🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Unlike Chrysippus however, I almost did for real. As in I was on all fours screaming from all that laughter. My abs still hurt as I'm writing this.

So let me get this straight, in order to trigger the Farms, own the Farms while dunking on Faith's ex, Ethan "The Gunt" Ralph would - on his own accord - be not only dumb enough to make a sex tape in the first place, but distribute it. It was his own decision for za warudo to bear witness to his Akira monstrosity of a gunt - in spite of being constantly triggered by the gunt memes. The gunt memes we had are a nothing compared to what is to come. As if that wasn't enough, he finally confirmed beyond any reasonable doubt that he has indeed a micropenis - something he fervently denied and seethed over for five years.

I know Ralph has a well documented history of micropenis induced anger issues combined with a fantastically low IQ (which isn't helped by his alcoholism), but with that move he made Andy Warski look like a Nobel Prize recipient by comparison. Is there, at the moment of me writing this, anyone left to out-cow him? Mumkey Jones still has a reason to live simply by not being Ralph. For most part lolcows produce Julay by accident or otherwise unintentionally, but Ralph gave us some platinum quality Julay in form of a deliberate self own birthed from a misguided believe he'd bury Meth-kun and the Farms.

I don't know if the revenge porn laws are applicable - let alone if this saga will end with Ralph behind the bars again. But whatever the end may be, which definitely won't be a happy one, let it be known to future historians that it all started over a corn joke. I never expected the harvest to be this bountiful, but Ralph's monumental retardation is blessed with a fertility that would be the envy of Ceres. We might be witnessing legit internet history in the making.

Ralph you complete and utter fuckup! :story:
 
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Aurora said:
Dame, dude, seriously, this is not a hill you want to die on. What is it with these fucking people?
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Beaner that got a lot of attention and "clout" in a small sphere online and refuses to give up what he perceives to be acceptance into the "in crowd" with Dick and Ralph. He has to sink with this ship, because it's the only one that would have him.
 
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Dyn said:
I was just about to send $10 to this girl because I'm a virgin simp on the internet but after seeing her in that disgusting video I feel that her reputation has been so irreparably damaged that I'm no longer comfortable sending her the $10 and I'm sure lots of other virgin simps on the internet feel exactly the same way I do.
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Give Null your money instead. He deserves it far more than any thot
 
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