🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Have you ever been so inspired by a sex-tape that you create an account on an autistic internet forum and make a song about it?

Ethan Ralph was tweeting around, the IBS-sphere like a big playground,
But suddenly Null, he had a live stream, making jokes about corn and the farms liked the meme,
But Ethan got pissed and started to rage, then Dick came in to give him a stage,
So then Ethan bought a camera for his late-night show, but PPP's audience started to grow,

Guntguards got to work and started to report, but they couldn't save the dying Ralph Retort
Who was looking worse and worse as the days went on, he tried to bring it back but was too far gone
The corn kept growing, people started to flock, as Dame Pesos started to block,
But it wasn't enough, and it was getting late, and that's when Ralph laid his eyes on little Fai Fai

This is the Ultimate Lolcow, of ultimate spergery
Guntguards, Kiwis and some gay ops, as far the eyes can see
But only one will eat corn, I wonder who it could be
This is the Ultimate Lolcow, of ultimate spergery

Ethan's thread was growing in size, just like his gunt was as big as two guys,
Faith's paper plates made Ethan irate, seething real hard as he kept gaining weight,
Posting pics online of this 18-year-old girl, forcing her to smile, causing us to hurl,
She was just out of high school and looked kinda frumpy, with an acne-covered face and a body that was lumpy,

Made Ralph drinks and drew him like a girl, while the Kiwi Farms were having a whirl,
Feeling bad for Dad, who was tweeting like a chad, but his girl was getting gunted and that made him real mad,
So he started to plead for Faith to come home, as Mundane Matt went and picked a bone,
With Ethan himself, who gave Matt a call, and that's all went into a free-fall,

This is the Ultimate Lolcow, of ultimate spergery
Guntguards, Kiwis and some gay ops, as far the eyes can see
But only one will eat corn, I wonder who it could be
This is the Ultimate Lolcow..

Boogie and Frank, were talking real late,
As Ethan Ralph released his very own sex tape,
It didn't seem real, people started to doubt,
But that penis was his, it was truly that stout,

And then the internet exploded, the gunt was real,
Everyone watched the video, and heard his squeal,
As a pumped his load, inside of Faith,
Who's trolling who, is anyone safe?

Not Gaytor or Dick, who tried to gunt guard,
and Dame was quiet, but Jim played his cards,
Ade was pissed, along with Nora too,
Godwinson got his Twitter nuked,
Digibro, Kraut and Tea,
Justin Whang and PPP,
Null and Andy Warski,
Hotwheels, Toad McKinley,
Nick Rekieta, Lorelei,
DeOrio and Venti,
All this shit archived by the Kiwi

The sperging went on for a couple weeks, when it was finally done things, well, things got bleak,
Think about what's going through the head of Mr. Vickers,
He's probably sick of all this shit you stupid nig-

This is the Ultimate Lolcow, of ultimate spergery
Guntguards, Kiwis and some gay ops, as far the eyes can see
But only one will eat corn, I wonder who it could be
This is the Ultimate Lolcow, (this is the Ultimate Lolcow), this is the Ultimate Lolcow of ultimate spergery
 
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All becomes gunt said:
At this point i am waiting for @Null 's sex tape with Faith. What is this timeline
Click to expand...
Won't happen. Even if Joosh hooked up with Faith, blind folded himself to not vomit, and found a way to get hard for this cumdumpster gutter slut to make a sextape, he wouldn't be able to cum 😢
#ForeskinLivesMatter
 
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Buffalo Chicken Sandwich said:
Yep, harvest time is right around the corner. Yep... lotta corn in these fields. There's so many things you can do with corn too. Corn on the cob, corn bread, corn dogs, hush puppies, corn tortillas, corn meal, whiskey, corn syrup, corn nuts. You can pop the corn, shuck the corn, make a corn cob pipe, if you have hispanic friends you can have elote, or you can dry out the colorful kind and make a centerpiece for thanksgiving. Yep.... sure is a lot of corn coming.
View attachment 1503419
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Yep, even found gunt-filled, trailer trash, creampie, revenge porn in the corn this year. Yep, not sure I needed to see it, but corn comes in all forms.
 
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Secret Asshole said:
I can't even fucking believe this.

@Null makes a simple, silly corn joke.

Ralph's skin is thin as soaked tissue paper. Orbiters and defenders go "LOL KAREN FARMS", "INCEL LOSERS, 18 YEAR OLD IS AWESOME"

This continues, until Ralph's ex comes out. Then her ex-boyfriend comes out with tweets. Then starts a livestream.

Ralph is drunk as fuck, angry and then goes "fuck you incel losers, I fucked your GF"

Ralph's career is completely utterly annihilated by this by nearly everyone except a few stupid faggots who are trying to white knight for him.

@Kraut you no longer need to gay ops to get back at Ethan. @Null took Ralph out with a dad corn joke. A FUCKING DAD JOKE DESTROYED ETHAN RALPH'S LIFE.
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lol null accomplished more with a joke than kraut with a whole discord of "intellectuals" and a fake posh accent. rofl
 
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wildgoose said:
I got fed up with up with the volatile behavior and how he treated everyone around him and so I just parted ways and fucked off. He was one of those people that expected unquestioning loyalty from everybody (he says the word "loyal" a lot if you've heard him describe certain people) but never reciprocated that loyalty unless it directly benefited him in some superficial way. This all probably sounds really vague, but I'm here to laugh at all the microdick and butthole jokes and not really motivated to type a book about it.
Click to expand...

Something I've always wondered about Ralph. Is he vindictive only when drunk or is he like that all the time. Has he got worse? I remember back in the old days he used to be able to laugh at himself. However, it seems like over time he's lost that ability.

Is he drinking more and getting crazier? Or did the e-Fame go to his head?

LaurenLauren said:
You got my autistic ass wrong there, my friend. I meant that he will sue the Gunt, for damages to his family and her daughters reputation. Since Ethan is broke he'll has to pay in any way he can, that also includes giving up his possessions, material or not.
Click to expand...

Is he broke though? Adezero reckons he's not

https://twitter.com/adezero3/status/1293149633309478912
https://archive.vn/tJyl9

1597164396189.png

How is this going to work out? I reckon if you're the owner of a Gunt you're going to have a real bad day.
 
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