🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Matt Jarbo did the math, he's drinking 2 bottles a night and that'd be about 3600 calories BASE not factoring in chasers. That would be enough to sustain a 360lb person (if we're factoring 10kcal/lb, sedentary activity level). If he just ate the bare minimum and drank two bottles every night he could easily sustain himself for some time, but he does seem to already be suffering from muscular atrophy (eg: his tiny ill-defined arms and legs, poor back definition).

He's leeching minerals from his bones to keep going, I don't even want to imagine what's happening to his teeth as he continues to spiral. It's all just bad. And the brain! You'll end up like Diana from the Opie and Anthony show, thinking you're 30 years in the past on a Navy ship.

It's likely worse than that. Most RMR calculations assume an average body fat percentage for ease of use. Unless whatever calculator Marvelous Matt used was able to figure in Ralph's lean body mass and make a calculation based on that (highly unlikely, the most rudimentary form of attaining that information that I'm aware of involves measuring the circumference of various body parts, such as your wrist) it's estimating how much he burns per day on the very high end.
 
How much alcohol is he drinking to be maintaining his body weight? The guy is fucking huge and has no muscle mass. To be maintaining that on pure alcoholic consumption alone blows my mind.
How does this work? How do you gain weight from only drinking? Maybe the gunt is actually a cancer and is eating all his muscles and bones.
Also,
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Known colloquially as 'Wet Brain'. I concur that Ralph is well on his way. As a hypothetical, lets say he is. Does he remember sending the sex tape link to fai-fai's meth bf?
I actually think there's a possibility when he first tweeted he literally believed "he never leaked shit" because he sent it in a blackout and is too stubborn and stupid to realize he blacks out and does dumb shit. There's video evidence of how shitfaced he was getting on the Frank Hassle/Boogie stream.
Though he should be tech savvy enough to realize there's a sent messages log he could check, unless he deleted it in his flailing around.


How does this work? How do you gain weight from only drinking? Maybe the gunt is actually a cancer and is eating all his muscles and bones.
Also, View attachment 1516472
The assumption in that is that you're drinking liquor like a normal person, not going through multiple bottles daily. A shot of Makers Mark is 69 calories (one drink), but a 750ML bottle is closer to 1725.
 
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>Alcohol contains a lot of "empty" calories. He's fond of bourbon, and he chases it with coke, piling the carbs, calories.
I know this is a small thing, but it amuses me that Ralph can't even be bothered to do the typical "fat guy LARPing about getting healthy" thing and drink diet coke. He's drinking liters and liters of High Fructose CORN syrup every single night
 
I know this is a small thing, but it amuses me that Ralph can't even be bothered to do the typical "fat guy LARPing about getting healthy" think and drinking diet coke. He's drinking liters and liters of High Fructose CORN syrup every single night
Seriously, even if you're colonizing your gatrobacterial flora with fake sugar you're buying yourself some more time. Makers Mark is one of the sweeter bourbons too, though it seems like he's switched to lighter fuel in recent times.
 
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How does this work? How do you gain weight from only drinking? Maybe the gunt is actually a cancer and is eating all his muscles and bones.
Also, View attachment 1516472
lmao

Hey Alexa, what can I drink to not become massively obese?

>nearly every form of liquor known to man

lol fuck that I'll just keep slamming this whiskey
 
I actually think there's a possibility when he first tweeted he literally believed "he never leaked shit" because he sent it in a blackout and is too stubborn and stupid to realize he blacks out and does dumb shit. There's video evidence of how shitfaced he was getting on the Frank Hassle/Boogie stream.
Though he should be tech savvy enough to realize there's a sent messages log he could check, unless he deleted it in his flailing around.
I think the Methman blocked him after the tape was sent but I could be wrong so there wouldn't be a record of it other than the video if I'm not mistaken
 
I thought Ralph was only sipping on one bottle of warm ass, flat as fuck, rank ass Coca Cola? I wouldn't be surprised if he is drinking bottles upon bottles. I tried looking for updates on this weird ICP integration that is going on but seen nothing since the call-out. Which is insane that a rap group who is famously known to have fans that are EXACTLY like Ralph.
 
How does this work? How do you gain weight from only drinking? Maybe the gunt is actually a cancer and is eating all his muscles and bones.
Also, View attachment 1516472

Alcohol has a ton of calories in it...a six pack of light beer is still like 600 calories and chunk of carbs. The problem is that alcohol is empty nutritionally. Your body will start breaking down muscle for protein and your brain gets fucked up when you fail to eat well.

The death of an alcoholic is horrific.
 
How does this work? How do you gain weight from only drinking? Maybe the gunt is actually a cancer and is eating all his muscles and bones.
Also, View attachment 1516472
Lol you cant lose weight on bourban, that shit is 51% corn and loaded with sugar. That being said you dont tend to gain a whole lot of weight either, except in your liver when it swells up from cirosis. Here is a fun thought experiment that I thought about back when ralph was talking about fighting PPP, what if he took a liver kick? Go watch some videos of Bas Ruten talking about the effectivness of liver kicks and then imagine hitting the gunt with one. They would be able to pour what was left of him into a bottle and it would legally qualify as a bourban.
 
Gator, we know you read this.

Spend the next 2-3 weeks:
- Learning how to edit videos
- Making new branding for yourself
- Coming up with content/video/show ideas
- Budgeting life without the Killstream money

Then go off and do your own YouTube show. Stay out of the drama - don't snake. Move on with your life and take your audience with you. You're boring as fuck, but people watch and you'll have more opportunities for success without the 350lb gunt chained to your ankle.

You have existing inroads with the commentary community you could use to promote yourself. If you stay with the gunt, you're a retard who values Ralph's scraps more than your own opportunities.
I would add work on yourself get some irl hobbies where you meet real normal people who aren't pedos, alcoholics or crazy . Trust me it will change your life

Also whatever ralph has on you is nowhere near bad as you think . It will blow over anyway and it will be posted anyway it's just matter of time since the gunt is unstable alcoholic approaching his end.

Actually to all gunguarding him Dick, andy and co . Unless you show up at his house and physically destroy his computer expect that shit to be posted. This your moment to get rid of the gunt . Nobody will give much of a fuck whatever bs has on you pales in comparison to his tiny barely working dick and sex tape or his disgusting behavior. Just rip the band-aid off already.
 
ralphs.png
now look at that ralph! doesnt that just look down right sumptuous? gives you energy and if you jewgle it youll see health experts say users describe the high as literally orgasmic. now do you want those good feelings or do you want more of being nulls good little boy and doing what he says and not smoking what he forbids you?
 
The thing that gets me the most is Gator. Gator said he's never handled an alcoholic before in that kid's stream but I noticed something else.

In Gator's stream he was very careful to not make Ralph's drinking problem a thing. Talked about PUNTING THE GUNT first and then said he should "Cut Back" on drinking.

In that kid's stream he said, "I said Ralph needs to STOP drinking"

Gator knew that Ralph was watching the first stream but probably wasn't watching the second. Gator knows damn well what Ralph needs to do to not fucking die. It's not working out, it's not cutting back, Ralph needs to stop. But Gator is too afraid to say that to Ralph because Ralph will throw a giant tantrum.

Gator is loyal. Gator is indeed Ralph's friend. Well here's some advice on alcoholics Gator. It is impossible for them to be your friend in return if they are drinking. If you're afraid, Shannon, that Ralph won't be your friend anymore just remember this. You're sacrificing him to maintain that friendship. You're the one sacrificing him to the corn.
 
Alcohol has a ton of calories in it...a six pack of light beer is still like 600 calories and chunk of carbs. The problem is that alcohol is empty nutritionally. Your body will start breaking down muscle for protein and your brain gets fucked up when you fail to eat well.

The death of an alcoholic is horrific.
It's like a slower and even nastier version of rabbit starvation.
 
I've known fat crack heads in my time. Crack gets you high for 15 minutes, maybe half an hour if you're lucky. If you've got that wiring in your head for compulsive eating not even crack is going to fix that; meth on the other hand, meth uber alles.
I don't know, it didn't seem to work for Faith.
 
You're sacrificing him to maintain that friendship. You're the one sacrificing him to the corn.
I don't know if he's sacrificing him to maintain the friendship, or if it's more because he can no longer define himself outside his Killstream role and he's dependent on the money he earns from the KS. Either way they're enmeshed and it's really unhealthy and fucked up.

I don't know, it didn't seem to work for Faith.
She appears to have substituted her meth habit for an alcohol addiction, but she's young enough she might be able to get it sorted out before her brain's plasticity goes to shit.
 
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