🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Disrespected Pronouns said:
If he is actually in Williamsburg I suspect (as someone else mentioned) that he's there becauase he had already booked a stay to continue his "I'm actually a cultured progressive, not some white trash degenerate" tour to impress Faith. But I so desperatly want to believe that he's hidding out in some interestate Motel 6 because he thinks that Mr. Vickers is local, loaded, and looking.
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I hope it's a days of yore honor duel, Colonial Williamsburg being an ideal setting, surrounded by buildings the intellectual leaders of the age may have visited. Mr. Vickers calls out Ralph in the middle of the town square for spoiling his daughter. They make a date to meet at the edge of the forest at dawn.

He lets Ralph choose the weapons - poorly made, cheap Chinese swords. Gator, donned in a luchador mask, is Ralph's second. They assemble the following morning. Ralph stumbling around drunk, clearly imbibing in Maker's Mark the previous night. Mr. Vickers and Ethan Ralph line up, take their paces ... but Ralph runs away in fear, leaving Gator to rise to the occasion.

Gator, taking up the sword for his Master, takes those paces, turns, and falls. Gator, mortally wounding trying to defend his master, as is his wont, writhes on the ground in pain - then, still. Faith, crying in her father's arms as the debt is paid in Gator's blood, says, "He was such a sweetheart'. Hot blonde Puerto Rican women everywhere cry out in agony.

ER stumbles to the nearest tavern and orders a bourbon, telling the patrons that he's an e-celeb and he banged some sweet 18-year-old ass. Mr. Vickers and Faith walk away hand in hand. A new day has dawned as sunlight hits Gator's crumpled body, lying alone in the clearing. He truly was a Gunt Guard.

Edit - Paragraphs
 
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High Tea said:
I hope it's a days of yore honor duel, Colonial Williamsburg being an ideal setting, surrounded by buildings the intellectual leaders of the age may have visited. Mr. Vickers calls out Ralph in the middle of the town square for spoiling his daughter. They make a date to meet at the edge of the forest at dawn. He lets Ralph choose the weapons - poorly made, cheap Chinese swords. Gator, donned in a luchador mask, is Ralph's second. They assemble the following morning. Ralph stumbling around drunk, clearly imbibing in Maker's Mark the previous night. Mr. Vickers and Ethan Ralph line up, take their paces ... but Ralph runs away in fear, leaving Gator to rise to the occasion. Gator, taking up the sword for his Master, takes those paces, turns, and falls. Gator, mortally wounding trying to defend his master, as is his wont, writhes on the ground in pain - then, still. Faith, crying in her father's arms as the debt is paid in Gator's blood, says, "He was such a sweetheart'. Hot blonde Puerto Rican women everywhere cry out in agony. ER stumbles to the nearest tavern and orders a bourbon, telling the patrons that he's an e-celeb and he banged some sweet 18-year-old ass. Mr. Vickers and Faith walk away hand in hand. A new day has dawned as sunlight hits Gator's crumpled body, lying alone in the clearing. He truly was a Gunt Guard.
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what a beautiful tale of lechery, honor, revenge, and love. truly the greatest love story of the new millennium
 
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To celebrate GUNT2K I've made a new GIF. Uploaded a large res version as well as a compressed lower res version below (that's about 2mb opposed to 20mb). Have fun!

GuntHype.gif

GUNTHYPEGIF.gif
 
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MeltyTW said:
he was congealed in the backside of the trash hoard of the ralph estate


we have to get a pillstream, weve mocked his penis and jim disavowed. theres no way thinskinned ralph will be sober after all this shit and facing thousands of hate watchers and concerned piggies. ive never drank or did drugs or smoked and id be drunk off my ass if that were me and i had to face the music
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Even on his twitter feed there are people sucking the gunt non stop. I mean I’m a pretty raunchy degenerate myself but exposing his tiny penor and posting revenge porn to own some poor sob methhead? It’s pretty disgusting I don’t get how people can tenderly caress and kiss the gunt after a fuck up of this magnitude. I feel for the Meth man perhaps he’ll track down the gunt and hunt the gunt for sport?
 
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MindYourSeabiscuits said:
"Fuck you I won't do what you tell me. That's how I live my life"-Gator
That must be what happened, Gator's parents say "Son we think you should make something of yourself and get a good job" "FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD I'M NOT GOING TO DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!! I'M GOING TO STOCK SHELVES!"
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If only Gator had parents who physically and verbally abused him. He'd have been a top brain surgeon and never met Ethan Ralph.
 
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High Tea said:
I hope it's a days of yore honor duel, Colonial Williamsburg being an ideal setting, surrounded by buildings the intellectual leaders of the age may have visited. Mr. Vickers calls out Ralph in the middle of the town square for spoiling his daughter. They make a date to meet at the edge of the forest at dawn. He lets Ralph choose the weapons - poorly made, cheap Chinese swords. Gator, donned in a luchador mask, is Ralph's second. They assemble the following morning. Ralph stumbling around drunk, clearly imbibing in Maker's Mark the previous night. Mr. Vickers and Ethan Ralph line up, take their paces ... but Ralph runs away in fear, leaving Gator to rise to the occasion. Gator, taking up the sword for his Master, takes those paces, turns, and falls. Gator, mortally wounding trying to defend his master, as is his wont, writhes on the ground in pain - then, still. Faith, crying in her father's arms as the debt is paid in Gator's blood, says, "He was such a sweetheart'. Hot blonde Puerto Rican women everywhere cry out in agony. ER stumbles to the nearest tavern and orders a bourbon, telling the patrons that he's an e-celeb and he banged some sweet 18-year-old ass. Mr. Vickers and Faith walk away hand in hand. A new day has dawned as sunlight hits Gator's crumpled body, lying alone in the clearing. He truly was a Gunt Guard.
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Come on buddy, paragraphs aren't that hard. Have some consideration for people who might want to actually read all that shit. Check out @Squire of Gothos for an example of a true effort post.
Edit: it was a good fanfic though lol
 
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Stunk said:
Even on his twitter feed there are people sucking the gunt non stop. I mean I’m a pretty raunchy degenerate myself but exposing his tiny penor and posting revenge porn to own some poor sob methhead? It’s pretty disgusting I don’t get how people can tenderly caress and kiss the gunt after a fuck up of this magnitude. I feel for the Meth man perhaps he’ll track down the gunt and hunt the gunt for sport?
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i think even ralph knows that his core followers are worthless scum, even he was fucking embarrassed of his audience's behavior with the red ice girl. even ralph who hits on girls cheats openly, simps openly etc is, rightfully mind you, embarrassed of the shit stains and pathetic virgins who watch him. they think sticking it in is an accomplishment when even ralph has some shame about this.
 
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Disheveled Human said:
We all know he collects dirt on everyone who talks to him privately, we know he records private conversations like rand and his miscarriage. It is safe to assume everyone post sex tape that was apprehensive of calling Ralph out or making even the slightest joke against him he has dirt on.

Dick, Augie, Gator, Jim, Flamenco, Dame, Bibble, Rand just to name a few. Notice how all these people have private discord conversations with Ralph on a regular basis.
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There's a little bit of that, but the really big common factor in the people we know a bit about who show unwavering loyalty to Ethan Ralph is that they're deeply shitty people like Ryan "Randbot2020" Johnson, Andy Warski and Dax Hererra. Gator seems to be an exception here even though we know nothing of his personal life: he seems to be so retarded that all his anime has convinced him to live by a samurai-esque code of honor and loyalty, except for racist podcasts.

It will be interesting to see what Bibble does. I didn't catch a killstream tonight, who showed up to host?
 
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MindYourSeabiscuits said:
"Fuck you I won't do what you tell me. That's how I live my life"-Gator
That must be what happened, Gator's parents say "Son we think you should make something of yourself and get a good job" "FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD I'M NOT GOING TO DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!! I'M GOING TO STOCK SHELVES!"
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“son maybe eat one less quadruple bacon cheeseburger today?”
 
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