šŸ· Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Endu said:
Have you ever been so inspired by a sex-tape that you create an account on an autistic internet forum and make a song about it?

Ethan Ralph was tweeting around, the IBS-sphere like a big playground,
But suddenly Null, he had a live stream, making jokes about corn and the farms liked the meme,
But Ethan got pissed and started to rage, then Dick came in to give him a stage,
So then Ethan bought a camera for his late-night show, but PPP's audience started to grow,

Guntguards got to work and started to report, but they couldn't save the dying Ralph Retort
Who was looking worse and worse as the days went on, he tried to bring it back but was too far gone
The corn kept growing, people started to flock, as Dame Pesos started to block,
But it wasn't enough, and it was getting late, and that's when Ralph laid his eyes on little Fai Fai

This is the Ultimate Lolcow, of ultimate spergery
Guntguards, Kiwis and some gay ops, as far the eyes can see
But only one will eat corn, I wonder who it could be
This is the Ultimate Lolcow, of ultimate spergery

Ethan's thread was growing in size, just like his gunt was as big as two guys,
Faith's paper plates made Ethan irate, seething real hard as he kept gaining weight,
Posting pics online of this 18-year-old girl, forcing her to smile, causing us to hurl,
She was just out of high school and looked kinda frumpy, with an acne-covered face and a body that was lumpy,

Made Ralph drinks and drew him like a girl, while the Kiwi Farms were having a whirl,
Feeling bad for Dad, who was tweeting like a chad, but his girl was getting gunted and that made him real mad,
So he started to plead for Faith to come home, as Mundane Matt went and picked a bone,
With Ethan himself, who gave Matt a call, and that's all went into a free-fall,

This is the Ultimate Lolcow, of ultimate spergery
Guntguards, Kiwis and some gay ops, as far the eyes can see
But only one will eat corn, I wonder who it could be
This is the Ultimate Lolcow..

Boogie and Frank, were talking real late,
As Ethan Ralph released his very own sex tape,
It didn't seem real, people started to doubt,
But that penis was his, it was truly that stout,

And then the internet exploded, the gunt was real,
Everyone watched the video, and heard his squeal,
As a pumped his load, inside of Faith,
Who's trolling who, is anyone safe?

Not Gaytor or Dick, who tried to gunt guard,
and Dame was quiet, but Jim played his cards,
Ade was pissed, along with Nora too,
Godwinson got his Twitter nuked,
Digibro, Kraut and Tea,
Justin Whang and PPP,
Null and Andy Warski,
Hotwheels, Toad McKinley,
Nick Rekieta, Lorelei,
DeOrio and Venti,
All this shit archived by the Kiwi

The sperging went on for a couple weeks, when it was finally done things, well, things got bleak,
Think about what's going through the head of Mr. Vickers,
He's probably sick of all this shit you stupid nig-

This is the Ultimate Lolcow, of ultimate spergery
Guntguards, Kiwis and some gay ops, as far the eyes can see
But only one will eat corn, I wonder who it could be
This is the Ultimate Lolcow, (this is the Ultimate Lolcow), this is the Ultimate Lolcow of ultimate spergery
Click to expand...
The OC floweth over!
 
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Sorry that it took a while frens. Sorry if i'm late.

Guntyocean.gif
 
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These video game jiggle physics are horrifying


Toast Sandwich said:
View attachment 1511765

One thing that's been glossed over as far as I can tell (so many pages) is that Ethan Ralph does not only have a gunt, but he actually has a double gunt. It is divided into separate levels. There is a large primary gunt and a lower and smaller secondary gunt. Could there also be a tertiary gunt? Ralph's twisted biology has been proven to hide many horrific surprises.

View attachment 1511766
Click to expand...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and name the upper gunt, gunt primus, and the lower, gunt secundus
 
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Edivitch said:
I mean what are the odds some other gunted retard has kill stream shit on his wall and is also fucking faith?
Click to expand...
not a refutation of it being Ralph. Just small detail analysis and wondering why Ralph has a workout watch (if that's what it is which I am super not sure about)
 
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I am still working through the backlog but I did a little rewriting of Jethro Tull's Locomotive Breath:

In the outskirts of Richmond,
In the home of Tampon Breath,
Sits the Arby's ripper,
Drinking himself to death.
He feels the room spinning,
Hears Gator gunt guarding on his show,
Ethan Ralph just bought a new handle
And the drinking won't stop going
No way to slow down

He sees the child bride's DMs,
Being archived one by one,
So he posts a sex tape,
Of no one having fun.
He's slumping over the table,
Shaking at the knees,
Ethan Ralph just bought a new handle,
The drinking won't stop going,
No way to slow down.

He hears his smart watch howling,
Now everyone knows his dick is small,
And the KiwiFarmer,
Has got him by his tiny balls,
He picks up another Xanax
Swallows it down to his gunt
Ethan Ralph bought a new handle
The drinking won't stop going,
No way to slow down.
 
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