DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

Status
Not open for further replies.
Then I guess the communism in my Country wasn'r communism. Seriously they had People working Jobs that could be done by one Person (like a cleaner claening a room several times a day in a hotel and each tme it was a different cleaner)

Can confirm.

Communism in the 30ies wasn’t communism in the 70ies.

If you lived in the Eastern Block or Soviet Union in the 60ies and onwards, your life likely looked like this:

*Working in a place with 300 employees, when 150 or 200 could have done the job. Since communism meant no official unemployment, everyone had to work, even if their position strictly wasn’t necessary. So you had factories where 1000 people do the work of 600, stores where one employee takes your money, another employee gives you a receipt and a third employee takes your receipt and gives you what you bought.

*Cheap as fuck rents and basic necessities like power, water etc. The downside was year long waiting lists on anything not considered a necessity: Telephone, TV, etc. It also meant that the bureaucrat who handed out apartments had enormous power. Party members and those paying under the table (or sucking some apparatchik dick) got the pick of the litter.

*Stores were always full, but not with what you needed. You might get very cheap staples, but if you wanted some ham or milk, you got what was left after party members and corruption had done its thing.

Phil, with his natural tendency for laziness would have fit in just nicely.

Except for when the party called for a “spontaneous demonstration” for whatever reason. Phil would love the time off, but would bitch endlessly at having to get up early in the morning and march around for hours yelling slogans.
 
phil now wants to paywall his everyday spiel about how he played video games as a child

8E4F9098-B158-496C-ACCE-BB2C5140E380.png
 
Holy Jesus, Phil is the lolcow of lolcows, this thread has over 110k replies, has the man surpassed the great Chris himself?
 
phil now wants to paywall his everyday spiel about how he played video games as a child

View attachment 1514621

“Someone” = “Alotta Peepul” = Phil’s lonely, ginsoaked self.

How very Phil that even buying a 15$ vest is too much effort. He wants to just sit and gab.

Also note how Phil has gotten used to the idea of the streak continuing and being something he’s entitled to.

No “if the streak continues” or “in the unlikely event my pigroach luck doesn’t run out”. Nah... In Phil’s eyes continued veststreak success is guaranteed.

It’s going to make his complaining when it invariably fails even more entertaining!
 
phil now wants to paywall his everyday spiel about how he played video games as a child

View attachment 1514621
Oh and by the way, if you don’t like this idea you’re a mentally ill detractor and not a real fan.
Hmmmm, seems like all my fans want me to do this! You can’t blame me if it’s boring, it wasn’t my idea!
 
“Someone” = “Alotta Peepul” = Phil’s lonely, ginsoaked self.
With how little she seemed to give a shit about the ramblings of Phil, I wouldn't be phased if "alottapeepul" is actually just Khet.

"This reminds me of this time at an arcade when I-"
"I don't care, Philip. Talk to your retards on stream, I've got dragons to rend."
"Rend rhymes with spend... Hmmm." *Patchy goat scratch*

Thus, the idea is born.
 
With how little she seemed to give a shit about the ramblings of Phil, I wouldn't be phased if "alottapeepul" is actually just Khet.

"This reminds me of this time at an arcade when I-"
"I don't care, Philip. Talk to your retards on stream, I've got dragons to rend."
"Rend rhymes with spend... Hmmm." *Patchy goat scratch*

Thus, the idea is born.
Philip: "You know, dear, I came in 4th at Evo-"
Khat: "I don't care, Phil. I'm playing the latest AAA game worse than you."
Philip: "That's a good idea, I should gate my ramblings behind a paywall and spend more on WWE Champions. Great thinking dear."
 
But you've already told us that story a million times, grandpa.
"...and this kid was so scared that he crawled up into the ceiling! Ack ack ack! No joke! He was up there for hours! They had to call in the fire department to cut him out! Ack ack ack!"

Phil looks at chat. They are talking about pizza and posting memes.

"Alright. Idiots in chat are obviously not paying attention to my story. Let me start over from the beginning..."
 
There's another aspect to DSP being bad at games that I can never make my mind up on. Specifically, in games like Dark Souls (I mean, a hell of a lot of games, but one of the first things I saw of DSP was a Dark Souls TIHYDP and it's immensely noticeable in Dark Souls) is how he'll say he hit a button and the character didn't do that. While that's a universal thing for him in video games, I can't decide if he genuinely doesn't realize a ton of games don't let you cancel mid-action to go immediately into another action (you know, to punish you for mashing attack?), or it's just a fallback excuse because he knows he fucked up but he can never take the blame.

Eastern Bloc Phil sucks up to a local official (behind the scenes) to become manager of a factory.
Becomes widely hated by the workers, who give reports to the Secret Police.
Even frumpier wife reports him for counter-revolutionary statements.
Sent to gulag for not meeting work quotas and being an enemy of the state.
Nothing he could do, comrade.

The Stasi would have loved East Berlin DSP. Constantly "behind the scenes," reporting on his neighbours. Hell, it may be the one job in life he'd have exceled at.
 
phil now wants to paywall his everyday spiel about how he played video games as a child

View attachment 1514621

The part about this that I take note of is that he goes right for Street Fighter, a franchise we already know his history with. Can't imagine why he wouldn't have any other games from the '90s to discuss...

“Someone” = “Alotta Peepul” = Phil’s lonely, ginsoaked self.

How very Phil that even buying a 15$ vest is too much effort. He wants to just sit and gab.

Indeed he very much does, and there's as much evidence of that as there is proving the Champions meme. It's not even the isolation that has him wanting to just ramble on and on, the isolation was chosen because he found out the hard way that most people don't tolerate his bad traits. Phil just loves to hear himself talk, always has. This is just one more step towards getting away with not playing games on stream.

Also note how Phil has gotten used to the idea of the streak continuing and being something he’s entitled to.

No “if the streak continues” or “in the unlikely event my pigroach luck doesn’t run out”. Nah... In Phil’s eyes continued veststreak success is guaranteed.

It’s going to make his complaining when it invariably fails even more entertaining!

It's because it's rigged, which means it's never going to fail, at least in accordance with Phil's standards. What's really funny is that he thinks he won here, but, once again, he does not win, because once again, we run his shit. We're in charge. We laugh at him, he goes out of his way to not get laughed at, makes mistakes (like not covering up so well that he made an arrangement), and winds up being a fool anyway, if not a bigger one. The vest streak and its fakeness are the biggest fail he has had in years. He should've admitted it when it stopped at 70-something, and just started over, but Phil always runs from even the tiniest bit of discomfort and right into a situation that's even worse.

All he has done here is take his level of dishonesty up a notch.

@GunnlaugurSassoon That's what happens when someone is so known for being full of excuses but also being utterly incompetent at the simplest things: either possibly is equally likely, and almost impossible to discern which it is.
 
or it's just a fallback excuse because he knows he fucked up but he can never take the blame.
It's always this. You can hear it on his inputs. In Souls games, for instance, you'll hear him press to roll, his character begins the roll, Phil fucked up because he rolled too early/late, then you hear wild mashing, Phil gets crushed by something/rolls off a cliff, "WHAT. I didn't do that. I didn't do that at all.", sausage mode on couch, "Wauw, what a great game."

Insert any game that isn't a turn-based RPG for "Souls" and this is precisely how it always is. And even then, I'm sure there's been times where he has fucked up those inputs, too.

Edit: So I didn't double-post, but looks like it didn't matter anyway.


Back to Phil based psychology I found this video pretty interesting. It pretty much nails everything Phil does.

A little late on this one, I had meant to go back and watch it. This is amazing. Half of the time, I expected to see cheerssubsandtips come up in the bottom-left corner. If anyone had doubts about Phil being even remotely narcissistic, this hits the nail squarely on its oddly-shaped head.
 
Last edited:
It's always this. You can hear it on his inputs. In Souls games, for instance, you'll hear him press to roll, his character begins the roll, Phil fucked up because he rolled too early/late, then you hear wild mashing, Phil gets crushed by something/rolls off a cliff, "WHAT. I didn't do that. I didn't do that at all.", sausage mode on couch, "Wauw, what a great game."

Insert any game that isn't a turn-based RPG for "Souls" and this is precisely how it always is. And even then, I'm sure there's been times where he has fucked up those inputs, too.
My personal favorite is when he’s playing a 3D platformer and he claims “It dropped my jump input!”
This especially happens a lot in Super Mario Sunshine and the Kingdom Hearts games.
Phil isn’t smart enough to realize that you can’t jump while you’re already falling, so he doesn’t understand it’s his slow reflexes not hitting the button in time before he runs off the platform. Instead the game just failed to register.
 
My personal favorite is when he’s playing a 3D platformer and he claims “It dropped my jump input!”
This especially happens a lot in Super Mario Sunshine and the Kingdom Hearts games.
Phil isn’t smart enough to realize that you can’t jump while you’re already falling, so he doesn’t understand it’s his slow reflexes not hitting the button in time before he runs off the platform. Instead the game just failed to register.

What's really telling is that his inputs never get dropped when he's jumping onto a ledge and the consequence of failing to do so isn't death. It's only when he's going to get hit by something or die if he doesn't manage the jump properly that he hits a button and nothing happens.

But of course noticing that is just detractor nonsense...
 
The vest streak and its fakeness are the biggest fail he has had in years. He should've admitted it when it stopped at 70-something, and just started over, but Phil always runs from even the tiniest bit of discomfort and right into a situation that's even worse.
See now that's an interesting though experiment. If Phil had just let it die naturally he could have come back with a "Let's see if we can beat the previous steak." Nothing people like more than overcoming a challenge. Except for Phil, who wants everything on easy mode.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back