succceeed in this business this is how you not conduct yourself. I don’t even know if it’s still up but, it was a Mic drop if there ever was one.

Around this time Tess posted the “Sunday night rant” on her YouTube talking about Some “stuff “ she was going through. It was the loss of the job at PUG.

These pics are when Michelline and her were doing a fitting. The dress was finished but, Tessy never got to model it. She ended up selling it in one of her online shop my closet sales like the true hustler she is!

"Why haven't y'all shot Tess yet?"

You see, folks, THESE are the REAL questions here. Yes, why hasn't anyone shot Tess yet?

Edit: 1/100ths does not a minority make. But Chocktaw so I award .05 of a point for originality since they all usually say they're Cherokee and their grandma was a Cherokee princess.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

"Why haven't y'all shot Tess yet?"

You see, folks, THESE are the REAL questions here. Yes, why hasn't anyone shot Tess yet?

Edit: 1/100ths does not a minority make. But Chocktaw so I award .05 of a point for originality since they all usually say they're Cherokee and their grandma was a Cherokee princess.

I just quickly skimmed through the Wikipedia article about the Choctaw, and have the feeling that I know more about them, than Tess "Mah Injun Family!!" That was just the usual attention whoring White Girl dickmove. Actual natives celebrate Thanksgiving, as it means "Party, Family, Friends and Food." In Tess' case we of course know what her top priority is. In case she keeps up her woke bullshit, I am eager to see if she will totally not celebrate Thanksgiving because all of a sudden she remembers her heritage. Not for oppression points, no, but because of genocide and stuff!!

And just because Your Scottish Irish great-great-great-great grandfather did stick his dick into a native woman, does not make You an Indian... It means shit, when you know more about Champagne sheet cake than anything about your claimed heritage.

 

[Angry New Ager]

"Why haven't y'all shot Tess yet?"

You see, folks, THESE are the REAL questions here. Yes, why hasn't anyone shot Tess yet?

Edit: 1/100ths does not a minority make. But Chocktaw so I award .05 of a point for originality since they all usually say they're Cherokee and their grandma was a Cherokee princess.

I'm reminded of a joke:

Q: What do you call 64 white people in one room together?

A: One Cherokee princess.

I had totally forgotten about her "Choctaw ancestry" claim until now. Since she has, as well, I think it's a grand time for somebody to bring it up again.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Husband LOVES it when some dumbass woman finds out he's Native, and tries pulling the "Cherokee Princess" BS on him.

He'll start asking the dummy about the Dawes rolls, what's her BIA or Dawes number, and watches her fall apart. She starts sputtering that "It's something my grandma told me about!"

And the Cherokee nation doesn't have kings, or princesses, but elders and such.

 

[Constellationzero]

Husband LOVES it when some dumbass woman finds out he's Native, and tries pulling the "Cherokee Princess" BS on him.

He'll start asking the dummy about the Dawes rolls, what's her BIA or Dawes number, and watches her fall apart. She starts sputtering that "It's something my grandma told me about!"

And the Cherokee nation doesn't have kings, or princesses, but elders and such.

Which is one of the biggest tells that they're doing it for bully pulpit points.

It's like these idiots who believe in reincarnation. Ever notice how no one was ever a common whore, slave, down on his luck store manager, firefighter, or homeless bum? But if I had a damn shot for every time someone claims to be reincarnated from Cleopatra, Tesla, Julius Caesar, etc.

 

[Miss Misery]

I did most of Tess' family tree today...

See the foolish thing about being from the South and making claims about your ancestors is that Southerners LOVE genealogy...

I'll share details once I'm finished, but suffice it to say not only is Tess NOT Choctaw (and obviously she has no tribal affiliations)...

But like every person with a multi-generational history in the south?

Her ancestors were all Confederates and slave owners.

Ooops!

 

[SassyAndMorbidlyObese]

I did most of Tess' family tree today...

See the foolish thing about being from the South and making claims about your ancestors is that Southerners LOVE genealogy...

I'll share details once I'm finished, but suffice it to say not only is Tess NOT Choctaw (and obviously she has no tribal affiliations)...

But like every person with a multi-generational history in the south?

Her ancestors were all Confederates and slave owners.

Ooops!

This is why I love KF

 

[Constellationzero]

I did most of Tess' family tree today...

See the foolish thing about being from the South and making claims about your ancestors is that Southerners LOVE genealogy...

I'll share details once I'm finished, but suffice it to say not only is Tess NOT Choctaw (and obviously she has no tribal affiliations)...

But like every person with a multi-generational history in the south?

Her ancestors were all Confederates and slave owners.

Ooops!

What did you do? Just draw a straight fucking line?

 

[Miss Misery]

What did you do? Just draw a straight fucking line?

Bwahaha!

(There are some concerning repeats of a few surnames but no confirmed inbreeding yet... although I'm only 4-5 generations back so far.)

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

I really wish she would stop posting pictures of Bowie. No kid deserves to be paraded online like this and this poor kid having those shittyass parents on top of all the poop stories... good luck kid.

 

[Miss Misery]

Uh oh Tessie, the filters can't keep up with your wrinkles anymore...

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

I see that Tess is dragging out the "Sexwork is real Work" slogan. Since the suspicions of her being a fat fetish hooker came up, I waited for her to do this move.

And Tess took the friendly advice to heart, that it is kind of stupid just to trot out shout-outs to people she may or may not have met. And now she drags her totes best black friend with child to whore out the playdate with Bowie.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Kurdoğlu]

Not that she IS Choctaw, but if she was now would be a good time for her to actually "use her privilege" as it were. There's currently a big fuss on twitter because Choctaws were one of the tribes that legalized chattel slavery. Many Choctaws fought for the Confederacy so they could continue owning slaves. After slavery, Choctaw Freedmen, similar to former slaves elsewhere in the US, were treated as second class. Currently Choctaw Freedmen are denied citizenship rights within the tribe.

If she actually were Choctaw, she could use this opportunity to educate, but she's just interested in parroting current woke points with barely surface level understanding.

 

[JambledUpWords]

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Spoiler: NSFL