🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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jumbojet said:
Has anyone suggested that Ralph could become a camman, as in a camgirl. That might actually be a lucrative business proposal. Could stream together with all other failed e-celebs. Call it IFS - internet fuck sports. Featuring TTS, obviously. "C'mon stick that pig-hoof up Andy's ass and sniff it", says a computer generated voice from Incel69 for 5 dollars American.
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Now that's fucking Based!
 
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I think the only way Ralph has of getting himself out of hot water is if Faith says she consented to the leak. I think his 'silence' is there until he can either convince, beg, or more realistically, buy his way into getting her to come on stream and say that it was all above board.

"ahm gonna kill mysayelf Fai Fai n0ooooo, just come ahwn, only for a second, I'll blow my heyd ahff and it'll be your fauuuuult, I tayk ahlll these pills and then ahlll teylll the whole world about how much mayyyyth you were smowkin if y'all don't get your whore ass on stream, ahlll even give you a thousand dahallers, a whole crisp 1000, baby that's more then the pornstars gayt for their tapes, it'll be like you're a starr, baby, just com ornnnn and tayll the people ma dick is bigger in person, com ownnnnn, you know it's troooooo"

Naturally, this only means anything to his paypiggies and guntguard. I don't really care whether or not it was illegal, it's still both tragic and hilarious and isn't going to spoil the glorious harvest.
 
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Earthworm Foucault said:
I think the only way Ralph has of getting himself out of hot water is if Faith says she consented to the leak. I think his 'silence' is there until he can either convince, beg, or more realistically, buy his way into getting her to come on stream and say that it was all above board.

"ahm gonna kill mysayelf Fai Fai n0ooooo, just come ahwn, only for a second, I'll blow my heyd ahff and it'll be your fauuuuult, I tayk ahlll these pills and then ahlll teylll the whole world about how much mayyyyth you were smowkin if y'all don't get your whore ass on stream, ahlll even give you a thousand dahallers, a whole crisp 1000, baby that's more then the pornstars gayt for their tapes, it'll be like you're a starr, baby, just com ornnnn and tayll the people ma dick is bigger in person, com ownnnnn, you know it's troooooo"

Naturally, this only means anything to his paypiggies and guntguard. I don't really care whether or not it was illegal, it's still both tragic and hilarious and isn't going to spoil the glorious harvest.
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@AnOminous I do not know the legal specifics of what 'extortion' actually, is, but would suicide baiting like this amount to it? Even if it didn't cause her any actual stress, could she just claim it caused 'undue hardship' or something other, lump it in with the leak, and throw the book at Ralph? I want him to continue his antics, but his manipulative tactics have me curious and as ever you're my go-to lawman (are you hourly, or can we do this on contingency).
 
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Some gunt guard told me that we must consider the possibility that someone in the house posted it and not Ethan, the only people there are his entombed mother and Evan Ralph. I personally love the theory that Evan decided to fuck Gunty over and post the video and i submit that despite how idiotic it is that it should be inducted into canon along with the fact Ronnie rose from the dead to review Ethan's sex tape
 
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MeltyTW said:
Some gunt guard told me that we must consider the possibility that someone in the house posted it and not Ethan, the only people there are his entombed mother and Evan Ralph. I personally love the theory that Evan decided to fuck Gunty over and post the video and i submit that despite how idiotic it is that it should be inducted into canon along with the fact Ronnie rose from the dead to review Ethan's sex tape
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I understand Ethan has to deny it to try and shield himself from the law but even if you like Ralph you gotta know he did it. Truly delusional.
 
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Elric of Melnibone said:
Iirc Ade said he has Howard Hughs piss jars in his room. This would be the most logical theory with ralph, he just pisses in the empty bottles while sounboard old fags the stream for him.
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Thankfully, Ralph cleared this up for us.

youtu.be

Ethan Ralph's Piss Jugs

It's the way of the road, bud. You can find Ethan Ralph at: dlive.tv/theralphretort
youtu.be youtu.be
 
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MeltyTW said:
Some gunt guard told me that we must consider the possibility that someone in the house posted it and not Ethan, the only people there are his entombed mother and Evan Ralph. I personally love the theory that Evan decided to fuck Gunty over and post the video and i submit that despite how idiotic it is that it should be inducted into canon along with the fact Ronnie rose from the dead to review Ethan's sex tape
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He even wasn't the one who filmed it because his thumbs were "collecting dingleboulders".
 
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jumbojet said:
Has anyone suggested that Ralph could become a camman, as in a camgirl. That might actually be a lucrative business proposal. Could stream together with all other failed e-celebs. Call it IFS - internet fuck sports. Featuring TTS, obviously. "C'mon stick that pig-hoof up Andy's ass and sniff it", says a computer generated voice from Incel69 for 5 dollars American.
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This is ironically the only way out at this point @theralph
 
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The good thing about what's unfolding is even if Faith does come back and give consent after the fact (or it's revealed she permitted it beforehand) there's still so much to weaponize.

He lives with his mother, surrounded by empty bottles and filth. He's a potential scat-fetishist who plies 18 year old girls with alcohol and huffs their shit. He's a thin-skinned, fat-headed pig who takes a joke about as well as children in Yemen take stray bullets. He's sedentary, despite every claim he's made otherwise. Even his guests carry him.

And what if he tries to say he was hacked? He's used Keepass on stream before, and he'd have to account for 2FA, which means passing the buck to somebody who was in his house the very night this stream occurred. And even if he could convince people he was hacked (on two accounts at once), he'd have to explain why this hacker leaked material that suited his immediate interests. The timing is convenient, isn't it? BF of a girl you'd been claiming to fuck comes out with texts of the girl saying you never did, and somebody hijacks your account to prove them wrong and nothing else?

I'm tired of this fucking idiot. He shits on Flamenco and Gator for being spergs, when his lifestyle is the EPITOME of spergery. Fuck this off-brand hick, and fuck anybody who defends him.
 
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Atomsk said:
Her ass has more craters than the moon
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don't forget I can see graft marks barely visible to the naked eye so something may have happened that required skin to be grafted to her ass by a plastic surgeon. maybe a burn? or a botched ass lift reversal? if it was done by a regular er doc itd be more noticeable.
 
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DickMain said:
@AnOminous I do not know the legal specifics of what 'extortion' actually, is, but would suicide baiting like this amount to it? Even if it didn't cause her any actual stress, could she just claim it caused 'undue hardship' or something other, lump it in with the leak, and throw the book at Ralph? I want him to continue his antics, but his manipulative tactics have me curious and as ever you're my go-to lawman (are you hourly, or can we do this on contingency).
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Suicide baiting like that is a form of emotional domestic abuse. No idea what Virginia statutes have on that kind of behaviour specifically though.
 
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